Okay. While I've written Glee fics that are technically canon, I've never attempted one like this, that doesn't pick and choose what canon events to include or ignore. But after reading some other post I Do Brittana fics, I felt the need to write my own because none of them really went in the direction I was looking for. It seemed like most fics were one extreme or another: everything was Brittany's fault or everything was Santana's fault, and that didn't really appeal to me. There's been a couple I didn't mind, but none that really handled it in a way I wanted to see, so this is kind of my attempt. It's a 'Fix It' fic in a way, but I also tried to incorporate some realism, so spoiler alert, I resisted the urge to throw Brittana back together right away. They're endgame of course, and there will be no Quinntana relationship in here, so don't worry about that either.
I originally planned on making this a one shot, but I've been taking so long getting the second half of this written, I decided to make it a two-shot instead so I could publish the beginning. Though, this chapter ends in a way where it could work as a one-shot still, so if I get really lazy, I could just leave it here, but we'll see. I have some of the second part already written, and everything else planned, so I should be able to finish it. Hopefully you enjoy this first part and let me know what you think. I've read it over and I think I caught any typos, but my apologies if there's still some there. I'll try to remove them later. Enjoy.
Quinn isn't the first girl that Santana has slept with since the break up. She's just the latest in a small string of meaningless one night stands that did very little, if anything, to get her off. But if she's being honest with herself, her libido isn't exactly the reason tonight, or any other night, happened. Really, she was just trying to forget.
"I mean, it felt good," the blonde muses from the head of the bed, this time laying flat on her back and staring up at the ceiling. "But it always feels good if the person knows what they're doing, right?"
"Not really," Santana answers from her spot at the other end of the bed, thinking of all those times with Puck. He's probably what most would consider skilled in bed, at least for a teenage boy, but all she ever felt was uncomfortable. "It always felt weird with guys."
Quinn considers this. "Yeah, but you're gay, it's different. A dick means a guy, and you don't like guys. Fingers are unisex, it doesn't mean the same thing."
"Whatever you say." Quinn's sexuality is her own business, and she couldn't really care less either way. Though, remembering what a crazy psycho the girl can turn into at the drop of a hat, she's crossing her fingers she decides she's straight, just in case she tries to sink her claws into her the way she did with Finn for most of high school.
"I don't think I could date a girl, though," the blonde continues to think out loud. "You can manipulate guys and treat them like shit, and they don't know any better. Girls are needy and high maintenance. I don't think I could deal with that."
"Dating girls is awesome."
"You've only dated Brittany," Quinn argues back.
"Well, dating Brittany was awesome," Santana counters without thinking. As soon as the name leaves her lips, a heavy silence falls over the room. It was no secret that the other blonde had been hanging over them all night, that seeing her with Sam was a huge reason they were even there right now, but it was like both girls made a silent agreement not to actually mention the girl. "Forget I said that."
Never one to listen or be particularly sensitive, Quinn ignores her. "What happened between you two anyway? I know everyone says long distance relationships don't work, but I figured if anyone could make it work, it'd be you guys." She's not trying to rub it in or give her free therapy, she's just genuinely curious. She feels like she's watched Brittany and Santana's relationship progress over the years, even if it was from a distance most of the time, so she kind of really wants the full story.
"I don't want to talk about it," Santana snaps, glaring at the blonde. "Especially not with you."
"Why? Because we just had sex?"
Santana rolls her eyes. "No, because you're a crazy bitch, and we don't do heart to hearts. Just palms to faces."
"Did you cheat on her?"
"Fuck you, Fabray," Santana replies, narrowing her eyes. "I'd never cheat on Brittany. Just because the rest of you glee club losers could never keep it in your pants, doesn't mean I can't."
Quinn kind of figured. Santana might be an insensitive bitch to everyone else, but she's never seen someone turn into such a mushy puppy dog the way Santana does with Brittany. "So what happened?"
"It's complicated," is all Santana will say. The last thing she's going to do is spill her heart out to Quinn fucking Fabray, especially not after what they just did. "Just drop it."
"Why, or you won't get me off again?"
Santana lets out a laugh as she sits up, pulling the blanket up with her to keep herself covered. "You're out of your mind if you think this is ever happening again. You served your purpose, Quinnie, so you can add this to your bucket list or whatever and forget it ever happened."
"Wow," the blonde remarks, propping herself up on her side to watch the other girl move around the room, looking for her clothes. "I'm starting to feel a little used here."
"Used?" Santana scoffs, tightening her hold on the sheet as pulls up her underwear. "All you did was lay there. We have a name for people like you, pillow princess."
"Not my fault you wouldn't let me return the favor." Quinn had offered to try after the second time, but Santana immediately shot her down, and moved to the foot of the bed to put as much space as possible between them. She assumes it's some weird guilt thing about Brittany, like Santana feels like she's cheating on her even though she's not. Santana's pathetically in love enough for something like that. "I offered."
Santana freezes for a moment, and is glad her back is turned while she's putting her bra on. Quinn's assumption is exactly right, but Santana tries to brush it off. "Yeah, and I was too drunk and tired to fake it, so I thought I'd save us both the awkward embarrassment."
The blonde just smirks, not bothered by the jab. She waits until Santana has her dress back on before asking, "Where are you going anyway? It's really late."
"I'm just gonna go home. I don't live there anymore, so it's not like my parents can ground me," she explains, glancing around the room to try to make sure she's got everything. When she realizes she does, she turns back to regard the blonde a little more seriously than she has all evening. "We're good, right? Things aren't gonna be awkward between us now or anything?"
Quinn shakes her head and smiles. "It's fine. Since when have we ever let a thing like this stand in the way of our largely superficial friendship?"
"True," Santana laughs, glad to see she didn't fuck up another one of her relationships. Quinn's not really a friend she would ever run to in a time of need, but it would still suck to lose a friend of any kind over something so meaningless. She moves towards the door, but pauses as she grabs the handle, and glances back at her friend. She doesn't think Quinn is too worried about what this means for her, but she distinctly remembers how fucking terrified she was after the first time she slept with Brittany, and what it meant for her, and she feels like she has to ask. "You, ah, you're okay with the whole, sex with a girl thing too, right? Did you want to talk about that some more?"
Quinn can tell Santana would rather rip her own teeth out than talk to her about that, but she thinks it's kind of sweet she offered. Sweet enough that she doesn't take her up on the offer just to torture her, even though she's tempted. "I'm okay. I'm a pro at identity crises at this point. This barely even registers on my radar. You can go."
"Thank God," she mumbles, relaxing. She's practically a baby gay herself still, she's in no position to be doling out advice. She pulls the door open and slips through it, poking her head back inside to get one last jab in. "By the way, I left your fee on the nightstand. I totally screwed you on the tip, though."
She manages to pull the door shut just as the pillow comes flying in her direction. "Bitch!"
"Later, Fabray!" she calls through the door, before she starts her walk of shame down the hall.
A couple days later, Santana is in the middle of shoving clothes into her suitcase when she hears a soft knock on her bedroom door.
"I already told you I can't stay for dinner, Mami," she calls out, assuming that's who it is. The woman has already come in three times to try to convince her to stay for a nice home cooked goodbye meal. "Kurt and Rachel want to get to the airport by five."
When she doesn't get a response, she looks towards the door and watches it open slowly to reveal a timid looking blonde. She doesn't think she's ever seen Brittany look so unsure of herself, and certainly not around her. "It's not your mom."
Her natural reaction is to try to put the girl at ease, but then she remembers the last time she saw her, and the bile that rose in her throat every time she caught a glimpse of her with Trouty Mouth, and she stops herself. "I can see that."
"She did let me in though," Brittany offers with a nervous smile. She has never once felt unwelcome in Santana's room, but she realizes there's a first time for everything. "You should really think about staying for dinner, whatever she's cooking smelled really good."
Not in the mood for small talk, Santana tries to cut to the chase. "What do you want, Brittany?"
The blonde immediately looks down, chastised. She didn't really expect a hug or anything, but she figured Santana would at least pretend that things weren't so weird between them. Deciding to follow her lead, Brittany took a deep breath and gets straight to the point. "Is it true?"
"What?"
"That you slept with Quinn?" Her voice cracks as she says the other blonde's name.
Santana freezes and she's suddenly really glad that she's facing away from her ex-girlfriend. She shakes off the guilt that starts to gnaw at her, reminding herself that she's single, and she can do whatever and whomever she wants. "Who told you?"
"Quinn." Brittany's stomach clenches as she remembers the smirk on Quinn's face as she told her, the way she implied that their previous tension must have been sexual and they just didn't notice, like this was a long time coming. Like maybe Santana had always had a thing for her. She feels sick at the idea of that being true. She knows Santana has had crushes, like on Miss Holiday and even Mercedes (though she denies it), but the idea of her having one on Quinn does not sit well with her at all.
Santana rolls her eyes, internally cursing Quinn for being such a trouble making bitch. Though, the girl is unpredictable, so for all she knows, Quinn might have thought she was helping in her own weird, manipulative way. "Oh, well, then yeah. I slept with Fabray," she answers with a shrug, attempting to sound as casual as possible. Like sleeping with Quinn wasn't something totally out of left field, and like it's not something she should have to explain to Brittany. "Though we didn't do much sleeping, if you know what I mean."
"Stop," Brittany whispers, trying to find her voice. It's one thing to have it confirmed; it's another thing for Santana to rub it in her face. Especially after Quinn already did. "Please."
"Why? You jealous?" Santana demands, spinning around on her heel to glare at the other girl. She thinks she should probably be glad Brittany seems jealous, since it at gives her hope she still has feelings for her. But really, it just pisses her off; like Brittany is trying to make her into the bad guy here, when she didn't technically do anything wrong. "You made your choice, Brittany. You have no right to be jealous."
"Maybe not," the blonde shrugs, bringing her arms up to fold across her chest, as if to shield herself from Santana's anger. "But you broke up with me and told me I could date other people, but that didn't stop you from paying some girl to pretend to be your girlfriend so you could parade her around in front of me to hurt me, when you found out I was dating Sam."
Santana immediately looks away in shame, knowing Brittany's got her there. She acted way more jealous than Brittany is right now. Neither of them really have the right, but they can't help how they feel. Of course Brittany would be jealous, she can't blame her for that. She sighs in defeat, and slumps her shoulders, her anger leaving as quickly as it came. "You're right, I'm sorry." She forces her gaze back at the blonde, and she softens even more. "I didn't do it to hurt you or to make you jealous, you know. With Quinn, I mean."
Brittany doesn't know if that makes her feel better or worse about the news. At least if Santana did it to make her jealous, she didn't have to worry about what Quinn had said. "Then why did you do it?"
"Because I was at a wedding alone, again," Santana explains, turning to shove a couple more things back into her suitcase so she doesn't have to look at Brittany as she answers her. "And I had to spend all night watching you dance with your boyfriend, again." She remembers it hurt to watch Brittany with Artie at the Hummel/Hudson wedding, but that was nothing compared to seeing her with Sam. "Because you chose a guy over me, again." She knows that's not entirely fair, since the situations weren't the same, and well, she was the one that broke up with Brittany in the first place, but it still hurts all the same. She tenses when she hears the blonde shuffle further into the room. She lets out a huff of frustration when she feels her standing right behind her and sits down on the edge of her bed, hanging her head to avoid Brittany's gaze. "Because I was an idiot when I broke up with you and I've regretted it since the moment I did it. Because it was fucking Valentine's Day, and I had spent the whole day before in here, listening to our Infinite Playlist on repeat and crying." Brittany sits down beside her and cautiously places a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Because I was lonely, and pissed and drunk," she continues, before working up the courage to look at the girl beside her. "I'm sorry."
"You don't have to apologize," Brittany is quick to say, her tummy already in knots over what Santana just told her. "I didn't… I didn't come here because I'm mad at you. It just hurt to hear, and I just… I don't know." She shakes her head, trying to find her thoughts. She hates that Santana was feeling so awful, especially if she had a hand in causing it, but she's also glad to hear that none of Santana's reasons included actually wanting Quinn. "I don't know why I came here, I guess. After talking to Quinn, I just wanted to see you. See you before you went back to New York. See if you looked different." She tries to hold Santana's gaze, but finds she can't. "Or if you looked at me differently. I don't know…"
"Why would I…" Santana furrows her brows, trying to make sense of Brittany's words. She watches the blonde wringing her hands together nervously, and she suddenly recognizes all the signs of insecurity she herself feels when it comes to Brittany and anyone else. "Britts, last night with Quinn, that wasn't, it didn't mean anything. Quinn's not even gay."
It's kind of what Brittany wants to hear, but not quite. She wants to hear it didn't mean anything, but not because of whatever Quinn's orientation is. She wants to know it didn't mean anything because Santana doesn't want Quinn. "Neither am I. Not really."
"She's not 'not gay' like you're 'not gay'," she tries to explain. "At least she says she's not. She was just experimenting. You know her, she's a walking cliché."
"That's what you said when we first started sleeping together," the blonde points out, hoping she can get what she wants to hear without having to ask. She doesn't think she has the nerve to. "That it didn't mean anything, that it was natural to be curious."
Santana tries desperately to figure out what Brittany is trying to get at, and it takes her a moment, because the idea is so ridiculous to her that she can't believe Brittany would even consider it. "Wait. Do you think I'm gonna fall in love with Quinn now or something?"
When she hears it out loud like that, it does sound kind of crazy to Brittany, but everything that's happened with them this year has been crazy and unpredictable. "You slept with her, she's your friend, it would kind of make sense that she could become your girlfriend."
"In what universe would Quinn and I dating make any sense?" Santana knows that jealousy can cause some people to act and think irrationally, but Brittany can't be serious right now, can she? "She's good for a drinking buddy, but I could never deal with her sociopathic tendencies long enough to date her. You know better than anyone how Quinn and I work. Yeah, we can have our nice moments, but most of the time we can barely be in the same room without slapping each other."
"Yeah, yeah, you're right," Brittany acknowledges, knowing it's true. And that's not even what she's really worried about. She knows Quinn and Santana could never actually be in a relationship, but that's not what Quinn had implied. "It's just, well, Quinn said…"
Santana narrows her eyes. She should've known. "What did Quinn say?"
"It's stupid."
"Well, yeah, if Quinn said it, it probably is, but tell me anyway." When she sees Brittany hesitating, she gently shakes her elbow to encourage her. "Come on."
"She didn't really say anything, but she did it in her Quinn way," she clarifies, risking a glance at Santana. She finds an understanding and encouraging expression that she's more than used to, and it makes her feel better instantly. "She basically said that maybe you guys fought all the time because you wanted to sleep together. Like sexual tension or subtext or whatever it is that you always say Rizzoli and Isles have."
Santana clenches her fist, wishing Quinn was around so she could slap her. "Britt, come on. You know Quinn. She's just trying to mess with you, and me. Please tell me you don't really believe that."
"You did sleep with her," Brittany points out.
"It didn't happen because it was Quinn," she tells her, moving over to be closer to the blonde. "Like I said, I was sad and lonely and feeling rejected and for reasons only her future therapist knows, she was coming on to me. I just didn't want to be alone and she was there. It would've happened if some random bridesmaid hit on me in stead." As Brittany listens, she understands, because that's why she started dating Sam in the first place. And why she's still dating him, if she's honest. She figures it's best to keep that to herself right now, though.
"So you didn't have a crush on her or anything?" she asks, just to be sure.
Santana tries not to gag at the thought. It's almost as disgusting as the time Brittany asked if she had one on Berry, after she found her picture in her locker. "God no. It was a right place at the right time, kinda thing. Or wrong place, I guess. But it's not something I'd ever hoped would happen. And good thing, because talk about disappointing. Fabray is about as good in bed as you'd expect the former president of the Celibacy Club to be."
Brittany giggles at the thought, relieved to hear that. She knows Santana is likely playing it down to try to make her feel better, but it works, so she doesn't think about it too much. "I'm sorry for giving you the sixth degree. I guess I just got scared when I heard."
"Why were you scared?" Both she and Brittany used to have meaningless hook ups with guys all the time, and they both knew it never meant anything. Maybe she thought it was different because Quinn was a girl? But it's not like Quinn was the only girl she's hooked up with since the break up. Though she guesses Brittany doesn't know that. "It was just sex. Weren't you the one that told me to go find a girlfriend?"
"I know," she admits, lowering her eyes to watch her foot dig into the carpet a little. She decides against pointing out that Santana also told her it was okay to date other people, but that didn't stop her from being upset when it happened. "I guess I just figured whoever you met, she wouldn't know you like I do. You wouldn't have history or inside jokes or anything. It wouldn't be, she wouldn't be able to…"
"To compete?" Santana guesses, knowing the feeling. One of the reasons she hated that Brittany was dating Sam of all people, was because she knew he got her on some level. He obviously didn't understand her the way Santana did, but she's pretty sure they're a better match than Brittany and Artie were. And that made him more of a threat.
"It's selfish, I know, but you said you'd always love me the most, and it gives me hope that no matter who we date now, we'll end up together." She shrugs and forces herself to look at Santana, hoping to convey just how much she means that. She reaches forward and hesitantly takes the girl's hand in her's, intertwining their fingers. "I still love you more anyone in the world, and I always will. That counts for something, right?"
"It does," Santana assures her, squeezing her hand. It's everything she's been thinking, and hoping to hear from Brittany, and it's overwhelming. She debates whether to leave it at that or really push her luck. "I might regret asking this, but if you really feel that way, why did you pick Sam?"
Brittany has been waiting for that. "I don't think I did, not really." She sees Santana about to interrupt, and quickly continues, hoping she'll make sense. "When you broke up with me, I didn't really understand it at first. I didn't get why you were doing it, but then I did. It was what I said at Breadstix, wasn't it? About you leaving me behind?"
Santana nods. "I could see you starting to resent me for leaving, and for not having enough time for you." The only reason she had even gone to Louisville in the first place was to be close to Brittany, so hearing that that still wasn't good enough hurt. But she knew Brittany was right, she didn't have very much time for her, even if it wasn't her fault. "That would've only gotten worse. I was afraid what would happen if we kept going that way. Look what happened with Kurt and Blaine! I would never ever want that to happen to us. I guess I was just hoping that it would save our relationship in the long run."
"Exactly!" Brittany exclaims, a little too eager to finally explain herself. "I know I don't always get things, but I get that. At least I do now. And that's what I was trying to do, too." She's not good with words, and she doesn't think she explained herself well the last time they talked, so she really wants to get this right. "If you stayed in Lima, you'd start to resent me the way I was starting to resent you for leaving. It could've ruined us and I'd never want that to happen." She remembers how lost Kurt felt at the beginning of the year, and she remembers Blaine pushing him to New York. But that didn't work out so well for them. "I know you wanted to go there right after graduation, but you went to Kentucky to be close to me, but you hated it there. I couldn't let you put off New York again. Not for me. You belong there." She knows New York is this big, fancy place that takes a lot of getting used to, and she needs to give Santana the time to do that, without any obligations to her. "You being there, and me being here, it's what's best for us right now. You know it is."
Santana has to close her eyes for a moment when she feels Brittany's thumb caressing the inside of her wrist. She takes a deep breath and gives the blonde a smile. "Has anyone ever told you that you're a genius?"
Brittany giggles, and bows her head bashfully. "My best friend never lets me forget it."
"She sounds hot," Santana jokes, hoping to lighten the mood again.
"She's gorgeous," the blonde replies sincerely. She leans over to gently press a kiss to Santana's cheek, right where her dimple is, and then moves to her ear to whisper, "I'm, like, totally in love with her."
"Yeah?" Santana breathes out, pulling away just enough to look into the blue eyes she's had memorized since she was twelve. "Even still?"
Brittany bows her head to drop a kiss on the girl's shoulder before pulling back and shrugging. "Always."
"Me too," the brunette agrees, feeling herself lean into Brittany, hoping to prolong the moment. Their relationship has always relied heavily on contact, and it's always been so hard when they were in a place when they had to be conscious of it. She misses it so much. Catching herself, she shifts away slightly to put some distance between them, and carefully detaches their hands. "So, uh, what happens now?"
"I do my thing and you do your thing," Brittany begins, reciting her favorite quote from Boy Meets World. She's always been a believer of fate and soul mates and she knows with every fiber of her being that she and Santana belong together. She's loved her too long, and too hard, for it to not be true. "You are you and I am I. And in the end, if we end up together, it's beautiful."
The words are familiar, but of little comfort right now. Santana was hoping for a little something more than a quote from a 90s TV show they used to watch endless reruns of, though. "But do you really think we'll end up together?"
"Of course I do," Brittany answers, not hesitating for a moment. "Isn't that why we're doing everything we're doing now? Isn't that what all these tears have been for? So we're stronger for it in the end?" Santana gnaws at her lip, weighing Brittany's words. It was why she broke up with her in the first place, but she hadn't realized it would hurt this much. "You have to go to New York and get to work on becoming a huge star, and I have to stay here and graduate high school. I know it's hard and it sucks, and we miss each other, but it'll be worth it in the end."
"But what about now?" Santana asks, her throat starting to tighten when she thinks about how painful these past few months have been without Brittany. "What am I suppose to do until then?" She doesn't even know when 'then' is. And it's that unknown that terrifies her. She doesn't just want to 'end up' with Brittany. She wants the journey and the middle and everything that comes with that. She isn't down for waiting twenty years until fate decides it's cool for them to be together again.
"You live your life," is the only answer Brittany has. "You do what you've gotta do to make it through the day, okay? If that means… If that means you find a nice girl to love, then, well, that's what you've gotta do."
"Britts…"
"No, I mean it," the blonde insists. She slips off the bed and kneels down in front of Santana. "I know I said that before, and then I got all weird, but I mean it, okay? I don't want you to put your life on hold to wait for me, for us. That's not fair. Waiting sucks, trust me. I did that sophomore year, and it hurt, and then I started dating Artie, and it hurt a little bit less. He wasn't you, but he didn't need to be, because you were you, and I knew. I knew in my heart that one day it'd be you and me. That eventually everything would work out, and I'd be single, and you wouldn't be afraid, and it would be perfect. And it was. It was so perfect. But then I failed, and I messed it all up."
"That wasn't your fault."
"Then who's was it?" Brittany raises a challenging eyebrow, daring Santana to blame it on herself like she did all summer. She knows it's not all her own fault; that Figgins or Mr. Schue Ms. Pillsbury or Sue should have stepped in earlier and done something, but ultimately, she doesn't blame anyone but herself. "I failed, and we broke up, and I was waiting again. And then Sam… Sam is nice and funny and likes me, and he makes waiting a little less lonely, that's all. I don't love him, I don't want a future with him, I'm just wasting time, I guess. And maybe that's not fair to him. Actually, I know it's not, but…" Brittany doesn't really have an end to that thought, because she doesn't have an excuse. She's using Sam, and she feels bad about it, but it is what it is. "What I'm trying to say, is that if you get lonely, and you meet someone that you might not mind keeping you company, then let it happen. Don't fight it. Let yourself be happy. You deserve that."
Santana wants to argue, but the lump in her throat is making it hard to form words. Why does it feel like they've now broken up three times? "But I want to be happy with you."
"You will be," Brittany promises, the pure conviction in her voice making it hard for Santana not to believe her. "We are gonna be so happy together, I know it. I feel it. Don't you? I know you don't really believe in fate and you think it's silly, but can you really imagine a future where we don't end up together? Because I can't. But if you don't believe it, that's okay, I can believe enough for the both of us. So if I graduate and you're dating someone when I come to New York, that's okay, I'll just-"
"New York?" Santana gasps out, not sure if her mind is playing tricks on her and she's just hearing what she wants to hear. Everything Brittany's saying sounds so huge and important, and she's hanging on her every word, but that stands out above the rest. "When you come to New York?"
Brittany's lips curl up into a smile. "Well, yeah."
"You're coming to New York after you graduate?"
"That's where you're gonna be," Brittany shrugs, like it's the most obvious thing in the world. "Where else would I wanna go?"
Suddenly, the future seems reachable to Santana. The 'then' she was so unsure of seems survivable. She can do a few months, if it gets her a lifetime. As if she's grasping onto her future (and in a way she is), she cups Brittany's cheeks and holds her head steady to look into her eyes. "You're coming to New York?"
"Of course I am," she giggles, wrapping her hands around Santana's wrists to steady herself.
"But what are you gonna do there?" Santana questions, realizing that she has no idea what Brittany's plans for after graduation are. How can she not know that?
"I don't know, but I'm hoping you?" Santana blushes at the cheeky grin Brittany's giving her, but can't look away.
"Britt, seriously."
Brittany shrugs, but her smile doesn't falter. "I don't really know yet. I've been talking to Mike, and he says I could totally be a dancer. And Blaine says there's a dance department at NYADA. I don't know if I'd be able to get in because I'm not really a great singer, but maybe. And Artie told me he's applying to Tisch, and that I should look into it, because of Fondue for Two and stuff. And they have a dance department there, too. Or even Julliard. You know I've wanted to go there ever since Save the Last Dance."
"You're thinking of going to school?" There's not a hint of judgment in Santana's voice like Brittany's used to when she mentions any kind of college. People usually ask her that in the most surprised or condescending voice, clearly thinking the idea is out of the realm of possibility for her. But not Santana, she just sounds curious, hopeful that Brittany has seriously been looking into schools in New York.
"Maybe." Brittany shrugs again. She doesn't really have a dream in mind yet, besides being with Santana, so she just wants to go to New York, and school seems like the obvious choice. "I wasn't going to, because my grades still aren't really great, but I got a 2340 on my SATs, and everyone keeps telling me that would look really good on college applications."
"You got a 2340?" Santana exclaims, her eyes wide. Brittany's cheeks tint pink as she nods. Santana's entire face lights up and pulls the blonde against her for a hug. They both wish it was a kiss, but it'll do. "Oh my God, Britt! I'm so proud of you! That's amazing."
Her face buried in the crook of Santana's neck, Brittany can't help but compare her reaction to Sam's. Or everyone else's, really. She enjoys the embrace for a moment more before she pulls back again, resting her hands on Santana's knees. "I wanted to tell you as soon as Figgins told me. Actually, you were the only person I wanted to tell, because I knew you'd be the only person that wouldn't ask how it was possible or accuse me of cheating."
Santana really wants to ask how Sam reacted, but she refrains. "Well, other people are assholes. You can do anything, Britt Britt. You know that."
"I've missed you so much," the blonde says before she can stop herself. She knew she missed being with Santana, but she hadn't really realized just how much she missed everything that came with being with Santana. With Sam, it's different. His brain kind of works the way her's does, and he believes in a lot of the same things as her, so she feels a bit less weird around him, a little bit smarter. But Santana makes her believe it. They might not think the same way, but she knows Santana loves the way her brain works, and that she really does think she's a genius. Everything just means more coming from Santana, and she misses it. "Can you promise me something?"
"Anything."
"Can we really be best friends this time?" Brittany asks, a little unsure. "I know it's hard because we're not just best friends, but I really, really miss talking to you. We don't have to schedule times or anything, but if something happens that I really wanna tell you about, can I do that? If I call to tell you about something funny Ashley said at dinner, or the horrible song Blaine did in glee, will you answer? Can we talk and not be weird?"
"Yeah." She thinks talking is exactly what they need to do. If they had just talked about what was wrong before, instead of making decisions for each other and then going their separate ways, maybe they could have avoided a lot of this heartbreak. "Yeah, I think that's a great idea, Britts. But no scissor Skyping."
Brittany pouts playfully, and laughs. "Best friends don't do that?"
"Not normal ones, no."
"Well, we're not normal best friends," she counters.
"No, we're not," Santana agrees, softly. "But we're still not scissor Skyping."
"That takes half the fun out of it, but okay," she jokes, squeezing Santana's knees before standing up. Santana suddenly panics that Brittany is about to leave, and she has no idea when she's going to be able to see her again.
She stands up with her. "You're leaving?"
Brittany glances at the end of the bed, where Santana's half packed suitcase lays forgotten. "You've gotta meet Kurt and Rachel, so you need to finish packing."
Santana follows her gaze and deflates when she realizes she's right. "Yeah, I guess I do. But I don't want you to leave yet."
"I don't wanna leave yet either." Brittany eyes the suitcase, debating. Like Santana, she doesn't know when they'll see each other again, so she wants to prolong this visit as much as possible. "Want some help? You're a terrible packer."
"I am not!" Santana gasps, faking offense. She grabs a shirt off the bed behind her to smack the blonde with it. "Just for that, you're on folding duty." Brittany accepts her punishment, and starts pulling out the clothes Santana had already stuffed in her suitcase to fold them properly. They work in comfortable silence for a bit until Santana works up the courage to ask, "So, a few months?"
Santana has her hands clasps together in front of her, a sure sign of her nerves, and Brittany drops the shirt she's holding onto the bed and closes the space between them. "Just a few months," she assures, wrapping her arms around her waist as another set wrap themselves around her neck. "Do you think you could possibly handle that?"
Santana inhales everything Brittany and presses her lips to the shell of her ear. "I think anything's possible."
So there you go. I'm sorry if some of the dialogue comes off weirdly, but it was hard to cover all my thoughts and POV on the subject in a natural way, but hopefully it worked well. Basically, I think both girls are to blame for the state they're in, but I also think both of their actions were understandable. Sadly, since Glee doesn't like to give too much focus on Brittana, a lot of their actions aren't really explained well, so you have to apply your own head canon to things. I just think the situations are really similar, but people don't seem to notice that or take it into consideration. So I wanted to try to explain my point of view in a fic, instead of just leaving obnoxiously long reviews on other fics that are more aimed at reviewers than the poor author's that have to read them.
I can already feel people saying Brittany should break up with Sam then, and I agree! And that's what part two is for. I just felt them breaking up now would be too neat and tidy. Hopefully you enjoyed it and are interested in the second part. Please let me know what you think and if you're even interested in reading a second chapter.
PS: I just had to throw that Boy Meets World quote in there because I saw in a while ago and I thought it really applied to what was happening with Brittana right now.