A/N: Yay, I wrote something long in a while. But I was expecting it to be longer, and more word-full.
DISCLAMIER: Heck no. I don't own -man, and I am neither one of its affiliates.
Lavi Bookman Junior.
He was an Exorcist of the Black Order. He was currently eighteen, and he was a Bookman's apprentice in training. He has no name, and his 'comrades' call him 'Lavi'. He had bright emerald eyes and ruby-coloured hair. Before he came to the Black Order, he never really knew what his purpose was for. His teacher only told him that Bookmen only exist to record human history and nothing else. He was told to shut off his heart away from the world ever since he became an apprentice. There are no records of his Innocence's synchronization rates or such. A test has shown that he has superhuman-like memory, and he may probably be one of the intelligent human beings alive. He takes in knowledge easily, and his major is of course; history.
But despite being another one of Bookman's apprentices, this apprentice might have broken a fragile string of thoughts inside. Was the Noah, Road Camelot, right about him, "belonging to no one"?
He just gave a good laugh over it. He didn't bloody fucking care.
The apprentice thought a lot. He kept thinking about human history, the beauty of Science, the inequalities and equalities of Mathematics and beyond, and not to mention the superficial power hidden among fiction and reality.
Moreover, he wrote every single thought of his down own paper, written carefully in a fountain pen. His teacher would tell him more about the world, and how damn foolish humans are. The apprentice would note it down.
His heart was only a piece of blank paper unstained with blood nor ink. He had shut off from the present. Had he ever felt anything, ever? Has he no heart?
Oh, sorry; Bookmen has no need for a heart. To them, the word is simply a word and nothing more. Warm feelings are to be abandoned and forgotten.
The Bookman Junior stood up from his desk. He pushed his chair back in neatly, careful not to mess up the stack of papers and books sitting heavily on top of his workplace. It had been a long day; longer than usual, and the boy was feeling hungry. But that thought angered part of him, as that reminded him that he was still humanly human.
Humans are such bloody fools. They start nothing but wars. It was everywhere in history, he thought.
The final rays of the sun were beginning to disappear from sight. He stared out of the bronze-grilled window for awhile. The glass glistened a pinkish-watermelon red, a fusion of a magnificent lively orange. One could be amazed at such beauty of something ever-so typical to daily life.
Deftly, Lavi pulled in the curtains. There was no need for beauty in this world, as there was never any at all. Hitler might have thought that he would have created "a second beauty" of this world, by creating wars and more death tolls. What ever happened to democracy? Did that man ever heard anything as "nation", or "peace"?
Who the fuck would care. Lavi grabbed onto his jacket and headed out. He closed the door carefully behind him, as he knew that his neighbour was already sleeping. The room that he shared with his teacher Bookman was located at the second block near the Science laboratories. Plus, it was near the abandoned library as well. When he was issued here, he thought that he had struck gold. He was like a dog with a bone, so as to say.
Along the way to the Order's lunchroom, he passed by two Scientists, whispering to each other. Lavi shoved his hands into his pockets, and put on a fake grin. It was just another fake mask, full of faked expression. He would have received a standing ovation if he were to be an actor. On second thought, being a mime would suit him. Everything came breezily to him. It was a death game.
"Hey...I've heard that Allen Walker's a Noah...! Is it true, Osborne?"
"What...I've never heard of Head Komui Lee saying that...are you sure?"
"I'm sure!..."
And the scientists continued whispering in hushed voices until Lavi could not hear them anymore. Instead, he was frowning at something on the floor. He knew something about Noahs; Noahs were only "remodels" of the Ancient Family with strong Family genes. They were the ones whom had started the Black War between the Saint and...well. Lavi went lost there, but Road Camelot's words happened to be ringing in his head then.
"Your heart belongs to no one."
The Bookman Junior stopped. So what if he did not belong to anyone at all? It was already part of his job, being both Exorcist and apprentice. So what if he had no one to go if his emotions decided to crash down upon him like an enraged waterfall? He would like someone to tell him the reason why; why the fuck the world has to be so small and why the fuck humans have to have emotions and hearts! The heart's only an organ, essential for life! God damn it, why the hell do humans have to be so insanely stupid; why the mother fucking why does he have to be human? Is it because inhumans are only angels and the God above, or is it because Bookmen are atheists and they have sinned to
much for words? Where would the souls of these fact collectors go after death, he wondered aloud. They do not have rights to speak up, think for themselves and others, go back to a place where they would call "home", or even have someone to teach them how to fly above the heavens and above.
But of course, the last would be completely impossible. No mortal would ever have wings.
But-wings; wings! Would someone not feel as though he or she might fly, feeling warm comforting emotions when he or she would be coming home? Surely that person may have missed several loved ones, waiting for them as time kills them as well. Sad to say Bookmen, but humans do die. And humans do feel emotions. Humans are not walking emotionless, mindless beings, walking around the on the surface of earth.
Unsurprisingly, he had a memory of someone saying all these. He clenched his fists. Why would that thought be coming back to him now?
He shut his eyes. In a good second, the images in his head suddenly flashed back, past years of forgotten letters and strings. A small frail girl stood limply with her ragged and torn dress. She held a doll that was never fixed in her small deft hand. She seemed as though she was waiting for the enraging flames surrounding her to be put out. She had her back turned, so no one could see her face.
The apprentice's expression changed to a shocked, fearful one. This girl...
"Humans are such fools. We never do anything right. We're all killing machines. We're all great liars too. We cover up the truth when everything goes berserk."
The flames around her suddenly roared, and soon she was swallowed up in the burning heat. She did not cry; for there was no one to hear her scream. Then magically, so unbelievably fictional; a light coming from a distant echo soared through the darkness, and put out the roaring flames. Then everything else turned back to darkness.
"Lavi" Bookman Junior instantly knew who it was. It did not take him long enough to know that that girl was another fragment of his abandoned life, living in a precious secret that he would not dare tell anyone. Not even his teacher.
Would there be a possibility that she was still alive, and not already killed by some reckless mother fucking bastard?
Would that be it, dear apprentice? Would that mean that you do have something preciously close to you, and you actually had a heart for someone inside?
What dark secrets do humans have to hide? The fact that that particular topic never dies is ever so popular. Hatred is popular. Foolishness is popular. Weapons are popular as well.
So, there actually are idiot humans out there who do really care about each other. How cute. But; if there were really humans of that nature, then why are there still inequalities among humans? Moreover, what happened to all those atheists who never believed in such a mortal as God? Were they punished?
Now, Lavi thought. Bookmen seriously do deserve to receive the same punishment as those sinners. They never care at all.
His lips curled into a strange, sadistic-like grin. What had invaded into his thoughts now?
"Hu...Humans. All of us will never know the truth," a whisper escaped from his lips, audible enough for the wall beside him to hear.