A.N. Ooh I'm evil. For those of you who're reading UM, there will be spoilers! You have been warned! I've been kicking this idea around in my head for a while now, and just had to get it down in word format. Its another weird cross almost on par with UM's Ranma and Pokemon. Hope it works.
I'm messing around with dimensions, but I'm not explaining it now. Lets just say they're connected by a small thread *snickers at the reference*. Again, read only if you want to know what will eventually happen in the UM timeline.
Exchanging Education: Chapter 1
"Ne, Ash-kun?" A voice piped up suddenly.
Of the two figures walking down a medium sized road in the lush forest, the smaller one had turned to the larger with hopeful brown eyes begging for attention. With spring just barely starting to wane, the sunlight that pierced sparsely through the trees to dot the undergrowth was still warm and changed the normally brooding primeval forest into a wonderland rimed with emerald and thick velvet mosses.
The warm tenor of the larger figure replied in tones that indicated a teasing male.
"Please don't tell me you're going to ask 'Are we there yet' when we're only two days out of the village, Ferrous-chan."
The now named girl hurried to assure her crush, that no, she wasn't going to act to immature in front of him.
"No, no, I just wanted to know something."
At his inquisitive look, the 12 year old Ferrous patted a belt slung around her hips that held three tiny suspicious spheres for emphasis.
"Why can't I keep my friends with me when I get to Konoha, Ash?"
Maintaining his measured ground-eating pace, Ash held his chin between thumb and index finger, trying to find how to put things so his companion would understand. Being eighteen, Ash could still easily remember how he hated being talked down to as a kid and didn't want to put off his friend.
"What do you know of the school you're going to, Ferrous?"
The girl frowled gently and lowered her head in thought. Dark blue green bangs swept over her eyes to shield her thoughts. Why would her sempai answer her question with a question?
"Only that mother said it was in a place where she had her family, and that the school was kinda like the gym at home... Only..."
Ash reached over and ruffled her bobbed hair in jest as he prompted, "Only?"
She ducked out of his reach with a small indignant huff.
"Only that they taught people there, and not pokemon."
"Know why they don't teach pokemon?"
The girl shook her head in negation, setting the blue-green hair swirling around her head, her heritage from her father. The brown eyes that peeped up at Ranma-sama's son and heir were also from her father's side of the family, but the small gold ring around her irises were a gift from her mother.
"It's 'cause they don't have pokemon that far to the east. You have to remember your geography, Ferrous-chan. There's only a small isthmus between our countries, and for over half the year, its covered with water. I bet not many species were able to migrate over, and what few that did were either hunted to extinction, or could not get their needs met in order to thrive. You know how certain pokemon have specifics that need to be met, right?"
"Kinda like Arashi will only eat the herbs, and the rest of his clan will eat the poisonous stuff?"
Ash nodded, and a lock of his spiky raven hair fell into his own brown eyes. He absently pushed his unruly hair back.
His first fourteen years of life were spent never knowing his father, but his mom often told him he got his looks from the mysterious figure. After Ash met him four years ago, the 18 year old now knew who to blame the wild hair genetics on.
At first, Ash had mixed feelings about finally reuniting with his father, but now, almost half a decade later, he was quite happy with their new relationship.
Ranma was definitely not what he expected. Throughout most of his life, Ash had grown up on tales of pokemon, gyms, badges, and the prestige that comes with the flair of battle. Among those tales, one gym was whispered about in the hushed tones reserved for legends.
The unnamed, unfound, mysterious and imposing gym. Said to be located in the wilds that bordered the Amazon lands, the gym and its enigmatic leader was supposed to have the most rigorous and successful program on the entire continent. Only those who were truly dedicated to pokemon and a forgotten art were able to find this gym, and the graduates who claimed its seal of approval usually shot to the top of whatever tournament they chose to enter.
Some people scoffed at these tales, and others vilified the gym leader since it was also said he had ties to that infamous Team Rocket. As a child, Ash had decided to reserve judgement until he could find out for himself.
His mom, Delia Ketchum, wholly supported his dreams, and he sometimes wondered why, but not enough to ask. The one time he did, she got such a hurting wistful look in her eyes that he immediately changed the subject. And never questioned her again.
All this brings him back to his immediate future. Walking along a road in a forest with one of the sweetest imps ever to grace the earth.
Ferrous was one of the children from the village that had sprung up around his father's gym. The daughter of Ranma's childhood friends Tor Che and Plia Rah, Ferrous had the dubious title of being Ranma's goddaughter, and in Ash's mind, made her as close to a sibling as was possible.
Which irritated the imp to no end, since she had designs on the handsome young pokemon trainer herself. Ash knew she had developed a light attachment to him, but he always made sure to act appropriately.
Currently, he was escorting his 'adopted' sister to her new destination, some country on the next continent, known only as the Kage lands. Ferrous was to stay with some distant family in an effort to learn more about this odd land. In a scholarship that was to last for three years, Ferrous would attend an Academy for fighters in the Hidden Village of the Leaf.
Ash was given the only info that was known of the Kage lands, and the task of safely delivering his imouto-chan to her cousins. To that end, he had chosen several of his strongest pokemon, and was armed with four years of
crash course martial training from his father.
Ferrous too, had her three pokemon to help with the trip, but she was supposed to relinquish them to Ash at the journey's end, which was what she was protesting.
Why only three, one might ask? It was simple policy in the Unnamed Village that children under fourteen maintain that number so that they could prove their responsibility. In their village, pokemon were not looked upon as pets or tools. They were friends, partners, companions, but never owned and never abused.
Abusing pokemon carried heavy penalties in Unnamed since its founding principles were on the equality and respect of both humans and pokemon.
At the moment, as the duo were only two days out from Unnamed village Ash and Ferrous were looking forward to visiting the wild Raichu clan that lived nearby.
Partis, Ferrous's young pikachu had gone with Ash's to scout ahead and ensure their welcome among the wild clan. As electric rodents, all three of the species' evolutions can be easily startled, and it was better to avoid such a combined shock. Ash would only be mildly stunned, as he could withstand quite a lot of electricity, thanks to his years with a temperamental pikachu, but Ferrous usually lived in harmony with hers, and so was not used to the massive influx like Ash.
Ash only gave a passing thought as to how his dad would have made out. Then he snorted. Ranma was a damned tank in some ways, and electricity happened to be one of his specialties.
Ash snorted again as he shunted away thoughts of his father as he sensed Pikachu and Partis coming back.
Rustling in the underbrush brought no tensed reactions from the humans, as they both were advanced enough to recognize their companions. The two yellow bodies that emerged quickly jumped to their usual favored positions.
Pikachu on Ash's broad shoulder, and Partis laying halfway on Ferrous's head with her hind feet braced against the backpack. Pikachu chirped and 'pika-ed' his news to Ash and Ferrous nodded several times in agreement with several points.
Another odd thing that set aside Unnamed village and gym was that because of the level of understanding between humans and pokemon, most human partners could understand the gist of what the pokemon were saying, even if the pokemon never learned to speak like a human, as a few rare cases could.
At the moment, Pikachu was outlining the fact that one of the female Raichu in a prominent position in the clan had recently given birth, and the situation was a little touchy. Both Ash and Ferrous knew about mothers and their progeny, especially if it was a recent occurance.
Partis piped up, saying that the pentethra would gladly meet them on the outskirts, since the 'feral one's' kit was doing the visiting.
Ferrous just rolled her eyes with impatience at the politics of the wild while Ash was just bemused. Even after four years of this, he still could not get over the fact that they had politics, let alone that his dad's reputation guaranteed his son an emissary's welcome.
Again alone with his thoughts, Ash paced in the direction that Pikachu had indicated while Ferrous reminisced with Partis.
"Think of how cute the pichus would be. I remember when you were that small, Partis." The girl made teasing cooing noises while Partis wrinkled her button nose at the reminder.
Partis was Ferrous's first pokemon friend. They had met when the girl had gotten lost outside the village and stumbled on a denning Raichu in the rain. Fairly sick with a cold, drenched and crying, Ferrous barely escaped a good zapping from the startled mother, but apparently she took pity on the drowned rat of a human that entered her den.
The six year old Ferrous had gotten into a shouting match with her quick tempered father just before the storm had started, and both ended up storming away. Tor Che had gone to the gym to work out frustrations with Arashi, the healer Nidorino, and Ferrous had stomped into the forest looking for her favorite tree to hide in.
Then it started to rain, and Ferrous went from angry, to wet, to miserable in short order. Then to add insult to injury, she found her tree missing its necessary first step climbing limb. Then she got lost.
To this end, when the sea green haired child found the mini cave at the roots of another tree, she didn't hesitate on entering and huddled near the entrance to conserve warmth.
Momma Raichu eventually chirred a greeting, and was rewarded with Ferrous jumping and hitting her head on the cubby's roof.
Rubbing the knot and wincing, the six year old widened her eyes at the sight of the suspicious furry pichus behind the anxious yet caring mother.
"Oh," the child eeped. "I'm sorry. Didn't think to look."
Holding a hand to her nose to stifle an oncoming sneeze, chibi Ferrous turned to the falling rain and sighed before taking a step toward finding another hideout. After all, Ranma-sensei always said to be extra nice to a pokemon mother, and that most new mommies don't like visitors.
The child's progress was hampered, however by a tug on the back of her shirt. Turning around, gold rimmed brown eyes met deep chocolatey eyes. Momma Raichu went "Rai, raira," and then a drawn out, soft "Chuuu".
Ferrous, with a beginners understanding of the 'Chu' dialect as Ranma-sensei sometimes called it replied, and startled Momma Raichu.
"Alright, I'll stay then if you're sure. When the rain stops, and if I don't tell anyone, can I come back? I know where some nice clover grows and I can bring you a bundle. Auntie Crescent's friend is a pikachu who says that they all like clover."
Momma Raichu chirrs a question tentatively.
"Yup, I can understand you. Ranma-sensei says that if you want to be friends with someone, then you generally have to understand what they're sayin'."
Again a chirred question, but with a sharper tone.
"Eh? Feral one? Not sure, but some of the pokemon at the gym will call him that when he's not around. No one tells me why though? Or what it means." The girl degenerated into typical six year old grumbling rants at being kept out of the loop as she slid back down into sitting Indian style.
Ferrous only stopped when one of the more energetic pichus ran into her leg and fell on its backside. It had been running around in circles, got dizzy and encountered this new addition to its den.
"Pich!" it demanded.
Chuckling at the little kitling's imperious demand, Ferrous scooped it up after gaining visual permission from Mama Raichu.
Thus began the friendship of Ferrous and the later named Partis. Partis spent about a year with her mother growing from a handful size to about a foot in height. The transfer of companionship from mother to friend occurred when Ferrous was seven, delighting her whole family, and garnering approval from her beloved godfather, Ranma-sensei.
That auspicious year heralded several life changes for the little girl. She befriended two other pokemon who soon became a part of her family, and she found out that Ranma-sensei had a son, who'd be her new 'onii-san'.
Ferrous was an only child, but she had plenty of cousins and aunts and uncles. Her father, Tor Che ran a department under the Renshah Goods corporation, but it was originally owned by her godfather. Her mother, Plia Rah, was a trainer who worked at Ranma's gym helping other pokemon and their friends get stronger along with Auntie Crescent and Auntie Cuttar.
All was as sane and normal in her world (as could be with Ranma in tow, which means she had some insane adventures along the way) until she was twelve. Word was brought from the far reaches of the eastern forests of something new happening. One of the Kage lands had approved an experimental exchange program to deepen relations between the two continents.
Guess who just got volunteered?
While Ferrous was thrilled to be allowed to see new things, she still felt pangs of misgiving at what she was leaving behind. Her parents, her pokemon, her friends from the village, and the chance to compete in the village tournament when she turns fourteen.
In Unnamed village, fourteen was one of those magical ages were several set restrictions would vanish. She would be allowed to keep more pokemon friends with her, compete in the tournament, challenge her chosen male for a marriage battle, legally duel for money or preset prizes, or even set out on her own pokemon journey.
Instead of all that, she was trading it for an adventure into the unknown. Children of the Amazon lands could not legally set out on pokemon journeys until they were fourteen, but Ferrous wasn't going on a pokemon journey, and that was probably one of the main reasons she had agreed to go. She would be able to hold this over the other kids' heads when she got back.
The Ferrous in the present once again reviewed her decision. Three years. Ugh, it was a long time. It would take over a month just to get to this 'Konoha' village. Which reminded her.
Turning to her friend, crush, companion, escort, and self-proclaimed onii-chan, she adopted the uber-kawaii look that Ranma-sama taught her.
Ash was shaken out of his reverie feeling an upwelling of dreaded cuteness. In an exaggerated motion, he turned his head slowly to face the firing squad.
"Ash-kun?"
Haltingly, "Y-yeah?"
"Are we there yet?"
I'm messing around with dimensions, but I'm not explaining it now. Lets just say they're connected by a small thread *snickers at the reference*. Again, read only if you want to know what will eventually happen in the UM timeline.
Exchanging Education: Chapter 1
"Ne, Ash-kun?" A voice piped up suddenly.
Of the two figures walking down a medium sized road in the lush forest, the smaller one had turned to the larger with hopeful brown eyes begging for attention. With spring just barely starting to wane, the sunlight that pierced sparsely through the trees to dot the undergrowth was still warm and changed the normally brooding primeval forest into a wonderland rimed with emerald and thick velvet mosses.
The warm tenor of the larger figure replied in tones that indicated a teasing male.
"Please don't tell me you're going to ask 'Are we there yet' when we're only two days out of the village, Ferrous-chan."
The now named girl hurried to assure her crush, that no, she wasn't going to act to immature in front of him.
"No, no, I just wanted to know something."
At his inquisitive look, the 12 year old Ferrous patted a belt slung around her hips that held three tiny suspicious spheres for emphasis.
"Why can't I keep my friends with me when I get to Konoha, Ash?"
Maintaining his measured ground-eating pace, Ash held his chin between thumb and index finger, trying to find how to put things so his companion would understand. Being eighteen, Ash could still easily remember how he hated being talked down to as a kid and didn't want to put off his friend.
"What do you know of the school you're going to, Ferrous?"
The girl frowled gently and lowered her head in thought. Dark blue green bangs swept over her eyes to shield her thoughts. Why would her sempai answer her question with a question?
"Only that mother said it was in a place where she had her family, and that the school was kinda like the gym at home... Only..."
Ash reached over and ruffled her bobbed hair in jest as he prompted, "Only?"
She ducked out of his reach with a small indignant huff.
"Only that they taught people there, and not pokemon."
"Know why they don't teach pokemon?"
The girl shook her head in negation, setting the blue-green hair swirling around her head, her heritage from her father. The brown eyes that peeped up at Ranma-sama's son and heir were also from her father's side of the family, but the small gold ring around her irises were a gift from her mother.
"It's 'cause they don't have pokemon that far to the east. You have to remember your geography, Ferrous-chan. There's only a small isthmus between our countries, and for over half the year, its covered with water. I bet not many species were able to migrate over, and what few that did were either hunted to extinction, or could not get their needs met in order to thrive. You know how certain pokemon have specifics that need to be met, right?"
"Kinda like Arashi will only eat the herbs, and the rest of his clan will eat the poisonous stuff?"
Ash nodded, and a lock of his spiky raven hair fell into his own brown eyes. He absently pushed his unruly hair back.
His first fourteen years of life were spent never knowing his father, but his mom often told him he got his looks from the mysterious figure. After Ash met him four years ago, the 18 year old now knew who to blame the wild hair genetics on.
At first, Ash had mixed feelings about finally reuniting with his father, but now, almost half a decade later, he was quite happy with their new relationship.
Ranma was definitely not what he expected. Throughout most of his life, Ash had grown up on tales of pokemon, gyms, badges, and the prestige that comes with the flair of battle. Among those tales, one gym was whispered about in the hushed tones reserved for legends.
The unnamed, unfound, mysterious and imposing gym. Said to be located in the wilds that bordered the Amazon lands, the gym and its enigmatic leader was supposed to have the most rigorous and successful program on the entire continent. Only those who were truly dedicated to pokemon and a forgotten art were able to find this gym, and the graduates who claimed its seal of approval usually shot to the top of whatever tournament they chose to enter.
Some people scoffed at these tales, and others vilified the gym leader since it was also said he had ties to that infamous Team Rocket. As a child, Ash had decided to reserve judgement until he could find out for himself.
His mom, Delia Ketchum, wholly supported his dreams, and he sometimes wondered why, but not enough to ask. The one time he did, she got such a hurting wistful look in her eyes that he immediately changed the subject. And never questioned her again.
All this brings him back to his immediate future. Walking along a road in a forest with one of the sweetest imps ever to grace the earth.
Ferrous was one of the children from the village that had sprung up around his father's gym. The daughter of Ranma's childhood friends Tor Che and Plia Rah, Ferrous had the dubious title of being Ranma's goddaughter, and in Ash's mind, made her as close to a sibling as was possible.
Which irritated the imp to no end, since she had designs on the handsome young pokemon trainer herself. Ash knew she had developed a light attachment to him, but he always made sure to act appropriately.
Currently, he was escorting his 'adopted' sister to her new destination, some country on the next continent, known only as the Kage lands. Ferrous was to stay with some distant family in an effort to learn more about this odd land. In a scholarship that was to last for three years, Ferrous would attend an Academy for fighters in the Hidden Village of the Leaf.
Ash was given the only info that was known of the Kage lands, and the task of safely delivering his imouto-chan to her cousins. To that end, he had chosen several of his strongest pokemon, and was armed with four years of
crash course martial training from his father.
Ferrous too, had her three pokemon to help with the trip, but she was supposed to relinquish them to Ash at the journey's end, which was what she was protesting.
Why only three, one might ask? It was simple policy in the Unnamed Village that children under fourteen maintain that number so that they could prove their responsibility. In their village, pokemon were not looked upon as pets or tools. They were friends, partners, companions, but never owned and never abused.
Abusing pokemon carried heavy penalties in Unnamed since its founding principles were on the equality and respect of both humans and pokemon.
At the moment, as the duo were only two days out from Unnamed village Ash and Ferrous were looking forward to visiting the wild Raichu clan that lived nearby.
Partis, Ferrous's young pikachu had gone with Ash's to scout ahead and ensure their welcome among the wild clan. As electric rodents, all three of the species' evolutions can be easily startled, and it was better to avoid such a combined shock. Ash would only be mildly stunned, as he could withstand quite a lot of electricity, thanks to his years with a temperamental pikachu, but Ferrous usually lived in harmony with hers, and so was not used to the massive influx like Ash.
Ash only gave a passing thought as to how his dad would have made out. Then he snorted. Ranma was a damned tank in some ways, and electricity happened to be one of his specialties.
Ash snorted again as he shunted away thoughts of his father as he sensed Pikachu and Partis coming back.
Rustling in the underbrush brought no tensed reactions from the humans, as they both were advanced enough to recognize their companions. The two yellow bodies that emerged quickly jumped to their usual favored positions.
Pikachu on Ash's broad shoulder, and Partis laying halfway on Ferrous's head with her hind feet braced against the backpack. Pikachu chirped and 'pika-ed' his news to Ash and Ferrous nodded several times in agreement with several points.
Another odd thing that set aside Unnamed village and gym was that because of the level of understanding between humans and pokemon, most human partners could understand the gist of what the pokemon were saying, even if the pokemon never learned to speak like a human, as a few rare cases could.
At the moment, Pikachu was outlining the fact that one of the female Raichu in a prominent position in the clan had recently given birth, and the situation was a little touchy. Both Ash and Ferrous knew about mothers and their progeny, especially if it was a recent occurance.
Partis piped up, saying that the pentethra would gladly meet them on the outskirts, since the 'feral one's' kit was doing the visiting.
Ferrous just rolled her eyes with impatience at the politics of the wild while Ash was just bemused. Even after four years of this, he still could not get over the fact that they had politics, let alone that his dad's reputation guaranteed his son an emissary's welcome.
Again alone with his thoughts, Ash paced in the direction that Pikachu had indicated while Ferrous reminisced with Partis.
"Think of how cute the pichus would be. I remember when you were that small, Partis." The girl made teasing cooing noises while Partis wrinkled her button nose at the reminder.
Partis was Ferrous's first pokemon friend. They had met when the girl had gotten lost outside the village and stumbled on a denning Raichu in the rain. Fairly sick with a cold, drenched and crying, Ferrous barely escaped a good zapping from the startled mother, but apparently she took pity on the drowned rat of a human that entered her den.
The six year old Ferrous had gotten into a shouting match with her quick tempered father just before the storm had started, and both ended up storming away. Tor Che had gone to the gym to work out frustrations with Arashi, the healer Nidorino, and Ferrous had stomped into the forest looking for her favorite tree to hide in.
Then it started to rain, and Ferrous went from angry, to wet, to miserable in short order. Then to add insult to injury, she found her tree missing its necessary first step climbing limb. Then she got lost.
To this end, when the sea green haired child found the mini cave at the roots of another tree, she didn't hesitate on entering and huddled near the entrance to conserve warmth.
Momma Raichu eventually chirred a greeting, and was rewarded with Ferrous jumping and hitting her head on the cubby's roof.
Rubbing the knot and wincing, the six year old widened her eyes at the sight of the suspicious furry pichus behind the anxious yet caring mother.
"Oh," the child eeped. "I'm sorry. Didn't think to look."
Holding a hand to her nose to stifle an oncoming sneeze, chibi Ferrous turned to the falling rain and sighed before taking a step toward finding another hideout. After all, Ranma-sensei always said to be extra nice to a pokemon mother, and that most new mommies don't like visitors.
The child's progress was hampered, however by a tug on the back of her shirt. Turning around, gold rimmed brown eyes met deep chocolatey eyes. Momma Raichu went "Rai, raira," and then a drawn out, soft "Chuuu".
Ferrous, with a beginners understanding of the 'Chu' dialect as Ranma-sensei sometimes called it replied, and startled Momma Raichu.
"Alright, I'll stay then if you're sure. When the rain stops, and if I don't tell anyone, can I come back? I know where some nice clover grows and I can bring you a bundle. Auntie Crescent's friend is a pikachu who says that they all like clover."
Momma Raichu chirrs a question tentatively.
"Yup, I can understand you. Ranma-sensei says that if you want to be friends with someone, then you generally have to understand what they're sayin'."
Again a chirred question, but with a sharper tone.
"Eh? Feral one? Not sure, but some of the pokemon at the gym will call him that when he's not around. No one tells me why though? Or what it means." The girl degenerated into typical six year old grumbling rants at being kept out of the loop as she slid back down into sitting Indian style.
Ferrous only stopped when one of the more energetic pichus ran into her leg and fell on its backside. It had been running around in circles, got dizzy and encountered this new addition to its den.
"Pich!" it demanded.
Chuckling at the little kitling's imperious demand, Ferrous scooped it up after gaining visual permission from Mama Raichu.
Thus began the friendship of Ferrous and the later named Partis. Partis spent about a year with her mother growing from a handful size to about a foot in height. The transfer of companionship from mother to friend occurred when Ferrous was seven, delighting her whole family, and garnering approval from her beloved godfather, Ranma-sensei.
That auspicious year heralded several life changes for the little girl. She befriended two other pokemon who soon became a part of her family, and she found out that Ranma-sensei had a son, who'd be her new 'onii-san'.
Ferrous was an only child, but she had plenty of cousins and aunts and uncles. Her father, Tor Che ran a department under the Renshah Goods corporation, but it was originally owned by her godfather. Her mother, Plia Rah, was a trainer who worked at Ranma's gym helping other pokemon and their friends get stronger along with Auntie Crescent and Auntie Cuttar.
All was as sane and normal in her world (as could be with Ranma in tow, which means she had some insane adventures along the way) until she was twelve. Word was brought from the far reaches of the eastern forests of something new happening. One of the Kage lands had approved an experimental exchange program to deepen relations between the two continents.
Guess who just got volunteered?
While Ferrous was thrilled to be allowed to see new things, she still felt pangs of misgiving at what she was leaving behind. Her parents, her pokemon, her friends from the village, and the chance to compete in the village tournament when she turns fourteen.
In Unnamed village, fourteen was one of those magical ages were several set restrictions would vanish. She would be allowed to keep more pokemon friends with her, compete in the tournament, challenge her chosen male for a marriage battle, legally duel for money or preset prizes, or even set out on her own pokemon journey.
Instead of all that, she was trading it for an adventure into the unknown. Children of the Amazon lands could not legally set out on pokemon journeys until they were fourteen, but Ferrous wasn't going on a pokemon journey, and that was probably one of the main reasons she had agreed to go. She would be able to hold this over the other kids' heads when she got back.
The Ferrous in the present once again reviewed her decision. Three years. Ugh, it was a long time. It would take over a month just to get to this 'Konoha' village. Which reminded her.
Turning to her friend, crush, companion, escort, and self-proclaimed onii-chan, she adopted the uber-kawaii look that Ranma-sama taught her.
Ash was shaken out of his reverie feeling an upwelling of dreaded cuteness. In an exaggerated motion, he turned his head slowly to face the firing squad.
"Ash-kun?"
Haltingly, "Y-yeah?"
"Are we there yet?"