AN: So, this is my first posted fic! :D Very sorry if there are grammar errors. :c I actually planned this fic to be a one-shot at first, but then it got too long... so yeah. o7o; Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own Umineko no Naku Koro Ni in any way.

Other notes:Though it is a common fan theory that Bernkastel is the same being as Frederica Bernkastel from Higurashi, this fic distinguishes the two as separate beings. So.. uhh. yeah.

Chapter 1 – And So, Boredom Ensues...

"..Checkmate. Looks like I win again... Lambda."

"Puu..! You're waaaaayyy too good at this game, Bern...! I don't have a chanceee against you!~~"

The usual scent of sickeningly-sweet candy fills the room of the two witches. Bernkastel sighs, as she wins their chess game for the 107th time. Of course, they did this to pass time; (Which is an understatement, since time never seems to pass regularly in the meta-world) and many who didn't know the two well enough would definitely find it strange that Lambdadelta- the great Witch of Certainty whose power has no bounds- had only won 15 games.

For Lambda, however, this scenario is incredibly normal. After all, she knew her dear, sweet Bern despised losing... Which would mean she would immediately grow bored of their game, and thus, she would stop playing with her; and thus, have less time to spend with her beloved Witch of Miracles. So of course, it wouldn't hurt to let her win about a few hundred times, right?

….After all, I wouldn't want my adorable little kitty to be left in a foul mood and leave me alone by my poor lonesome self, riiight..? Hihihihi.~

Bern, of course, would eventually catch on. In fact, she'd already noticed; way before their 50th match began. But she loved getting the chance to humiliate Lambda so much, so she just let it slide.

..But still, even so, doing it 107 times becomes very boring indeed. And if it's one thing the blue-haired witch hates the most, it's boredom.

And mushy happily-ever-after romance stories that Lambda seems to love so much.

And cute animals.

And anything good-natured, for that matter. Including rainbows.

"...Lambda, I'm getting bored." Bernkastel said; lying face-down on the bed while rolling a pawn between her thumb and index finger. "Seeing you loose so many times is starting to loose its entertainment value." Bern rolled over, her eyes now fixed at the ceiling. "...It would probably still be entertaining though, if you didn't let me win all the time."

"Awwwwww...~ But bern really, reaaally hates loosing right? She'd stop playing with me if I had a higher winning streak than her, riiiighht..?" Lambdadelta said as-a-matter-of-factly; as she plopped down beside her beloved witch. "Be~sides~! I stopped being lax around our 26th game, ya know? I mean, you're just too good at this~! I got more serious after that, but I just reaally found it hard to win...!"

"...Tch. Bite me."

"Will do~! Do I get to slather whipped cream and syrup on you while doing so~? Ohohoho!"

"...Hmph."

They both laid still in silence for a while, until sudden realization smacks Lambdadelta on the face. She jolts up into sitting position, as an old-style pocket watch materializes from thin air and falls firmly in her hands.

"Uwaaaah, crap, I'm late! I was supposed to meet with the Rokkenjima folks about an hour ago...! Geez Bern, you just had to distract me too much with your tsun-tsun adorableness, didn't you~?" Lambda said cackling, closing the lid of the watch.

"...How is this my fault? ...And besides that, how exactly did you know how much time had passed..?"

"Because I'm the great, all-knowing Super Paper Lambdadelta-sama~!" Lambda cackled. "Anyways, I'm off! Don't miss me too much, my dear Bern!" Lambda said, as she hopped off the bed. She was about to leave, when...

"...Hey, Lambda."

"Yeees~?"

"Why do you like going there so much?"

…...

"...Awwwwww.~ Will my cute little kitty miss me that much..? Ohh, I'm sooo touched~! I could almost puke rainbows over how happy I am..!"

"That's not the point."

Suddenly, the atmosphere grew heavier.

"...Ufufufu. Then what is the point, I wonder..?"

Bernkastel sat up. "You were once their enemy, right..?"

"Aww, but I did them a huuuge favor in the end, remember...? It's only common sense that they let me go there as much as I please~!"

"..Still, that's not the point. Why do you fancy yourself so much, playing with a bunch of good-for-nothing, worthless pieces of trash, who seem to have a habit of clinging on false hope for their survival..?"

Lambdadelta snickered. "...Buu. But Bernn, you do remember that those trash had managed to beat the crap out of you, righht...?"

"Shut up. It's only because you helped out, and Agauau failed to be a good master to her beloved miko. If you hadn't interfered, what would have become of them...?" The pawn that was once in her hand had now been crushed, disappearing into a shower of light. "Nothing. Was that chance? A miracle? Ha. Those who believe in that crap makes me sick. I just want to stuff them all into grinders and make mincemeat out of them." Bernkastel looked at Lambda sternly. "...Yet, here you are, being all mushy-buddies with them. You go there on a regular basis, and fool around with them playing games, like the idiots that you are. Why is it that you're still so interested in them, Lambda..? Those fools who kept on declaring a miracle; and usually in front of my presence, no less...?"

"Oh..." Lambda's eyes narrowed. "No particular reason; 's just that they're a really amusing lot. Besides.." Lambda glanced at Bern, and gave her a wry smile. "...They remind me of a certain little kid I once knew."

Bernkastel raised an eyebrow.

And then came more silence.

"...Hmmmmm.~" Lambda seemed to ponder something. "Anyways, you really should stop pouting so often, Bern~! It'll give you wrinkles; at such an early age, too! Noooooooooo..! I wouldn't want to munch on an icky, prune~y Bern, now would I...?" Lambda placed her palms firmly on her cheeks and stomped around in exaggeration.

"...Shut it, Lambda. Its not like there's anyone else who would want to see me – except for an idiot like you, right..? Besides, seeing you suffer would definitely double the profit. Hee hee."

"That's SO MEAN~!" Lambda turned around, and stretched her arms. "Bwaaaah.~ ...But you know Bern, it isn't so bad keeping a few allies. You'll never know what might happen, after all. Besides, some of them definitely serve as a good source of entertainment!~ Yup, they can definitely be a good bunch to have around!"

"..Heh, sure. I'll do that when I rot in hell. Oh wait..."

"..Say, Bern."

"...Eh?"

"I could still spare a few moments. Why don't we play a game..?"

The sudden declaration caught Bernkastel off-guard.

"A card game. Or maybe checkers. Or charades. Your pick." Lambda said; her chin rested on her palm. "But get this; the one who loses will have to do a veeerrrryyy special favor for the victor, alrighttt..?"

Bernkastel's eyes narrowed. "...Heh. Don't toy with me, Lambda. I don't like dirty tricks. ...Except when I'm the one doing the tricking, of course."

Lambdadelta grinned. "Ufufufu. Oh I assure you Bern, this is no trick. It's fair game, riight? After all, you've won 107 times in our previous game. What's the odds of you losing now, I wonder..?"

"..."

It would probably just be another stunt to humiliate her; like that time with the tea party. A normal course of action for Bernkastel would be to turn down the offer unsparingly. Then Lambda would probably throw a fit, or whatever. But this time... Bern couldn't help but hesitate. After all, even if it was only a quick moment; she caught a glimpse of it. For a moment, seriousness... had masked Lambda's face...

And vanished in an instant.

"...Fine, I'll play. But in one condition; the loser gets to decide if they would do the punishment or not."

"Tchu~! fine.~ But my, myyyyy, Bernnn...~! Calling it a punishment is going overboard, don't you think?~ I'm wounded!" Lambda whined.

"..Hmph."

...And with that, Bern picked a game,

played with Lambda,

and graciously,

flawlessly,

lost.

AN: So, uhh. Yeah. dunnowhatosayorzaskdlhsd. ;7; I'll be posting Chapter 2 shortly, since it's done already and all. Aside from that... Sorry for the short chapter! xo Comments would be greatly appreciated! :3