I don't own a thing in this story.

There will be more.

This one's just a short crack fic. After this, the shorts will actually be focused on one or two champions.

It was a bright and sunny day on the Fields of Justice. Almost annoyingly so, in fact.

Magic crackled and popped into existence over the Blue fountain, and with a dying sizzle, dropped out one Garen Crownguard. The 'Might of Demacia' took in a deep breath, and grinned, before breaking the silence with a loud outburst.

"Victory awaits, dear summoner! We must be vigilant, courageous even, in the perilous wilderness of this land. We must be... Dauntless! For in the name of our beloved country, rests all things tried and true! To be stood for, fought for, defended for, bled for, ..." and at this point, his summoner wasn't listening.

Garen hefted his sword over one shoulder and rotated his free arm, as visions of tall grass danced in his head. In the meantime, Lux joined the party.

Garen continued in the background. "...foliage won! I will bring glorious justice, in the king's name! I will be the stalwart lawn mower of ..."

Lux pranced up to the shop keeper, where by the time minions had spawned, and the last three champions had arrived, she still had yet to decide between a ring, a book, or a glowy stick.

Katarina shoved her aside, and slammed down a fist full of gold, then followed up with a glare that could've curdled Lulu. "Give me something strong. I'm going to need it."

Behind her, Kennen ran circles making airplane noises and Teemo announced his jungle path, insisting he could solo Blue and 'pawn tea feces.'

"... we will be valorous in the face of the enemy! We will triumph over the atrocities committed by the purple ones..."

And so it went that Blue team gathered their forces and readied themselves for the battle ahead.

Now for the Captain of the Dauntless Vanguard, his summoner had insisted that he be top. Thus, Garen was top. Who his enemy would be was anyone's guess. The enemy team was strangely composed. Within it's ranks were Caitlyn, Sona, Annie, Nocturne and Lulu. If anything, he expected two top. Instead, he got Lulu, and when the girl showed up in her funny hat, with her funny stick, he had trouble taking her seriously. Until he turned into a pastry. Thus, the battle for top commenced.

In bottom lane, things were slightly more serious...

"Hey bitch, either support me or get lost! I'm the carry here and you're the support! Now support me! Or I'm feeding! And don't think I'm joking, 'cause if you wanna push it, I'm feeding! You're all newbs anyway and not even worth my time! But 'cause I'm a nice guy, I'll carry you anyway, even though you all suck horse-" The enemy Sona struck a chord, literally, and censored the next several lines that fell out of Kennen's mouth.

Meanwhile, as Kennen's eyes grew bloodshot and bugged out of his little hood, Katarina punted him aside and stabbed everything ever.

From the opposing brush, Caitlyn made a guest appearance and threw a trap in Kennen's general direction. Then, slunk back into hiding. Sona gesticulated wildly at the creeps Caitlyn ignored in the meantime.

"Come on now, Sona. I've got them in my sights... just a little to the left... and... Headsho-! ... oh my, that was a minion. Whoops!"

From jungle, a single scream was audible for no more than a second, before being cut off by a gurgling gasp of what was probably Teemo choking on a mushroom.

"So, basically, a double rainbow is an optic phenomenon that displays a spectrum of light, caused by the sun shining on droplets of moisture still lingering in the lower atmosphere. Does that help you, Annie?" Lux queried casually, with a light smile.

Annie cocked her head; her eyes rolling about. "Haf you seen mah bah Tabbahs?"

Somehow, Lux had the sudden impression that she'd broken the girl. "Mmmm... have you checked your hand?"

Annie caught fire and ran around flapping her arms.

Back in bottom lane...

"You can't stop me! I'm feeding! You're such a stupid newb and you deserve every loss you've ever lost to lose a lost loss- AAAAAAAAAAAH!"

"Report Kennen. Kay thanks."

Sona gestured adamantly at the squirrel now scrabbling wildly against the base of Purple's tower.

"But the minions, Sona... I need to raise my farm! The tower can defend itself. Oh! Headshot."

Kennen was then beaten to death by a wild etwahl.

Once more in mid, Annie continued to randomly throw fire at minions, and Lux continued to flash them to death with her baton.

"You smell like burning!"

Lux raised a brow, the question of where the hell that had come from on the tip of her tongue, as quite suddenly, everything went dark and creepy. Well, creepier.

"All alone... I sense fear!" Nocturne's raspy voice gave his position away. A snare went his direction, and rooted Annie and her bear instead.

Nocturne's laughter paused midway. "You missed her?! How could you miss?! It's an AoE stun, you idiot! AoE! Area of effect! HOW DO YOU MISS?!"

Then there was impact, and Lux screamed. It wasn't the attack that surprised her; it was the dead Teemo atop Nocturne's head. Nocturne was wearing their jungler as a hat. Her 'eek' turned into a, 'huh?' Suffice to say, the surprise was short lived.

The two tumbled a moment, then both scrambled upright; with Nocturne readying his swordy-arms for a deathly embrace, and Lux smacking him over the Teemo-topped head. The nightmare lunged, and the younger Crownguard wedged her weapon between his blades, leaving the two at an impasse, until the tower added it's two cents worth. For two cents worth, it was potent.

Nocturne staggered, as he snarled for his teammate's assistance. "Noob, get your damn bear over here!"

Lux pulled her weapon free, then bopped him on the head again.

Meanwhile, Katarina had somehow scored a triple kill in bottom lane against Sona, Caitlyn and Kennen.

In a last ditch attempt at righting the situation, Nocturne fled towards the safety of jungle, as the tower continued to be Gandalf incarnate. There was a soft 'poof', as purple smog rolled out of the entrance.

Teemo had scored a kill.