Ma'at's Apprentice: Hello! Welcome to my very first Fic.! Specifically: My very first Darkshipping fic and songfic. I got hit with the inspiration when I was updating my "Upcoming Stories" section on my profile, and I decided to write this one first since I have a definite plotline thought up. Does anyone care to say the disclaimer?
Bakura: Screw off.
Yami: *Lounging in a chair holding a book* Not particularly.
Ma'at's Apprentice: No matter. Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!. If I did, Yami and Bakura (or Yami and Yugi) would definitely be gay and Anzu would be burning in the foulest pits of the underworld. Isn't it a good thing I don't own anything but the plotline? The song is not mine, either. Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again is from Phantom of the Opera; created by Andrew Lloyd Webber (I'm pretty sure). Enjoy the fic.!
Rated M for attempted suicide and language.
This is my first songfic ever.
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"Go! Just… get out! Now! I never want to see you again! You don't do anything but fuck things up! Please, just go!" Bakura was stunned by the words that came rushing out of his hikari's mouth like an onslaught of swords, each one of them stabbing him in some place on his body as the former thief staggered back towards the door.
"Ryou, I…"
"No! I don't want to hear it! Get out, Bakura! Get out! I hate you!" Ryou cried with tears in his eyes – though whether they were tears of anger or sadness Bakura didn't know.
"I didn't mean-"
"GET OUT!" Ryou screamed, and the yami turned and fled out the door, closing it with a slam behind him.
{You were once
my one companion…
You were all that mattered…}
Bakura walked down the sidewalk, shoving his hands into the pockets of his black trench coat as he moved. His face was set in a hard mask of anger and hurt. He knew Ryou had been putting up with a lot; lying to the police and other authorities when Bakura broke laws either on purpose or by accident; as he still wasn't clear on everything in this modern world.
{You were once
a friend and father –}
Bakura sighed as he kicked a rock across the pavement. He looked up to see that he was standing in front of the Kame Game shop. The Pharaoh and his midget hikari would be there, he knew. Laughing and having a good time. For the umpteenth time Bakura felt that unwanted stab of jealousy. Ryou had once meant to him what Yugi meant to the Pharaoh. Ryou had been his constant companion and friend, almost like a father in this strange world.
When the Millennium Items had shattered, instead of sending the yamis to the afterlife like they were supposed to, the damned items had instead given them their own bodies. The Pharaoh, of course, had been ecstatic with the fact that he could remain behind with his midget hikari. Said midget's friends had been happy, too. For the Pharaoh, at least; suffice to say their enthusiasm had been dampened when they discovered Bakura had remained behind, as well.
That was the first time Bakura had encountered the jealous feeling. He didn't feel like he belonged with them; the Pharaoh's friends. He knew he was unwanted; he had known that for a long time. Even his caring, gentle hikari didn't want him, although Bakura didn't blame him for that; he had put Ryou through a lot. Ryou hadn't even known about his existence for the longest time. It must have been confusing to suddenly wake up in strange places.
That was also the first time he had experienced a feeling other than hatred for the former Pharaoh. Throughout numerous trials Bakura had watched the Pharaoh overcome; the man had always managed to come through using honor and trust; and Bakura couldn't help but develop a small sense of respect. It was true; Atem (or Yami, as he still insisted his friends call him) had grown from the pompous, arrogant prick of a Pharaoh he had once been to… well, something completely different. He still had that air of confidence around him, but there was a sense of humility, too.
Ra, what was he thinking? Bakura growled as turned away from the Kame Game shop abruptly. Why the hell was he even THINKING about the Pharaoh? They were still mortal enemies; he knew Yami still must hate him for all that he had put him through. Which suited him just fine! He hated the Pharaoh just as much.
Then why did he feel so odd saying that now? 'I hate the Pharaoh!' Bakura thought again, and was annoyed when he found himself unable to pull up any of the fiery feeling that had driven him throughout all the challenges. Instead he felt… guilty? Almost like he was lying to himself. But he wasn't! He DID hate the Pharaoh!
Only he knew he was lying to himself when he said that. Maybe that was why knowing the Pharaoh hated him hurt Bakura more than he would have liked.
{Then my world
was shattered…}
"Bakura!" Bakura whirled around, his body tensing as someone called his name. When he saw it was just the Pharaoh's midget hikari he plastered a scowl across his face and hunched his shoulders; hands still in his pockets.
{Wishing you were
somehow here again…}
"Whadda you want?" Bakura snapped.
"I was just wondering if there was anything you needed. Yami noticed you staring at the shop, and-"
"Oh, the Pharaoh noticed, did he?" Bakura sneered. "Why didn't he come out here himself, then?" Bakura already knew the answer, but he felt the need to make the small boy squirm.
{Wishing you were
somehow near…}
"Look, Bakura, I-"
"I don't wanna hear it!" Bakura growled as he turned to walk away.
"Bakura, wait!" Bakura was about to turn around and strangle Yugi when he realized it was not the hikari that had spoken. In fact, the voice that was echoing his ears was a rich baritone, ringing with an authority that even 3000 years stuck in the Millennium Puzzle couldn't get rid of.
"Well, well, Pharaoh; to what do I owe this honor?" Bakura said mockingly as he turned back around to meet a pair of narrowed crimson eyes as Yami walked towards them from out of the bookshop. He had ditched the usual leather in favor of some loose-fitting sweats that clung enticingly around his hips and a simple white tee-shirt that fitted his form and showed off his toned muscles.
{Sometimes it seemed,
if I just dreamed,}
"Bakura-"
"And why did you send him out, anyways?" Bakura thrust a finger at Yugi who was standing beside Yami with wide amethyst eyes. "Couldn't bring yourself to talk to a lowly thief such as I?"
{Somehow you would
be here…}
"Bakura, there is no need for this-"
"Look, just leave me alone, alright?" Bakura growled, not giving the Pharaoh a chance to finish his probable insult.
{Wishing I could
hear your voice again…}
"Bakura-"Yugi tried to speak up again. Bakura looked at Yugi, and was painfully reminded of Ryou. Gods, how he wished he could have started things different sometimes between them…
{Knowing that I
never would…}
"Shut up, runt!" That set Yami off.
"See here, Thief, NO ONE talks to Yugi that way!" Yami hissed, his eyes narrowing even further.
"Well I apologize for stepping over the boundaries, oh mighty Pharaoh." Bakura said sarcastically. "But in case you haven't noticed, this isn't Ancient Egypt anymore! You are NOT the Pharaoh, and therefore your word is NO LONGER law." Bakura was shocked to see the Pharaoh's expression change for a moment. The cocky façade had apparently slipped. How he had dreamed someday he could best the Pharaoh; to see that sure expression falter as the man broke underneath him.
{Dreaming of you
won't help me to do…}
"Oh, so I suppose you think your word is, then? I thought better of you!" Yami spat, his game-face back in play.
{All that you dreamed
I could…}
Bakura snorted and grabbed Yami by the front of his shirt, hoisting him up into the air. Yami's eyes widened in surprise and – Oh, Ra, was that actually fear? Ha! – anger as his struggles only made Bakura tighten the grip on his shirt.
{Passing bells
and sculpted angels,}
"Put me down, Thief!" Yami commanded. Bakura just smirked evilly and chuckled, a cold glint in his dark eyes.
"What's wrong? Can't get down?" He retorted with a mock-yawn.
{Cold and monumental…}
"PUT HIM DOWN!" Yugi raged, his face livid.
"Aww, did I make the hikari angry?" Bakura taunted, rolling his eyes. "Well, I apologize for inconveniencing you all." Then he did something he hadn't even planned. With a slight smirk, he dove towards the Pharaoh's face, and captured the King of Game's lips in a burning kiss. Bakura watched as Yami's eyes widened in shock as he gasped, giving Bakura access to the moist cavern before the same crimson eyes slowly drifted shut as the former thief ravaged his fellow former spirit's mouth. Suddenly, Bakura became aware of what he was doing and dropped Yami, watching as the ex-Pharaoh hit the ground with a thud.
{Seem, for you,
the wrong companions –
you were warm and gentle…}
"You sadistic bastard!" Yugi yelled.
"Such language! I didn't think you lights were capable of that." Bakura laughed as he turned and strolled away; trying to ignore the pang he had felt in his heart at the Pharaoh's expression of momentary pain as he moved towards his favorite thinking spot: the cliff.
-=-=-=-=-=-
"Yami! Yami! Oh, gods, are you okay?" Yugi asked after he turned away from glaring at the back of the departing thief.
"I'm okay, Yugi," Yami said with a slight gasp. "He just… surprised me." The former Pharaoh picked himself up off the ground and straitened out his shirt.
"A-Are you sure? Yami, h-he kissed you!" Yugi stuttered, his eyes wide in an expression of innocent horror. "You could press charges, you know! He shouldn't have done that! He-"
"Aibou, I'm fine," Yami said in a comforting murmur to sooth his frantic hikari.
"Are you sure?" Yugi had walked over to Yami and wrapped his arms around his Yami's waist in a hug meant to comfort them both.
Yami briefly thought of the Thief's expression; the glimpse of emotions he had caught in the man's eyes. That had been part of his gasp; seeing the anguish that lay within the depths of those dark chocolate eyes. He may be fine, but he was sure Bakura wasn't. And he knew he needed to do something. That kiss… it had stirred something in Yami. An emotion he had not felt this strongly in thousands of years. Wrapping his arms around his aibou, Yami rested his head on his hikari's unusual hair; so much like his own.
"Yes, aibou. I'm sure."
-=-=-=-=-=-
Bakura stood at the summit of the cliff, overlooking the small ravine that flowed below. His arms were crossed in front of him, and the sarcastic sneer that had become trademarked to him had slipped off to reveal an agonized, broken expression. Tears pricked the corner of his eyes, and he struggled to keep them from falling with no avail.
{Too many years
fighting back tears…}
It had been so long… he had tried to keep the feelings in so long… gods, it hurt! He almost wished someone would come; come and just… listen. He needed help; but he couldn't ask. No one accepted him, and his pride certainly would not allow it. Who would help a thief such as him?
{Why can't the past
just die…?}
Why couldn't they forgive him? Oh, wait, he knew why: because he had tried numerous times to kill them all while sending their souls to eternal torment in the Shadow Realm. It was only thanks to Yami that they were even alive at all anymore!
Of course it was kind of Yami's fault that Bakura had come after them in the first place… And Bakura of all people knew it was harder to let the past die than people liked to pretend it was. And so, taking a step forward, the thief looked up at the sky one last time before stepping to the edge of the cliff; looking down into the gorge. His resting place. Closing his eyes, Bakura sucked in a breath, and jumped.
{Wishing you were
somehow here again…}
"Bakura!" Bakura was vaguely aware of someone frantically grabbing his outstretched hand and pulling him upwards. "Bakura! Bakura, listen to me! Hold on, please!" The voice cried, sounding like a mixture of extreme anguish and immense pleading.
{Knowing we must
say goodbye…}
"Tell Ryou I'm sorry," Bakura whispered, trying to free his wrist from the other's grasp. His mind was too foggy to recognize the speaker; his need for release from the emotions that tormented him was too great.
"Bakura, please! This isn't the solution!"
"Why not? Everyone hates me, and you know it!" Bakura's mind was clearing, and his eyes focused on the below. He recognized the speaker now; the man that he would regret leaving the most much to his disgust. "You know it, Pharaoh. Everyone would just be happier if I was gone!" The thief's snarl was back as he tried to break free from Yami's grip, yet at the same time clinging to the rocks so as not to pull Yami over with him.
{Try to forgive…}
"That's not true." Bakura finally looked up and found himself staring into the bright, slightly misty eyes of his fellow former spirit. "Bakura, I'm sorry!"
"Sorry? Why are YOU sorry?" Bakura snapped, gritting his teeth. The rocks dug into his palms.
"Please, Bakura. Let me pull you up. Forgive us. Forgive me."
"I should be begging your forgiveness! You're too noble, Pharaoh!" Bakura growled. A spark of irritation appeared in Yami's eyes, but he blinked it away.
"Just let me help you." The Pharaoh said and against his desire to end it all, Bakura finally nodded and allowed the Pharaoh to pull him back up onto flat, solid ground. But something happened; he didn't know. As Bakura stood up at the edge of the cliff and started to move back towards the bench that stood only a few feet away, he noticed the ground around Yami's feet start to crumble.
"YAMI! GET OUT OF THERE!" Bakura called as the Pharaoh, who had been standing there watching him with an unreadable expression, suddenly glanced towards his feet before his mouth opened in a silent scream as the ground gave out beneath him. Bakura watched him close his eyes and he knew the Pharaoh was readying himself to die. But at that moment, time seem to slow down as the thief lunged forward, wrapping his arm around Yami's waist and hauling him away from the precipice as the rocks fell. As he stumbled backwards, Bakura tripped on the leg of the bench and fell backwards onto the grass that grew on the cliff. He landed on his back, and Yami fell on top of him.
But that wasn't the strangest or most unexpected part.
When Yami fell forward, he put his hands out to break as much of the fall as he could. But the impact and vibrations coupled with the shock he must have been feeling made his arms give out, and he collapsed on top of the thief, lips connecting by pure incident.
{Teach me to live…}
For a moment they both stared at each other with shock before Bakura suddenly closed his eyes and pulled the Pharaoh closer before he rolled over so their positions were reversed; with Yami on the bottom and the former thief on top. Yami had wrapped his arms around Bakura's neck and deepened the kiss, a slight moan escaping him as Bakura nibbled on his lower lip. Bakura placed his hands on Yami's hips and leaned into the former Pharaoh, his tongue sampling the man below him as he growled lustfully. The taste of exotic spices lingered on the thief's tongue as he mapped out the moist cavern, and both men found themselves moaning with pleasure at the simple gestures.
Finally, the need for oxygen broke them apart, but that didn't hinder them any. Bakura trailed tantalizing butterfly kisses down Yami's neck, every now-and-then biting down and sucking on a certain spot. This made Yami hiss with the combination of pain and pleasure as he groaned and ran his hands up and down Bakura's back. Bakura then made his way back to Yami's swollen lips, claiming them with his own as their tongues dueled in a battle for dominance.
Bakura pulled away first, staring at the dazed-looking man under him with a tender expression before he shifted his weight so he could get off the former Pharaoh.
"Bakura?" Yami asked as Bakura rolled off him, watching as the albino sat up to stare straight ahead.
"Why did you save me?" Bakura asked suddenly, turning to face the flustered-looking King of Games. Yami looked down.
{Give me the strength
to try…}
"Because I love you."
Bakura could do nothing but stare at Yami in what could be described as pure astonishment. "You… love me?"
"Yes. I don't think I knew for sure until today, when you…"
"When I kissed you."
"Yes. I saw something. I don't know what, but I could see it. I saw your pain; the inner torment. In that moment I saw YOU. Past the act you put on around other people." Yami looked up to see that the thief had gone completely silent.
"You don't have to be alone all the time, Bakura," Yami whispered, reaching his hand out to brush the side of the albino's cheek gently. He pulled away, surprised to feel a salty wetness on his hand. The thief was crying!
{No more memories,
no more silent tears…}
"You don't have to be alone," Yami repeated, and was surprised when the Thief turned to him with an expression that could have broken the hearts of even the hardest of men.
"When I look back… I can't think of one useful thing I've done with my life. I've wasted years, Yami…" Bakura looked back towards the sun that was setting over the horizon, staring over the expanse of trees.
{No more gazing across
the wasted years…}
Yami rested his head on the Thief's shoulder before he reached up to turn to the albino's head towards his. "Let me help you, Bakura. Let me teach you… teach you to live…" Yami breathed.
"Teach me to live, Yami?" Bakura's eyes were half-lidded as the Pharaoh's words ghosted over him. "How?"
{Help me say
goodbye…}
Yami smiled. "Like this." He brought their faces further together, before their lips touched once more and they were both enveloped into a void of passion.
-=-=-=-=-
"Yami?" Bakura asked as they broke for breath some minutes later.
"Yes, my love?" Yami replied, panting.
"What do you suppose our friends will say about this?" Yami seemed to go quiet for a moment, thinking.
"I doubt they'll like it, but we can make it work. They'll have to accept it… there's no going back for us now."
{Help me say
goodbye…}
"Right you are, my Pharaoh," Bakura said as he drew the smaller male back into a searing kiss. "And I wouldn't have it any other way."
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Ma'at's Apprentice: Well, that marks the end of my first Darkshipping fic AND my first songfic! I hope I did okay. Reviews and comments are appreciated and much loved! I'm sorry for the weak ending, though. It wasn't what I had wanted originally, but I hope it worked alright.
I also hoped the song matched the fic itself okay. I know it didn't work as well at first, but it seemed to fit it better with the later scenes.
So yeah.
I'm sorry for making Ryou seem so mean at the beginning, but I needed to establish what his relationship with Bakura was like. And saying: "Ryou and Bakura did not get along" somehow just didn't work for me. It sounds so… bleh, if you know what I mean.
Anyhoo… this also marks the end of the first fic. in my "No Going Back" trilogy. Yay!
Again, thanks for reading and I really would appreciate a review! Flaming is bad and I will hunt you down for that, but constructive criticism is appreciated unless you put it meanly. In which case I consider that a flame and bad things will happen =)
I also apologize for any OOC-ness you see in this fic. I'll try to express their characters a little better in the next fic, yes?
Till next time,
~Ma'at's Apprentice.