Disclaimer: I do not own hitman reborn.
Wouldn't it be great if we could return to how we used to be?...
I stared down the street as light bounced off each window. Forcing myself to look past that one house. His house. And so far it wasn't working. Not that you could tell. My face was a perfect mask. Revealing nothing except awe as the sun slowly went down. Taking in the rare peacefulness that the moment had brought. For minutes even hours it seemed like the world decided to stop everything and focus on the beautiful sunset.
And he wasn't an exception to that it. I watched as his blinds slid down. Disturbing the moment in which everyone and no one was equal. Even me. Being no good at anything. I am painfully aware of the fact that no one views me as an equal. Even my friends. If you could even call them that. I am either boss or the clumsy little brother that you have to take care of. When was the last time that they didn't treat me like I would break something as soon as I moved?
At least he was always obvious about how he felt. He made sure I understood that he thought I was weak and spineless. Not that I can blame him. That tends to happen when I am with him...
Haha I am acting like a stupid love sick girl! I'm a boy dammit! I shouldn't feel like this for another guy. But why, even though I protest so much, does it hurt when I hear her talk about him? Every single damn day! Loudly with her friends. Does he know how she really is?
I sit around her every time the teacher assigns new seats. And I cant help but wonder if the universe just hates me. All the bad things that happen to all my guardians. Is it that obvious that I would chose their safety and happiness over my own? Cause I would for every single one of them...over and over again.
It kinda hurts when I see that it's not the same both ways. Sticking up for me is one thing. Being there when I cry after is another. And so far none have that much time. Or the patience to listen to why you could consider me a twisted and jaded person. No I am much too simple to be hurt by mere words. Too simple to notice that...the world would be fine without me. But am I the simple one? I can do good in school and I do. Though the only thing they see is the zero or the failure on the top of the paper. How am I suppposed to feel about that...
Not that I am suicidal. Far from it. I love life and the fact that I get a cheap imitation that some people would call friendship. Its just that sometimes I wonder. What is the point? I cant do anything right. And I will have to live with unrequited love for the rest of my life. Because I will always be too scared to just admit how I feel. Of the fact that his pale perfect lips would probably turn into a smirk as he laughs and tells me how weak I really am.
What had his girlfriend said in class? That he was a perfect gentleman and couldn't hurt a fly. Oh how I wanted to go and wipe that thought from her mind. He does much worse with his words. With his actions. And I feel horrible for the thoughts that I have about her. She who unknowingly breaks my heart with every word she and her friends utter about him. What sort of underwear he wears. How they will only make out at that club meeting coming up.
Leaning back on my bed I realized how much I hated everyone at that moment. That I could only feel equal in that one space of time. How the storm only fueled my rising turmoil. That the rain that slowly poured outside just helped me name all the people that bothered me with its steady rhythm on the roof. Lightening that signified the jagged crack in my heart.. The sun that wouldnt be there to greet me in the morning. Mist that would help me avoid everyone. And the cloud that would always remain aloof.
But I will always forgive them because I am the sky...
...it's unrealistic that you can hope to change your life.
A/N: Hello people. Well I hope he isnt too OC. And I think you can guess who he loves. Sorry I didn't mention any names. I didn't want to misspell them and I didn't want to get distracted by fanfiction. Like most stories I will write it is because I am focusing on one thing that has happened to me. And for this story it was listening to my neighbor's girlfriend talk about him all the time last year. I once saw in a book that it is a crush if it only lasts for a few weeks or days. But its love if it for months or years. And seeing that I have pretty much liked my neighbor since I moved next door about 8 or 9 years ago...well you get the idea. Hoped you liked it and review if you want it continued.