Chapter 1

My first memory... I remember I was slowly drifting to and fro from consciousness, but every time I fell back into the dark lull, the images I had seen were instantly lost. I remembered the sounds though, so I kept repeating them, over and over again in my mind, so I would not forget. At that moment, they were all I knew. The only sounds I knew existed. Voices, angry voices at first, different ones overlapping each other over and over again. The volume grew and even though I couldn't move instinct told me to back away. I didn't know what it was called at the time, but the aggression was overwhelming though it wasn't directed at me. I slipped away for the first time into black; I never knew why, only heard the voices echoing across my blank mind.

When I awoke again, there were no voices, only a quiet hum that seemed to surround me. One word came to my mind: an engine. This was new, I'd never used this word and yet somehow I knew it. Previously I had no idea of anything that was going on and yet now I was able to determine where I was, and after that I began to ask questions. Why am I in a vehicle? Oh, another new word. Am I in motion? Possibly. I didn't have the answers but the questions kept coming. Who, what, when, where and how, but most importantly, and the one I remember that I kept returning to, why hadn't I asked any of these questions before? I was smarter now, that was for sure, but what I couldn't understand was why I hadn't been before. My line of enquiry didn't last long; not only did I not have the answers to anything, but the hum of the engine, and the gentle movement underneath me slowly lulled me into another sleep.

From then on it was a case of waking for a few moments, just a fluttering of eyelids, before falling straight back into unconsciousness. There were never any new sounds, just the repetitive hum of the engine carrying through my dreamless sleep until I woke up a final time. This time I could see everything.

It wasn't cold, but there was a definite chill in the air, and a cold breeze that brushed over my bare arms, and I slowly rose. My entire body had a dull ache so when I tried to push myself up my arms wobbled underneath my weight. Even my eyes stung when they were slowly pried open, allowing me to see – or remember seeing – for what felt like the first time. As I sat on a cold stone floor, I could only say that I was in a small room with wooden walls, but just as I was trying to gather my bearings came the realisation. The realisation that this little room was the first room I had ever seen in my life. The image, the layout, even when I closed my eyes it was all I could see. I knew what a room was. I knew its purpose, its function, but when I tried to remember anything like it all I came up with was... nothing. There was nothing in my memory. When I tried to search for images, the only thing I could find was the same room I was currently in. There was nothing else and yet I knew things. I knew this was a room but how could I when I'd never been in one before?

The only other things that were in the room were a wicker basket tipped on its side, another basket, and a blanket that I noticed draped to the side of me. I must've kicked it off in my sleep. The fabric felt rough and rather scratchy, and I frowned. I could frown? This meant I felt disappointed, didn't it? Were blankets supposed to feel like this? How would I know... I would later find these details irrelevant but at the moment I needed to touch, feel and see everything I could. Every smell and sound. Even if I couldn't put a name to it, I needed to know what it felt like.

The light was limited, with shafts of sunlight filtering through the semi-closed blinds that adorned the only window. My eyes had adjusted to the darkness by then, but I still wanted to see more. After flexing my arms and legs, trying to eliminate some of the aches and cramped feelings, I shakily got to my knees and then very carefully I brought myself to my feet. It was wobbly at first, and I stumbled backwards a few steps before I was able to maintain my balance, though I had to reach out and hold the wall for stability. Taking a hesitant step forward, I began to walk for the first time. The steps were shaky, and I had to hold out my arms to keep from falling, but after a while I got the hang of it and slowly made my way to the window. Toppling onto the window sill – my legs were aching as if I'd never walked before – I reached up for the string to pull up the blinds. I had to tug hard, but eventually with a loud shriek and a shower of dust, they rose to let the sunlight flood inside.

Suddenly the entire room was illuminated in an orange glow. There was nothing else in the room to see, only the pathetic blanket and cushion in the middle, and the wicker baskets to the side. Feeling more confident on my legs now, I strode over to the tall baskets and peered inside. To say I was curious was an understatement, but how could one have blamed me? The one on its side was empty, though the one standing up was half full with what I assumed was fruit. I reached down and picked one up; an apple was the name that came to mind. It was round and a light shade of green, but I wasn't sure if that was appetising or not to me. I wasn't even sure if this was real food. Since I wasn't hungry, or at least there was nothing noticeably telling me I was hungry, I returned the apple and stood straight. There was no choice then. The only thing left to look at in the room was... the door.

I had noticed it almost immediately, but I didn't want to leave the room until I had made sure I had seen everything and not missed anything. Maybe it was that, but there was also something nagging in the back of my mind. I frantically searched for something, just a word that I could place on it. Fear. Fear was what my mind was telling me. Of course I would feel scared, by going through that door I would be venturing into unknown, something that I may not be able to return from. I was right, of course, but there was nothing else in this shack, so to the door I went. It was surprisingly difficult to open and like the blinds required a little force, but soon I was able to slowly pull the door open and take my first step outside.

Overwhelming would once again be an understatement, but that is truly what it was. I was someone with no memories, only fake knowledge somehow stored in her mind, so when I took that step outside I almost scurried straight back in again. Almost. It was very enticing to just delve back into the shed and hide away.

It wasn't particularly beautiful, just some decking that I immediately walked on to, with some tatty patches of flowers and shrubbery behind a low wooden fence separating the shack from the trees that surrounded it. I was in a forest, and from the looks of it, a thick one that spread quite far. Above me was a wooden canopy that shielded most of me from the sun, and it continued along with the decking for quite a while in either direction. I looked either way; the shack I had woken in was one in three, and I was at the far end. I glanced to the forest, and then at the decking path. It would be easier to follow the path, I decided, and so I carefully made my way down.

Passing the next shack, the door wouldn't budge no matter how much force I applied, and the blinds were open just enough for me to see through, but didn't let in enough light for me to see anything inside. Huffing in annoyance, I could only try the next shack which to my surprise was wide open. The interior was an exact copy of my own though, even the same scattered blanket and cushion, although I could see that both of the wicker baskets in this room were empty. At the time there was little conclusion I could draw from this, except that there was nothing in here of interest.

Further down the trail, and I had left the row of shacks now though I didn't dare stray from the decked path. I'd come to the conclusion that I was brave, but not foolish. In my mind I could sense that danger was to be expected of woods, and that they should be avoided. I had nothing else to go by, so I took my own advice.

It was... a melody? Music. The sound was sweet and resonating, reverberating in my mind. Whatever it was – was it a guitar? – I certainly didn't know at the time, but it sounded beautiful. The first piece of music I had ever heard. But it was faint. I wanted to hear it better, but dare I stray from the path? In the end I didn't have to, because as I kept following the path I reached an opening in the forest. As the trees parted, there was water. Water everywhere.

The forest was opposite the ocean. Once again, something I'd never seen before. That would explain the salty breeze from earlier. Salty? Yes, that sounded like the right way to describe it. The sea has salt, that was something my mind was telling me. Hesitantly, I stepped down from the decking and onto the stony beach that seemed to stretch in every direction. In the distance I could faintly make out some sort of landscape, but for now I brushed it off as unimportant. What I was most interested in at the moment was finding the source of the music. It sounded like it was coming from my right, so this was the direction I turned.

As the sound grew louder, I knew I was heading in the right direction, and eventually a wooden pier came to view. Except now the music wasn't the most important thing. Now the most important thing was the person creating the music.

There was the fear again, although I promptly ignored it. Pushing myself forward, I almost ran towards the pier, and would have if my legs weren't as weak as they were. In a strange mixture of excitement and fear I was soon at the end of the pier, simply standing there in a sort of anticipation. Although this blonde person, I'd assumed it was a man, had probably heard me approaching, he didn't stop playing or turn to see me. Instead he carried on lazily strumming what looked like a guitar and tapping his foot on the wood. I approached cautiously with small, slow steps.

"H-hello?" I asked, and then I realised that that was the first time I had spoken. My voice interested me greatly, low in tone and feminine, albeit a little croaky. A quick cough quickly sorted that out. "Um-,"

"Your mind has been wiped. That's why you don't remember anything. I wasn't the one who did it, but I was the one who got you out of there before they took you away to do whatever they wanted to. I saved you, sugar."

His voice was different, harder and masculine although it had a higher, cheery tone to it compared to mine. He looked up at me and I could finally study his face. Not particularly chiselled, but toned well enough with bright blue eyes that glittered in the rising sun.

"Got me out of where? What were they going to do? ...Who are you?" The questions came without me really realising.

"You're asking a lot of questions. That's a good thing. But unfortunately I can't give you those sorts answers now. I will, don't worry, but for now you need to adjust to your surroundings. Take a seat, sweetie."

"... Is that my name?"

"What, sweetie?" He curved an eyebrow upwards; I must have said something silly. Chuckling he replied, "No, that's not your name,"

"D-do I have a name?" I didn't know why I needed it so much, and when he frowned I almost thought I must have been stupid to have asked.

"Um... Nathalie. Yeah... Yeah, that's good. From now on you're Nathalie, okay?" he said, and when he did I suddenly realised why I needed one so much. It was an identity, something that defined me as a person. Everything I did would now be contained within that name. I was Nathalie, I was a person.

"Nathalie..." I murmured, as if testing it out. Was this a name that suited me? Maybe I would grow to suit it, I didn't know.

"Take a seat then, Nathalie," he said with a smile. "I've got a lot of explaining to do, but for now I'll keep it simple, okay?"

He seemed so friendly and inviting, so I sat down as soon as he told me too, and dropped my legs over the edge just like he did. He didn't say anything for a while, only continued his lazy strumming and dipped his feet into the water. I leaned over the edge slightly, peering down at the gently lapping waves. One of my feet edged closer, but I was too scared to submerge it in the water.

"Don't worry, darling, it's not gonna hurt you; 's just water."

I looked up and for a second we locked eyes. I remember thinking 'I trust this man,' even though he was the first person I had ever met. It seems silly now, to have trusted him so easily even if it was just a case of wading through water. Turning back to the water, I slowly extended my toes in the sea, before quickly pulling it out again, giving a little gasp.

"Oh yeah, it's a bit cold," he finally added, with a bit of a giggle. I furrowed my brow and frowned, and realized I was quite determined to overcome this. In a sudden bout of courage, I plunged both feet in the same time, albeit causing quite a splash by doing so. The coldness definitely took me by surprise, but I didn't want to be laughed at again, even if it was a friendly laugh, so I kept them in. After a few moments I actually grew used to the temperature, it almost felt relaxing as I splashed around. The man was playing again with a dopey smile as he watched me play. We stayed like that for a while, whilst I took in the blending colours of the sky, the gentle sound of the lapping waves mixed in with the melody of the guitar. It was so serene and I would have loved for it to have lasted longer, except he had decided that now was a good time to break the silence.

"Okay then, what do you want to know?" he asked, and it took me a moment to realise he had spoken at all. Once I registered him speaking, I pulled my feet out from under the water and crossed my legs, rotating to face him completely.

"Tell me everything. I need to know. I need to know why I know things, and yet when I try to remember I come up with nothing. I need to know why I know that a stone should be hard and smooth, but I can't remember what these things feel like. I know that when you strum a guitar you make music, but before I came out here I couldn't even hum a melody. It just... Even now I struggle to find the right word for what I'm feeling. I mean I know them, but I've felt them before so how could I..."

"Frustrated?" he offered.

"Yes... Yes that sounds about right."

"Nathalie, do you trust me?"

"I don't know. You've told me my memories were wiped. Which means you could be telling me anything really, since I'm so vulnerable."

"But you don't know. Isn't that the point of everything you've just said?" he countered with a smile, but it wasn't a smirk or anything that seemed sly. It was a genuine smile, as if he truly wanted to help me.

"I don't even know how to respond to that," I admitted.

"You trust me enough to tell you the truth?"

Sincere. The word I'd been looking for since I'd met this man was sincere. He had a sincere look in his eyes and smile that made me feel secure when I was talking to him.

"You're smart. A little too smart if you ask me, but I don't mind. The last person we liberated was almost the opposite. Air-headed, easily distracted. Not the best asset but at the end of the day he's better off with us than he is with them."

"An asset? Why do you need me? To be an 'asset'?"

"We need people like you, because you're the only power they have. Without you, they have nothing to fight us with. Without you, without all the others like you, we have the advantage. We have the better chance at winning the battle."

"Battle? What are you fighting for?"

"Freedom."