My Heart's Made Up

Summary: Sasuke's feelings and thoughts as he places Sakura under his Genjutsu in Chapter 693, and why he did so.

Pairing: SasuSaku

Note: I immediately came up with this after I read the chapter at five in the morning when it came out. o.o I hope you like it.

Note 2: It's hard to write a guy's view when I'm a girl. ;-;

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"But I still love you!"

I believe you still love me. I've never doubted you on that. I've known ever since you cried out to me that day, so, so many years ago, Sakura.

It's why I tremble as I turn towards you. It's why I can't look at your face, why I keep from looking at you as you cry, because I know you're crying. You're so fragile it terrifies me.

"You're… such an annoyance."

That's all I can say, because I remember.

I remember that we've done this before. You've cried out, screamed at me before, told me you love me, and I've done this twice now as well. Called you annoying because that's all I can muster at this point.

I'm sorry, Sakura, for placing that Genjutsu on you. I'm sorry for hurting you all this time, for lying to Kakashi and Naruto, sorry for everything…

There is no reason for you to love me, but you do.

There is no reason for me to love you…

Yet I do.

Honestly, Sakura, I do. Don't doubt me on that. I may not say it, I may deny it to Kakashi, but I love you more than you'll ever know.

It's why I can't tell you yet, why I won't let you watch this battle between me and Naruto.

I'm terrified of losing you, Sakura. It shakes me to my very core that I might lose you one day. I can't—no. I won't allow that to happen again. I won't lose someone precious to me, someone I love again.

So, Sakura, listen to me.

Stay where you are.

Rest.

Stay with Kakashi, because I know he'll protect you.

I'll fight Naruto, and I don't care what the outcome may be.

Wait just a little longer, Sakura. I'll find my answer in this final fight, and then I'll know what to do.

I'll know how to tell you one day that I love you more than you love me, that nothing will change what I feel about you, no matter what may happen. I will not leave you waiting forever.

I'll come back, I promise. I'll come home, but I need to do this one last thing before I do so.

But when I do, I hope and pray you're still waiting for me. I won't blame you or hate you if you're not, but I hope you are.

Because I love you so much that it scares me to death to think about you moving on, finding someone else.

I'm no good. I don't deserve you. You deserve better, so, why pick me? I don't understand that… perhaps you can explain it to me later. Maybe then I can explain why I love you so much, because I don't know why, but I do. I love you, Sakura.

Sakura, please. Just do this for me. If my Genjutsu breaks before the battle ends, do not come after us. Stay in safety, all right? I don't want you to get hurt, it's the whole reason I placed my Genjutsu on you, to keep you from getting hurt.

My heart's made up it's mind, Sakura. I will come for you after this battle, no matter which of us wins.

And then you'll finally, finally hear me return your feelings.

I promise.

I love you, Sakura Haruno, don't ever doubt that.

Please.