The last few weeks of her life, all she had tried to do was prepare him for this moment.
"You may loose both of us at the same time."
"Maybe today is all we have left. And maybe, just maybe, I've earned the right to live a little before I die."
"I love you."
He had been a fool, and he saw that now. She wanted him to be ready, to be prepared for this, but he had just pushed the thought aside.
"I'm not losing either of you."
"You came into my thoughts, you flooded them."
"About time."
Were there Gods on this planet? Was there some sort of higher-power watching over him? Over her? Over them? Curling up beside her grave, he does his best to keep his features schooled. Gods, did he miss her, and it hadn't even been a day yet.
How was he supposed to live on his own out here? How was he supposed to survive without the woman that started it all? She had brought the human race salvation, and he too, had found salvation in her arms.
He lets out a sad chuckle, reminded of their night on New Caprica. Laying with his arm draped across her grave, a foreign wind biting at his skin, and the stars twinkling above his head, he longed for that again. For the feeling of her in his arms, for the feeling of her body draped carelessly across his chest.
Finally allowing himself to cry, Bill manages to sob out, "You're my sine qua non, Laura. And I... I love you."
Gods, he hoped she knew that. More than anything, he hoped she knew that. He never told her that he loved her, and he felt like a frakking failure for it. She was everything to him, and he never bothered to tell her that he loved her.
"You're afraid of living alone." She says almost questioningly, watching as he pours himself a drink.
"And you're afraid to die that way."
That was before. Before the cancer returned, before she jumped away on that stupid frakking base ship. Before she told him she loved him.
And Bill Adama, in all his military glory, didn't say it back. Of course he loved her. Gods knew he loved her more than anything and everyone else in the entire frakking universe. She meant more to him than Galactica ever had. But now they were both gone, both unfairly taken away from him. If the Gods were real, what had he done to deserve this? To deserve something as painful as losing her? This Earth was all she had ever wanted, somewhere the fleet could call home, permanently.
She was so hell bent on finding it too, that she had nearly gotten herself killed. This place, it was what she had dreamed of, and she never got the chance to see it.
Her last words came back to him again, floating on a whisper through the wind, so much life. There was so much life here, but it wasn't a life worth living without her.
Shaking his head as a single tear escapes, "I love you Laura. Wait for me on that boat you talked about, okay? We'll see each other soon, I promise." He kisses one of the rocks above her head before closing his eyes, begging sleep to overtake him.
"Bill?" He hears her voice but doesn't open his eyes, allowing himself to get lost in this dream, "Gods, Bill!"
He sits up and looks around curiously, "Laura? Laura where are you?"
"I'm right here." He feels a gentle tug on his hand and looks up to find her looking healthy as ever, her natural hair framing her face in dark, curling tresses, a small smile tugging at her lips, "I miss you."
"I miss you too." Bill sighs, standing up slowly before pulling her flush against his chest, kissing her strongly, "I never told you how much I love you."
"It's alright Bill." She hums, wrapping her arms around his waist and nuzzling into his chest, "Sometimes, when you feel a love the way we did, you don't need to say it. We just knew."
"But..." He feels tears building up behind his eyelids again, "But I should've told you. I'm a frakking idiot." He lets out a deep breath.
Laura pulls out to look at him, his crystal blue eyes sparkling beneath the moonlight, "No, you're not. You're the man I love. The only one I'll ever love. Nothing will ever change that. I found my home with you."
"Gods, I love you!" He cups her cheeks and gently pulls her face up to his, meeting her with a strong kiss, "I love Laura Roslin!"
"Bill, stop it!" She laughs, sitting on the ground next to her grave, "You'll wake someone!"
He glances over at her, in a pair of jeans and a pink sweater she looks more stunning than he ever remembered, "I brought you here so it would be just us. There's no one around." He shoots her a look as if to say 'told you so' before exclaiming again, "I love Laura Roslin!"
"And I love Bill Adama!" She stifles a laugh, coming up next to him and intertwining their fingers. He feels the cold of the ring against his hand and involuntarily shudders.
"You kept the ring." He states surprised.
"Of course I kept the ring." She smiles, staring out into the valley, "The wig had to go, and those suits were getting old anyways." She pulls at the hem of her sweater, "This was one of my favorite sweaters back on Caprica."
"And here I am, still wearing my uniform. Pins and all." He chuckles, coming to stand behind her and wrapping his arms around her waist, "How am I supposed to do this without you?"
"You survived without me before, I know you can do it again." She says quietly, running her hands up and down his arms, "You can, Bill."
"Well, I don't want to." He places a kiss to the top of her head, lingering there as he breathed in a scent he thought he would never smell again, "It's not worth it without you, Laura."
"You're afraid to live alone." She reminisces, "I'll never forget how upset you were with me when I said that."
"You weren't wrong." He admits, "I'm afraid Laura."
"It's okay to be afraid." She turns in his arms, her own snaking up around his neck, "I don't ever think I've heard you say something like that. The legendary William Adama, Admiral of the Colonial Fleet, afraid to live on his own after years of solitude." She teases, cautiously looking up to meet his eyes, "You'll be alright, Bill."
"How do you know?" He asks, gently capturing her lips, "How can you be so sure?"
"I don't, and I'm not." She admits, a light and airy tone to her voice, "But you can't live like you're going to die. That's something you taught me. When the Cylons finally stopped jumping after us and we could all breathe," she hums, "we spent so much time living like we were already dead. You don't have to do that here."
"But-"
"No. No buts Bill." She responds, pressing a finger to his lips, "You can do this. You've been through far worse."
"That's not true." He pulls her into a hug, "Nothing hurts more than this. Not even losing Zak."
"I'm right here Bill." She whispers in his ear, "I'm right here."
"But it's not really you." He says sadly.
"My body is gone, and this may be a dream, but I'm still Laura Roslin."
"Hm." He shakes his head, "What am I supposed to do?"
"I'd like to see the stars they have here." She responds, tilting her head up, "When in New Caprica."
"When in New Caprica." He echoes as they both sit on the ground, their hands still laced together, "Have you seen the sun here yet?" He questions.
"No." She shakes her head, "I haven't. Is it nice?"
"Heavenly, almost." He smiles, "Can you stay that long? I think you'll enjoy it."
"Of course I'll stay." She giggles, resting her head on his shoulder, "I love you."
"I love you too." He whispers before his lips lightly graze hers, "Gods, I missed this."
"Me too." She smiles, "I'm not going to leave you Bill. Not now, not ever."
Sleeping alone beneath the stars, Laura's grave beside him, Bill Adama lets out a small smile. She was with him now, and they were together again. When he woke in the morning he would be heartbroken, but for now, even this little time with her was good enough.
If he slept, she would be with him again, and she'd be whole. She'd be his Laura again, and when he planted his lips on hers, he would tell her how much he loved her. And maybe, just maybe, he would never wake up.