A/N: This right now is just a one-shot dealing with Snape's feelings about what he did. HBP spoilers. I may eventually turn this into a full-fledged fic. I dunno. I have ideas.
Disclaimer: I do not own Severus Snape or any other Harry Potter character. : pouts :
I despise having to be here and pretend like I'm on his side. But that's my job and I'm going to do it well. No matter what happens, I'll keep getting information from him, even if it costs me my life. God knows I deserve to die.
I loath the fact that the Order hates me. I may never rejoin their ranks, but what I did was as necessary as gathering information. They'll get over it eventually.
I can't stand that Harry may never speak to me again. Yes, he is an insufferable brat and he's always hated me, but everything I've done for the past sixteen years I've done to protect him. I just want to tell him that.
I despise how all the Death Eaters congratulate me on a job well done. They don't know how much it hurts me to know that I have their approval.
I loath these emotions coursing through my body. Emotions are a weakness and I've always suppressed mine.
I hate that the one man who understood me is gone. He was the only person I could feel emotion around and not feel weak. Now I'll never be that way again.
But mostly I hate myself for what I have done, taking the most amazing person ever to live away from the world and leaving it a worse place.
My life is filled with one thing:
Loathing.
A/N: Please tell me what you think!