Father,
I bet you never thought you'd be receiving a letter from anyone outside of the Ministry. Especially one from you son. I'm quite sure your not the least bit happy to receive this, either…you never were happy to hear from me, or see me in the first place, were you? Especially not now…
You went and got yourself locked up in Azkaban. If I had any say in the matter, you'd be in for your life. Twenty years isn't nearly enough for all the pain and suffering you brought to everyone. Do you remember, Father? I'm sure you do…Do you think they'd keep you longer if they knew what you did to Mother and I? Long nights of shouting and yelling, dark curses and cries of pain. You left us on the brink of dead revived us as we began to pray for death it would be better then the pain, before doing it over and over again.
Hey dad
I'm writing to you
Not to tell you
That I still hate you
Just to ask you
How you feel
And how we fell apart
How this fell apart
I can remember watching you from the doorway as you towered over Mother, watched as she withered beneath you in pain. You always laughed; you told her she was a good little wife. You fucked her in front of me…even as she begged you to stop. I watched, chained to the door as you cut her skin, laughing cold and menacingly…but I couldn't do anything. I was terrified…I was terrified of my own father!
I also bet you didn't know that you were once my hero? Growing up I trusted, loved, adored you. I looked up to you in everyway, and you used that trust to your advantage. I hung onto your every word…and I played right into your little plan.
You taught me how to hate. You taught me how to mask my emotions from the rest of the world, to hide them inside, until they ate me away from the inside out. But I never let them get to me, I told myself that this is how I'm supposed to be, that you like this me. And I never cried, you Father were the one who told me that crying was for the weak and I was that stupid as to believe you.
Are you happy out there
In this great wide world
Do you think about your sons
Do you miss your little girl
When you lay your head down
How do you sleep at night
Do you even wonder if we're alright
But we're alright
We're alright
My first year at Hogwarts came, and I couldn't wait. You told me, on the platform to befriend The-Boy-Who-Lived, and I tried…but I was too late. His so-called friends had already corrupted his mind, just like you corrupted mine. After this you told me to make the rest of his life a living hell, and then I did. You told me you were proud of me, and I basked in that knowledge…
Second year. The Chamber of Secrets was opened once again. I knew I had nothing to worry a bout, I'm a pureblooded Slytherin, and there was nothing for me to worry a bout. Then Mother sent me an owl telling me to behave. I was worried then, but I didn't put much thought into it. Then I over-heard Harry (A/N; See rest of letter.) talking to his friends. I listened, and then I heard your name…he said that you were the one who gave the book that led the Weaslette to the Chamber. I couldn't believe it…and do you remember when I asked you a bout it? You said you did, and then you laughed and said that you were quite disappointed that she hadn't died in the Chamber. That's when I started to doubt you, Father…but I never let you know.
Third year came. Sirius Black had escaped from Azkaban, and you had told me to lay low once more. I couldn't see why, I had overheard you talking to Severus a bout him, you had said you didn't know him, which I now know was true, and I couldn't see why I had anything to be worried a bout, but I obeyed. That stupid Hippogriff had attacked me, and when I told you, you merely smirked and walked away. I was shocked; you didn't even ask me if I was all right. I then got a letter from Mother telling me you had done all you could to have a trial taken upon it. I couldn't help but be joyed. I thought you might actually care for me! That you just didn't want to show me affection in front of Mother, I couldn't see why, but I didn't care. Then I found out Buckbeak was going to be executed…I couldn't understand why, but I fiend happy, and you tapped me on the shoulder and told me I did well.
It's been a long hard road without you by my side
Why weren't you there the nights that we cried
You broke my mother's heart
You broke your children for life
It's not ok but we're alright
I remember the days you were a hero in my eyes
But those are just a long lost memory of mine
I spent so many years
Learning how to survive
Now I'm writing just to let you know
I'm still alive
Fourth year came. Do you remember? This was the year I lost trust in you completely. You brought me the Quidditch World Cup. I was ecstatic. I don't think I had ever been happier then the day you asked me to come along with you, and then you surprised me with tickets to the Cup, in the Minister's box, no less! It was a dream come true. Then that night…I learned that you were apart of the Death-Eater raid. I was terrified then, that was the time I began to see the major changes go through you. You were changing right before my eyes. Mother sent me another letter that year, she told me that you had beaten her, and I couldn't believe that. Until…The final task. I learned even though you never told me that you had been there that night, when Diggory died. With Voldemort. I began to hate you…
Fifth year came. That summer had changed everything. This is the year you tied me to the doorway and made me watched as you tortured mother in unspeakable ways. Just when I thought you would never stop you turned and faced me. You didn't look at all like yourself. You were smirking and then, in a flash of light I couldn't move. Pain, unspeakable pain was coursing through me. I couldn't even scream. I heard mother screaming at you, but you didn't listen to her. She was too weak to get up; this was the first time I'd ever cried, that I could remember. It hurt so badly…
Returning to Hogwarts was harder then I expected it to be. Nobody seemed to be happy to be back, especially Harry. He's usually all smiles, but I don't think I saw him smile at all that year. And I knew just how he felt. For the first time I could symphasize with him. The year passed with little to worry a bout, until the end of the year. Mother sent me a letter saying that you had been caught breaking into the Ministry. I laughed then. You'd gotten what you deserved.
Sixth year came. During the summer I had been forced to take the Dark Mark. He said he'd kill you and Mother. I didn't care a bout you…I just didn't want Mother hurt. She might not have been the best parent, but she was always there for me anyway. Much the opposite from you. . I took the mark, and I took the mission. To murder the best Head Master Hogwarts had ever, and would ever have. I didn't think much of you that year…I had nightmares of those nights of torture, and of Voldemort killing both of you. I hated it…and it made me work harder and harder. But I couldn't do it…Dumbledore didn't deserve it, and he said he would save me and Mother…but Severus interfered.
The days I spent
So cold, so hungry
Were full of hate
I was so angry
The scars run deep inside
This tattooed body
There's things I'll take
To my grave
But I'm ok
I'm ok
I didn't return to Hogwarts for my seventh year. I spent a lot of time in hiding, thinking a bout my past and all the mistakes I'd made. Falling under your control, not telling somebody…anybody a bout what you had done. Making Harry's life hell, trying to ruin everything for everyone. I no longer wanted to be known as 'Lucius Malfoy's Son' or 'The Too-Be Death Eater'. I wanted to make a name of myself; I wanted to be known just as 'Draco Malfoy'. And I have achieved that.
I'm not sure how much they tell you in Azkaban, but I was the one who helped to kill off Voldemort along side Harry. I led him to the Dark Lord, and backed him up when he needed it. Your phony Dark Lord is no longer, Father. I bet you didn't know that. Were you nervous when you didn't get help to try and escape from the prison? No Death Eaters came to help? I'm sire that made you feel much better,
It's been a long hard road without you by my side
Why weren't you there the nights that we cried
You broke my mother's heart
You broke your children for life
It's not ok but we're alright
I remember the days you were a hero in my eyes
But those are just a long lost memory of mine
Now I'm writing just to let you know
I'm still alive
And I'm still alive
…Mother's dead. She died after the war; she couldn't take it any longer. The pain and suffering, the thought that she didn't mean anything to you, which we both know is true. She fought in the war too, noone saw that one coming, and she did a great job. She knew the Dark Lord's hideout, thanks to you, and led us straight to them. Brave, she was.
But…there's more to this letter then rage and anger. Through this all…I find that I do miss you. You weren't a father too me, and I know it's completely out of whack, but I miss you. I hate it, I do. And I also know that you don't give a Hippogriff's arse when it comes to me, many things have made me realize that, but I do. I miss you.
Draco.
Draco waited for two weeks for a letter responce from the man he called his Father. He had begun to doubt wether Lucius even remebered him. He had heard from others, his aunt Belatrix mainly, that Azkaban didthat too you. Made you forget all the, once, good things in your life and he didn't doubt that fact at all. He'd been too Azkaban once, on a trip with his Mother before she did, and it was, for loss of bigger and better words, horriable.
As each owl flew to the home he shared withHarry Potter, surprise surprise...Draco had sold the Manor, their were too many bad memories in those halls andithad begun to drive him insane, He would hope deep in his heart that it was from his Father. He wanted to know how he felt, how he could sleep, how he could think rationally with all those things he didn't to innocent bystanders and his own 'family'. But they weren't for him, and if they were he tossed them aside on his desk most of them still remained sealed.
Sometimes I forget
Yeah, and this time
I'll admit that I miss you
Said I miss you
Then it had came.
A letter sealed by the 'Azkaban Seal'. He paid little attention to the seal as he ripped the envelope apart. The letter that came tumbling out was one he wished he never had too see.
Mr. Malfoy, I am quite saddened to be the one to tell you this, but last night your Father, Lucius (A/N; I don't know his middle name >.> If anyone knows, do tell me please!) Malfoy passed away at 2;23 AM. We have diagonesed that he fell to death during his sleep, quite peacefully. It has also been said that he died of grief and depression, something quite common to prisoners in Azkaban, as you know. I have sent this owl in hopes that you would come by, be as it may I know that you don't like to return here, because your Father left a parcel with your name on it and I'm quite sure you'd be better off seeing what it has to say. It would be best for you to come and retrieve this message on Thursday, I will be on a visit to talk to the Dementors and it will be easier for you to get with my assistance. That is all I wish to say through this letter, and I am sorry for your grief, Minister of Magic,
Cornelius Fudge (1.)
And that was why he was currenly, along side Harry, being led towards his father's old cell by a pair of Dementors, who by order we're keeping their distance ahead. The night he had recieved the letter, he had cried openly. Draco still cursed himself mentally for doing as so. His father was nothing to him, not anymore, but he hadn't been able to hold it in and he ended up crying late into the next morning.
He wasn't sure if it was for sorrow, but whatever it was had ate away with him until all of his muscles were sore.
Draco stopped as the Dementors stopped and opened up the empty cell. He nodded at the pair and they...'floated' off down the cooridor with a angry hiss. A small trail of coldness left behind. Harry had stayed a bit down the hall, Draco had asked him to give him a moment alone to see whateverhis Father had left back for him.He kept the linked doors openedinslackso it didn't lock behind him.
The room was dark and cold, and it was barely enough room for someone to sit down comfortably, but somehow their was enough room for a small bed and miniscule night-stand.On the nightstand, from the small light from the cooridor, he caught sight of a small piece of parchment.
It's been a long hard road without you by my side
Why weren't you there the nights that we cried
You broke my mother's heart
You broke your children for life
It's not ok but we're alright
He moved slowly towards the stand, his footsteps echoed through the room it was that quiet. Draco's heart began to pick up it's pace, it was rather nerve-wrecking. There in his father's hand-writing was 'Draco'. It wasn't folded, nor was it a large size of paper. He picked it up, and turned it over. Just like his name, two words were scribbled on the back.
I'm sorry.Draco stepped back, making a gentle and weary call for Harry to come over without peeling his gaze away from the parchment.
Harry came moments after he'd been called, stopping just behind Draco. "...Are you alright?" he asked, a edge of uncertainty within his voice.
"...Look at this." he turned to Harry and showed him the note. Harry seemed just as surprised as he was, by the way his eyes widened. "...Draco, is that really from Lucius?"
I remember the days you were a hero in my eyes
But those are just a long lost memory of mine
Now I'm writing just to let you know
I'm still alive
"It's in his hand-writing...Fudge told me it was from him as well..." Draco allowed his voice to trail off after this, and he soon felt Harry's arm around his shoulders in a comforting manner."Let's go..." he murmured after a moment, and Harry followed besides him into the hall. Draco tossed the now crinkled piece of paper back into the cell with one retreating look.
The pair we're nearly out of the hall when he stopped. "Wait...Harry." he sighed softly, wondering what had begun to possess him, "...I'm going to go and talk to Fudge...tell him I got the letter. I'll see you back at home."
Harry had frowned at him, but nodded all the same. Walking towards the staircases. Draco watched him as he disappeared from view, the only thing noting his presence was the distant sound of footsteps before he turned and headed back towards his Father's cell.
He had left the door slightly ajar and slowly passed through it once more. Draco knelt down besides the crinkled note, left sparkling in the low light and picked it up. He stared at it for what seemed like hours, and held it to his chest.
He sat their thinking a bout his letter, his Mother and Father, the nights of torture and pain, hatred and anger, and the steady feeling of sorrow.
Draco leant back against the nearest stone wall and looked around the cell, silent tears slipping from his pained staked face.
"Father..."
And sometimes I forget
This time I'll admit
That I miss you
I miss you
Hey dad
