Rick and Shane went on sweeps like this often. Walking the perimeter of the farm with cautious eyes and ears, their weapons ready in case of a walker. They never talked, not really anyway. When they did it was small chit chat about the weather or how Carl was doing. They usually stayed away from Rick's marriage, which was crumbling as each day passed. Lori had told Rick about Shane and her. It went down just as Shane had imagined. At first Rick was pissed, going into an angry frenzy, throwing anything he could get his hands on and yelling at Lori. Shane knew he was hurt. Hell, he would be too if he was in Rick's shoes. Then it came to confrontation between Rick and Shane. They had thrown a few punches, knocked each other to the ground and fought it out. Shane wouldn't exactly say they were good now, but they were talking & Shane couldn't ask for anything more.
"Shane, can I talk to you?" Rick asked, breaking his train of thought. Shane adjusted his glock that was tucked in his belt and glanced over at Rick.
"Yeah, you know you can talk to me about anythin', brother." Shane had noticed over the past few days that Rick had been off and he wasn't exactly sure why that was. He had hoped that Rick would open up to him eventually, but with the way their friendship was going he wasn't exactly sure whether Rick felt could do that anymore.
"Yeah, I know, but this is different." Rick had stopped walking now and was shuffling his feet, glaring at the ground like a petulant child who had just gotten scolded. Shane stepped closer to Rick and cupped his face, forcing him to meet his eyes. Shane saw indifference and something along the lines of confusion tinged with hurt and struggle.
"What's wrong, man? You know you can tell me." Shane said softly as if he was dealing with a frightened animal. Hell, he might as well have been because of the way Rick could be a brooding, confident bastard one minute and then the next a gentle, soft guy.
"Have you ever loved someone you know you shoudn't?" Rick asked and stuck his tongue out to lick his lips. It was a nervous habit Shane knew he did when he either didn't want to talk about something or he was harboring a secret. Shane opted for the second since Rick was talking about whatever it was.
"Yeah, i guess. What made you ask that question?" Shane asked and dropped his hand from Rick's face. Rick almost whimpered at the loss of contact.
"Just...nothing really." Rick murmured and began walking again, avoiding Shane's eyes as he did. Shane called bullshit on that and jogged to catch up to his best friend.
"There has to be a reason why you brought it up, man." Shane said as he looked over at Rick, trying to get any hint as to what was going through his former partner's head.
"I'm afraid that if I tell someone something I'll loose them and I don't know if I could handle that because they're my world next to my son." Rick mumbled under his breath, hoping Shane wouldn't hear him, but unfortunately Shane had heard him.
"If they know how important they are to you, I honestly don't think you'll loose them just because you admitted your feelings." Shane replied with a soft knock of his shoulder against Rick's.
"Yeah, I s'pose you're right." Rick murmured softly and took a deep breath in. They walked for another ten minutes or so before Rick stopped Shane, grasping his arm softly.
"Shane..." Rick breathed as he searched his eyes for a sign of recognition, to see if he understood what was going on. There was something Rick saw, something he'd never seen before in Shane's eyes and it almost made him change his mind about telling him.
"You know I care for you, right?" Rick asked and dropped Shane's wrist, stepping away from him. Shane gave a soft chuckle and Rick felt his heart drop into his stomach almost painfully. Did he really think this was some kind of joke? Does he think this is funny? Rick asked himself doubtfully.
"I think the question should be: do you know how much I care for you?" Shane asked and Rick suddenly understood what he found so comical in the situation.
"I am aware, almost painfully so." Rick said and licked his lips once more, casting a glance down at the floor. Shane cocked his head to catch Rick's eyes, to see what he was feeling because after all the eyes are the window to the soul.
"Shane, I'm in love with you." Rick looked up into Shane's eyes and saw nothing, no emotion, just piercing green eyes. Rick backed off even more, his back hitting the wire fence.
"If you want me to pretend like these feelings don't exsist, I will. I couldn't go another day without you knowing though. If this ruins what's left of out relationship than so be it. I'm willing to risk losing you by telling you the truth." Rick knew he was rambling, but he couldn't help it because all the words that came out of his mouth were true. He was watching Shane carefully, trying to determine what he was going to do. They stared at each other for what seemed like hours, but Rick knew it was only a matter of seconds.
"Rick," Shane said with a soft voice and Rick couldn't help but think he was going to reject him. Why wouldn't he?
"Don't." Rick said because he couldn't face the hurt he would feel when Shane said he didn't want him, that their friendship was gone. Rick shook his head and continued to walk the perimeter of the farm. How could he be such an idiot and tell his best friend he was in love with him when he knew like hell he would never feel the same way? What was he thinking? Wait, he wasn't. Rick continued walking, ignoring Shane's calls for him to stop. He couldn't face Shane right now, not if he was going to hit him or something. Finally, Shane had it and gripped Rick's wrist and spun him around to face him.
"I don't want to-" Rick began, but was cut off by Shane's lips on his. It was soft, careful, almost like Shane thought he'd break Rick if he pressed any harder. Shane pulled back slowly, resting his forehead against the Sheriff's.
"You never let me respond," Shane said "I love you too." Before Rick could say anything more, Shane kissed him softly.
"I will not let anyone change that," Shane whispred and pulled Rick into a hug.
"Never."