Kinda fast. I know. Sorry. keep up as much as you can, please? Really like this idea. :p
Tonight I'm gonna give you all my love in the back seat,
BUBBLE POP ELECTRIC
BUBBLE POP ELECTRIC
Gonna speed it down and slow it up in the back seat,
BUBBLE POP ELECTRIC
Uh-Oh, in the back seat
.Electric., Gwen Stefani
"Let's go party tonight!" My oh, so-called best friend yelled in my precious, beautiful, normal pierced ear that was attached to the most perfect head in the world. Of course, her being a blond haired, blue-eyed beauty queen four straight years in a row in high school, who wouldn't listen to this girl? I mean, she was perfect all over. Her beach blond hair that was french braided all the way down her back and leaning casually on her shoulder, her yellow summer dress hugging her hourglass type of body, her perfect nose, mouth, eyes, hair, ears, knees, stomach, elbow, nose hair, pupil, everything possible, screamed out 'I'm beautiful! Pay attention to me!'. Honestly, who wouldn't pay attention to her? She's a screaming, killing, beating machine that doesn't know how to shut the hell up.
Oh, wait a minute. I'm one of those people who can't ignore that mouth. That's right. Me. Her best friend since we were practically two. Yes, our mothers were best friends before that and were stuck together like glue, just like us. Apparently, my mother has some kind of gene for attracting loud, conceited, annoying, hypnotic, beauty queen winning, blond-haired women and passed that treacherous gene on to me because my best friend's like a leech on my skin-annoying and hard to get rid of.
"Ino, dear. Let me get this straight: We always had our annual clubbing night and drink until we're practically wasted, messed around with men who could never keep us, and now, we finally just moved in to our own place like, three minutes ago, decided to finally concentrate on our studies and not go clubbing anymore two minutes ago, and started putting our stuff away just a minute ago, and you want to go…clubbing?! Are you insane?! Scratch that, have you noticed how insane you truly are?! Because I have!" Yes, my insults are darker and deeper than that. I just said that because I was tired. When I'm pumped up, fear me because you'll be living in the darkness forever…
Ino Yamanaka-the she-devil's name-and I drove about three hours to finally arrive in our oh, so wondrous apartment that is a block away from the market that sells practically EVERYTHING. FEAR ME, MARKET! YOU WILL BE MOLESTED & RAPED BY ME TWENTYFOUR/SEVEN NOW THAT WE LIVE CLOSE TO YOU! BWAHAHAHA!
"Sakura, darling," oh, I could hear the sarcasm dripping from her precious-evilevilevil-mouth of hers, "we only have one week left before school starts and we haven't been to a party in ages! My lovely bones (by the way, great movie. Greater book!) are itching for some alcohol and my poor, beautiful pumps are stowed away in boxes, crying for me to wear them!"
"Pig, you went to a party last night (without me, may I add)." Oh, yes. QUEENBEE SAKURA: TWENTY MILLION! SLAVEDRIVE PIG: ZEROOO!
"I'll let you borrow my red shoes that match that oh, so sexy black dress you bought just a couple of days ago."
"Deal."
…
…
…
Welcome to my hellhole I call my life. Can I help it?! Those gorgeous shoes really know how to compliment my beautiful eyes and my lucious hair and my-
"Forehead, stop talking about body and replacing me with your name in your head!"
"BITCH! FEAR ME! FEAAAAR ME!"
"Mm…I'm hungry. Are you hungry? I'm hungry. There's a party in my tummy!" Che. Don't be jealous of my lovely song I made for my tumbbly I call 'mr. totobird'. He will eat you up, thank you very much.
"Sakura, shut up. You're freaky." My piggy is always jealous of-
"I'm not jealous of you. Stop telling yourself that in your little conversations you have with yourself."
"FEAR ME, YOU PIG! FEEEEEEEEAR ME!"
I finally realized something: I never introduced myself! Well, fine. I know who the hell I am and I always have these little conversations in my head to myself because…well, just because. ANYWAY, I'll introduce myself again because I am now a college student and will be the best damn student that will-in fact-rule this school.
My name is Haruno Sakura! Yes, yes. Keep in those cheers for later, my lovely darlings. I am a proud eighteen year old freshman in the most prestigious college, Konoha University. I have the most picturesque green eyes that shine like the star in the sky, and pink hair that beats your overused and overrated hair anytime, anyday. My body kicks your body's face and i'm sharing a two bedroom apartment with my dearest, darlingest (but toesucking weiner), Ino Yamanaka.
You see, Ino and I have been best friends since the very beginning, but we were never near each other since. She's lived in Kirigakure while I have lived in Sunagakure. We spent every single summer and school breaks together and we both got accepted to Konohagakure. I love her to death (though I will never, in my whole entire life, admit this to her no matter if I was dying).
"Oh, Sakura! Oh, woe is me! My dear best friend! In my will, I have decided to leave you my precious red dress that you love so much-"
"Wait, the all red one or the polka dot one?"
"Uh…polka dot?"
"Ew. I'm going to burn that crap."
"Okay! The all-red one. Jeez…"
"Score, baby."
"ANYWAY, red dress that you love so much, and my beautiful mirror that I never failed me and still hangs in my locker back at school-"
"Oh? I like that mirror, too. What's your locker number again?"
"Uh, I think four-fifty-two?"
"And locker code?"
"Two-twenty-two-fourteen. Not only that, I leave you my precious stack of nail polish-"
"Ew, not that yucky green one you love so much."
"-besides the yucky green one I love so much and my comfortable purple turtleneck I lost ages back and found a couple of days ago-"
"You bitch. That is the ugliest thing I've ever seen in my life. Burn it or I'll rip your eyes out."
"-because I am dying! I am melting down and I will never see the next day again and you'll have to bury me somewhere far, far away in a meadow (no cows, you billboard brow. And I swear if it's with pigs, I'll make sure your life is a living hell) of flowers of all kind and that you buy me the biggest stone there that shows a really nice picture of me-maybe that one of when we were on the beach and we asked that guy to do it for us and I was making that model pose as my hair flew this way and that and-"
"YOU'RE SUCH A SLUT! DO YOU STILL HAVE THAT PICTURE?! I WILL CHOP YOUR HEAD OFF MYSELF IF I EVER FIND THAT PICTURE! I LOOK LIKE A FAT TURTLE WITH A DOUBLE CHIN & NO NECK!"
"-and, oh honey. That wasn't a bad picture, that's how you always look. BEWARE OF FLYING OBJECTS! FLYING OBJEEECTS! WAAAAUGH! SAKURA, YOU WHORE!...i'm sorry. Forgiven? Forgiven! Anyway, I'm dying! This beauty queen will finally go up there where I will become the most beautiful thing on this planet and my beauty will live forever and-"
"Pig, I'm going to the market to buy us food. Shut up and fix your damn room."
"Oh, MY HERO! SAKURA, YOU BRAVE FIEND! YOU'RE RESCUING THE FAIR MAIDEN FROM HER DOOMED FUTURE TO MAKE SURE HER LIFE IS GRACIOUS AND WONDERFUL AND-"
"I better find that red dress in my closet when I come back."
"…how about I give you a five dollar bill so you can buy yourself some chocolate ice cream?"
"Deal…but I still want that mirror."
"You whore. I threw that shit away years ago."
"Uh-huh. That's why it's hanging right on your bedroom door right this second?"
"I WILL CASTRATE YOUR BODY WHEN YOU RETURN! BELIEVE IT!"