A/N: Hello readers! This is my submission for the Mix & Match challenge on CCOAC. My chosen pairing is Dave and Emily, and the prompts given to me are: dog, rain, music and fire. This is a one-shot.
Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds or its characters.
Oh and one more helpful hint before you read: Tom Kohler is Emily's friend who is raising Declan. He is mentioned in "It Takes a Village" in season seven. I hope you enjoy!
The burning wood crackled and popped as Emily pushed the logs around the fire pit. As the flames leaped and danced once again, Emily settled back into her seat. She sat there for a few minutes in the silence of the night, not thinking, not worrying about her decision. Just staring at the orange wisps in front of her. They were mesmerizing, so Emily didn't even notice Dave come up behind her until a warm, cozy blanket was draped around her shoulders.
"I thought I might find you out here," he said as he sat down in the lawn chair next to her.
Emily didn't reply, she just pulled the soft material tightly around her freezing form. It was well past midnight and the pair were sitting in Dave's backyard, the only two remaining. They had had a barbeque; it was possibly their last time together as a family before Emily left for London. She was supposed to start her new job in a week. The whole team and their families were there; the kids spent most of the time running around while the adults lounged around. Derek brought his dog Clooney over, and even Strauss made an appearance. But they were all gone now, and Emily could finally drop the fake smile she had plastered on her face the entire night. Her cheeks were still sore from smiling.
"Having second thoughts, are we?" He attempted again at conversation.
Emily shrugged and kept her gaze locked on the flames. She knew that Dave wouldn't force her to talk, but she also knew that if she told him the truth, he wouldn't tell anybody else. He wouldn't tell her what she should or shouldn't do, just help her along with the decision. They sat in a peaceful silence for a while, Dave drinking the wine he had brought out, Emily keeping the fire blazing.
For the first time that night, Emily let her thoughts wander to what she had avoided thinking about. When Clyde had first offered her the job, she wasn't sure it was the right choice, but the more she thought about it, she realized that it was just what she needed. She wasn't the same person she had been when she returned home, she couldn't just pretend that everything was the same, because it wasn't. She had changed and the team had changed. She needed something different, and moving to London certainly was different. So she accepted the job, but now she wasn't so sure. It wasn't as easy as she thought it would be to move halfway around the world. Of course she knew it wouldn't be a picnic, she just didn't think it would be so damn hard to leave everyone again. In her mind, she knew that leaving would be vastly different this time; she could talk to the team on a daily basis if she chose to, she could return home for visits if their schedules permitted. But in her heart, she was still leaving again, she was leaving the people she loved and who loved her, she still felt like she was abandoning them. One of the things eating at her the most wasn't that she was abandoning the team again, it was that she was abandoning him.
"I can't do it, Dave. I can't leave him again, not after everything that's happened," Emily whispered.
Dave nodded, already understanding who she was talking about. Somehow he always knew.
"Have you talked to him yet?" he asked her, and took another sip of his wine.
"No," she admitted sadly. "I don't know what to tell him . . ."
"The truth," Dave suggested. "Just talk to him, see what he thinks."
Emily fell silent again as she thought. The fire was dying down again, but she didn't feel like fixing it this time. In all honesty, Emily was scared of what he would say, what he would think of her. They had become so much closer over the course of the last seven months and it broke her heart to leave him again.
"Have you thought about asking him to go with you?" he asked.
"I did, actually," Emily replied. "I even talked to Tom Kohler about it. But it wouldn't be fair for Declan. He has his friends and school here, and I don't want to disrupt his life anymore than it has been in the last year."
"I understand where you're coming from." Dave nodded. "But did you ever think that maybe Declan would want to go with you?"
"It crossed my mind," Emily mumbled.
She poked at the dying fire once more, but nothing really happened. More wood needed to be added but Emily didn't want to get up and get some.
"Is it just Declan whose causing these feelings, or is there more to it?" Dave asked knowingly.
Emily ignored the question, opting to get up and place new pieces of wood on the coals. After a few minutes, the logs caught fire and a bright orange blaze lit up the surrounding area. She knew that with the new found light, Dave was studying her. Emily tried her best to not look in his direction as she sat back down.
He silently offered her a glass of wine, but she refused; Emily needed to keep her head clear.
"I can't stay here anymore, but at the same time, I can't bare the thought of leaving again," Emily said quietly. "I love this job and you guys, I really do, but . . ." Emily shook her head, unable to finish her sentence.
"You can't do this job forever, Emily. No one can. At some point you need to take a break, take a step back and focus on something else." Dave replied.
"But I did that already, and I was miserable!" Emily said a bit louder than she had been talking before.
"Emily, you and I both know that those circumstances were completely different and you're just using that as an excuse. I can tell that you're miserable here too."
Emily opened her mouth to argue, but no words would come out. There was no point in arguing either. Dave always knew. She sighed and leaned in closer to the fire, feeling its warmth on her face. If she closed her eyes, she could almost pretend she was on a beach far, far away with the sun beating down on her. But she was sitting in Dave's backyard, in the middle of the night.
"You're right," she admitted quietly, with her eyes still closed.
Suddenly, a rumbled sounded from the sky, and a few moments later, a bright flash of lightening illuminated the area. Emily sat up in her chair and pulled the blanket around her shoulders once more, not that concerned about the impending rain.
"I guess that's my cue," Dave said as he rose from his seat. "I don't want to ruin my shoes." He was clearly hoping that his comment would put a small grin on Emily's face, but it did no such thing.
"I'll leave the patio door open for you; you can stay the night if you want, you know where the guest rooms are." He began to walk away as another clap of thunder rocked the ground. "You will come back here Emily. No matter how long you've been gone, you always do."
Dave disappeared into the sanction of his mansion, while Emily remained seated.
She thought about what he said before escaping the impending rain, and she knew that once again, Dave was right. She resigned early on in her career with the BAU, only to rejoin the team very shortly after. And then there was the whole Doyle fiasco; as soon as she had the chance, she accepted the offer from Strauss to rejoin the team. And there were other times when she thought about leaving, but she never seriously considered it. Emily knew that she would come back here some day, maybe not necessarily to the BAU, but back to where her family is. Though it didn't make the feeling in the pit of her stomach go away.
The wind picked up suddenly, causing the fire to blow around violently and the first few drops of rain fell. Emily contemplated getting up, but once again, the raging fire in the pit caught her attention. It was moving in every which way, trying to escape the wind and water. The rain poured down from the clouds, and Emily watched as the fire chocked, sputtered and died, leaving large puffs of thick smoke wafting up from the coals. Emily knew that if she didn't go to London, she would very well end up like the fire; holding on until the end, only to be smothered by her surroundings.