My Guardian Angel
Sam cannot remember ever being alone, there's always been someone around. Dean has always been a constant, but sometimes he'd leave Sam alone to go for food, clothes or beer for when John came back. But the angel, he was never more than a yard away.
Sam knew it was not just an angel, it was his angel, his guardian angel. Sam found out only he was able to see the angel, he gained that knowledge when he was four.
.Flashback.
Sam was sitting on a bed on their current motel.
"And you saw how fast I went!? Good thing you were there Luci, I COULD HAVE DIED!" Sam spoke avidly to the angel who only smiled at the young boy.
"Sammy stop talking alone." Dean said slightly annoyed. " 'm trying to watch TV here!"
"But Dee I'm not talking 'lone! I'm talking to an angel, can't you see?" Sammy cried offended.
"Sam it´s just us two in here." Dean sighed.
"But…"
"Shh, shh, it's alright Samuel, he can't see me, only you know I'm here." The angel tried to soothe the kid.
"S-so you-you're not real?" Sam's eyes filled with tears.
"Shh, I'm real Sammy… The thing is only you can see me because I am your guardian angel. You understand?" the winged creature explained. Samuel nodded and then his eyes filled with worry and concern.
"B-but then why Dee can't see his angel?"
"That's because he doesn't believe in angels."
"Why?"
"I don't know kid, he somehow stopped believing."
"I'll never stop believing in you! Never-ever-ever!" The angel smiled warmly at the boy's determination.
.End Flashback.
Sam was now 12 and he was still in talking constantly with his angel which had become his only friend. They only talked when they were alone, which no one really cared to notice but was more often than not.
"What are you doing there Sam?" The angel inquired spying over the teen's shoulder.
"Research:" the messy haired Winchester answered distractedly.
"Research on…" the angel glanced at the book resting in the desk before Sam. "..on angels. You know you could've just asked me."
"Could I?" Sam changed the page of the book going back a few chapters stopping in a page titled in golden letters.
"Ah…" The angel's face fell as he read the damning letters 'The Fall of Lucifer'. "So you figured it out…"
"Why did you lie?" Sam was angry, maybe even furious.
"I've never lied to you Sam, not once."
"But you never told me the truth, right?! Luci!? Or do you prefer Satan?!" the rage in Sam manifested in thick tears running down his young face.
"Sam, please… let me explain." The Morningstar pleaded. "If you know who I am you must understand why I couldn't tell you. I never wanted you to be afraid of me!"
"I trusted you!" The boy accused.
"And you can still trust me, I am the same angel you've always known. My name changes nothing! I'll still be here for you always, and I'll never lie to you Sammy!" The Devil was filled with sorrow and desperation, he was truly afraid. Afraid of losing the only thing he cared for, the only thing that he felt something positive for, the only one that mattered to him.
"Go away." The human was crying, he was hurt, betrayed and above all confused. His guardian angel was Satan, the Devil, the Prince of Darkness; and yet to him he was always good, always kind, always there.
"Sammy…"
"Don't call me that! And I don't want to see you! Go away Lucifer!" The fallen sighed heavily defeated and then he silently vanished.
It was after many years later that Sam spoke again to the angel guarding him of evil… It was the night Jess died. Dean was asleep already and Sam had locked himself in the bathroom to cry and grieve.
"L-Luci?" he muttered between sobs and he needn't say more, the angel unchanged by time materialized next to him enveloping with his arms and wings in a tight hug.
"I'm here Sammy." He murmured soothingly rubbing Sam's back. "I'm always here."