This is my thoughts on Sam hours after the Break up between her and Freddie!:D
Sam sat on the purple bean bag in the iCarly studio motionless, staring blankly at the monitor, which after a series of unfortunate and ironic TV programming with the film networks the break up, the music channel love song marathon, and even the food network showing how to make a meal for that special someone, had been turned off forcing the room in to blackness.
Pulling her phone from her pocket her clock ticked over to 5:18. Just over 5 hours ago she had broken up with Freddie Benson. Nearly 7 hours ago she had finally heard the words she had wanted to hear for 2 years "I Love You" and she finally had the chance to reciprocate them.
But that speech, that stupid speech, a speech not even intended for them to hear and yet fit ever so perfectly. Carly screamed the concerns Sam had fought with for the past 2 years. That the chemistry and sparks she felt when ever she saw him or touched him, all the reasons she fell so hard for the nub, was all because she was taking something and trying to force it. Make something or nothing. That fear, the fear that it didn't really exist outside her fantasy was why she never told Freddie until the lock in, why for 2 years she hid all of her emotions except the hatred she had for him the contempt at the fact he didn't love her back, that their relationship was so screwed up it made it impossible for them to be anything more!
And then came the lock in, for a week she had been...off, she had tried to change there relationship their friendship just to give herself a chance at something more. She finally put herself out on the line. And a stunned silence be-stood her. Her greatest fear confirmed, he didn't love her back.
It took 4 days after that to finally get Sam back, for Freddie to convince her they could work, And although all her hesitations and fears remained glued firmly in the back of her mind they appeared hidden by her happiness and love for the nub. She had finally gotten something. Finally had someone who cared.
2 months they were together. 2 months of arguments; nothing different, Make ups and make outs, and the doubts were finally beginning to dissipate, until Carly told them they needed to have some interests in common, and despite the fact they were working fine, Sam couldn't help but agree.
Now, she sat on the bean bag chair in silence and darkness, wishing she hadn't. After being kicked out of 2 places, the geeky train club and prison. Sam, at the time, couldn't help but feel they had lacked somewhere in there relationship. But sitting here now she couldn't help but think of there similarities, wonder why they hadn't gone fencing, or taken an MMA fighting class, heck AV club; Sam was a lot better with technology than people would think.
But after Carly's speech Sam knew that if she didn't end it now she faced being even more hurt in the future. So pressing the emergency stop button, she essentially froze time. She forced the world to stop around them while they decided their future.
She knew how it would end. She didn't intend on allowing him to convince her to stay, that they could make it work, that Carly's speech meant nothing to them, because honestly it was...
It was filled with words she had longed to say to the couple. She had already tried to break them up, sure she had got them back together but Sam could never shake the feeling it was more to benefit Carly. Carly had expressed concerns before about how if they broke up it could affect iCarly, or make it awkward with in the trio, and that maybe Carly stopped the break up in order to stop her own guilt and prevent a collapse in her perfect world.
Sam pulled out her phone 5:30, exactly 7 hours ago and yet the words still rang in her head "I love You" an exact shadowing of there "I Hate You" speech on the fire escape, almost as if it was scripted. She began to walk away and Freddie called her back, but this time she felt her heart drop, the 3 words she wanted nothing more to hear, were now the last. She had to take a deep breathe before slowly turning and despite knowing it would make there break up harder, she needed him to know she really did care. She really did love him.
She wouldn't cry, Sam was a Puckett, and Pucketts don't cry. She would do what she had done for years before hand. Hide it. Pretend it didn't exist. Go back to there same old game, but maybe she would try to be a little more normal.
6:00 Carly would be waking up about now, and it was Sam's duty to talk to her. Hours of going over her relationship, the mistakes and the good times, she wasn't sure if she could convince herself the break up was for the best, let alone her best friend, but as Carly wondered into the studio she smiled to see the blonde lying in the beanbag
"Morning, what are you doing her? I didn't see you and Freddie leave last night" Carly chirped
Taking in a deep breath she braced herself. "Yeah, about that. Look We...I broke up with him"
Carly froze. Stunned "What!. Oh come on what did he do now, refuse to give you bacon, come on, we'll go over there now and sort this all out" Carly laughed
Her laughter only angered Sam though, she had lost the love of her life, because of something her best friend said, which she can never know; It would kill Carly, and she was laughing. "No Carly!" she had said it louder than intended "It's not over Bacon, the fact is we have nothing in common, we just don't click that way and I told him that, so just leave it ok" her aggression, was to conceal her pain, the whole in her heart sucking in all emotions.
"No, it's not ok! You can't just break up with him! What about iCarly!" It was like she didn't understand her pain. Didn't understand she had spend 6 hours just thinking about 3 words.
"Do you know what, somethings are more important than iCarly and the fact is I broke it off nicely, no yelling or arguments. Just deal with it Carls. It's over." and it really was. Sam had to accept it was really over. That she didn't have Freddie anymore. She didn't have his safeness, and that once again she didn't have someone who put her before Carly.
"Fine." was all Carly could say before she left, and once again Sam was left in the room on her own, collapsing back on to the bean bag Sam returned to staring motionlessly at the monitor, thinking, that maybe not forever, but for the meantime. It was really over
Since iOpen a Restaurant I'm in such a depressive mood!:/