The Christmas Special
Rating: K/K+
Author: ME XZeePoisonousOneX
A/N: I've never written a Christmas special- ever! And I thought, seeing as I've been on fanfic for several years and I have never tried it before, why not give a Christmas special a try! And, who have I chosen to be my little experiment? Shrek and co. of course! Well… less Shrek and more the Dronkeys XD
ENJOY!
Narrator: It was the day before Christmas,
and all through the shop,
------------
Elves and helpers were going mental over what to do.
It appeared that Rudolph had decided to celebrate early with all his reindeer buddies (One can't exactly blame him, after his entire childhood of being an outcast he would have to make up for lost time, that goes without saying) and they hadn't been seen since.
"Oh, don't worry, Santa, we won't be out all night, we'll be back before you can blink!" Well, Santa regretted letting them out for a Christmas bash. He was down several reindeers and a lot of eggnog. He could just picture it now, Rudolph and Prancer pole dancing drunkenly and Donna and Vixen gyrating up against some rather unlucky dwarves (Though, in Grumpy's case he probably wouldn't ever have a better offer again).
Santa needed to find some reindeer replacements- fast.
He sat down in his armchair and popped his feet up on the stool in front of the fire, "Virginia?" He called, rubbing his beard thoughtfully; a blond woman popped her head around the door, flour smeared her cheek. "Yes, sugar?" Santa grinned, he was glad he'd traded in the old bird for a new one- let's face it, a celebrity needs a bimbo to keep up his image. He wiped the grin off his face and cleared his throat, "Yes, well, can you grab the naughty/nice files? In particular the flying creatures files." Virginia giggled and disappeared around the door again.
He reached towards the table beside him and grabbed a mince pie, nibbling it thoughtfully as Virginia breezed in and dropped the rather thin file into his lap, "There you go, sugar muffin." She giggled and santa felt his smile spread thin across his face. One thing he hated about her was that damned giggle. She did all the time! When she made him tea, when she passed him the butter, when she answered the bleedin' phone! What's wrong with silence?! He would think angrily.
He searched his pockets for his spectacles and, upon finding them, held them up against his eyes as he quickly scanned the file. Unfortunately, after the purge of the Farquad-era,, most of the flying creatures had been… eradicated, which only left Dragon:
"Too big and… scary," Santa muttered turning the page,
Pegasus:
"Too arrogant," He tutted at the 'naughty x' and the file picture of Pegasus with his wing around a unicorn.
Rocky the flying chicken:
"Wrong file," Santa grunted.
And the Dronkeys: Peanut- good- Bananas- good- Parfait- mischievous with a hint of nastiness- Debbie- very, very good- and Cocoa- naughty.
"Perfect."
Donkey tiptoed around the half singed tree- Bananas had gotten a cold- and sat down in a shadowed corner, he nudged his presents, picked them up in his teeth and shook them. "Oooh, I wonder what she got me. I hope she got me that recorder I hinted at." (In fact, he hadn't hinted, he'd dragged her down through tinsel town, pointed at the Recordomatic9000 and said "Ooooooh, isn't that pretty!" and then simply went back home).
As he moved to the next present which was apparently from the babies (it was signed with scrawled pictures of a banana, a peanut, chocolate and a 'D') he heard a strange rustling sound in the chimney. He paused, pushing himself upright to peer around the tree just in time to see a large red-clad figure drop down the chimney and tmble out onto the floor. "Holy Donkey-Kong!" Donkey exclaimed, "Santa Claus! Santa!" He felt like a child again. He lunged forwards and placed his hooves on Santa's belly, "Oh, man! And all the other Donkeys laughed at me for believing- looks who's laughing now!" Santa scowled.
"Do you mind? I'm on a tight schedule!"
"Oh, yeah, right! You got tons of other houses to- hey, you're early!" Donkeys hopped down and looked up at the old man with a worried look on his face, "He's old… could he have dementia?" He thought, unfortunately he'd made ahabit of voicing his thoughts outloud recently.
Santa growled, "No, I don't have dementia! Give me your babies!"
"What?!" Donkey yelped, taking a defensive stance, "You're not Santa!" The man seemed to deflate.
"I am Santa. I need your children to pull my sleigh, my reindeer have gone AWOL." He smiled tentatively, "I apologise for my harshness, I'm a little bit stressed."
"You tell me! I've been doin' my nut tryin' to make this Christmas special for my family but Dragon's been nagging me about the tree, the kids have had colds and the Goblins keep stealing the presents! Damn Goblins-"
"Yes… well… take me to your children, I have a question to ask them." Donkey's chest swelled up and tears appeared in his eyes, Santa Claus had chosen his children to pull the sleigh.
Santa knew that look anywhere, of course he wasn't going to take the wind out of Donkey's sails and tell him they were his only choice, best make him feel his children were special. Which, they were…. In a very mutanty way.
Donkey blubbed happily as he led Santa through the tower and took him up to the Dronkeys bedroom. He nudged open the door and whispered quietly, "Hey, Kids, someone special has something to ask you." He stepped out of the way and as soon as the nightlight illuminated Santa's features they jumped across their beds and flew around him happily.
"Children, with your wings so… wingy… will you guide my sleigh tonight?" The dronkeys whooped and cheered, flying about him in circles. Donkey cried loudly, "They say yes!" Santa clapped his hands together happily.
"Perfect! Ho-ho-ho! Merry Christmas!"
As the children of the world curled up in bed and looked through there windows, they couldn't but note that Rudolph was burping flames.
A/N: MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!