DORMANCY
NOTE: This takes place in the "Breath of Evil" arc. The time line is after Elliot reunites with Hunter Bathington in chapter seven. The backstory can be found there for those unfamiliar with that work. This also takes place after and more importantly "That Dog Don't Hunt" where the deeper parts of backstory are found. There are spoilers for those not reading BOE and also for some who are. I apologize. I just needed to clear the air in my writing head and I'm thinking that this did it. This is just a bit of their lives that won't make it into BOE.
WARNINGS: Language. There is some mild sexually related discussion. Nothing graphic. Just The fellows talking about their memories of the Vegas trip. I think it's tame enough and not more than five sentences. The really graphic stuff has been cut from this copy.
Links: For those interested in the complete version please e-mail me or PM me and I will provide a link.
TRANSLATION:Жир шут, Zoor choot: The Fat one's jester.
DORMANCY
"Tell me something Tyse, you ever think about that night in Vegas? Ever regret stopping when you did?"
Rios took a sip of his beer, looked to his left and down at Salem. That was not the question he expected or ever wanted to hear and he tried to quell the flutter of nerves that twittered through his gut. He'd tried for years to forget that night to no avail.
The younger man was sitting on the cool gray tile floor of the terrace legs stretched out and crossed at the ankles. He was shirtless dressed only in a soft, well-worn pair of black cotton Gi pants. While he pondered the awkward query Tyson studied Elliot. He had his head tipped lazily back against the white, lime water painted stone wall and was looking slightly over his left shoulder out between the black wrought iron railing and across the blue water of the caldera. His hazel eyes, droopy and glazed, showed just how exhausted and drunk he was; which is precisely why Rios figured he'd garnered up enough courage to ask the taboo question. The cool Aegean air wisped his freshly washed, tussled bangs across his face and Rios fought, as he often did, the urge to tell him to comb the unruly mess or cut it. Now was not the time for admonition though.
While he watched, Salem reached down with his right hand without looking and adjusted the ice pack wrapped loosely round his right shin. The old animal trap injury from Sarajevo had flared up during the op and by the time they'd reached extraction the man had been nearly non-ambulatory and in horrible pain.
"Leg any better?"
"Yea s'pose so, swellings down."
Rios sighed. His own deep gravelly voice was nearly the antithesis of Salem's nasally higher pitched tone. A brutal forearm smash across his nose during close quarter combat didn't help and Elliot sported puffy black and blue eyes as evidence of the blow. Rios also noted the three tennis ball sized purple, green and black bruised welts dotting Salem's muscled chest; the results of three AK 47 rounds fired from less than thirty meters away. The near point blank hits dropped Elliot in his tracks as they pressed forward through a narrow cleft of stone and Rios had to crawl over him to get to a position where he could neutralize the threat. He sipped the dark Grecian beer and swirled it around his tongue. Elliot had run full speed into the fire, his anger and temper getting the better of him once again. At least, Rios thought, this time that fury had a personal and well justified cause.
"Need a beer? Gonna go in for one."
"Sure, Tyse."
Rios stood stiffly up from the hand hewn lounge chair, cracked his thick neck and slipped into the cozy one room loft. The door was only two feet wide and barely six feet tall so he needed to turn and duck to squeeze in. The little Greek hideaway had less square footage than Tyson's three car garage. It was Salem's home away from home and the only real piece of property the young man actually owned. He'd purchased it cash a few years ago without Rios' knowledge, and fixed it up himself between missions. It sat perched atop a larger home cut into a sheer cliff face in the little town of Oia on Santorini. Tyson had been amazed that Elliot could even find such a place let alone figure out how to buy it. He padded across the cool stone floor noting that it felt nice to be out of his boots, into the little alcove that served as the kitchen and pulled open the door of the grumbling refrigerator.
"Pain in the ass though it's gonna be getting one up here, Salem man, you're gonna need to replace this old thing." He muttered to himself.
He took out two beers, shut the squeaky door and pressed the latch firmly to make certain it closed. The refrigerator ground to a halt as he turned away and Tyson stopped short.
"Don't die this week though old girl."
He turned back, rapped on the left side of it three times hard and then rocked it backwards slightly. The old motor wheezed alive again and he sighed.
"That's my girl, just last until next Friday."
On his way out he stopped and used the bathroom. Like everything else about the little place it was tiny. Tyson actually needed to kneel to get under the shower head. He finished up and headed out. The nicest feature of the home was the sleeping loft. It was up a narrow set of roughhewn timber steps and two thirds the size of the lower space. It had an access hatch to a small roof deck and Salem had hung two hammocks up there and placed some comfortable chairs as well. Sometimes when the night air was just right they'd sleep out under the stars. The only bed was a thick pallet of furs and heavy locally made quilts on a low ledge above the floor of the loft, cushioned by a dense wool pad. It was about the size of a full mattress and Rios had to admit that even though after a mission and sleeping on the ground for weeks at a time he craved his bed, the loft pallet was as comfortable as any man could ask for. It was nest like and he always felt at peace bundled in its warmth. It sat at the rear of the sleeping area in a niche actually carved into the cliff face wall tucked beneath a low ceiling. The exterior wall of the space overlooked the caldera and was all windows accessible by the narrow balcony that framed the space. You could open the deep blue nearly ceiling to floor shutters and the space was more like a cozy cave terrace.
Poking his head from the living area's terrace shutter Rios saw that Elliot hadn't moved and half hoped he'd fallen asleep. They'd stopped at Oia after their last mission to rest. The op was a personal matter of revenge for a horrible event from Salem's past. The younger man had held the old incident secret from Tyson for years. Once he'd come clean with Rios about the cause of the shameful memories that often haunted his nightmares the bigger man, infuriated by Salem's plight, immediately began to plan the difficult op as a solo mission. Elliot sussed him out and the plan changed to include him. He argued that it would be an act of closure. That despite his ultimate trust in Rios to complete the deed, seeing the perpetrator of his pain dead with his own eyes would be better. Unfortunately despite their careful planning the mission had turned out to be a bit more arduous than the duo had expected. They'd traveled to the target location via three different countries by various land based transportation and on foot for miles to cover their tracks over the course of a week then reversed the procedure to get to where Cha Min Soo's men waited to extract them. The emotional nature and personal impact of the job combined with the added physical requirements wiped them both out, so when Elliot suggested a stopover in Oia Rios jumped at the chance. A quick call to Alice to check in and request more time for their 'vacation in Tahiti' clinched the deal. Now Elliot, with his question, threatened to turn a week of relaxation into god knew what.
"Here, you gonna make it, Kermit?"
"Yea."
Elliot half slurred looking up lazily at, Rios. He licked his dry lips and half way smiled. It was a smile Rios loved; it made the man look like a little boy. His unkempt hair and sleepy eyes only enhanced the effect. They locked gazes for a bit and Rios felt oddly uncomfortable. He finally blinked and looked up and out across the caldera at the crimson setting sun. He'd hated the tiny house at first, it frightened him on some gut level and he'd had a tough time relaxing there in the beginning. Sure it was beautiful beyond belief. The water, the weather, the sky, the stars at night all of it but it was a volcano and Tyson just felt uneasy hanging around a volcano. He looked back down at Elliot who was still looking up at him. Salem though had loved it at first sight. Apparently he'd seen a picture of the town in a tourism magazine while on a commercial flight they'd flown home on over a year ago. He tore the page out, took it home and looked it up. Within a week he was on a flight there and the little loft, well off the tourist track, was his.
"What?"
The question snapped Rios back to reality and he blinked ashamed that he'd been staring. Salem was looking at him his drowsy albeit bruised countenance one of complete innocence and peace. Peace and innocence that was now, for the moment. Maybe, Rios thought, that's why Salem loved the volcanic island so much. They were kindred souls; both beautiful, both islands, both responsible for countless deaths; both able to be tranquil one minute and in the next they could explode violently, rending absolute destruction on everything in their paths.
"Nothing. Had to do FMR again; fridge's gonna take a shit any time now."
The reply came out a bit tersely and Rios smiled to smooth over the slight. FMR, fridge motor resuscitation as Elliot coined it. Tyson knew from the sound of the clackity appliance that no amount of FMR was going to keep the antique alive very much longer not to mention it had begun shocking them from time to time when they grabbed the handle.
"Nah, she's good for another few years easy. No worries, Tyse."
"Ok, Ellie if you say so." Rios replied chuckling. "Yea, that's my Elliot as always the eternal optimist. But if she shocks me one more time, bullet right between her motor mount bolts, hear me?"
He chided returning to his lounge chair, stretching back out and crossing his thick ankles not far from Salem's, their feet nearly touching.
"So Vegas?"
"Look, Elliot."
"Yea, yea we swore never to bring it up. I know. But we also swore never to use our delightfully vicious skills for personal matters too; which if you recall is exactly what we just finished doing."
"Freemont got what he deserved. Better then he deserved. If it'd been just me, his death would have been long, slow and a grim playback of everything he did to you."
Salem didn't respond and Tyson looked back down at him. He still stared away out across the water of the caldera and Rios couldn't quite see his face enough to read his thoughts.
"You have a bucket list, Tyse?"
"No I ain't got a bucket list nimrod! In case you've missed out on the last fifteen or so years we make our money risking life and limb…"
"Death, just say it."
"Fine death; every day. That's, having a list, that is bad karma. Bad karma worse than buying a dining room set and dishes kind of bad karma, Salem; don't go there with me."
"Nimrod, yea Tyse Nimrod's cool but for me I'll take Ant Man any day. No, wait or maybe better yet, Deadpool he has some sweet guns and a wonderful personality, well personalities. No, no the Silver Surfer, Ant Man… ugh how can a man decide!"
"What!"
"Super Heroes, Tyse. Christ don't you read? X-Men volume one number 191 1985 Nimrod, human alias Nicholas Hunter, he…"
"You're unbelievable, Elliot."
"Got three boxes full. You've been movin' 'em for years now. Well anyway I can see you are not one of the comically enlightened so back to my bucket list. Freemont was one thing, but there's more stuff. Guess going back to Louisiana was one, buying this place was one, but Louisiana and seeing Hunter and Quentin well that added another one and that got me thinking hard about Vegas. I…"
"Salem I stopped you in Vegas…"
"Yea you did."
"I stopped you because I'm not wired that way, Elliot."
"Do you ever think about that night though, Tyse; wired or not?"
"No, I categorically do not think about Vegas."
Rios sat up straight and looked down sternly at Salem as if to add emphasis to his answer. The younger man had finally turned his attention from the view across the lake and was looking up at him. There was no glint of mischief in his eyes this time, only what Rios could best describe as grim determination and a touch of sadness.
"You know Tyse, I lie to you. I always have. Damn good at it too, bro. I lie about little stuff and sometimes even big stuff. I lie to make you not worry when I'm hurt but I think after so many years you pretty much see through that one. I lie about stuff I do, places I go, folks I know and things I feel, and well all sorts a stuff. Just comes natural. You have gotten better at seeing my lies but the thing is it's just plain a part of who we are, my lying. Thing is Tyse you never lie to me. Never have. You hated me at first and made sure I knew. Then you grew to love my sorry skinny bitch ass and you make sure, although now and again you do fuck it up, that I know. If things are going south you tell me, like the fridge, I know she's dying but I don't want to think about it 'cause she's my first fridge and I love her. So don't insult our friendship by starting to lie to me now. That Rios, 'No I categorically do not think about Vegas.'" He growled out in a poor rendition of Rios' voice. "Is the first lie you've ever told me and that kinda hurts."
"Salem…"
"I know you think about it. How can you not? We were so close we…"
"Salem I don't think we should…"
"I do think about it. I think about that night a lot and I wish you hadn't stopped. Ok? There I said it. No shame, Tyson, just the facts. I wish you hadn't stopped me and I damn sure think about it. See no bolt of lightning striking us dead, nothing, just me sayin' what's true. Pretty much the only time I actually feel any fucking thing when I fuck is when I think about it. Granted closing my eyes and pretending some little bar fly is you is …"
"Enough Salem, this is going nowhere. You're drunk and exhausted, we both are so let's just put this to rest. I am not…"
"Yea, yea wired that way. And I am? Hurts to play second fuckin' fiddle to a Panda, geeze."
"I don't know, Elliot." Rios sighed tiredly hoping that the Panda reference meant Salem was going to lighten up a bit and wishing he'd go back to picking a favorite Super Hero.
"Well Panda man here's a news flash for you. I'm thinkin' maybe I am wired that way."
"Elliot you have fucked women all over the world."
"Remember the part about the lying? How many women have you seen me fuck?"
He looked over at Tyson who was staring at him shaking his head in disbelief.
"I'll do the math for you…ah…one. Walking outta a bar with one don't mean I fucked her. And no there was never a Panda Man. There is the Black Panther yea, but no Panda Man. Sorry, big guy."
Rios stared back at him, if there was such a feeling as incredulous incredulity that was what he was experiencing.
"Ok, so after so many damned years attached to my hip you are now telling me it's men you've been bangin' all along and that you're gay and.."
"No, I ain't never consensually been with a man."
Rios' heart sank. Consensually, what the word implied brought visions to Rios' mind he hated; visions that plagued his sleep on a far too regular basis.
"And I'm sorry for that Salem, I am."
"Back to the thinking about Vegas part. So I'm thinking, you know, about Vegas and I don't think, well sometimes anyway, you and me doing that kinda thing regularly would be good for us. Muddies up the relationship a bit. I Think…"
"Good, then see Salem once again we are in agreement."
"No. I think I know why you really stopped in Vegas."
Rios sighed and leaned back in his chair. Salem was like a dog with a bone when he got set on a subject and Tyson just figured he'd just let the man play himself out.
"Ok, so why'd I stop you, Elliot? Enlighten me, Dr. Freud."
"Freud, oh yea him. By any chance when you were a child did your mother have a big full beard and long unkempt hair? Could explain the Panda affair, Tyse."
"Why-did-I-stop- you?"
Salem stood up letting the ice pack fall away, moved to Tyson and stood over him. Then he knelt down between his knees, settled back onto his calves with his hands in his lap and looked up into the older man's jet black eyes. He could see the crimson glint of the nearly set sun reflecting in Tyson's dilated pupils. He could smell Rios' cologne and the soap they'd purchased that morning down by the beach made from Sandalwood. For a moment he counted Tyson's pulse by watching the thump of blood through his carotid artery. He'd spent the better part of his life trying to keep that flow of blood going often at great expense to himself. The thump of Rios' heart was all that kept his own heart beating. The smaller man had long ago given up trying to separate his life's pulse from Rios'. They were simply too entangled.
The company therapist, after Elliot had described his intense feelings toward Rios during their first troubled day together in Somalia so long ago, had labeled them as Transference. Salem had just lost the only family he'd ever had, his team in Sarajevo, and upon seeing Rios transferred his need for family to the big Ranger in order to fill the devastating new void in his life. What the doctor did not know and never would was that it hadn't been the Sarajevo team Elliot was replacing but his lost wife and daughter. Transference and psycho-babble aside, Vegas, Vegas had to be discussed. His future hinged upon them or at best him coming to grips with Vegas.
Undeterred by Rios' glare Elliot reached up and placed his right palm over Tyson's heart. The skin was warm and Tyson's heart pounded beneath his muscled chest. He reached out and grasped Salem's wrist in a vice like grip.
"Elliot don't."
"Shh, let me finish. This is it Tyson, this is all I have lived for from the very moment I set eyes on you. Half my life bro it's been only you. Something just clicked in here," He patted his chest over his own heart. "The shrink Alice makes me see said it was Transference. That I'd replaced Jen and Ellie, well not Jen and Ellie, never told him about them, but the Sarajevo squad with you. But it was my girls, Tyse. Said that it was grief and shock and PTSD all rolled into a giant emotional grenade and that when I saw you it just exploded my heart and you slipped in."
"Elliot where you going with this?"
"I know why you stopped, Tyse. You stopped 'cause it would have been cheating on Samantha. You…"
"I was fucking a strange woman I met at a Craps table, Salem. The cheating was already underway, man. Let's just…"
"No, that's just it. No matter how much Samantha betrayed you you'd never betrayed her, ever. That was the first time. It all comes back to here."
He pressed his palm into Tyson's chest clawed into it and shook his head.
"You stopped; you turned me away because you-love-me."
"I do Elliot, but not-like-that."
"That woman meant nothing so she wasn't technically cheating. You turned me away because you love me and that Tyse would have made it cheating."
He pulled his hand free of Tyson's grasp and leaned back against his calves again.
"Go ahead Tyson lie to me again."
"No, maybe…"
"Maybe, maybe what? Maybe for once silly Salem, Жир шут, Zoor choot, is right?"
"Yea, maybe."
"God damn it Rios. We have shared everything else in this life, would it really have been that hard to just give me that moment, to have let me share that with you. I could see you watching me in the mirrored headboard when I came. I saw you come. No I should say when we came. I saw your face. It didn't lie and you can't lie to me about that night any more. God man you are so selfish sometimes. I don't know, I just…I…No… This isn't, wasn't' supposed to be an indictment, Tyse. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I just have something to say, the bucket list it's like I said half my life I've devoted to you unconditionally. Tables turned I'd have never told you no and you know that. Samantha's gone. Is it so wrong to want us to just be just regular men? To just live for us. Just to walk away from the madness and excuses and just live. To just fuck if that's where our feelings take us and not blame or hide behind the job, to just…"
"Elliot it's more than the job. It's…"
"It's always the job. It's always been the job! You took Alice from me because of the job. I never wanted it remember, but you, you dragged me in, Tyse and locked me up in it. You knew there was no way, no way Tyson that once you'd signed on I could let you go alone. I tried to walk away. I tried to be regular."
"You failed, Elliot. I dragged you drunk and spinning out of control from a squalid apartment and a dead end job only six months after we got out. You couldn't cope alone. If I hadn't you'd have died alone at the bottom of a tequila bottle a long time ago. You weren't handling it. You love the money Elliot, you love the adventure, you crave it and if you can't admit that to yourself I can't help you. For you every op is like a Crap shoot and you can't live without that thrill of rolling your die and taking a chance. Because despite all the planning it's still all about luck. You're an adrenalin junkie just like me; face it."
"True enough. But I'm tired, which brings us back to Vegas, Tyson and to cut to the chase as they say; I'm tired, real tired Tyson and it occurs to me that life's too short. So… either ante up or I'm gonna find someone else to share that Vegas part of myself with, 'cause women just don't cut it for me, bro. I see that now, ain't nothing wrong with it either; and I'm sick and tired of being alone."
Tyson stared down into Salem's unblinking eyes. The admission stunned him, angered him even. How could Elliot threaten him with such a claim? Was it a threat, should he be, did he even have a right to be angry? Whatever the case Tyson knew that this was a pivotal moment in their lives. He knew that Salem was well aware that he had no problem with two men being together. They both had several good friends, Vasily Tyannikov's crew nearly to the man, for one; all of whom, with the exception of Tyannikov, he liked immensely. Galen Secour for two, one of their own also fell into that category. Category? They weren't a category they were people, comrades, good trusted friends. He recalled Giddy's old admonition back in Africa after he'd fought with Salem over Tyannikov's overly forward attentions.
"You've got it made man. A partner, brother whatever you want him to be for fucking life. You can keep kicking him Rios but you will never ever drive him away. Like I said he's chosen you and fucking Tyannikov has just given him the license he needed to act upon his feelings. Good fucking night!"
"Got somebody picked out?"
Tyson snapped and regretted the comment as soon as it left his lips. The hurt in Salem's eyes was unbearable and justified. What frightened Rios even more though was the answer he read in them. Yes, Salem did have someone picked out. The lying conversation flashed through his memory.
"I lie about stuff I do, places I go, folks I know and things I feel, and well all sorts a stuff. Just comes natural."
He blinked as puzzle pieces began to click into place. Whenever Rios vacationed with Samantha and Nayla, Elliot was left to vacation alone. Rios had noticed some time ago that Greece wasn't the only country stamped in Elliot's passport that he'd visited solo. Croatia and Russia were there repeatedly over the years and far more frequently than anywhere else. Elliot had visited several times recently as well. A fact that Rios had never understood. Salem claimed to hate the region. On top of that he'd been alone in Croatia when he'd acquired his little Makarov. Tyson played that memory over again in his head.
"It's nice where'd you get it again?"
"Off a guy in Osijek."
"Osijek?"
"Nice city in Croatia."
"What the fuck were you doing in Croatia, Kermit?"
"You know Tyse, it's simple, visiting. Sometimes it's nice to see some of these places without looking down the barrel of a gun. You should try it sometime, Tubby."
Amidst all of the various weapons they'd ever encountered over the years they'd only come across one Makarov in their lives and that one had been jammed into Elliot's temple by Vasily Tyannikov.
"I have a decision to make Tyse, I need a clear path. I just want to see my way through and I need the truth, I have to know Tyse, have to feel it. Have to be sure."
"Did he hurt you?"
It was Salem's turn to study his partner. The question caught him off guard. But he read in Tyson's eyes that the big man had ciphered out the truth. He smiled despite his sadness. 'Did he hurt you?'
"My Rios, always my Rios, always there to protect me."
Maybe the night of the Makarov he hadn't but ever since that horrible day Tyson had been, and he knew that Tyson would always be there to protect him.
"No never… well… but Tyse you can't protect me from him, from this. I need this. I need…"
"Him."
"Or you but I need my life to be complete and it has never been that, Tyson. All of you have someone, Tyse. Even you have someone again after Samantha. You found Mallory and she's incredible. I love her… she, I can even talk to her; Tyse she's helped me with all this stuff even. I just need that companionship too. Giving you this chance Tyson, never happen again, never ask again and you can't hate me or him if you turn me away again."
"Mallory knows, he know you're doing this?"
"They know I have to, we have to choose."
"She never said anything. You'll leave me then."
"No! We are us and always will be. He'll have his partner for work, and me you. But you can't come between us. I never Tyson in all these years ever tried to drive a wedge between you and Samantha for my own gain. You know that, you owe me that much."
"You said never consensually."
"I did."
"Not with him?"
"No, Tyse. It's been a difficult path."
"Seems most all the paths you pick are, Ellie."
Elliot grinned, reached up and cupped Tyson's scarred cheek in his palm. He brushed his thumb across the old wound and sighed. He'd suffered with Tyson every day of the long recovery and the memory of the awful explosion chased him awake multiple times a month.
"I guess, picked you didn't I, you big son of a bitch. So if for no other reason can't you just give me this, just once so I know I tried? No strings, just me and you and the rest of the world be damned."
Tyson looked up and over Elliot's head across the now darkened caldera. His voice had deepened a bit, become husky. Salem did that at times. Pitched his voice lower when confronted with a situation he needed to control. It was an odd quirk that Rios and the team had often made fun of the younger man for but Tyson understood its intent. It was a subtle way for Elliot to push aside the playful immature persona he typically showed and come across as seeming older and more authoritative.
Elliot's thumb slipped down and brushed lightly across his lips and Rios tried to ignore the goose bumps skittering down his spine. They were getting so old. Everything about their lives was getting old. So many years and trials and so much pain and fear; how wrong would it be to just share some peace. If it gave Elliot the closure he needed to obtain some joy after a life of hardship what right did he have to deny the man?
Salem had spoken the truth earlier. If Rios had proposed they shared an intimate encounter, Elliot despite all the wrongs perpetrated against him in the prison and by his father and the fear those memories held for him, would never have denied Tyson his wish. Louisiana had changed Salem; he'd come away from the experience more mature, more settled, resolute and possibly sadly somewhat more fatalistic. So maybe this was just another example of Elliot finally growing up.
"And after, what if it's good, if we choose us; what about him, about Mallory?"
"They're prepared for that. They're smart enough to know if we go that route then we'd have never really been theirs anyway. Words and promises are empty without this, Tyson."
Elliot reach out again and placed his palm over the older man's heart then continued.
"They know that without seeing this through, Tyse, we would never be absolutely sure where our hearts lie. He's waited nearly twelve years Tyse; it's not right. I'm not a boy, Tyse, never was really but for years seems like you treated me that way. I'm grown. I have needs I…"
"We'll still be partners?"
"Yea, don't think I have ever heard you sound so unsure of yourself Tyse; that scares me. Don't scare me. My Rios, always my Rios. I just need a life outside of this job. I need someone to go home to. I need love Tyson, above what you've offered. This is it. I won't ever ask again. So if anywhere in that great heart a yours you have doubts now's the time to sort them out. It's you or him. I have to choose, Tyson. I'm dying a slow and lonely death. I need, need… finally need someone that's mine in body and mind, not just someone who, even if they love me with all of their heart, only has my six. Can't you understand that?"
Rios did understand it. Truth be told he did think about the night in Vegas, thought about it fairly frequently really. He tried to placate himself by rationalizing that any physical relationship between them would weaken them as a team. That it would add another level of heightened emotionality into their already explosive partnership and that, that added baggage would be their undoing. He'd done his fair share of talking with Giddy, Alice, the therapist and recently Mallory about how entwined him and Elliot were. All agreed that if Elliot lost Rios in battle that the younger man would be a complete mess. So for Rios it buoyed his theory. To enter into a sexual relationship couldn't be good, would only draw Salem that much farther into his heart and only make losing him that much more tragic.
Conversely there was a small part of him that wondered. He'd awoken on countless nights after Vegas, sweaty and painfully aroused with the fleeting memory of seeing Elliot engaged with his girl and in the throes of climax of feeling his coarse hands exploring his body. He could distinctly recall how Elliot tasted when they were kissing. The dream embarrassed him, made him feel guilty and normally he'd resist the urge to quench the sleep born desire but there were times, too many to count now, that he'd given in to them. Times where he did play back Vegas in his mind and secretly wish he hadn't stopped Elliot's advances. He was unsure what those dreams made him. Giddy had suggested he was latently bi-sexual. Rios played the theory down. He didn't think about men that way. He didn't really think about Elliot that way. But again and again Vegas would sneak in and make him doubt himself.
"Elliot, why would doing this help you, us to choose? I think you chose a long time ago. I think if you had seen him first that day he'd be sitting here or you there and our lives would be radically different. I know about Transference. I've talked to doc Odell too. I don't want to sound mad. You, you're coming on to me Salem and it's fucked up somehow. I don't know. How exactly will doing this help? All it does is scare the fuck outta me man.
You want the truth, yea Salem I fucking think about Vegas and yea I wish I'd let you do whatever it was you had planned. Ok, there I said it. But I'm gonna die someday, Elliot. I'm gonna catch a bullet and you're gonna be left behind. You are already so hopelessly tangled up in my heart and soul that god damn it Salem if we get into this it's only going to make that pain that much more devastating for you! I'm trying to protect you. Salem can't you see that?"
"Stop."
Elliot pressed his right index finger against Rios' trembling lips, and then cupped his cheeks between his calloused palms.
"You can't protect me from this, Tyse. It's gonna be us or me and him. I need this. I need to feel, Tyse. I'm sick and tired of feeling dead and alone inside. Maybe I'm doing this to clear my way, but maybe Tyson I'm doing it so you can clear yours. Maybe I did choose him way back then, for this part of my life, but funny thing is Rios; I'm ok with that now. What's not ok is that you still haven't chosen and before I commit I need to know where your heart is in this 'cause you come first. You'll always come first.
Oh and yea, I have a newsflash for you; you die and I'm dead before you grow cold. It's gonna be game over for Salem 'cause I ain't got anybody else and your heart is my heart, it stops beating and mine stops. I'll slam a round into my skull and drop right there with you. I decided that a long, long time ago, Tyson. Us closing the deal ain't going to change that fact, Tyse."
"And if you choose him and I die?"
"I honestly don't know. Guess he'll play hell keeping me alive if I manage to crawl to extraction. He'll just have to watch me sit in a corner and drool until he puts a bullet in my brain outta mercy."
Tyson pulled free from Elliot's hands and leaned back heavily in his chair for a bit. Then he sighed, sat back up and looked down into Elliot's bright eyes. He'd sobered some during the conversation and Rios figured whatever was going to occur they'd not be able to blame on drinking. He saw the child there, he saw the man, he saw a comrade and friend and sometimes foe. He saw desire, and the need Elliot had gone on about. He saw all of it at once; the many distinct facets of Elliot Nicholas Salem all spiraling round in those hopeful hazel orbs. Like an uncut diamond slowly being chipped facet by facet into a beautiful gem. He knew suddenly that this wasn't about Elliot simply wanting to fuck. It was so much more. Tyson swallowed then reached out and ran his thick fingers through Elliot's wayward bangs brushing them back toward his left ear. He didn't consider himself a prude and god knew he'd had some pretty vivid dreams about Vegas that pretty much proved it.
"You know Giddy, he said I was a latent bi-sexual. That that latency would cause more grief between us than just giving in to our feelings."
Elliot started laughing. Deep belly laughs a huge smile spread across his flushed face.
"What? Why's that so funny? This laughing's not helping, Salem. It's not funny and he's no shrink, so what's he know anyway."
Salem cut his laughter off short and tried to make his face serious again but a slight smirk remained and Rios basked in it. It was Salem, Salem at his finest.
"No, you're right Boss, no not funny. No but I don't know what is funnier though, that you actually talked to him about us or that he thinks your bi. Oh and Rios not latent, no latency more like dormant, like my volcano here, more like dormancy. I can see need written all over your face, Tyse. I knew it that night in Vegas."
Tyson smiled and continued to brush through Elliot's hair and study his eyes. Once he'd quit laughing his voice turned deep and husky again, deeper than Tyson had ever heard it. Desire maybe, he could only guess. The comedian was gone and now Salem was perfectly still, a trait Rios had always admired in the usually fidgety man. When he needed to Elliot could freeze and wait indefinitely with only the very barest hint that he was breathing giving him away. It was a trait any hunter or in Salem's case sniper needed and would envy. Seeing Salem in this mode Rios knew that made him the prey. That was what frightened him. Elliot got what he hunted, Elliot didn't miss. Elliot too familiar with him read his thoughts.
"What are you so afraid of, Tyse?"
When Tyson didn't respond he pressed the big man.
"More afraid that you'll lose me or that you'll choose me?"
"Neither."
He cupped Elliot's left cheek in his palm and stroked his thumb across his weathered lips while continuing to brush through his hair, never taking his eyes from Salem's. If they were going to do this thing then Rios was going to lead the way. He was their leader that would never change. He felt that if he controlled the moment maybe he'd be able to relax a bit more. It wasn't as if Salem had any more intell on how to proceed than he did. This was a situation where they were both equally ill prepared.
"Know what you're doing?"
"Nope, you Elliot?"
"Just feeling, Tyse."
"I can see that. Never, Salem? Never 'cause you wanted to. No more lies."
"Never."
"Shouldn't he be…"
"The first? No doesn't matter. You'll always be first. He knows that."
Rios took a breath, reached out with his left hand and pressed his fingers delicately against Elliot's neck searching for a pulse. Usually the act was done in a state of controlled panic but this time Tyson did it almost reverently.
"Heart's pounding, Ellie."
Salem reached over and mimicked the action on Tyson's throat.
"Yours too."
"Got a plan?"
"Despite the less than glamorous methods I learned them by, I've been told I am good at a thing or two."
"Christ, do not remind me of that stuff right now."
"Ok. Your turn then."
Rios looked down at him and grinned. His turn indeed.
After Rios granted Salem's desire in grand but awkward fashion and they'd settled in he drew the smaller man close and kissed the top of his head chastely.
"You love him Ellie, go and be happy, I'll always be here you know that."
"You hate him."
"No, just don't get your attraction. But then again you never understood mine for Sam."
"He's a damn sight better than Samantha!" Elliot spat out shooting off the bed and banging his head hard on the ceiling of the sleeping nook.
"Fuck me!"
Rios chuckled.
"I just did."
"Fuck you!"
Salem was of course correct and he knew he needed to agree despite how much it hurt.
"Come back here; come on man."
Salem returned to the bed crawled over Tyson and settled in along the wall and glared at the bigger man.
"What?"
"And yes he is Ellie, he is better far better. And I am glad for you. And Mallory too she's better than Sam and you were right it's fucking high time we just live a little."
"Sleep first, Tyse?"
"Agreed."
A while later just after Tyson had managed to doze off Salem woke him.
"Yo, Tyse."
"Isn't that my game, Kermit?"
"Yea, but Tyse…you fuckin' shoot my fridge and I'll end you, you fat fucker. She's mine and she's a beautiful thing."
"Okay Elliot okay. She's a bit of a square, and a bit shocking at times but I'm guessing with the right coaxing she might come round."
"Good, just so we see eye to eye."
Tyson sighed, reached out and stroked his fingers through Elliot's hair again. Then he stretched his arm out, dragged him into a firm embrace and leaned up over his right ear.
"I love you. I always have and will. And Mallory be damned, my door will always be open, Ellie. Understand?"
"Roger that, and if you don't mind, Salem out."