Xtremly Scray - A My Immortal Parody

by Lullaby of Broadway

Warning - some of this parody is extremely goofy (and intentionally poorly written). Taking it seriously is not advisd, but viower excretion is. Please read the real My Immortal before reading this - otherwise it makes no sense. Rated T for stupidly written sex scenes and misspelled swears.

1. Chapter 1

XTREMLY SCRAY

Legitimate Author's Note: All of the following is done deliberately horribly. Flame all you want, I don't mind! Yes, I know My Immortal's ten years old – but it simply refuses to die. Just four months ago there was an article in Vulture about it and it has a continually active and expanding wiki. I doubt I'm the first to make a parody of this, but who cares?!(1111111) THERE MUST BE MORE! XTREMLY SCRAY is predominantly a parody of the laughably bad My Immortal, but there are also elements of the equally stupid "Forbiden Fruit – The Tempation of Edward Cullen" and My Immortal's sister fics "Ghost of You" and "I'm Not Okay". For the record, I don't own a lick of this – certainly not the Harry Potter characters/world/mythos, not the story, and hell, you can even take Hot Topic BloodRose. I am also a first class prep – pink and all. I know not a thing about My Chemical Romance or any such "goffic" band other than what My Immortal taught me. When I first read My Immortal, I fell over laughing repeatedly – boy do I love things that suck. In my spoof I take a look at the further reaching consequences of a Mary Sue like Ebony's actions as well as show an in-depth look at the psyches of preps and posers. I am using the same definitions of "preps" "posers" and "goths" as Tara does, and as a warning I will be spoofing Tara's casual homophobia and racism. I'm doing this because writing purposefully bad is just as hard as writing well and seriously. I'm also writing as a fake goth (as it is theorized Tara Gillespie was), so meet Storm Wolfsbane, Hot Topic BloodRose, and enjoy "XTREMLY SCRAY". Love, Amber.

AN: hi my nam is Storm Wolfsbane and i'm a super goth and this izz my fanfik, MCR ROXXXXXXXXXXX. 666!111 if ur a prepz or a posrrz then fuk uuuuu!1 Buffy yur my like a gf to me but not in a wired way! i luvvv u! Thanx (geddit, cuz i;m goffik).

666!11111111111111111111111111111111

My nme is Hot Topic Shadow Ra'ven Goffica Elvira Deathshade Dragona Corset Fis'hnet Exxorcist Samara Vampirica Eyeliner BiGuuyzz Demetria Satanista Misery Mikey Joel Gerard Shadow Kawaii Slytherina SixSixSix D'eady Shadow Dethstucchsin Shadow P'e'n't'a'g'r'a'm' Draculana Buffy BloodRose, but most pple cal me Hot Topic BloodRose. My fuking Muggle parentz mst hav had a hedache when they namdd me bacause my real mane is Trixie Brittany Lindsey Prepzi, whic is a fukin Muggle poserprep name. When I waz 4 Volxemort trid to killl my parentz but evn tho he didnt kill them they commmitteed suiside by silting their ristz becaze they were deprzzed about it. So i went in2 fosr care wif a ubnch of posers namd Billy and Mae Poseran who put me undr the stars and beet mee becas i needed a tragique bakstryy. My step-unle Barry used to tak Paris-Hilto-p-videos of me and masticated to them! "chomp chomp chomp" he wold go al night lawng. When I was 11 an awl send me a lttttr fro a magicall skewl named HawgWartz. But Barry tuk the letttr and masticated with thm so i cldnt go to the schl. Also Barry rapped me sometimez. When i was 12 (im 17) i rann away frm homie and change my nam from Trixie Brittany Lindsey Prepzi to is Hot Topic Shadow Ra'ven Goffica Elvira Deathshade Dragona Corset Fis'hnet Exxorcist Samara Vampirica Eyeliner BiGuuyzz Demetria Satanista Misery Mikey Joel Gerard Shadow Kawaii Slytherina SixSixSix D'eady Shadow Dethstucchsin Shadow P'e'n't'a'g'r'a'm' Draculana Buffy BloodRose, or just Hot Topic. Or Shadow. Or SixSixSixeline. Or Draco. Or Vampelvira. Or Hottie Topic. Whatevah i fell lik i cal mysqelf. Also i'm a vampire and now i go to HogWarts where I am in Slytherin in the sventh year ('m 16). I dreamd of beeing Draco Malfoy's gf and listing to him singg 'Da Chroniqules of Lyyfe and Deeeth' and havening every1 clap as we mace out. I got on the HawGWartz exxxxpresss at Plaaatform 6and34. I was wearin a shrit that said "SimpleKnot" (which is a cmbbination of my 2 favrite goffik bands) on the front and "66" on the bak. I was wearing a fishnet skiirt that was sooo Kawaii and a fishnet corset stuff. I was wearing fishnet cmbatt boots and my hair was died ebony (that's how i got my name) with grun (geddit like Grun Day) and pink (geddit like p!nk) streeks. My fingrrnaiz we're painded blak wiz Satanist sings and pitchers of Gerard Way.

AN: How do u lic eet? Thanx u for beeing kawaii, bichez!