(This chapter was published with Procella's kind permission.)
Montana-Bob snapped his fingers and Kenny and Butters magically appeared on the stage next to him. They were dressed for bed, wearing boxer shorts and tee shirts.
"Oh shit" Kenny grumbled irritably. "Not this again-!"
"It's okay, Kenny!" Bob rushed forward to comfort him. "This isn't going to be like that time last week, when Procella dropped you off in the middle of the Andes Mountains. When we're finished talking to her, I'll put you guys safely back to bed."
"You'd better!" Kenny snarled. "I died like seven times trying to get home last time. Butters was worried sick!"
"I sure was!" Butters chirped.
"I know, guys," Bob consoled. "Hey, if you want, when we're done with her, we can dump her off someplace weird…and maybe give her a funny appearance while she's here."
"The possibility of messing with her is the only thing keeping us from leaving right now," Kenny said. Bob nodded understandingly.
"Okay, so how would you like Procella to look?"
Cartman shouted from offstage: "How about a giant taco…that craps ice cream?"
"No." Kenny said immediately. "That's been done before. It has to be something different."
Bob looked at Kenny's soulmate. "How would you like Procella to appear to us, Butters?'
"Well, gee, I dunno," Butters said, mashing his fists together. "I think it might be kind of nice if she was a…a giant snowperson! And every time she speaks, money from all over the world falls out of her mouth!"
Bob didn't even think about it, since that seemed so completely logical; he snapped his fingers and Procella appeared on stage as a six foot tall snowperson. She looked kind of like Frosty might have in the classic Christmas cartoon…if Tim Burton had produced it. She stared silently at them, not moving.
"Well, how come she's just standin' there?" Butters asked, nervously poking a finger into her snow.
"Oh!" Bob said. "I almost forgot the most important part!" He snapped his fingers, and a black stovepipe hat like the one Abe Lincoln wore appeared in Butters' hands. "Would you like to do the honors Butters?"
Butters smiled shyly and set the hat on top of Procella's snow head. An amazing transformation happened. Brilliant sparkles of multicolored light flowed down her snow body, and her expression suddenly became lively and animated.
"Happy…birthday!" Procella said. A couple of Argentinian pesos fell from her mouth. Butters clapped his hands, delighted.
"Procella!" Bob said self-importantly, as if he was in charge of what was happening. "You are here because of the challenge you issued on fanfiction dot net. I have brought you here to accept your challenge, as long as you are willing to accept my terms. Are you?"
Procella tried to answer, but instead of words a flood of American quarters and Krugerrands poured from her mouth.
Bob nodded. "I'll take that as a yes. My terms are as follows: First, this challenge may take quite some time to complete. Secondly, it will consist entirely of short crossover stories which will appear as future chapters after this preamble. These will be crossovers with movies, plays, novels, TV shows, individual episodes of TV shows, classic short stories…" Bob trailed off as he ran out of ideas. "Some will hopefully be funny, some will be poignant, some will probably be completely moronic, only time will tell. And third: These are in response to music in my iPod…and I've got, like, really weird taste in music. Do you agree to these terms?"
Procella's snow head nodded solemnly. "Yes." A single Japanese 500 Yen coin fell to the stage and rolled away, Butters chasing after it.
"Then we are in agreement." Bob stated. Everyone seemed to be; Kenny just wanted to go home.
"Can we send her to Scottsdale now?" Kenny wanted to know.
"No!" Butters protested. "You can't send a snowperson to Scottsdale, Kenny! She'll melt!"
"But I'm going to put her back into her regular body," Bob reminded him.
Butters considered this and nodded. "Oh, all right then." Bob snapped his fingers and Snowprocella vanished, presumably reappearing in Scottsdale in her human form. "Thanks guys!" Bob shook Kenny's hand and high-fived Butters. "See you around!" He snapped his fingers and they vanished…except for their clothes, which fell to the stage with a soft whisper. Bob chuckled, hoping they didn't mind too much.