"Mighty Twelve Gods, I have emptied my thoughts so that I might pray to you. First, I give thanks to you for removing the irritating distractions and their endless blather from this prison. I was getting nowhere trying to meditate around them anyway.
I ask now that you help me to understand your divine will. I know you have a grand destiny in store for me, but for some reason it has recently become more difficult to see what it might be. I'm sure it was not your intent to send mixed signals, however.
I pray that you show me a sign - something that will tell me what my role is in this, our people's darkest hour."
Except in this world, the bars were never cracked. Miko remained in prison, never shattered the gate... and Xykon and Redcloak were killed by the ghosts of an army of paladins, their threat to the rifts ended forever. The Order of the Stick's adventures ended in Azure City, and there Elan had his happy ending. The rest of the Oracle's prophecies were fulfilled in some other way.
This is not that story.
One thousand years later...
The explosion rocked the center of the metropolis. Hundreds were killed instantly, thousands injured. And the worst part was... nobody knew why.
Days passed, weeks passed, months passed, and the investigation went nowhere. Somebody cast a shadow evocation trap in the middle of a bustling marketplace. But nobody saw who, or when. The mystery would remain unsolved, and after many years it was forgotten.
"-apples! Get your fresh apples here! Only-"
"-how much did you say? Twenty-five gold? Are you-"
"-garnet has been in my family for generations-"
"-dear, how have you been?"
"-look completely lost. Where are you-"
"Marie! The next batch of loaves, hurry up!"
"-time to eat lunch soon, do you want to come with me?"
"-give you twelve gold pieces and no more."
"-but I got turned around a bit, do you know-"
"-fresh from the oven, in fact."
"-most expensive diamond, opal, and sapphire. Guard them with your life, or-"
"-not even close to what it's worth-"
"-have raisins in them? I prefer-"
"-down that alleyway, turn left just before the city gate, then make your third right-"
"-you can't, at least come over for dinner, won't you, Elikia? I'm making-"
"-think I have a couple left in the back, let me-"
"-so that was my third right, then it's the fourth door-"
"-haven't seen you in ten years, Jirarde, how are you?"
"-if you do, I want at least three-"
"-good day! How is your family?"
"Did you see where the purse went?"
"-only two, I guess. Do you want-"
"-which raises the question of why-"
"-perfect scheme to make a thousand-"
"-a marvelous dish of rice-"
"-guy just appeared out of nowhere-"
"-up my offer to seventeen gold-"
"Stop thief!"
"-we had an agreement. An agreement that-"
"-as long as they don't find out that-"
"-fell sick three days ago, and we're very worried-"
"-for all your help. I'll see you in-"
"-he thinks he is. I always figured that eventually-"
"-see you tonight, then!"
"-was completely irresponsible of him, but that's what happens when you don't think long-term. I always said-"
"-and then we tell the guard that it's missing, at which point-"
"-doesn't seem like such a hot idea-"
"-could perhaps go down to twenty-"
"I think you'd better come with me, sir."
"-if he gets suspicious-"
"-good luck getting her to-"
"That's too expensive."
"-going to marry her next week. It's going to be in-"
"-I just won 10,000 gp. And soon-"
"-sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen. Here you go!"
"-said to her, don't look at me that way, your brother just told me-"
"-allow me to remedy that error now. Say hello to your barnyard gods for me."
Boom.