A/N: Hello, GG here! And I should be doing some sorta Supernatural fic. But, tis the season, so I'm gonna treat ye all to a wonderful Christmas fic that you can relate to! And this is double counting for a present for Zack. So teme, shaddap about not getting any Naruto oneshots outta me and read this. Got it? Good. So onward!
Disclaimer: On Kishi! On CLAMP! On Peach-Pit and Rikdo! On Shinya, on Yukiru, on Asada! On Ryukishi 07! Merry Christmas to all, and to all, I own nothing!
"Deck the halls with boughs of holly! Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la," Sang a very out of tune voice. It came from a girl with brown hair, putting finishing touches on a mountainous sized Christmas tree. How she had gotten it in there was a mystery to the common man.
"Tis the season to be jolly! Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la! Don we now our gay apparel! Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-Ow!" She shrieked, almost losing balance on the ladder she was using. "Alright, who the hell threw something at me?!"
"Me, now shut the hell up you idiot," came another voice from behind her. The girl turned around on the ladder to look behind her, only to instantly glare at the black-eyed black haired boy.
"Oh great, it's the bastard child of Scrooge and the Grinch. Just what I wanted for Christmas." She said sarcastically, climbing down the ladder.
"Put a stocking in it."
"How about I shove a fruitcake so far up your ass you'll be puking the fruits needed for the Valentine's Day candies?"
"How about I shove Christmas lights to fill that empty space between your ears?"
"How about I-"
"Sakura-chan, Sasuke and GG are making Christmas death threats!"A young blue-eyed blond said, peering into the room from the kitchen table where he currently sat with twenty other copies of him. In front of him was a box of catnip, placed in the center of strawberry decorated wrapping paper.
"I know Naruto, but as GG's said twenty times so far, Sasuke-kun's the bastard child of Scrooge and the Grinch. And she's just overly spirited when it comes to holidays, Christmas and otherwise."A young pink haired green-eyed girl replied. She was busying herself with creating gingerbread cookies in the shape of little rabbit-looking things and feathers.
"That's true, so very true."He said, and continued back to wrapping. Back in the room with the tree, Sasuke and GG continued their Christmas themed argument.
"I'll make sure you're visited by something worse than the three ghosts of Christmas!"
"Oh what, your mom?"
"Hey, that's pretty scary! Especially when she's pissed off."
"Whatever," Came his simple reply. Annoyed, GG just grabbed a ripe fruitcake and chucked it at him. It effectively landed smack dab on the back of his head, knocking him forward slightly.
"The hell was that for?!"Sasuke shouted, turning to glare at her while clutching his head. GG innocently grabbed an highly valuable looking vase shaped cookie, biting into it as if nothing happened.
"What? I didn't do-Incoming wooden spoon!"GG said, ducking quickly. Said wooden spoon landed in the wall, having been thrown with enough force to stay stuck into the wall.
"I told you to not eat those damn cookies! At least not until the people started coming!"Sakura shouted from the kitchen, already starting a new batch.
"But I like gingerbread cookies! Especially ones that remind me of fluffy things! Like Ouran High School Host Club!"
"I don't care!"
"Fine, but just for that I'm putting up more mistletoe!"GG shouted, storming off to do so. Just as she left, Naruto came into the room carrying an armload of wrapped packages.
"Oi teme, you know the designated piles?"Naruto asked, his face hidden behind the pile.
"Depends, which pile?"
"Let's see…I have a life vest for Excel, pills for Hyatte, purification tags for Rika, cream puffs for Hanyuu, and a big old chocolate chip cake for Najaran!"
"Shouldn't you know the signs that are put up?"
"You try wrapping package after package and then remembering where they go!"Naruto shouted, trying to keep balance to all the gifts. Sasuke sighed, and then just pointed to the tree.
"Somewhere over there, I really didn't bother to pay attention."
"Why, too busy trying to plot on how to get certain people under certain mistletoes away from other certain people?"
"Clan isn't gonna revive itself now is it?"
"Well when you put it that way-Wait what?!"Naruto shouted, starting to freak out. Unfortunately, this caused the pile of presents in his arms to effectively collapse, trapping him underneath.
"That better not have been what I just thought it was!"GG's voice yelled out, as she put mistletoe in obvious go straight to places.
"Uh, don't worry! It wasn't!"Naruto said, hurrying to collect all of the fallen presents and put them in their respective piles. Just as GG walked back into the room carrying an armful of wreaths, Naruto finished perfecting his mistake. "See? No dropping of anything here!"
"Good!"GG said, hanging a wreath from the wooden spoon in the wall.
"Why are you hanging a wreath there?"Sasuke asked, watching her decorate doors and such with the wreaths.
"Because stockings go by the fireplace!"
"Ooh, can we roast chestnuts over the open fire?!" Naruto asked excitedly, bouncing on his feet.
"If we have chestnuts, then of course!"
"Sweet! I'll be back shortly!"Naruto said, and had soon zoomed out the door. Sakura watched as he exited, sighing to herself.
"He forgot about the snow again, didn't he?"
"Jesus Holy Christ! It's so cold! And there's so much white stuff!"Naruto's voice shouted from outside.
"That's what she said!"GG shouted, laughing happily from Naruto's exclamation. Naruto came back inside, covered head to toe in snow and shivering madly.
"Dude! It's so cold out there! And the snow, it's so deep!"At this comment, GG stopped laughing.
"Deep snow? In this day and age?! What is the world coming to?!"GG cried out, running to look out the door. Sure enough, the snow was knee high, and there was still more coming. "Aw! No one's gonna trudge through this crap! Now what am I gonna do?!"
"Well, you could just spend Christmas with us, the people you love."Naruto said, gesturing towards him, Sakura, and Sasuke. GG gave him a look that obviously said he was crazy.
"Are you nuts?! I'd rather shove cookies up my ass and puke dough then do that!"
"But I thought we were your favorites!"
"Ha! You guys are just figureheads. My real favorites are people from Shugo Chara! And then after them are people from Higurashi. And after them are-Well you get the point. You guys are just way down the list nowadays."
"Then why the hell are we here?"Sasuke asked, annoyed that they could've been free from her insanity by now.
"Because every great person needs slaves to do her grunt work!"
"…So we're like Jessie and James from Team Rocket?"Naruto asked, raising his hand to be noticed.
"You're exactly like that! Except more successful in your missions to do things."
"Oh…Sweet! We're awesome!"
"Technically we were just insulted by being called slaves, idiot."Sasuke pointed out, growing more annoyed by the minute with all the holiday cheer and idiocy.
"Yeah, but we were just called the coolest slaves ever!"Naruto countered, giving Sasuke a glare.
"Enough! We must do something since no one will be able to make it the party tonight!"GG shouted, shoving Naruto back out into the snow despite his protests.
"And just how do you propose we do that?"
"Silly bastard, where there's a will there's a way!"
"Does there have to be?"
"When it comes to me, yes."
"I'm still wondering where the hell you got this."Sasuke grunted, pushing a heavy sleigh out into the snow. Sakura trailed behind him carrying a large sack full of all the presents for the party attendees and the cookies that had been made.
"The internet is such a wonderful thing!"GG shouted, spinning around in a circle under the snowfall. In harnesses waiting to be attached to the sleigh were Naruto and all his clones, acting as the reindeer to pull the sleigh. Sasuke finally finished in depositing the sleigh into the snow. "Great! Now Sakura, if you'd be kind enough to drop the sack into the back."
"Alright," Sakura said, immediately hefting the bag into the sleigh. GG then attached the harnessed Narutos to the sleigh, climbing into the driver's seat, whip in hand.
"Hey GG, I've got a question!"
"Fire away!"
"How're we going to get to all the houses?"
"…Kyuubi's chakra?"
"Eh?!"
"No time for arguments! Now mush!"GG shouted, and cracked the whip. It whacked the real Naruto on the head, causing him to immediately run with the clones following.
"This isn't fun anymore!"Naruto cried, running faster and faster to avoid being whipped.
"For you, it may not be. Now keep mushing boy!"GG shouted, keeping her whipping in at steady. "And you two little lovebirds better not start reviving while I'm gone!"
"Yes, because that's exactly what we do behind your back."Sasuke commented, sarcasm dripping with every word.
"Well I'm just making sure! Now on Naruto! On Kyuubi! On Miso and Pork! On Rasengan! On Jinchuuriki! On Hokage and Ramen! Merry Christmas to all!"
"And to all, someone help us!"The Narutos screeched, each having been whipped extra hard as she called out their nicknames.
"Pipe down! Your job is to drive this sleigh! Now do it!"
"We are!"
"Well then good! And Happy New Year!"GG shouted, and was soon gone off in the distance to deliver all her hard thought of Christmas presents to all the good little boys and girls she loved so. As Sakura watched her go off, Sasuke began to head back inside.
"Where are you going Sasuke-kun?"Sakura asked, after GG had driven off into the distance and out of her line of vision.
"I'm going to catch up on all the sleep that stupid idiotic bitch deprives us of."Sasuke grumbled, entering the warmth that the house provided in contrast to the bitter cold of the outside. Sakura shrugged, entering through the wide open door that she could only guess he had left open for her. After all, he wasn't one who would leave the door open under any normal circumstance, so why should now be different?
"Guess sleep deprivation and holiday cheer make for an odd combination in Uchiha brainwaves." Sakura thought to herself, closing the door to the house to keep the cold winter out.
A/N: Finished! With yet another Christmas fic! And guess what? A friend of mine, a real life Sasuke-bastard minus the extra portions of bastard, is having his birthday on Wednesday! Which is the day before Christmas Eve! So go forth and flood Azma27's inbox with many a Happy Birthday! And tell him that GG bribed you all with cookies that are as big as you to say that! Also, leave a review and receive your own miniature make shift Santa team! Until next time, Merry Christmas, Happy Ramadan, Kwanzaa, Hanukah, New Year, and JAA MATA!!