Time to Say Good Bye...
A fanfiction by Aoi Kitsukawa.
Disclaimer: Gakuen Alice is belongs to Higuichi Tachibana-sensei, I only borrow the characters in the manga. Please enjoy reading it!
Author's Note: Taking a break for a while from writing Yume..Ka's story. The ideas suddenly popped up during my class. It's not a humor story; let's says that we just read, then think, and decide. What if this situation falls into our life?
Summary: Losing his family, Kazumi was left with his brother's only child. As he attended the funeral of his family, he slowly recalling the pasts…
The hardest part of loving someone is knowing when to let go,
and knowing when to say goodbye.
It was raining.
In some part of the Tokyo, many people in black clothes were gathering at the small house, in some part of the neighbourhood in Tokyo. Some of them wore black suits; women wore black dress, kimono or suitable clothes for them.
It was a funeral day.
Everyone in the house, each person that came showed up expressed their love for the ones who had passed away, looking at the two coffins that lay in the middle of the house, covered with flowers. Many people came more and more; mostly the neighbours.
It was gloomy.
It was cold.
It was silent.
Among of the guests, a man with a pair of deep blue eyes and light blonde hair sat in front of the ancestor's altar, stared blankly. In his arms was a cute baby girl; slept peacefully in his arms without any disturb despite that many people were gathering and murmuring among them.
He was Yukihira Kazumi.
His face shown a sad expression, his deep blue eyes looked in pain each time he looked at the baby girl in his arms. He slowly raised his head when he heard a soft footsteps walking towards him.
"Principal?"
A young man in middle 20s and wearing glasses looked at him with concern. His brown hair moved together as he walked to Kazumi and sat down next to him. Following him from behind was several children; mostly in 6-9 years old. They also looked sad, and some of them were crying.
"The preparation is already done, principal," He said.
"It is, Jinno-sensei?" Asked Kazumi, his voice cracked.
The man named Jinno nodded his head, although his face also shown a pain expression just likes Kazumi. Kazumi did not say anything; instead he slowly rose up and walked away.
Jinno and the children looked at each other as they also following him. Jinno realized that the rain was showing no sign of stop, so he grabbed an umbrella and quickly walked next to Kazumi. Kazumi already took a blanket to cover the baby, and then he walked away with Jinno to join together with other people, to pay some respect for the people who already rest forever.
It was a funeral for his little brother, Yukihira Izumi and his wife Azumi Yuka.
As the priest enchanted his prayer, the little baby in Kazumi's arms was starting to wake up and cried a little. Kazumi gently patted the baby's body as he tried to sooth her. Mrs. Imai Ruiko; Kazumi's neighbour, who coincidentally sat next to him saw Kazumi and the baby. She helped him as she changed the baby's position so that she could lay comfortable in Kazumi's arms.
She then looked at Kazumi as she said, "What is her name?"
"Mikan…" He answered, slowly.
"What a nice name," She said. "She's the same age as my daughter Hotaru."
Kazumi just nodded his head. It seemed that baby Mikan had fallen asleep again, as Kazumi could hear her slow breathing. Kazumi felt that by looking at the baby's face had makes the pieces of his broken heart crack even further.
It was Izumi's daughter; his only family left after her parents died in car accident.
Kazumi closed his eyes; tried his best to suppress the tears as he slowly recalled what had happen in his life until now…
(Kazumi's POV)
He was born when I was 12.
It was in the cold November, the first if I'm not mistake. I was on the way home from school when I saw my father ran frantically towards me. Feeling weird, I came to him as he grabbed my shoulders and said that we need to go home fast.
My mother was about to give birth.
Both of us nervously ran back to our house where some of our neighbours were already gathered there, the women were trying their best to calm down my mother who was already in pain. She screamed and calling my father and me as both of us quickly came to her side.
As we took her to the hospital, I was praying that both of my mother and baby brother will be alright. When mother was taken into the labor room, only father was allow to accompany her, while I had to stay outside although I am their son. One of our neighbours- Mr. Imai Sahara accompanied me all the time.
I fell asleep while waiting for my mother and father to come out. I only woke up when Mr. Imai shook my body and told me that everything was alright. I could hear a sound of crying baby, and then the door opened, revealed my father with a baby in his arms.
That was my baby brother, Izumi…
My beloved brother.
Izumi's birth was like giving us a new light in our life. He was adorable child; his eyes were lively blue eyes and his smile was so innocent (although he's just been born). His hands were warm, and I still remembered when my parents took him home from hospital, he grabbed my finger when I was about to touch his nose (since Izumi was so cute!). He giggled a little as he thought that I was his father.
But it doesn't matter, as long as he could live and grew up as a happy and healthy child, I am willingly to take care of him. I was so happy since I was the only child in the family, I always felt alone. Now I had a brother, and one day we could play together. That was what I thought in my mind.
Everyday when I watched my baby brother grew up into an adorable young boy; I cannot help but felt protective over him. It was true that he somehow was a little brat; always annoying me because of his naughtiness. However, every time I came home and he quickly approached me at the door and said 'Welcome home, aniiki' to me with his carefree smile, I can't help but hugged him. His smile always threw away my cloudy thought, always made me felt relaxed, always made me felt happy. I really whished that this kind of life would never changed, forever and ever.
But life was not always following our wishes.
We lost our parents several years later.
Both my mother and father were killed in the bus accident, which the bus that they took that time was accidentally slipped and fell into the cliff. It was raining, and the road that the bus driver took was wet and under maintenance. Even the bus driver drove it slowly and carefully, some part of the road had holes and he accidentally went over it. He lost control and the whole bus was thrown into the cliff.
The witness who saw the accident was a car driver who followed behind the bus and saw the whole incident. He quickly called for help as at the same time he also tried to give help to the victims, but it was too late.
None of the passengers or the driver was surviving.
Including our parents.
That what was the police told me, when they came to our house and told us about the sad news.
I was 18 when my parents passed away, and Izumi was six.
During our parents' funeral, Izumi cried all day. He was just a small boy; he did not know or understand why our parents were laid in the coffins, which were put in the middle of our house, covered with flowers. They silently closed their eyes.
Many neighbours were paying visits and respects for our late parents. Imai Kyouhei, my friend and neighbour came to visit as he return from his abroad school. I was trying to calm down myself, as I know, as a brother and the eldest son in the family; I cannot show up my weakness.
I have to be strong. I have to keep my sadness in control; I cannot be weak, either in mental or physical. I can't show my weakness, or tears.
But how long I can pretend to be strong if my baby brother kept on asking and crying over our parents' death bodies?
How long?
Izumi kept on asking me why our parents did not wake up. Why did they lying together in the wooden boxes (since he did not know that it was coffin)? Why they did not move at all? Why their faces and bodies were bandage and scratches?
Why? Why?
Izumi kept on asking me with tears strained down his face. There was no way I could pretend to be strong anymore. As our neighbours carried our parents' coffins to the graveyard, Izumi was about to run towards them, trying to stop them from taking our parents away from us. I was able to catch him, and held him tightly in my arms.
I was crying as I held my brother to the graveyard.
Watching everything in sorrow, I felt that I no longer…be the usual me. No more laughing voices in our house, no longer the sound of my mother making dishes in the kitchen, or my father's voice calling us home in the evening.
Holding hands together, both I and Izumi walked home during sunset, leaving our parents' graves behind, together with Kyouhei and his family…
And I know it was the time to say good bye to our late parents…
Several years later, I was working as a teacher in Alice High School. Ever since I started working here, I realized that I was attracting the attention of the female students. At first, I felt weird why they kept staring at me. It was until one of the teachers named Hii (everyone called her as Hii-sama since she was originally from very noble and rich family) told me that it was because of my appearances that made them like that.
I was sweat dropped as I heard her words. I mean, like I care with my appearances more than my life.
Life must be going on, no matter what happened.
I was 22 and Izumi was 10. It had been four years since our parents passed away.
Ever since my parents passed away, I was the one who need to take care of my family, Izumi I mean. He was no longer the cheerful, energetic young boy that I used to know. He rarely smiled, although he was still the same carefree boy that he used to be. He always shut himself in his room, rarely spoke to me. He never told me what had happened in his school life, even if I spotted him sometimes that he returned home with bruises and scratches, and sometimes with bleeding mouth.
He kept on living like that up until now, and I don't know what to do.
What kind of teacher or rather, a brother am I if even I cannot understand or know my own brother?
I was struggling with my own self; how long I should be like this? It was too tiring and painful, to live like this. I loved my brother, and I don't want him to be suffering anymore. But what about my own life? Should I sacrifice my own brother just for the sake of my own life?
Was I was too scare to face the reality? The fact that I was too scare to face my baby brother, asked him why he did not want to talk to me like we used to be, before our parents passed away? Did I lose my courage to face the fear in my life? What should I do to escape from this guilty and regret feelings?
I really hate myself…
After such a long thought, with encouragement from my friends; Hii-sama and the other teachers, I decided to face with Izumi. I waited for him to come home patiently, since I know, he always returned home when the sun is set.
Like the time when we returned home from our parents' graves, four years ago.
And I never regret it, since it finally gave back my baby brother, who actually wanted to talk to me for such a long time.
When he returned home, I was shock to see him in beat up state. But what made me surprise more was that he returned home with a FRIEND. His name is Jinno and he was Izumi's classmate.
Form Jinno I finally got what I wanted to know. At school, Izumi was a silent and loner child, but he would not hesitate if someone needed his help; Jinno was one of them. Many girls liked him because of his 'cool' personality, which at the same time, causing him to have many enemies. Since Jinno was the only one who always helped him after the fights, Izumi begged him to not telling me about what had happened to him.
I met with Izumi and asked him what had happened, although I already know. He silent for a while, and finally, he spoke to me, but with tears that strained down his face. He said that after our parents passed away, he always felt lonely. At the same time, he felt that I was distancing myself from him and did not want to talk with him.
His words made me realized my mistakes.
I realized that Izumi was still the old Izumi that I know, except that he was a sensitive child right now. I hugged him and said sorry, as I also cried. It was so long, I had to admit that I really missed him; I really missed my baby brother Izumi.
I finally got my family back.
And I know it was not the time to say good bye to each of us yet…
I was hesitating to say this matter to my baby brother Izumi, who was already 14 years old and in his second year of middle school. I did not even thinking about it in my life, but when I tried to think about it in positive way, I felt so embarrassing!
It was Hii-sama's suggestion that I should get married. Considering that my age is already 26, and Izumi was already in teen age, she said that I should have a wife so that our life could be more…consistent? She said that two men living in the same house sometimes cannot able to take care of the household. When she said about that, I cannot deny the fact that what she just said was true…
Hii-sama was actually concern with our life (well yeah, there's a time when Izumi was terribly ill and I had to skip from work for two weeks since nobody can take care of him at hospital) so she suggested to me to get married. Although she said it was only HER SUGGESTION, but I could feel that she was trying to be my matchmaker for finding a wife for me! (Sweat drop)
Hahaha…I cannot deny that sometimes I looked up on Hii-sama as my elder sister.
When I told this matter to Izumi, I thought Izumi must be viewed it in negative way, but I was wrong. He actually happy with it, and he also mentioned that he always wanted me to have someone special in my life (sounds weird to me).
At first, I did not understand why he said like that, and then Izumi told me that ever since they lived together, I was too busy in improving our life, taking care of him (Izumi) and my work as a teacher. I always thinking only about Izumi's future, and seemed not interesting in seeking for relationship. His words made me blushing, as I finally realized that my life style was only focused on Izumi and our daily life only.
Izumi laughed madly when he saw my reaction, and in the end I knocked his head with my fist!
Bloody irritating!
At the same time, my friend Imai Kyouhei introduced his girlfriend to me; a gentle and kind woman. I congratulated him for having someone special in his life, causing him to ask me when I wanted to get married. When I said I don't know, he said that I shouldn't ignore the feeling inside me (what feeling?). As a man, he said, they also had a feeling to love and being love, not just remained single for the rest of their life (somehow I think that he was trying to encourage me to get married. How annoying!).
He proudly said that he wanted to get married in two years, but first he wanted to see me married first. I chased him around the park (we're met in the park) as he kept telling me that he will ask someone to help me find a wife. How annoying. But I had to admit that whenever he said like that, I felt that there was something empty in my self.
Is it true that everyone also wanted to love and being love, including myself?
Marriage was a sacred union between man and woman, with commitment, love and responsibility. It was a life with each other for the rest of our life until death tore us apart. It was not to fulfill the biological need or for having child only. I don't want to make mistakes in my life, but I knew that I cannot stay single anymore. Both I and Izumi needed someone in our life too.
In the end, I was finally married.
My marriage was arranged by Hii-sama, but either Izumi or I did not against it. I know it sounded strange, but the first time when I met Shizuru; Hii-sama's blood relative and my wife-to-be, I felt my heart was beating faster and my blood rose on my face. She was just a simple young woman, shy and kind, but why I felt like something was gone within me whenever we left after each meeting? When I told Kyouhei, Jinno and Izumi about it, all of them told me that I must be fall in love with her! Just when the three of them did were good friends?
Maybe that was what people called as love at the first sight, and I had it with my own wife. I cannot deny the fact that I was in love with Shizuru; she also felt the same thing too. She said that during our first meeting, she was attracted to me; not because of my appearance but because it was me. Somehow, she felt that I was a loner, but at the same time, I had my own gentle side.
That was what Shizuru had told me; I honestly don't know whether what she said was true or not.
We had our first child on the following year. Izumi and Jinno went to my school frantically and said that my wife was in labor. I was assistant principal that time, but like a normal father-to-be, I was so nervous that even the principal had to calm me down before he took us to the hospital. My wife gave birth to a beautiful son, which I named him Ren. Izumi was so happy since he had a cute nephew, and yet asking me why I named him over flower name (Ren is the boy name of Lotus).
I did not telling him the reason, since Ren reminded me of someone who had the same beautiful as Lotus flower. I was happy; it had been a long time since our parents passed away. Izumi was also happy, as during his graduation ceremony he happily accepted his scroll, with Kyouhei, me and my family attended his ceremony and we took a picture together. He was holding his baby nephew, and said that he was really hoping that the happiness that he felt right now will be stay forever. I just nodded my head, but deep inside of my heart, I also wishing the same wish. After that, Kyouhei married his girlfriend Ruiko several days later.
But life is always cruel.
When Izumi was 17, once again I lost my family. This time, it was Shizuru and Ren.
I was involved in car accident. Before that, we just returned from visiting Kyouhei and his wife at the hospital; the couple just had their first son named Subaru. Since I was not feeling well that day, I asked Shizuru to drive the car while I sat on the passenger seat and Ren at the back.
The car that my wife was driving was being hit by another car that came from the opposite side. Apparently the car driver wanted to cut through the bus in front of him but he did not know that our car was on the road. He could not able to control his car and hit us instead.
Our car's break went out and swirled towards the side, hitting against the railing on the side of the road. It was end by our car crushed against the trees, with me who was throwing forward and my head strongly hit the glass window and the door. The door was open, at the same time, my seat belt was tore apart, and I fell on the ground. I don't know what happened after that; my whole body and head were aching and weak. I only prayed that both of my wife and son were safe, as I slowly lost my consciousness.
However, I was the only solo survivor…
Shizuru was dead on the scene; she was badly injured and she lost a lot of blood that she died immediately. Ren was hit hardy at the back seat and suffered from bleeding in his brain, and died three days later. I was throw out from the car, but miracle, I was still alive. I broke my left hand and right leg, my head swollen due to the hard impact that I received that time, bruises and scratches.
When I woke up and the doctor told me about this, I could not do anything but just stared blankly with eyes that looked like a dead man…
…It should have been like this.
Izumi came after he was been informed by Kyouhei about the accident that fell on me, killing my wife and son. He just finished his last paper of final exams; he quickly went to the hospital with tears on his eyes and hugged me. He cried as he said to me, don't leave him again. He was already lost his sister-in-law and nephew; his family. He only had me, he don't want to lose anyone again. I already lost my family but still, I had Izumi, which was what he said to me.
His words made me realized that I was still alive, but still, the pain of losing someone that you love was very painful that it leaved the scar that would never heal for the rest of your life. All I could do was silently crying. I felt so hopeless; I felt that I was curse. I would never be able to get happiness for the rest of my life.
And I had to say good bye once again, to my wife and son who were rest in peace forever and never return again…
Seven years had passed since the accident that sacrificed my wife and son.
During those times, I was being support by my baby brother Izumi, who later grew up and worked as a young teacher in Alice Elementary School. Together with him was his friend Jinno who always be with him for 14 years despite of their quarrels and fighting (I wonder how can they be such a good friend in such 'weirdo' way?). Right now, Izumi was married to his lover who also was his own junior-Azumi Yuka.
Yuka was my former student when she, Jinno and Izumi enrolled into the same high school where I was pointed as a principal of Alice High School. Izumi was the usual Izumi; still vibrant, cheerful, happy go lucky and pure innocence was best to describe him, but at the same time he was also a pervert (he always flirting with the girls and I only knew his pervert side when he was a high school student!). Unlike Izumi, Yuka was silent, loner, quite an intelligent (I wonder why Izumi's grades were totally…idiot?), but Izumi found out that she was special in his own way, much to my surprise.
Izumi had been there when her parents died, shunned away by her friends and was practically an outcast among her friends until he took her in. Despite their two years age differences, they complemented each other very well. Since he had taught her most of the survival skills for the outside world, she had always called him sensei instead of calling him onii-san. Inevitably, they grew fond of each other and fell in love.
As Izumi's brother, there was nothing more that I wanted in my life, except for Izumi's happiness. Nothing more and nothing less.
I watched Izumi grew up to be a tall and handsome man, got married, and had a beautiful daughter named Mikan. Just like Izumi, Mikan's birth once again was like giving us a new light in our life. She who inherited her mother's lively brown eyes, she looked like Izumi when he was a baby. She was such an adorable child; Izumi joked that he did not want Mikan to get married since she was so cute. My answer was a knock on his head, causing Yuka, Hii-sama, Kyouhei and his family and Jinno sweat dropped.
Hmp, who said that I am not concern and overprotective with my only niece?
Life is complicate, and I cannot deny the fact.
Ever since the incidents that took away many of our beloved people away from Izumi and I, I could only whished silently; prayed that nothing would be happened to Izumi and his family. He was my light; my own life and I cannot bear to lose someone who was so important to me, ever again.
No matter how hard I tried, it seemed that the wheel of fortune had never let me grasp it after all.
And I once again lose everything; everything had been stealing from me.
Izumi finally left me alone…
He and his wife were involved in terrible accident where the car that Izumi drove crashed against a trailer. It was raining when Izumi and Yuka, who were return from hospital for visiting a friend there drove back home and then involved in accident.
Both of them died on the spot.
I received the news from Jinno who also went to visit the friend at the hospital and followed them from behind. According to Jinno, the road was wet and mist, making Izumi's car slipped into another side of the road before the trailer hit them.
I was faint after that. No. Not again. Not Izumi…
Why it must be him? Why it must be Izumi?
Why?
When I woke up, Kyouhei and Jinno were at my side, trying their best to calm me down. Both of them, especially Kyouhei knew that I probably crumbled after such incidents that happened in my life, once again hit me that badly. I cried as Kyouhei tried to comfort me, until I heard a sound of crying baby, and realized that Mrs. Ruiko was holding a baby girl in her arms.
She was Yukihira Mikan.
Izumi's daughter…
My only niece and family in this world…
Right now, standing in front of two digging holes, I watched in silent as the people were burying my baby brother and his wife together in the hole. I did not feel like crying, and yet, I was suspect that I was actually crying. Jinno who stood next to me, was holding an umbrella and say nothing. I understood that he also just like me; he lost his friend whom he knew for 14 years. Despite of their quarrelling and fighting, they always together, always close with each other.
It was hard to say good-bye to someone that we love…
"What do you want to do, sensei?"
A female voice came from my back as I slowly turned around and saw a woman in nearly 30s, with a pair of black eyes and long black hair that tied up in bun stared at me. She was actually one of my former students, who were a teacher in middle school. She walked next to me with umbrella in her hand, sighed in silent.
"Do you want to slip yourself into depression? Again?" She asked.
"I don't know Akie…" I said.
She just closed her eyes for a while, and then looked at me with determine in her eyes.
"Don't give up."
Both Jinno and I looked up to her.
"Life can be so cruel, but we have to remember…"
I stared at her with strange feeling in my heart.
"We are given with such limited time, in such limited body…" She said as she looked at me.
"You're not alone, sensei. You still have Mikan. That child needs you as much as you need her," Said Akie as she brushed her hand on Mikan's heard.
"Why don't you use the time that you still have in your life to teach Mikan many things other than sadness?" She said as she looked into my eyes. Her eyes looked pain.
"It's true that to let go the people that we love is really hard, but sometimes we need to accept the fact that they already moved on," She said.
"And there will be the time that we need to say good bye to them," She wiped her eyes as all of us looked the graves in front of them, which was wet by the rain.
As if, she also had the same pain as me.
"I'm sure that the answer to what is fortune and what is unfortunate…"
"Was beyond the human's grasp."
I was speechless. True. What she told me just now was right. I should not abandon everything and let myself into deep sadness and despair. I still had Mikan; Izumi's child, my only family and blood relatives in this world. I am not alone; many people were still with me, regardless the misfortune that happened in my life several times.
I am not going to give up.
As I walked away from the graveyard with Mikan in my arms, I slowly stopped my movement and turned myself again at the place where Izumi and Yuka were rest in peace. It was already dark outside, and the sun was set. The scenery in front of me made me reminded about the memory of Izumi and I walked away from the same place where our parents were buried, holding hands together as the sun was set.
I know it was hard, and I know, it was painful to let go and to know when to say good bye. But life must be go on, and I promised to myself that no matter what happened, I would raised Mikan, the only mark in the world that Izumi and Yuka had left for me, and the others as well.
Silently let go of my breath, I looked at the silent place in front of me as a single tear fell down on my face, and held my baby niece closer to me. Jinno and the others were waiting for me at my back.
"Good bye, Izumi. Until we meet again…"
With that, I continued my way to the others, as the gentle breeze went against my body and flew away…
It was the time to say good-bye.
Complete. I finally finish this story that the ideas were suddenly popped up while I was listening to my lecture in the class. Since this is not a humor story, I really hope if any of the readers could review and give the comment about this story.
Honestly, I had to say that I never writing a story like this. Although I did make it in other categories, but from the first point of view is not what I always do. I even felt sad whenever I reread this story (to make sure no mistakes actually) so I hope I did not make any of you feel sad. I'm sorry if I do, but I really hope you can read this story. Sometimes we need to think something like this right.
We will meet again in the future. Please enjoy reading this story. Ja ne. –Aoi Kitsukawa.