Masochist's Club
all characters property of Rumiko Takahashi and whoever she happens to work with
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"Ranma..." Ryouga asked one day, "Why is it that so many of you guys in Nerima instigate daily beatings from the women you love?" It was one of those rare days in Nerima when Ryouga managed to be in town. After landing in a nearby park—courtesy of AirAkane—and stumbling across a lost Ryouga, Ranma was generously leading Ryouga to the Ucchan. While he wasn't willing to take him to the Tendou dojo, Ranma WAS in a good enough mood to take him over to Ucchan's.
"Love? eh heh heh... What on earth are you talking about, Ryouga?" Ranma was awkwardly bigsweating as he led Ryouga through the park. "I don't love Akane. She's just an uncute macho tomboy who can't cook and can't fight." Unfortunately, he ruined the habitual insult by grinning goofily. "Boy...she'd be chasing me down the street with that mallet of hers if she could hear me..."
"Uh... right...and that's why you smile like a maniac whenever you talk about her and she can't see you... sure, Ranma." Although he didn't like to generally acknowledge it, Ryouga could in fact see that Ranma and Akane obviously loved each other. He of course hoped that both would grow out of what could POSSIBLY be deep and abiding infatuations...but he wasn't really a complete idiot about the feelings of Nerima's noisiest residents. "Well even it isn't YOUR situation...care to enlighten me on why Mousse, Tsubasa, Kuno, Mikado, Akane's Hentai Horde, and certain unnamed others get themselves thrashed everyday when they could easily avoid it? I mean, you all pretty much provoke the wrath of some the strongest women in town on a regular basis. WHY?"
Tilting his head up to stare at the sky, Ranma again broke out into giant smile. Ryouga glanced up to see what Ranma saw, then shook his head irritably upon realizing that Ranma was just reminiscing. Probably about his latest beating, Ryouga thought with confused annoyance, what a bunch of weirdo masochists.
"Well..." Ranma finally replied, "when I first got here, the guys let me in on a little secret of theirs. As you know, none of them can really engage Akane's affections...because she's a violent gorilla." He smirked at that and looked around excitedly for a moment, searching for someone. After a moment, he continued with a small sigh of disappointment. "Like you, I wondered why the Hentai Horde went through daily beatings by some thick thighed chick who didn't like them. And this is what THEY told me. For that one brief moment, the girl of your dreams is focused only on you. You ARE her world—the only thing that matters. She's actually chasing after YOU for once, wanting YOU. And in her eyes is this fiery passion...burning for you..." Ranma trailed off then with a dreamy look in his eyes.
"Wow...I never...I never really thought about it that way..." Ryouga was stunned. Stunned by Ranma's emotional words and even more so...by his wistful expression. "I guess I can see why you do it. For that kind of attention...I guess anything is worth it..."
"Woah woah woah," Ranma interrupted, "who said anything about me? I don't try to start ANY trouble with that tomboy. She's just such a stubborn ox of a girl who takes everything the wrong way and blames ME for it. It's not like I let Shampoo hang on to me for far too long just to get Akane's attention. It's not like I insult her just to see her eye's flash. Not ME, man. I was just saying that some guys around here are like that..."
"Whatever you say, Ranma," Ryouga muttered, somewhat lost in thought. They'd finally reached the Ucchan and Ryouga was getting distracted by the delicious smells of okonomiyaki wafting from the restaurant. He held open the door and turned to Ranma. "Are you coming in? My treat...you've been a big help...leading me here and all, you know?"
"Nah," Ranma was looking around searchingly again, "Akane's not around to see anyways. I should get home." With that he took off over the rooftops leaving the Lost Boy to his dinner.