AN: Random stuff. Don't blame me, my plot bunnies have been rung dry and need to recuperate. Inspired by looking over the number of Next Generation art and fics out there.
1) After reading the message from home, you excitedly announce to the common room that your cousin has been drafted into the national Quidditch team.
Your best friend looks at you blankly before asking "Which cousin?"
2) You recently opened a present on your birthday, looked at the card and went "Who's Auntie Loretta? I don't have a Cousin Mortimer-Vaughn! Do I? I don't remember their names, I thought you were!"
3) You can't keep a record of your seemingly continually spawning extended family without at some sort of tagging system or a really big dog trained to seek out their scent.
4) You're absolutely certain that if your grandmother proudly hangs another award on her wall, the entire Burrow will fall over sideways.
5) Even with a wall planner and a diary, it's still a statistic impossibility to remember who has a birthday/anniversary/special day when and where.
But it's virtual suicide if you forget.
6) With so many expectations to live up to, it's easier just to live down to a few.
7) After a full month of weddings for numerous nephews and nieces, you get halfway through the speech you've been bullied into doing at your sister's daughter's cousin's reception when you realise with horror that you've forgotten the names of the bride and groom.
8) You meet someone on the Wizarding Dating Network, and he's sweet and funny and clever and he buys you things and takes you places, and you seriously contemplate letting him get to third base.
But then you discover the one thing you have in common: Your uncle.
You seriously consider becoming celibate.
9) You have no shortage of strong, independent women who are willing to emasculate you at the slightest sign of rebellion against the status quo.
Remember: You are beaten. Lie down and accept defeat.