Hey, hope you guys are all having a nice Christmas and New Year! This is a gift for a secret santa event I took part in on tumblr for 49thpersona, hope you like it!
Fandom: D Gray Man
Pairing: Lavi/Allen
Song the fic was written to: Coffee by Yutaka Yamada
The world was hushed into silence by winter's icy grip, air heavy and bitter with cold as the snow continued to fall. Nothing stirred outside the frosted window to Lavi's right, and all he could see out into the distance was an endless white interrupted by the withering bark of deadened trees. The world seemed empty, but quiet, and a great sense of calm entered his heart and remained there as he sat, quietly reading, head resting against the cold windowpane.
The others had gone out for a walk in the snow a few hours before, wrapped up in so many layers they looked more than a little ridiculous. Komui had given Lenalee so many items of clothing to wear for her walk that she had to give them out and share them amongst the others. Johnny and Krory had also lovingly made everyone jumpers a week or so before, and it was the first opportunity they had to wear what they'd been given, and so they left the Order almost too prepared for the cold weather outside. Lavi was also wearing his, despite not joining the others for their wintertime walk - he'd been given a bright orange monstrosity that was covered in rabbits, and Bookman's face when he saw it was so full of irritation that Lavi keeled over laughing. Once he thought he had calmed down he heard Allen make a choking sound, and looked over to see him and Lenalee holding their stomachs and crying at Kanda's face of disgust as Krory and Johnny jointly tried to force him into his jumper, and Lavi ended up joining them and laughing so hard his stomach hurt. He smiled at the memory, and rubbed a thumb absentmindedly against the soft wool of his jumper.
He would have joined them - since the opportunity to throw snowballs at unsuspecting people was too tempting to resist - but he had spent all night writing up a record for Bookman, and found he had little energy for trudging through the snow. Allen and Lenalee had given him joint expressions of concern when he turned down their request to join them, but he smiled and waved it off as always, and felt a tiny pang of guilt at unnecessarily worrying them. Perhaps it was a little out of character for him - or, at least, it was out of character for Lavi - but he was too tired to ponder on it, and so he retreated to his room. He had intended to curl up into warm blankets and sleep the day away but found his mind was restless, and so he gathered up his blanket and sat by the window with a book in hand.
He had chosen Christmas Books by Charles Dickens to be his companion for the day. It was a compilation of five stories about the Christmas season, of which A Christmas Carol became the most well-known of the five. Lavi had never been a religious person, nor cared much for Christmas - he and Bookman had never celebrated it, and Lavi did not have fond memories of the 25th of December - but since being at the Order he had found some enjoyment in the time of year nonetheless, and Dickens' writing was enjoyable enough that he could ignore his inner bitterness towards it all, if only by a little. The 25th was also Allen's birthday, and though Allen always insisted they didn't have to do anything for it they all prepared a feast and a large frosted cake for the occasion - or, at least, Jerry did most of it and they got in his way - and so Lavi joined in and smiled and enjoyed himself, and when he returned to his room later that evening he would sink into his bed and sigh, heavily, exhausted from it. And later, as darkness fell and night drew upon them, he would hear the quiet creak of his door, soft footsteps against the wooden floorboards, and feel the bed creak as a person sat by his side, and ruffled his hair gently before clambering behind him and curling up against his back.
Allen had slept beside him every year on his birthday since Lavi had known him, and he did not know if it was for comfort - since Allen found himself thinking often of Mana on that day - or whether he felt that Lavi would understand the most about feeling weary and exhausted from smiling and pretending. He did not know the reason, and he did not ask, and so they kept their little tradition and felt comforted by it. It was what Lavi loved, and hated, about Allen Walker - the little gestures, the slight brushing of a hand against his as they walked beside each other, the small smiles and understanding looks and the quiet patter of a heartbeat against his chest as Allen's head rose and fell against his shoulder with each breath. And he found himself comfortable with it, despite all the doubts and misgivings that he had had from their first meeting. He felt no guilt because of it, unlike many other things, but he also knew that these quiet moments would be what he would miss the most, if he had to leave.
As that thought came to mind he gripped the book tightly between his fingertips, page crinkling, and as he gazed out the nearby window with a darkened expression he shook his head, and weary acceptance hid his heavy burden from him. He had not realised that he had fallen asleep until a gentle hand shook him awake, and as his eye blearily opened to a now darkened room lit by a solitary candle, he turned his head to see a gentle smile and a steaming mug of coffee.
"Thought this was where you would be. Here."
Allen handed Lavi the mug, and as he took it into his hands he felt its warmth seep through his fingertips, and it soothed him. As he brought the cup close to him, revelling in the warm feeling it gave, he felt a hand softly run through his hair and he leant into the touch, eye closing.
"Quiet day?"
"Quiet day."
Silence, and as the room fell still and the warmth of heated ceramic and Allen's fingertips against his shoulder permeated through him, Lavi felt himself smile - it was a small upturning of the lips, so quickly unnoticed, and so very unlike the broad happy grins he usually gave, and the others had soon learnt the difference. After a while Lavi laughed quietly, and smiled as he raised the steaming mug to his lips.
"It's nice, having days like this, though it would've been nice to shove snow down Yuu's coat, just to see his face."
Allen smirked. "Oh don't worry I made sure to shove snow in Kanda's hood every time he wasn't looking. He pulled a face like this -" he did his best possible expression of absolute disgust, and Lavi had to try hard to avoid choking on his coffee "- and whenever he tried to attack me Marie and Krory would threaten to carry him and dump him upside down in a snow drift."
"So it was worth nearly being murdered then?"
"Isn't it always?"
They both laughed, and as they fell silent once more Allen suddenly smiled and grabbed Lavi by the hand, drawing him up from his comfy abode and up on his feet.
"Oi Allen I was comfy."
"Stop whining and put your coat on. You've been sat here -" he grabbed Lavi's hat and shoved it on his friend's head, smiling as Lavi tugged the hat to a comfortable position and pulled a face "- reading and being mopey all day. Let's go for a walk, I wanna show you something."
Lavi frowned. "But didn't you just get out of the snow? You'll catch a cold if you're not careful."
"I'll be sure to take care of myself. And who said we were going outside outside. Let's go."
"And you say I'm the annoying demanding on- oi that hurt!"
They headed out from Lavi's room and into a darkened hallway, and up the nearby flight of stairs. Allen grabbed hold of Lavi's arm and pulled him along, footsteps echoing against the polished floor below, and all Lavi could do was follow - partially unwilling, but curiosity also burned brightly within him and he couldn't not know what Allen wished to show him - as they walked up up and further up, until they reached the highest floor of the Order. It was deadly silent, since the only thing you could find on the upper floor were storage cupboards and empty rooms, and the further they walked into dust and darkness the more Lavi felt confused at what Allen was intending. As Allen turned left sharply, opening a door with a creak of rusted hinges, Lavi found himself in a musty old room full of plastic-protected furniture and a single chest sitting all alone in a darkened corner. He turned to his companion and raised an eyebrow.
"Allen, why are we -"
"Open the chest."
Lavi blinked then shrugged, knowing Allen's stubborn expression too well to do anything otherwise, and as he lit a nearby candle and walked towards the chest, knelt down, and peered at it a moment before lifting it open - it was surprisingly heavy - he found it was full of books. Every inch of his being immediately lit up, and Allen laughed quietly as he watched Lavi take out each and every book to admire and comment on it.
"Logic, The Crimes of Love, The Count of Monte Cristo, oh and The Gold Bug too. And that's Elective Affinities, not a big fan of Goethe though. Oh and Marmion's here, but its cover is ruined, I mean how could someone keep books in a chest anyway, the pages get all damp and mouldy. They could at least have kept them on a shelf or someth- oh is that The Brothers Karamazov? I've been trying to find that for ages, Allen come look at -"
"I know I've been through it. Couldn't recognise half the titles and thought you'd be the one to ask."
Lavi looked up at his companion and smiled, brightly and full of happiness.
"This is a goldmine Allen, how did you find this?"
Allen suddenly looked sheepish, and Lavi tried not to grin at the thought of future blackmail. "Well, let's just say Link was driving me insane and I went for a long walk. It took him three hours to find me, it was worth it to hear him stomping up and down the hallway and muttering to himse- are you even listening?"
Lavi had begun to read a book and Allen huffed before walking forwards and prodding a finger into his friend's forehead. Lavi simply turned a page, completely engrossed. Allen sighed before slumping down beside him, looking over his shoulder to read until he became bored. After a while he rested his head on Lavi's shoulder, and the steady rise and fall of each breath comforted him, as it did on the lonely night of the 25th each year. As silence drew upon them, and the flickering candle flame gave dancing shadows against the nearby wall, Allen smiled and spoke with softness in his voice.
"Say, Lavi."
"Hmm?"
"Can we… do this again?"
Lavi stopped reading and turned his head, watching Allen's expression carefully as it danced between different emotions, and smiled gently before resting his head against his companion's and sliding a hand gently into Allen's own.
"I'd… I'd like that a lot, actually." He paused, heart pattering nervously against his ribcage before he spoke, laughing as he did so. "But let's bring blankets next time, it's freezing up here."
Allen laughed, and interlaced his fingers between Lavi's and smiled warmly.
"Sure, and snacks too." Allen's stomach grumbled to accompany his words and Lavi snorted derisively before Allen shoved an elbow lightly into his side. "Shut up, you're just as hungry Mr. Silent Stomach."
"Sure sure whatever you say. What about Two Spot though? Won't he get mad and think we're plotting some evil plan to destroy society?"
"Oh I'll make sure to send him on a wild goose chase so we don't get badgered by him. Tim's been getting good at doing that, though… not so much lately…"
Allen paused, expression darkening in memory of his recently fallen master - though Lavi seriously doubted the general had died so easily - and after a moment of silence Lavi shut the book in his lap and stood, pulling Allen to his feet.
"Let's go downstairs, I'm freezing my butt off up here. Let's get some food and come back later, or tomorrow or somethin' okay?"
Lavi grinned, full of warmth, and Allen returned it with a small smile. As they walked away, fingers gently interlaced together, the feeling of peace that they found in that dusty attic room remained in their hearts long after they had left it. They both needed it, that feeling, and as the war continued ever on and each day became tiresome and full of doubt and fear, those quiet nights made sure they kept on walking forwards.