His hair is soaked and his clothes are soaked, there is rain in his boots and rain in his eyes (or are those just tears?) and the whole damn world is water, pure H2O, and people are swimming past him and he's soaked and Jesus, it would be great to just be dry.
He looks around at the people he knows and the people he doesn't, the people he likes and the people he doesn't like and the people he doesn't give a shit about. He looks around and sees his mother crying and he notices how his father isn't touching her (is it because of grief? Or because he can't stand to see those blue eyes, so much like hers?). He sees how Clary is crying as if she's actually lost something and how Jace is holding her, not like a brother at all, but for once he doesn't feel any twinges of jealousy, because right now all he can feel is grief, grief and emptiness.
He takes one step, two steps, (three four five six seven, all good (wo)men go up to heaven) until he's inside and the fact that his face is still wet lets him know he's crying but he doesn't care, not anymore. He steps inside and takes a few more steps and when he looks into the coffin he nearly breaks apart because she's smiling, goddamnit she's smiling and he wants to kill the bastard who made her smile because Isabelle never smiled, Isabelle smirked, and fuck, what he wouldn't do to see her smirk again.
He reaches out a hand and all too soon he remembers that she's not here to take it, and he falls (but she's not here to catch him) and he sobs (but she's not here to wipe his tears) and he screams (but she's not here to tell him not to be a baby) and people are staring and whispering but he doesn't care, because his fucking sister is dead and she's smiling and she's dead, she's dead, she's dead, and he's alone.
Someone touches his shoulder and he jerks away and stands up straight and takes one step, two steps, (three four five six seven, if she's in heaven how come he's not there too?) and he's remembering her hair in his face and her hand in his and the way she hogged the blankets so he had to get close (too close, but not close enough) and her smell and her eyes and everything forbidden about her that was his, all his, (and yet nothing ever belonged to him) and it was Isabelle, all Isabelle, but Isabelle's not here anymore, so what are you going to do?
His hair is soaked, his clothes are soaked, there is rain in his boots and rain in his eyes (no, that's just tears) and the whole damn world is water, pure H2O, and people are swimming past him and he's drowning, drowning, and he's soaked and Jesus, it would be great to just be dry again, but the only dry place is with her, so he'll just drown and wait for her to save him.
One two three four five six seven, Isabelle goes up to heaven, when she gets there she will coo, Alec Alec, where are you?