Chocolate and the traitor

Hey all!!!! This is my version of Sand's Akatsuki kids. This one has my own sense of humour rolled into it so if you don't like it...too bad. I will accept CONSTRUCTIVE criticism. Oh and I do not own Naruto in any way, shape or form. I own the chocolate bars the Akatsuki ate. Onyx

'So you understand the severity of this mission Sakura?'

'Yes Tsunade.'

'Then go.'

About 10 miles out of Suna in a cave sat the Akatsuki. Outside the cave Sakura stood in a postman uniform, her pink hair tied up and covered by a hat, wearing a black moustache and pulling a cart with 15 boxes of chocolate bars in it. Each box had a name stamped on it and Sakura was carrying a clipboard. She knocked on the stone blocking the cave. Itachi answered.

'Yes?'

'I have an order of chocolate bars for the Akatsuki. Are you the Akatsuki?'

'Yes.'

'Then sign here.'

Sakura passed the clipboard over. Itachi signed. She took the clipboard back.

'Thank you. The boxes are clearly marked with each person's name.'

Sakura passed Itachi the boxes and then left. She hid in a bush and waited. She heard 14 definite thuds.

'Wait there's 15.'

Then the last thud could be heard. Sakura grabbed the very long stick before proceeding into the Akatsuki headquarters. A few minutes later Sakura and a Sakura clone had tied all the Akatsuki to the stick (You know where it's only your wrists and feet tied) and started heading to Konoha, Kisame hitting the ground every so often.

Now all the Akatsuki except 5 Pein's were led in the Hokage's office. All were now looking about 3-4 years old. Sakura was waiting for them to wake up. Tsunade was at the hospital. Soon Sasori (who I have brought back to life for the purpose of this fic) sat bolt upright. He turned to Sakura.

'Mummy?'

Sakura looked down at Sasori.

'No I'm not your mum Sasori.'

'Who are you?'

'I'm Sakura. I'm going to be looking after you for a while.'

Sasori got up and walked to Sakura. Since she was sat on a chair he climbed up onto her lap and hugged her.

'You're pretty. I like you.'

'Thank you Sasori.'

Another one woke up. By the name of Deidara. He walked up to Sakura.

'I want my teddy, yeah.'

'I don't have your teddy Deidara.'

'But I want it, yeah.'

'Sorry Deidara. I'll send Naruto to get it yeah?'

'Yeah, yeah.'

Naruto appeared.

'Yes?'

'Go to the Akatsuki base and get Deidara's teddy.'

'Okay.'

Naruto disappeared.

'Deidara, are you wearing gloves?'

'No.'

'Right.'

Sakura pulled a pair out of her pocket.

'Put these on.'

'Why?'

'Because of the mouths on your hands.'

'Oh...okay.'

Deidara put the gloves on as Naruto appeared with his teddy, gave it to Deidara then left.

'BITEY!!!'

Deidara hugged the bear. Deidara's yelling woke up one Itachi Uchiha. Itachi got up on Sakura's lap, curled up into a ball and fell asleep again. Sakura sighed before looking at Sasori.

'Sasori why don't you go play with Deidara?'

'Okay.'

Sasori got down. Zetsu was the next to get up along with Kisame.

Zetsu walked over to Sakura and looked up at her with big eyes.

'What's your name?'

'My name is Sakura.'

'Oh. Miss Sakura...I'm hungry.'

'Can you hold on Zetsu? Until my sensei gets here?'

'No.'

'Okay what do you like?'

'Meat.'

'Any particular meat?'

'Human, beef, fish.'

Kisame whimpered.

'Fish and human is out of the question. Will you be okay with beef?'

'I don't want beef!'

'Chicken?'

'Yuck.'

'Pork.'

'Makes me get spots and have an allergical reaction.'

'Lamb.'

'Yeah.'

Naruto appeared. (It's like he's psychic or something)

'Naruto can you go get some lamb please. Is raw okay Zetsu?'

'Yes.'

'Raw lamb Naruto.'

'Kay.'

Naruto disappeared.

Tsunade walked into the room and sat at her desk.

'Sakura it's nice to know that you're bonding. You'll be caring for them until we're allowed to lock them up. Legally we're not allowed to lock up anyone under 15.'

Naruto appeared and passed Zetsu his raw lamb. He stayed. Sakura felt someone pulling on her leg. Sakura looked down to see Konan and Pein.

'Hey guys. I'm Sakura. I'll be looking after you for a while.'

Konan smiled and hugged Sakura's leg. Pein just smiled. Sakura got up.

'Okay Tsunade I'm ready to take them home. But where are the other 5 Pein's?'

'Oh I'll go get them.'

Tsunade left soon to come back with the 5 other Pein's.

'Tsunade how do I get them home?'

'With these.'

Tsunade passed over a bundle of reins. Soon all but Itachi, Kisame, Kakuzu and Sasori were reined. After Sakura had reined everyone Itachi walked over, put him arms up and pouted. Sakura picked him up and Itachi clung. The doors burst open. Sasuke walked in.

'I heard Itachi was here. Where is he?'

Sakura sighed.

'Itachi is, at this point in time, 3 years old. So you can't kill him. Plus he is so cute at the moment.'

Sasuke scowled. Tsunade smiled.

'Okay Sasuke. Since you have returned-'

'But I-'

'No buts. You can't kill Itachi in this state and at least you've found him. Now as your punishment to redeem yourself, you are to help Sakura take care of baby Akatsuki.'

'What!?!!!'

'Yeah. Sakura I think you can handle two Uchiha's can't you?'

'Sure. If I can handle 6 Pein's I think I can handle 2 Uchiha's.'

'Good, now how are you getting the mob home?'

'Well...'

Sakura thought for a moment.

'Traitor gets the Pein's and Konan. Naruto can take Zetsu, Tobi, Sasori and Deidara.'

Sakura felt someone tug on her shorts. She looked down and Sasori looked up with puppy dog eyes.

'But I wanna stay with you Sakuwa.'

'Okay. Naruto gets Kisame, Zetsu, Tobi and Hidan.'

'But Zetsu tried to eat Kisame earlier.'

'Okay. Deidara, Zetsu, Tobi and Hidan are going with Naruto. Any objections?'

Deidara put his hand up.

'What Deidara?'

'What does Objection mean?'

'Don't worry Deidara.'

Sakura passed over the reined children to Sasuke and Naruto. Itachi was still clinging to her.

'Okay Sasori can you get on my shoulders?'

Sakura knelt down and Sasori got on. Sakura looked down at Kakuzu and Kisame.

'Are you 2 okay with walking?'

'Yep.'

'Yes Sakuwa.'

'Okay.'

Kisame took Sakura's spare hand. Sakura looked down at Kakuzu.

'Kakuzu can you hold Kisame's hand?'

'Why?'

'Coz I don't want to lose anyone.'

The group made their way out of the room and on their way to Sakura's house.