Disclaimer: don't own 'em, wish I did more than all of you would realize
AN: Started out as a GaaNaru, thought it fit Sasuke's personality more...I'm not sure what I'm going to do with this fic...::wanders off in thought::
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Chapter One: The Full Moon
Sasuke shrugged his jacket on casually and grabbed his keys, stuffing them in his pocket and wandering out into the night. The wind was blowing; it was always blowing in winter. Luckily, the snow had abated, the white downy cold no longer drifting down in blanket. His feet moved of their own accord, for there was no place he wanted to go, no place to go.
He had become a wanderer of late, a rogue, no one loved, no one wanted, with no place to be. This was not new to him, but he had never before so openly embraced the concept of true freedom. A particularly forceful gust of cold air sliced down his neck, slipped down his neck like a lover's touch. He shivered against the contact, tugging his clothing closer to his body.
Footsteps fell behind him, and he dimly registered the approaching of two adults of medium build. His eyes skimmed their bodies as they passed him, stepping rather briskly. They were lovers, he knew. The sight of their hands on each other, clawing, and rasping, touching and pawing, formed a large lump in his throat. He swallowed, hard, and tore his eyes away. A queasy feeling mashed in his stomach, and he repressed it quickly. He would not admit to feeling jealousy.
The moon was full tonight, he noticed, glancing up at the sky; the cloud coverlet was thick, but where it broke, a glowing sphere shone down on him. He hissed at it through gritted teeth, feeling as though the perfect circle laughed at him with silent humor. He ducked his head, and urged his feet on, knowing he should be home, knowing he did not have one.
Tonight, he thought to himself, grim amusement arousing a smile on his lips. Tonight, I'm going to die.
He did not want to die, but there was nothing else for him to do. He had no point in life any longer, his soul had simply given up the will to continue.
Tonight...
It was always tonight, always the night of a full moon, when he would die, when he would walk until his feet would move no more. He would collapse, then, and stare at the sky until darkness overtook him. But he always felt a tug in his stomach, a purpose goading him on, that would not let him die.
Always he tried to die. Always he found he could not.
Always he would find strength to stand, always he would walk to the next town, or village, or farm house, or city. It didn't matter to him. He had failed death once more.
He had been born into wealth. He supposed that was why he hated money. It had its uses, he admitted bitterly each time he approached a teller and punched in his pin number. Each time he pulled out the bills and paid for the first apartment he could find with a one month lease. He didn't need more than a month. Full moon is every 28 days, after all.
The city he had stumbled into, dragging himself along the road as the sun rose, had been larger than most. He had sat on the steps of a bank, waiting until they opened, ignoring the stares of any who passed. A sort of sadistic, sinister pleasure awaited him, one he never tired of, when he told them his name.
Aghast and shocked, their amazement was plain at the disheveled raggedy young man with worn shoes before them. The insane amount of money he possessed never ceased to dazzle the mind. He always withdrew more than necessary, and never returned. He was, in his very essence, a runaway, and he would not be caught.
Always signing under false names, he would live in humble luxury for four weeks. He had no purpose, no reason to awake in the morning, but he did anyway, awaiting the next full moon. His heartbreakingly attractiveness promised him company, provided he did not truly look at the nameless fucks that wafted his way.
He could not remember their names afterwards; he had begun to realize the fact that he was merely a shell. He also realized there was no point in remembering the names of someone with her skirt above her legs. He lived for the moment, the here and now, knowing neither true pleasure nor true companionship.
So he had lived the last 5 years of his life, waiting only for the full moon, hoping he would finally succumb to his unbearable weariness and rest. So the full moon smiled down on him, laughing at him in her quiet, bitter way as his feet crunched the fresh snow leading out of the city.
Even the suburbs were widespread, he noticed irritably after several hours of walking. He would have to continue until he was well past all dwellings. He refused to die in the company of anyone but himself. The snow had begun to fall once more, though not in full force, merely sprinkling him with frost. His shoulders weighed a ton, and his feet had begun to bleed, the monthly wounds reopening.
The city lights, a glittering cap of brilliance and lies, had long faded away, being devoured by the ever-encroaching horizon. Even the small homes—farms and cabins—had seemed to disappear. A wolf howled in the distance, indicating he had already reached the forest.
The woods will be a good place to die, he thought grimly. His lungs burned with cold fire, and the lactic acid in his well-muscled legs had begun to pump through his system. He was out of breath—had been out of breath; he could not continue much longer.
Another break in the clouds cast milky light upon shining crystallized water. Sasuke was tired, oh so tired, and he wanted to sleep. A snow drift waited for him, the soft ice an inviting bed. He collapsed on top of the soft blankets, his head cradled by a frozen pillow.
His eyelids slid down, and he felt his body shut down. I've done it,he thought with a grin as sick pleasure flooded his body. I'm finally going to die. Damn you all...damn...everything...
And then he fell asleep, into a sleep from which he could not wake alone. He shielded his eyes against a blazing light. He felt warm, hot. Energy covered him in waves and lapped at his clothes. Blue eyes focused on him, blonde hair rippled, and a hand seized his. No...no, oh no...let me die, just this once, he begged. Let this agony end.
No.
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Sorry if that was confusing...hehe...it'lll all make sense later...