A/N: Chapter 1 of Reality Check - the results of an OTP challenge on Tumblr! Prompt #1: I lost my little sibling in IKEA and I need your help finding them.

"Hey, you!"

"Can I help you?" Matt drawled in his well-practiced way. He turned and stared as a young man dressed in black bolted down the aisle, dodging faux potted plants and shelves of plastic fruit.

"Yeah!" The blonde man gasped, panting and clearly out of breath. "Look, I don't have time to explain, but have you seen a little white-haired idiot running around lately?"

"You mean the old man on aisle 18, or the little old lady who meows at the cat paintings?" Matt asked, smothering a laugh behind forced professionalism.

"Neither," the man huffed. "It's my kid brother. He goes by the name of Near. He's about six years old, 3'4", 45 lbs., wearing a white shirt and-"

"So you want me to page him on the intercom, or...?" Matt interrupted, pushing his cart out of the way. At this rate, it would take hours to finish sorting out the flatware.

"No! God, no." The blonde cringed. "Our father would murder me if he knew I let the little shit get away. He's probably hiding somewhere, but I don't know where. If you were a shitty little brat, where would you hide?"

"Follow me," Matt said, turning towards the central aisle. "You would be surprised at how many after-hours games of drunk hide-and-seek we play around here. I'm Matt, by the way."

"Mello," the man said.

"Cute name," Matt chuckled. "Short for Melody?"

"Sometimes," Mello huffed. "Sometimes it's short for Mello-will-kick-your-pale-white-ass."

"Now that's a mouthful," Matt rolled his eyes. He poked his head between a set of bookshelves. "Are you always so violent with sales associates?"

"Are you always so snide with customers?" Mello snapped back.

"Touché," Matt laughed. "Hey, is that your brother?"

He pointed towards the section with the bed linens. On the display model towards the back right corner, a white mop of unruly hair poked out from beneath a pink duvet. A stack of square pillows lay neatly arranged in a semi-circle around the designated hiding spot.

"You awful little sneak!" Mello growled, grabbing Near by the shoulder and pulling him out from under the display bed. He shook the boy, glaring sourly. "You have no idea how much I've looked for you."

"I counted to seven hundred and thirty-five," Near said, twirling his finger in his hair. He took Mello's hand, staring up at Matt with a curious expression.

"Cute kid," Matt said, patting Near on the head. "Next time, you should try the bathroom display. There's a whole forest of shower curtains you can hide in."

"Don't encourage him," Mello sighed dramatically. "But uh... thanks. For finding him."

"All part of my job," Matt said, pointing to his name badge. "Creating a better everyday life, as they say."

"Yeah, I get it," Mello said, growling as Near tugged his arm in the direction of the soap dispenser display. "I don't suppose you carry child-sized bodybags, do you?"

"Afraid not. Is there anything else I can help you with?" Matt asked, amused.

"Yeah," Mello paused, "What time do you get off today?"