Read the prequel at /s/12736450/1/Garon-s-Royal-Harem

Part One: Salt Squad

Chapter 1

It had been 2 months since Chrom had been added to Sma5h. Fortunately, Garfield realized Natsuki is too short to actually be a threat (ha gottem) and the whole thing was blown out of proportion (get it, because Natsuki is short), so the Diet Coke threat died down by itself. But as long as there was life, there was salt, and boy were some people salty. Princess Zelda (the one in Sma5h) was salty that her other, Twilight Princess-esque self was clearly being built up to become a main character in the last story and then just got cut out, and because Yoshi got back into Sma5h even though he'd committed tax fraud. The silver-haired maiden of the court, Nyaruko-slam, was salty because Lucina had shot her, and because Yoshi got back into Sma5h even though he committed tax fraud. That super cool inkling Sue Percool was salty not just because in her last tower control match she was up against two Clash Blasters, not just because someone on her team disconnected putting them at a disadvantage, but also because Yoshi got back into Sma5h even though he'd committed tax fraud. Even Pichu, a being normally too pure to feel emotions as negative as salt, was salty because Yoshi got back into Sma5h even though he'd committed tax fraud. Almost as if it was coincidence and definitely not so the plot can advance, the four of them ran into each other at Coconut Mall West, the new Coconut Mall branch in Smash City. As if this was a completely normal conversation topic, Zelda abruptly asked them, "hey, are you guys salty Yoshi got back in too?"

"Actually, yes," Sue woomy'd. "It's completely unfair that filthy criminals like him not only get to walk free, but even get rewarded for it."

"Oh, absolutely. I bet he's just trying to compensate for his inability to play B-Ball," Nyaruko-slam groaned.

"Pichu!" pichu'd Pichu, as he is a Pichu so he probably can't speak English.

So, the four of them logically decided to form a new group: the Salt Squad, united in their salt over Yoshi's return. Thus, they set out to the food court (as opposed to Arena Ferox-I mean, the basketball court) to order some Auntie Anne's Pretzels, as pretzels are salty and the Salt Squad was salty too. Unfortunately for them, Pyra was placing a very large order, so they had to wait in line. When Pyra finally finished ordering, she turned around, seeing the new gang. "Oh, hey Sue!" she cheerfully spoke.

"'Sup?" Sue responded. "You salty about Yoshi returning too?"

"I don't know about salty, but I'll admit it is kind of unfair."

"Good enough for me. Catch ya later!"

"Kbai" With that, Pyra walked away and ate her 4000 calorie order. With that, they were now at the front of the line.

Zelda stepped up first, holding out two fingers. "Two pretzels, please. With extra salt."

"Extra salt?" asked the cashier.

"Extra salt," Zelda repeated bluntly.

"...oh."

Sue stepped up next. "Can I get uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh pretzel nuggets, extra salt."

"What the frick."

Nyaruko-slam, ever so rude, demanded, "Yo, gimme a pretzel. I think ya can guess how I want it."

"Pichu pi!" Pichu pichu'd, jumping in an attempt to make himself seen.

"I think he's asking for cinnamon pretzel nuggets, but with salt added," Zelda explained.

"He...he what?"

"Add. Salt."

"Um…. okay? That'll be...ummm….$11.67? I'm not sure why you want so much salt. Honestly, I think giving this much is a health code violation."

"Give. Us. The. Salt." Sue woomy'd, glaring.

"Yes here is your salty food please don't hurt me," the cashier whimpered.

Sitting down, the Salt Squad began eating their extra salty food. Feeling dehydrated from all the salt, Sue went back up to the register to order drinks. "Four Dr. Peppers, please."

"A-add salt?"

"What? Who adds salt to their Dr. Pepper?"

"Umm...okay."

So, Sue came back with their drinks. Even Nyaruko-slam had joined the superior side of Dr. Pepper, and the crew drank. When they were done, they got up. "Alright, gang, what should we do now?" asked Zelda.

"Hmm," Sue pondered. "Uhhhhhhhh go to Saffron City?"

"Yeah, sure."

So, they left for Saffron City.