Disclaimer: I don't own Legend of Zelda
Well, "Farore" unintentionally inspired this again, so credit goes to him too!
And now, presenting a Random Humorous Oneshot, The Little Merman (Wannabe)!!!
The Little Merman
"Tell him..." Rutela's spirit's voice was growing fainter, nothing but a soft whisper.
"Tell him his mother... loves him without end. Tell him..." And with that, her ghost faded away, leaving Link with the protection of water and her last last request.
In solemn respect, Link closed his eyes and bowed his head before the Zora tombstone, taking pause to mourn the queen and thank her for her gift. After a moment, Link opened his eyes.
Dawn had come, filling the small clearing with a soft pink light that, when reflected, spread calming greens and blues throughout the space. The only sound besides insects' chirps and the rustling of grass was the quiet playful plashing of water trickling into the pond. The quietude was a refection of Rutela's spirit, now at peace.
Link stared at the blue bundle in his hands. "The Zora Armor..." he whispered.
His shadow suddenly jumped up from his feet, forming the small shape of Midna. "Well, we've done what the queen wanted, and you found your friend. But we can't go see the Zora boy right now. I guess all we have to do is go to the Lakebed Temple and get the last Fused Shadow."
"Hold on," Link said, "I want to try this before we go." He quickly slipped on the Armor and dove into the pond.
After a splash, an aquatic silence filled Link's ears. Slowly, he swam from one end of the pond to another, testing how well he could breathe with the Armor on. It was as natural as if he was on land breathing air, and he felt confident about going to the bottom of Lake Hylia. He slipped on his iron boots and tested walking around, and found that they worked just as well.
Walking was very slow underwater, so Link took off his boots again. Suddenly, he began kicking his legs powerfully, swimming in circles underwater.
Shadowy Midna was watching all this from shore, and rolled her eyes when she saw Link the Blue Whirlpool causing a commotion in the water. "Link, get out!" she yelled. "We have to go now!"
Link could not hear underwater, and continued swimming in a circle, oblivious to the fish he had knocked out with his wild swimming, now flopping on the ground underneath a shrieking Midna. He swam in a circle all day, admiring his speed.
The sun was setting by the time Link crawled out of the pond, sopping wet and thoroughly exhausted. Laying on the ground, he was gasping for a good breath as he said, "Wow, Midna...you have no idea how fun that was..."
Midna was not amused, and folded her shadowy arms across her chest. "We wasted an entire day here when we could have been searching for the Fused Shadow! Zant is getting more powerful by the minute, and Twilight still threatens your world. This was completely stupid. If you keep dodging what we need to do, you'll end up sealing the fate of your world. I-"
"-Midna! It's not as bad as you make it seem!" Link said, annoyed of her terseness. "But Goddesses, I can sure swim fast in the water!"
"If it's as fast as you think you run on land, then Hyrule really is doomed!" Midna muttered angrily, refusing to look at Link.
"Hey!" Link yelled, frowning at her insult. "I'm used to riding Epona! Not running all over Hyrule! and I really am faster than that in the water. That's really weird..." His irritation at Midna flew out of his mind as he looked at the ground, deep in thought.
"What are you daydreaming about now?!" Midna snapped.
"Don't you think it's weird that I can move really fast in the water, even though I have legs and am not a Zora?"
Midna paused, but her impatience brushed the fleeting emotion away like dead leaves in the wind. "Does it really matter? Why don't you put that speed to good use and get your sorry butt down to the Lakebed Temple?!"
"Midna, what if I'm part Zora?" Link said, looking up on the ground, looking as if he had had a genius revelation.
It was no great wonder that he was surprised and affronted when, after a moment of Midna freezing in the air, she fell to the ground and doubled over, holding her shadowy sides, rolling on the grass, laughing like crazy. "What?" the indignant hero sputtered.
"You?! Part Zora?? Oh, that's a good one!" Midna managed to choke out between laughs. "The hero is a schizophrenic, pure-blooded Hylian, not a Zora! Wow, Link, where do you come up with these things?"
"I'm not skitz-whatever-you-said!" Link yelled, "And I have to be part Zora! Why else would I do so well in the water? When we see Ralis again, I'm going to ask for a family tree!"
This last statement only caused Midna to laugh harder. She loved it when Link was ridiculous. It made her enjoy, for fleeting moments, the fact that she had been forced to embark on this quest to save her people. Because after all, nothing was fun like a clueless, spacey Hylian that you dragged around everywhere, who had a tendency to come up with the most cracked up ideas in Hyrule.
After Midna had laughed long enough, she began to regain control of her breathing and said in a correcting manner, "Link, you are pure Hylian. Otherwise, you wouldn't be your world's hero and you wouldn't have pointed ears. There isn't a drop of Zora blood in your body."
"There has to be!" The Hylian exclaimed insistently. "There has to be a reason I can swim so well! I want to be part Zora! The Zoras are cool, the Zoras can breathe underwater! The Zoras are-"
"-Fish?" Midna interrupted happily, before laughing again at her joke. "I wonder how good they'd taste fried!"
"Midna!!" Link's shocked gasp only made Midna laugh ever harder.
"Okay, listen!" Link said, pointing an angry finger at Midna. "I have to be part Zora. There is no other explanation for how I can swim so good. Magic like that happens all the time. The Goddesses must have made me part Zora without making me lose my Hylian ancestry so that I could cope better with my trials. I wonder, does my abnormal strength make me part Goron as well?"
Midna froze again and blinked as Link's tirade suddenly ended with another round of introspective thought. All was silent save for the insects, grass, and water for one long moment, before Midna fell on the ground again, positively beating the grass as hard as she could with her incorporeal hands.
Link, part Goron? And what about abnormal strength?! Says the one who got thrown around by the weakest of enemies!
All these thoughts and more filled Midna's head, and her eyes closed as she laughed. Because of this, she missed Link's very angry, indignant glare in her direction, eyes never leaving her as her laughing began to calm as she lifted herself back up into the air.
Suddenly, Midna took in a little breath against her will, and bobbed two feet higher in the air for a split second before resuming her normal height.
Her astonishment broke Link's concentration, and his blue eyes softened and widened with confusion and slight concern. A moment passed before it happened again, this time accompanied with a little choked gasp from Midna.
Midna suddenly looked very worried and nervous after her third jump. "Midna? What's wrong?" Link asked tentatively.
Midna opened her mouth to speak, but a fourth cough made her jump higher into the air again. When she had gotten back to her normal floating height, she was holding her chest about where her lungs would be.
Link blinked, and then fell on the ground himself, laughing at the little shadow imp's shock.
"What?!" Midna asked indignantly, before being rocked by another almost-silent tremor and bobbing again.
Link laughed even harder. "It would appear, Midna, that you have the hiccups."
I wonder if Twili can get hiccups in the first place...
And don't get me wrong. I love Midna, I love Link, and I love the Zoras. But you know, these things just happen...
But anyway, Farore stated the excellent point that Link can swim faster underwater than he can run on land. So, this was inspired by him.
Wow...was that funny? See, I didn't plan the whole Midna-laughing-insanely thing. It just sort of happened, much like Where's the Sheath?
Hope you enjoyed this! --Blue.