Revenge Seekers Anonymous

a/n: because there are an infinite amount of characters that have tendencies for revenge, I have chosen only a few to show in this fic. Please understand if your fav revengeful character is not included… I either didn't think of them, haven't heard of their fandom, or couldn't think of a way to fit them in.

Cast:

Sweeney Todd (from his musical)

The Phantom of the Opera (also from his musical)

Hamlet (a lot of these guys have their own stuff named after them)

Edmond Dantes (The Count of Monte Cristo)

Sasuke (Naruto)

Thief King Bakura and Malik (yugioh)

Manon (from jean de florette and manon des sources)

Daisy Sunnyshine (my oc… though I only might claim her)

Also appearing:

Skelington Jack (the Nightmare Before Christmas)

Zim (Invader Zim)

I only own Miss Sunnyshine

Have you ever been to one of the not so pleasant rooms in one's community center? You know, the ones that are dark and cold with no windows? The walls are a dirty whitish color because the daycare students occasionally use this room and their filthy little hands make their prints as high as the children can reach. The old carpet is almost worn through in some places, and in others it has old peanut butter and crumbs in it. That would be an accurate description of the dismal little cell that the facility was providing for this particular group therapy session.

An odd group of people sat in the chairs that created a circle in the center of the room. All of them sat waiting as an old clock slowly ticked off each passing second that the counselor did not show up.

The old door slammed open, revealing an incredibly smiley looking girl dressed in obscenely bright colors and holding a clipboard in her hand. She gasped, "WOW! There's so many more of you! I honestly didn't think a lot of people were going to show up this time!" The others stared silently as this ray of sunshine intruded on their dark bubble. She pointed to a nametag. "Hi, my name is Daisy Sunnyshine, and for those of you who don't know me, I'm going to be your counselor and friend," she squealed, sitting down in a metal folding chair, "This is Revenge Seekers Anonymous." She paused, waiting for a response. The sullen group looked back at her, some annoyed, some afraid, some just apathetic. Undeterred, the girl continued, "Now, I know I said this was anonymous, but we're going to go around the circle and introduce ourselves! You can use a fake name if you want, but we'd like something to call you by. Anyways, this is a community center outside of all time and space, so it's not like the other characters in your story are going to hear about it. Hee hee hee hee hm hm hee hm" she trailed off into giggles. "Alright, let's start with you, the new guy with the crown."

The prince didn't even look up. "I shall pass 'til my thoughts be better moved within my head."

"Ummm…" Daisy hesitated, "Your name is fine for now. Or how you learned about the sessions?"

He paused, the others looked on, somewhat less than amused. "A dearest friend and almost brother, by the name of Horatio."

"Awwwwww, how cute! You must be Hamlet." Daisy squealed, grabbing a hold of his arm, "ok, up next… Mr. Todd! You were here last time, I believe." The man sitting on the other side of Hamlet nodded, running a thumb over the blade of a straight razor. "And you didn't tell us your story last time."

"No one said anything of importance last time," a teenage boy growled in the corner of the room. "The only thing that happened last time was Blondie going crazy and making multiple failed attempts on my life."

"I only attacked you once, for Ra's sake!" another boy shot back.

"Alright guys, settle down," Daisy cooed, "Mr. Todd, would you like to tell us your story?"

"As a matter of fact, I would," the Victorian clad man stood up, cleared his throat and began to sing:

There was a barber and his wife, and she was beautiful,

A foolish barber and his wife,"

"Mr. Todd, the girl did not tell you to start singing," a wealthy looking man with an Italian accent spoke up.

"As if anybody asked your opinion, Dantes" snapped a dark haired man in a long cape and white mask, "That man has a great singing voice."

"That's alright, Phantom," Mr. Todd sniffed, "If the count is jealous of me… well, it wouldn't be the first time I had to deal with that." He sat down and pulled out his razor again. "Proceed."

"For the love of," the count sighed, "Look, Sweeney, I have nothing against your singing. It's just really hard to understand what you're trying to say when it's accompanied by music that seems to be magically playing in the background."

The barber glared. "I don't recall being on a first names basis with you, Count of Monte Cristo."

"That's enough, you guys," Daisy said, smiling, "Next up is," she glanced at her clipboard, "Thief King Baki- Bakoo- Ba-… how do you pronounce this?"

"It's Bakura," the thief king growled, slouching in the metal chair. "I'm here because-"

"Hey, wait a minute," the blond teen interjected, "You're from my series aren't you? Bakura, it's me! Malik! I never knew you were trying to defeat Yugi for revenge! Why didn't you ever tell me?" He paused, "And why do you look so different? You're tan, and you have short hair. Are you just some long lost relative of Bakura's? Hey, are you guys really British?"

Bakura eyed the femininely dressed Malik and raised an eyebrow, "Malik?" he asked, "not ringing any bells."

"oh, please," Malik snapped, "You're trying to kill Yugi!"

"Who is this 'Yugi' you speak of? My arch nemesis is the Pharaoh."

Mr. Todd joined in. "My arch nemesis is" (dramatic chord) "Judge Turpin."

"You see?" the count said, "There it was again!" A faint melody began. "And there it is again!"

"There was a barber and his wife…"

"…singing with the music of the night." The Phantom joined in.

The musical stars stopped abruptly at the sound of harmonica music. Attention turned to the blond teenage girl holding the instrument to her lips. She glanced around sheepishly and pushed the small metal thing back in the pocket of her old, ripped up dress.

"We haven't heard anything from you yet," Daisy grinned, "Isn't that right, Hamlet? Wow, I didn't expect you to be this cute." The prince twitched uncomfortably.

The blond girl shifted under everyone's gaze. She spoke very softly, "My name is Manon."

"And what did those bastards do to you, Manon?"

"Now, now, they're all just human beings," Daisy said, "none of them really meant to ruin your lives, so, Bakura, please be nice." The thief king snarled.

"My father wanted a farm to care for," Manon began softly, "he worked so hard on the land so that he could make a living for us. But there was no water."

"How could there be no water on farmland?"

"They had stopped up the spring that would have saved us from going bankrupt. The farmers next door to us, they wanted the land for themselves," her voice cracked in hatred, "Everyone knew about the spring but they let my father work himself to death because he was a hunchback! And now I'm being stalked by that creep who pretended to be my father's friend but killed him instead!" Tears filled her eyes.

Soft music.

"Angel of music, cry no longer,

we, who were wronged, can help you…"

"You are so beautiful and pale, with yellow hair, like her

we'll help, though things will never ever be the way they were,

Manon, my dear…"

"Silence!" the count of Monte Cristo yelled, "Do you two honestly think that a song will solve anything? The only way anyone gets revenge is through power and money."

"I beg to differ," Bakura interrupted, "money has its perks, but it's not like you need it to get revenge."

"You're insane," the count scoffed, "do you expect to get anything done without money?"

"Money isn't what's needed," the black haired teenager hissed, "You need power. My name is Uchiha Sasuke, and I know this through first hand experience. When you are weak, you are nothing." He paused for dramatics, "My clan was murdered by my brother, and I have sworn to kill him at all costs. It will take years of training, but I will have my revenge."

"Yea, he's absolutely right, you don't need money when you have magical powers that can force people to do your will and the anime version of multiple personality disorder." Malik agreed.

"Perhaps, but most people don't have that," the count countered, "and as for Sasuke, um… have you ever tried to make your brother run with scissors?"

"Ok, let's move on to um… a game!" Daisy interjected, trying to turn the conversation in a less destructive course, "We'll go around the circle and try to say something nice about our enemies, alright?"

The room went deathly silent. All eyes were glued to the councilor. She had suddenly gone too far…

"AHHH! GUYS LET GO OF ME! PHANTOM! PUT THAT ROPE DOWN! MR. TODD, WATCH OUT WHERE YOU'RE WAVING THAT RAZOR! EEK! HAMLET! OUCH!"

"GET THEE TO A NUNNERY! Or just into some closet where we can't hear or see you anymore!" Hamlet cheered.

The enraged revenge seekers were wrapping the unfortunate oc in lengths of rope that the phantom had produced out of nowhere. Malik had gone yami and his hair was sticking up all over the place as he ranted about the world belonging to him once the obnoxious girl was out of the way. Hamlet was being exceedingly more talkative like his character in the play. Sweeney and Erik were once again singing a duo with Manon accompanying them on the harmonica. The Count was preoccupied trying to find a closet in which to stuff the girl. Bakura was laughing maniacally at the whole matter and Sasuke was seething in his emo corner.

"I do not think this room has a closet, Hamlet," the count said, "ah well, we'll have to find something else."

"Just dump her on the floor and shove a sock in her mouth," Malik said, "DO IT NOW MIND SLAVE!"

"Shove a sock into the screaming of the niiiiight…"

The girl was dropped on the Phantom and the group reassembled.

"Hey, Manon girl, I have a suggestion," Bakura barked, poking Manon with his foot, "You should burn their house to the ground with them inside it. Nothing like a good old-fashioned arson to get even with an entire town."

"Well, that settles it," Malik said, "you must be a distant relative, the REAL Bakura would've suggested knives."

"Mr. Todd, is that thing talking to me?"

"You should try flooding the town," the Phantom said, picking at his nails, "ironic punishment is always fun. They deprived you of water, so you should give them excess of it."

"Too difficult," Sweeney growled, "if it's ironic punishment you want, contaminate their water source." He grinned savagely, "watch the entire city catch disease and die all because you use their springs as a cesspool."

"How do you know about that?" Malik accused, "Aren't you from before people learned about that sort of thing?"

Before Mr. Todd could answer, the door swung open with a crash. The group looked over. A tall, thin skeleton in a black suit peeked through the doorway.

"Excuse me," he asked, "is this the group session for people who tried to take over Christmas? We're a little lost."

"Lost?" a short green kid with large magenta eyes stepped into view, "we are not lost! How dare you suggest that someone with the intellect of the Irken Empire could be LOST!"

The skeleton sighed, "That's nice, Zim. So, do any of you guys know where it could be?"

"Miss Not-so-happy-go-lucky-anymore might have some idea," Bakura grinned, walking over and tugging the sock out of Daisy's mouth.

"It's right down the hall… NOW SAVE ME! PLEASE! MMMLFFF" Bakura shoved the sock back into the girl's mouth.

"There's your answer."

"Many thanks," the skeleton answered. He glanced down at Zim who was still ranting about the glories of his species. "We'll just be going, then." The two of them walked off down the hallway.

Awkward silence.

"Well, I should probably be going," Mr. Todd said, standing up, "But this last part was rather enjoyable. We should swap revenge tips more often."

"Agreed," the count grinned, "shall we do this next week? At the same time?"

"I have nothing"

"Absolutely"

"I'll try my best"

One by one they filed out of the dark room back to their own stories.

Daisy squeaked and hoped that the daycare wasn't the next in line to use the room.

End

Yea… in case you haven't read it… the advice given to sasuke is a reference to the story scissors written by BEN-Beyond the Elusive Nomads- the story is pretty funny, you should go read it… and, BEN, if you would rather I not reference you, just message me and I'll change it