Maybe In another Life, I could have been yours.
She wonders what it'd be like if Dean had chosen her. If for a moment in time, he had opened her heart to her. Would she still have a daughter? She guesses not, he wouldn't be ready to give up his life. The adenine he felt whilst hunting. She would never ask him to though, she knows better. However, she didn't know better to give her heart to Dean when he couldn't give his back in return. She's wiser now but she also knows that it's too late. Maybe in another life, he could have been hers.
Now she just waits, silent unheard. Standing in her daughter's nursery and maybe the feeling of being a mother can make her want this life. This life where Sam's the father of her baby daughter, Danielle. Though as much as she wishes, she'll never be happy in this life. She still waits for him to say those three words and when he doesn't, her heart still breaks in a million pieces. But she doesn't open her heart wide enough anymore, just enough to smile when her baby daughters eyes light up for the first time when she comes home after a long hunt.
She wishes that genies were real, that there was a magical force that can make time go back and heart desires come true. Though there's no righteous angels and hope is long distant. Her baby daughter says her first word at 6 months, 'Dada'. Simple enough but it's aimed at the wrong person. Dean. Not her father, maybe though she knows this fact and she's too wishing for a life where things did go ones way. She lies though, tells Sam that her first word was 'Bird'. She still isn't sure if he believes her.
Dean comes to her door on a cold, winters night. He stands there, leather jacket tight on his body but he's looking down. Afraid. It's on a rare occasion when you see that side of him and she hopes that maybe, he's ready to open his heart. It's not though and her heart continues to break. He asks to see Danielle and even though she's not really sure why, she still accepts. He's in the nursery while she makes coffee and when she stands in the doorway about to cough, so he knows she's there. He says to her baby daughter, 'You're really lucky to have a great mother like Jo. I love her you know? I just wished that I was your father but that's just a little twisted.' She's not sure if Dean knew she was there but he doesn't say anything and in return, either does she.
It's her daughter's first birthday when Sam proposes to her. She has thoughts of ending it now but she doesn't. Instead she says yes and it's finalised. She's Joanna Winchester on the 21st of May. She has her dream name but not her dream husband. It's just before the wedding when Dean comes to her, drunk. Swirling around his liquor while she tries to hold his balance. 'Why are you marrying him?' She's not sure of what to say, instead she skips the question and continues to help Dean stand.
She's seen as a beautiful bride to her friends and family, standing next to Sam at the alter. Though Dean's the only one that knows that she's dead inside. Instead she stands there, a fake grin and continues to stay pretty. It's not until the ceremony's over when she stands next to the ocean shore. Danielle's with Bobby and Sam's with Castiel. Both busy, both not caring where she is. Dean sees her though and comes up to her, still drunk. He slurs out those three words, 'I love you'. They both know that it's too late but she can still feel the heat and the feeling that he finally felt brave enough to open his heart.
It's too late though and it's still seen as a distant dream even though he's standing so close and he's said those three words. Maybe in another life she would have been with Dean. Dean would have been Danielle's father and they would have been happy. All three of them but she can't live like that anymore, in a distant world. She's tired of feeling alone and at least for now Sam wants to support her and his baby girl. That should be enough? But, it's still the wrong Winchester. She knows that far too well.