Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi. I do, however, own the character Jace. I AM SO SORRY, I CREATED AN OC. FORGIVE ME. He was very vital to this story. Eli had to get Ipecac somewhere... Also, the title belongs to Eli. Or rather, I got the idea for the title from Eli...

Okay so. This is Eli's feelings towards the whole "when we have sex" thing with Clare that Fitz said to him. And my take on where he got the poison in All Falls Down (1). Don't hurt me. I just wanted to write something, and this episode gave me the inspiration I needed. :D Please don't kill my OC, he really is innocent. And I sorta gave him a backstory. I don't like random out-of-nowhere characters that get a three second cameo and it's like, "Cool." Nah. Not my style. Personally, I don't like including OC's in my stories. Nothing wrong with it, but I'm weird.

Also, this is a ONESHOT. Got it memorized? It is specifically Eli's feelings about the sex thing. So no continuations, no matter how much you wanna kill me after this. Honestly, I would rather wait til tomorrow to see what happens at the dance. I don't want to write it myself, lol. It is 4am and I am so lazy.

Holy long author's note, Batman! Sorry! I hope you enjoy this!

AN OSTRICH DIDN'T START THIS WAR

I was going to let it go. Well, I was trying, at least. Her smile was so reassuring. I trusted her. It was Fitz I didn't trust. But Clare was smart...she could outsmart him any day. Outwit him, even. She was doing this for me. If she didn't know what she was doing, she wouldn't do it...right? She has to have a plan. Otherwise her smile just now wouldn't have been so real, so beautiful. It would have been forced. Worried. But her eyes sparkled, bright blue sapphires peering into my soul, begging me to trust her. And I did.

But I needed a backup plan. Just in case.

But then I saw him. That asshole. Looking as smug as ever, laughing with his friends- the friends that were probably only his friends because they were scared of him; he couldn't have real friends, Cavemen probably couldn't even contemplate what 'friend' meant. Oh, wait. Calling him a caveman was insulting to cavemen. They could create fire, whereas Fitz couldn't even sharpen a pencil with an electric sharpener. If I wasn't so pissed off, I would have laughed. But thinking about it now...

I tightened my grip on my bag's strap and roughly pushed the door open. "You're a big man, Fitzy. Using Clare to get back at me?" It was hard, so hard, to keep myself from punching him. But I promised Clare- all the time- that I wouldn't resort to violence. And I intended on keeping that promise.

He shrugged, "The girl came to me, man. I guess she's looking for a boyfriend that wears less eye makeup than she does." His friends laughed and I could literally feel my blood boiling.

I scoffed, not humored at all by this. "You hurt her and-"

"And you'll what, tough guy?" He was in my face before I could get another word in. I couldn't bring myself to say anything. If I threaten him he could just shove it back in my face. No violence, Eli. Just breathe... But I couldn't let him win. "That's what I thought." He didn't wait for a response, just started walking. And to be honest...I was glad. Had he stayed I might have killed him. And then Clare would never forgive me. But of course, nothing ever goes my way.

He turned back to me, for that last killing shot. "But don't you worry," I wanted to punch that smirk off his face, "when we have sex," if possible that smirk got wider and my stomach dropped, a sick feeling boiling inside, "I'll be gentle." I was frozen, couldn't move except when I almost lost balance and leaned on the railing for support. That disgusting piece of shit, Mark fucking Fitzgerald, wanted to have sex with Clare. My Clare. Said when we have sex. How the fuck do you think I'm supposed to react to that?

I'll be gentle.

My breathing sped up, fists clenched tight. I was shaking. Fucking shaking. He was going to touch Clare... Not even just take her to the fucking Night in Vegas shit. He was going to have sex with Clare. If it was just the dance, with no ulterior motives (although I should have fucking known with that dick that there would always be ulterior motives), I might have been okay. It would suck, majorly, watching her dance with that garbage. That asshole. Bully. But have sex with her?

Don't you worry.

I wanted to break something. Namely Fitz's face. Smash it into the glass doors a couple times. Knee him where it really counts. But Adam had already done that. When Adam did it, it was poetic justice; like he was specifically doing a shoutout to me. But if I did it, I'd be copying Adam. No...that wouldn't do. I needed tactic. Something purely Eli Goldsworthy. Something that hasn't been done in Degrassi, the school with a reputation, before. Something that will get him away from Clare long enough so I could steal the rest of the night and spend it with her.

When we have sex...I'll be gentle.

No one touches Clare, let alone thinks about her. Not when I'm concerned. I staked my claim today, when I kissed her. Left her breathless. She became mine the second her mouth opened for me. She's beautiful with shock painted on her face. She's beautiful with any emotion painted on her face. But my favorite emotion on her...would have to be determination. When she was determined to save me, she was beautiful. When she was determined to get an answer out of me about Julia...she was beautiful. When she's determined to win an argument with me. Clare Edwards is the definition of beautiful. No girl could compare. And Fitz was trying to steal that away from me. Fitz was trying to claim the second girl in my life (evidently the only girl in my life now) that was able to yank some sort of emotion out of me.

Fitz wanted my Clare. And I wasn't going to back down.

It wasn't easy, getting the Ipecac. No pharmacies sell it anymore. In fact, nowhere sold it anymore. But there were few that did, and I am not proud to know of them...but it doesn't change the fact that I do. And it also doesn't change the fact that it comes in handy for this situation; the very situation that I wish my girlfriend wasn't in. If she'd only let me handle this...

I had to calm my breathing. Thinking about someone else with Clare...someone else touching Clare, dancing with Clare...someone else that Clare even directed a smile to. The very thought made me sick to my stomach, like I was the one that took the Ipecac.

I've had my share of friends in the whole dealing scene. Went through a phase, after I lost Julia. I needed something to distract me from all the places I passed, knowing that Julia had been there before, knowing that Julia would never go there again. But when my parents announced that I'd be moving to a completely different town- and not with them, mind you, with my grandfather instead- I decided it was time to clean up. I didn't need to be numb anymore. I would be moving on, starting anew. Thinking, hey, Degrassi should be good, and my first day there was great, because I'd met Blue Eyes. But right now...I wasn't more scared in my life. I thought I was scared when Julia got on her bike in the night, terrified and somehow knowing that I'd lose her. But now, knowing that I might lose Clare- not even to death!- to a stupid bully...I was completely terrified. Scared out of my wits. Speechless.

And I decided that I would do anything to save her.

I sent a quick text message, knowing that in the half hour it took me to get there, he'd have it for me already.

Jace it's Eli. You got any Ipecac?

It was only a minute until, What the fuck, am I talking to a ghost?

I couldn't help but smirk, but quickly sobered up. My fingers flew across the keypad and without checking it, I hit SEND, a quiet sigh puffing from my lips. I grabbed my keys from my pocket and headed towards Morty, not even bothering to wait for a response. He'll already be on his way to get it for me. Before Adam, Jace and I had each other's backs. Even before Julia. He was the one who introduced us. It had sucked saying goodbye to him...but when you're trying to move forward and forget the past, you have to leave everything behind. And Jace just so happened to be one of the things I had to leave behind. But I do regret it.

Not to mention the fact that he was Julia's older brother.

Yeah, the Ghost of Christmas Past. See you in a half hour.

"Hey asshole," a familiar voice called from behind me and I smirked, ducking to the left knowing he'd attack from the right. As always, I was correct. I swiftly turned to my right, anticipating his next move and had him in a headlock before he could get a single move in. This kid here was where I learned everything. Too bad I didn't get his coolness from him. In any situation he was calm as could be, no matter what was going on. But me...I lost my cool too easily.

But he still couldn't beat me in a fight.

When he begged for mercy I finally let him go and gave him a once over. "Pink hair? Really?" I would have been disgusted, had it been anyone but Jace. He shrugged and kicked at the ground. "Whatever. It's your choice," I muttered, then shook my head. "How much? I'm pressed for time."

"Ouch!" he grinned, hand over his heart as if I severely injured him. Now, he was where my sarcasm came from. "I haven't seen you in a little over a year, you make fun of my hair, then be as cold as ever. I'm wounded, Elijah. Seriously wounded." But that grin never left his face. I rolled my eyes, deciding to let the 'Elijah' thing go. Just this once. Next time he won't be so lucky.

"Alright, alright," I sighed. "I'll come back," I paused, kicking at a rock real quick before continuing, "after I save my girlfriend from this disgusting bully."

His mouth dropped open in what I could assume was shock. "Okay man," he said, once he could form coherent words, "first of all...you have a girlfriend?" He laughed. "You, Elijah fucking Goldsworthy, goth extraordinaire, boy who said he would never- and I mean never- love again, oh woe is me, Elijah, has...a girlfriend?" He wriggled his eyebrows suggestively. "Is she goth? Green hair? Does she live in a swamp? Details!" I was almost disgusted. He hadn't changed, not in the slightest.

"Jace..."

"No, no, no! I'm intrigued! Little Goldsworthy's in love."

"I'm not in lo-"

He cut me off, "Kid, you're in love. You wouldn't date another girl if you didn't love her," his tone was serious, finally.

He was right, completely. I was in love with Clare. After much struggle, I'd finally admitted it to myself. But that doesn't change the fact that I need to get to Clare's house before the dance. The girls were getting ready and I needed to give her the bottle before they left. It was imperative and, frankly, the only way to save her right now. Before Fitz stole from her the most important thing to her.

Jace must have sensed my seriousness because his grin dropped and he sighed. Pulling a paper bag from his sweatshirt pocket, he handed me it. "Get outta here. Save your little damsel in distress," he said, grin lighting his face once again. "And get your skinnyjeans clad ass over here when you're done."

"How much?"

He snickered. "Don't worry about it. Call it...me buying you a drink of congratulations for finally moving on."

I stood there, awestruck for a moment. Without thinking, I pulled him in for a hug. He'd always been like a brother to me, and I guess that was going to stick forever. I was going to come back. It wouldn't be hard anymore, knowing that I had someone to call my own, someone who loved me...someone who wasn't going to die unless it's by my side, many years from now. "Thanks Jace," I said, pulling away. "Next time I see you, it won't be for poison that makes bullies barf." He laughed at that and I made my way back towards Morty. As I drove off I caught him waving in the rearview mirror. A smirk danced along my face and I turned the corner.

I went right to Clare's house and rang the doorbell, no hesitation. Jenna, of all people, answered. "Ah, speak of the devil," she smirked at Clare and I raised an eyebrow. They must have been talking about me.

I stepped in and looked over at her. Beautiful as always, and thank whatever god there was that she wasn't going for sexy for Fitz. He wouldn't even let her walk into the dance. He'd take her to the side of the building and... Don't think about that, Eli. Think about getting her to poison him.

"Hey," I said and she stood. I was hurting her, I knew.

She replied, "Hey." The small smile on her face almost made me change my mind. Almost made me say Fuck it and bring her with me to meet Jace. Keep her away from the dance and show her that I could be the bigger man. But this needed to be done. I wanted Fitz to suffer...and most importantly, I wanted to be the one to take her to the dance.

I looked away. "Can I talk to you outside?"

"Yeah, sure," she was hesitant, but followed me nonetheless. I shut the door behind me.

I didn't wait, just went right to it. I pulled the bottle from my pocket and showed it to her. "It's Ipecac," I said, smirking. "Makes people barf."

She eyed the bottle for a moment, arms crossed, before smiling inhumorously. "Most guys just buy flowers." She wasn't going for it, but damn it, I needed to try.

"I want you to slip it into Fitz's drink."

I tried not to look disappointed when her unamused smile fell. I needed her to do this. I can't leave her with Fitz. He was dangerous, and she was defenseless. Fitz said he would never hit a girl; it was his excuse for not hurting Adam. But he could easily overpower Clare and take her virginity unwillingly. I hated the term rape but...people like him are the kind that resort to that sort of thing. And it disgusted me. I didn't want that to happen to my innocent, sweet, beautiful Clare.

I'll be gentle.

Every time I thought about it I wanted to do something worse than give him a poison that will make him throw up.

"What happened to being the bigger man?" Fuck, she could barely look at me. I get it. She just wanted this feud to end but...when Fitz threatens to take away her purity...

"I can't," I said, voice quiet. It hurt, knowing what he could do to her. "Not anymore."

She shook her head, annoyed. "Because?"

"Don't be naïve!" I was getting annoyed. I hated getting annoyed at her, I just...I was terrified. "Fitz is a bad guy," I paused. I didn't want to say what was next because I didn't want the thought to become a reality. But maybe it will scare her; scare her to know what that filthy Neanderthal has planned for her tonight. My voice dropped, "He wants to have sex with you."

She was quick to respond. "Oh! Then you're right," she said sarcastically and I resisted the urge to shake some sense into her. "The appropriate response is to poison him!"

"I told you!" I countered, holding back still. "This is how you control bullies. Keep them scared."

"Do you know who also uses those tactics?" she asked softly. She was disappointed in me, I could see it in her eyes. I was losing her anyway. And it made me feel as if something was squeezing every last beat from my heart, stopping it, and effectively cutting off my oxygen flow to add on to the pain. "Terrorists."

I scoffed, "I don't understand. Whose side are you on?"

"I'm not sure," I could hear it in her voice, in the way her heart sped up, she wanted to cry. This was hurting her as much as it was hurting me. Her eyes landed on the bottle of Ipecac and mine followed. She looked back up at me and that inhumorous smile was back, breaking my heart the rest of the way. "But I know it's not the side that poisons people."

Without giving me a chance to respond she walked away with my heart in her hands...and I couldn't breathe anymore.

Reviews are lovely. :3

Also, reminder: THIS IS A ONESHOT. Thank you. Good day.