Title: Bats
Author: dawnangel14
Fandom: One Piece
Characters: Sanji, Zoro, Robin
Pairings: None.
Words: 699
Rating: K+
Summary: Zoro and Sanji go to a cave searching for Robin... much to Sanji's dismay, it's filled with disgusting things.
Note: Written for the comment_fic prompt "Author's choice, any, bats" at livejournal.

"Get them away from me!"

"You're such an idiot."

Zoro sighed. He knew the cook was afraid of spiders, moths and some other ugly insects, but he figured he would man up when it came to finding Robin, who had left on her own to explore this particular cavern and had yet to return. But this wasn't even about bugs, it was about...

"They're just bats, curly brow" commented Zoro, ignoring the creatures that slept on the ceiling, upside down. "Stop being such a stupid girl."

"What did you say, shitty marimo?" roared Sanji, fear momentarily forgotten to insult his companion.

"Don't yell, you'll wake them up" he replied, pointing at the ceiling. "I'm surprised your girly screams didn't do the job yet, though."

Sanji was about to reply, but he had heard what the swordsman had said and decided it wasn't on his best interest to wake up the bats, which were already quite creepy asleep.

Trying to ignore the creatures and thinking only about the beautiful archeologist that was surely waiting for him, her charming prince, to rescue her, Sanji kept walking, getting deeper and deeper into the cave. Zoro followed him, since Sanji's lighter was the only source of illumination, mumbling something about stupid, annoying, blonde cooks he couldn't quite catch.

They walked for five minutes. Sanji had to point Zoro on the right direction twice (how the hell could he get lost on a straight path?!) until the cook allowed him to go in front of him, that way it was less likely for him to get lost on the way.

"How much longer do we have to walk?" complained Zoro. "Damn, stupid woman."

"Don't you dare to talk about her like that!" snapped Sanji.

"What are you going to do about it?" taunted Zoro. "We can't risk waking up the bats, can we?"

"... I'm going to murder you, marimo."

"Go ahead, shitcook."

"Oh my, you two are lively as ever" sang a voice out of nowhere.

Robin materialized behind them, sneaky like a shadow, and in such a sudden manner that Zoro had already drawn a sword and Sanji had gotten into a fighting stance, already suspecting an enemy. As soon as they could tell it was an ally, they relaxed their posture, and Sanji hurried to make sure she was ok.

"Are you injured in any way? Are you feeling ok? Do I need to kick someone's ass?"

"Thanks for the concern, but I'm perfectly fine" Robin assured him. "I'm sorry for my delay, I entertained myself with a particular puzzle I found at the end of this cave. It didn't hold anything of interest, though."

"Oh, I'm sorry Robin-chan, but I'm sure you'll make it next time! Next time I'll be by your side to assist you!"

Zoro had a sudden cough attack that sounded suspiciously like 'pervert'.

"What was that, shitty swordsman?"

"Nothing of your interest, dartboard brow."

"In case you've forgotten, I'm not stupid, shithead..."

"Oh, well that's just news to me."

"That's it, you asked for it!"

"So did you..."

And with a smirk, Zoro picked up a heavy rock from the ground and threw it upwards. The ceiling shook slightly, but it was enough. The bats that had been sleeping peacefully were now awake, and all and every single one of them (which were way too many to count) unhooked themselves from the ceiling and flew away, towards the exit...

The pirate 'Black Leg' Sanji absolutely did not produce a high-pitched squeal when the bats passed by him. He most certainly didn't.

Zoro looked at him blankly, as if he couldn't believe what he just witnessed, while Robin chuckled, hiding her smile behind her thin hand.

"Well that was... uh, unexpected" blurted out the swordsman. "I knew you look like a chick, but scream like one too..."

"Die swordsman, die!" yelled the cook, attacking the swordsman in front of him.

"I'm heading back" informed Robin, walking casually towards the exit. "Please return too once you're done fighting"

And without waiting for a reply, as if she had grown bored of the situation, Robin exited the cave, ignoring the two men who were trying to murder each other.