IN A BAR TWENTY YEARS FROM NOW

by INKSPELL'D

What would happen if no one really cared that Edward was a vampire, and he and all his buddies went to a bar to play some poker? If those were the circumstances, this is the telling of what would happen! A really stupid telling of what would happen

Thank goodness I don't own Twilight! That would be insane! I would like the money, though. Stephanie's got some CASH goin' on!

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_IN A BAR 20 YEARS FROM NOW…._

It was dark in the somber bar, with drunkards talking in slurred voices with the occasional fight breaking out. But in a dimly lit corner there was a poker table, with four people playing their card game. What card game, you ask? Well use your wits, moron! It's a POKER table! In Zeus's name what is WRONG with you?

The four figures were named Mike Newton, Tyler Crowly, Andrew Something-Or-Other, and, of course, the famous (or infamous, 'cause the guy's really starting to get on my nerves) Edward Cullen, the annoying immortal beauty. Listen closely, and you might hear their conversation…

"Last night that freak of a wife Jessica made me dress up in these short-shorts and play tennis, like the 'perfect American couple' we are," Mike sneered, taking a puff from his cigar.

"Yeah. Wives are such a drag," Andrew complained, "especially when they haven't stopped getting taller since high school. I'm a dwarf compared to Angela!" He gave a glance at the cards in his hand and sighed. "I fold."

"Me too," Tyler said, putting down his hand. "I'm glad I divorced my wife. She was sucking me dry! I hope I never see Lauren Mallory's face ever again."

The three men looked at Edward expectantly, figuring that he was going to share with them all of the annoying facts of Bella Swan.

Finally, he spoke, "I love my wife and will for the rest of my existence. I would kill myself if anything bad was to happen to her and I would step in front of a train or murder a million men if it would result in her being happy."

Silence.

"Whelp, I fold," Mike said, putting out his cigar. "Is that Jessica calling? I should go to her. It's been, eh, nice talking to you again."

Andrew stood from his chair. "I've, uh, got a dentist appointment. At that place across town. See you, Edward!"

"And I'm getting my foot taken off because of diabetes!" Tyler exclaimed, grabbing his hat and coat. "Curse you, Coca-cola!"

So Edward sat alone at the poker table. He smirked. "HA! Losers!" and he grabbed all the money the boys had left and took it, whistling 'What a wonderful world' as he merrily skipped to his car.

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Yeah so this is just something really really stupid I did one day. Jenny actually thought of them going to a bar in the future and I said, hey! Let's put it in longer words! And here we are.

I don't really expect you to like it. I just thought the world should know what would happen. XD