A Tale of Too (Many) Rikus

By Molly and Mandi Minamoto

Chapter One

Mary the fangirl stood in her basement and admired her work. It had only taken two days, during which she lived off of nothing but Mountain Dew, to build the monstrous machine that now stood before her. Grinning like a madman (woman), Mary was just about to pull a large and bright red switch when someone called her name from behind her, smashing her concentration into little tiny pieces.

The fangirl turned to face her best friend and fellow fangirl, Sue, who was standing at the bottom of the stairs looking confused.

"What is that, Mary?" Sue asked, pointing to the machine.

Mary grabbed her friends arm and pulled her towards the machine. "This, my friend, is a Riku Cloning Machine," she waved her hand at said machine.

Sue tilted her head to one side. "What does it do?"

Mary resisted the urge to smack her friend. "It's a Riku Cloning Machine. It clones Riku." She said slowly.

"Wow!" Sue clapped her hands in delight. "Where did you get it??"

"Internet." Mary said simply, which worked for Sue. Mary then continued: "See, what I'll do is tinker with his mind until he falls in love with me, and then bring the clone to life!" Mary laughed insanely as lightning lit up the sky outside. Sue giggled nervously.

Mary then led the way to a large computer, which was connected by several brightly colored wires to the Riku Cloning Machine. She turned it on and, after playing a catchy little jingle that would remain in Sue's head for several hours, the screen flickered to life. It displayed a list of several Kingdom Hearts characters (several meaning all).

Mary eagerly flipped through the list. Several minutes later, she came to a halt somewhere in the T's as she realized that she wasn't on the list.

"Looks like you're not on the list..." Sue commented. This time Mary really did smack her.

"Stupid eBay!" Mary growled, clenching her fist. "They always leave out the important details. Like Riku only getting paired with real Kingdom Hearts characters!"

Sue patted her friends shoulder gently. "Don't worry about it, Mary. You'll just have to find another way to marry Riku. Even though if he did come to life, he would totally fall for me."

"Would not!" Mary shouted, springing to her feet. "He would so totally fall in love with me!"

"Me!" Sue yelled.

"Me!" Mary screamed.

"That's it!" With a fangirlish roar, Sue tackled her friend to the ground. They rolled around the basement floor, kicking and biting and scratching and punching and yelling. Mostly yelling.

It was several minutes before they finally stood up with the promise to finish this once Mary had gotten some real food to eat. As they started up the stairs, neither of them noticed a bright red switch on the Riku Cloning Machine, which had been switched from 'off' to 'on'.

The machine harrumphed to life. After a few noisy, smoke-belching minutes, the entire basement was thick with steam and smog, so that it was hard to see a figure step out of the machine and climb out the window...

--

Later, somewhere else, Sora was sitting on his butt in the middle of a huge field of grass talking with his ol' buddy Riku on AIM. He had just landed an awesome "your momma" joke on his buddy, and was waiting for a reply.

Keyblademastah44: Dood, lyk, ur mom's fat.

Sora couldn't wait for Riku's answer. A few seconds later, he was surprised by the white-head's reply.

ChickMagnet277: Whoa, Sora! I just saw the weirdest thing outside my window!

Sora blinked. What kind of come-back was that?

Keyblademastah44: Wut up?

ChickMagnet277: I just saw this guy who looks just like me! omg, another one just walked by!

Keyblademastah44: ??

Sora frowned and shifted his weight around slightly. What was going on over there (wherever Riku was)? He broke out of his thoughts when the computer binged, alerting him of Riku's reply.

ChickMagnet277: Listen to this, Sora. I just saw a bunch of guys who look exactly like me walk by, and one who looks mostly like me but kinda different. This is weird, dude.

Sora paused halfway through making a bunny on his computer.

ChickMagnet277: Whoa, it's like they're clones of me or something!

Keyblademastah44: ? wut do u mean?

But Riku didn't reply. Even after Sora filled the entire page with question marks, Riku didn't say anything. Sora angrily asked whether he was being ignored, and finally signed off in frustration. After a minute, he signed back on and apologized. Riku still didn't answer, and Sora was (finally) starting to get worried.

"What if something terrible happened to him?" Sora asked no one in particular (the field was quite empty). "What if he was kidnapped by Heartless? What if he fell off a cliff? Or what if..." Sora clutched his hands together, terrified. "What if clones with messed up hormones kidnapped him, strapped him to a rocket, and blasted him clear to another world??"

Sora hesitated a moment before bursting into laughter. "Naw. There's no way that could'a happened."

Somewhere far, far away, Riku was sailing through the skies, strapped to a rocket.

"Still," Sora decided. "Something must be wrong. I'd better go find him and help him out!" With that decision made, Sora informed his buddy list that he was 'away' before hoisting the Keyblade over his shoulder and starting off on his journey to find, and hopefully save, Riku.

Little did he know what horrors awaited him along the journey.

--

In case you haven't guessed yet; a collab by the Minamoto sisters (that's us). This chapter was written by Mandi (that's me).

WARNING: NOT MEANT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY.

Especially for all you Riku fans.