Happy Valentines Day, Severus!
Professor Severus Snape sighed heavily and took another look at the pink goo that were splattered all over his class room. It had been a long day, and all he wanted now was to return to his quarters, shower and then read a book in silence. But instead of getting up, he just sat at his desk, staring at the pink goo.
This morning had looked so promising.
He had slept well for once, even had a pleasant dream. Make that very pleasant...
He had actually smiled upon wakening, and given the fact that it was Tuesday and therefore no second year Potion class it really seemed like a promising start of the day.
Any day whitout Potter and Longbottom in Potions class was a good day, as far as he was concerned. His good mood lasted all the way through his morning ablutions and to the moment he sat foot in the Great Hall.
The first thing he noticed when he stepped through the doors, were the horrid pink flowers that covered the walls. At first he thought it must be someones idea of a joke, Merlin knew that the resident poltergeist had a seriously twisted sense of humour. If he had had anything to say about it, they'd have got rid of him years ago. Not that Dumbledore ever listened to him when it came to that kind of decisions.
When Snape continued his way to the Head Table it started to fall small heart-shaped confetti from the pale blue cealing. That was the start of the downward spiral.
His morning tea were polluted by the wretched confetti, and he were unable to find any Marmite for his toast this morning. As a matter of fact, the only available breakfast seemed to be kippers and - for some reason - strawberries with whipped cream. Severus who rarely ate much in the morning but a piece of toast with Marmite, had never been particulary fond of kippers and since he were allergic to strawberries he had to skip breakfast.
He realised that was probably not a bad thing when that sad excuse for a wizard Lockhart started to talk. At first he introduced several surly looking dwarfs, wearing goloden wings and claimed them to be cherubs. Severus doubted he'd been able to keep his breakfast had he eaten any after that sight. Then the silly twit actually suggested the students ask him to teach them Love Potions!
He'd make sure that the first student to even suggest anything in that direction lose it's House at least 50 points – unless it was a Slytherin student of course. The Slytherin stupid enough to do that, would have detention with Filch to the end of the year!
From that point it only got worse. His first class of the day were his sixth year N.E.W.T. class, and thankfully almost all of them were studious, interested and did as told whitout asking silly questions. Still, the class were interrupted by one of the dwarfs dressed up as a cherub. The ridiculously looking creature entered and went straight for the him, while plinking his harp in a treatening way. Then it had started to read from a huge card, ornamented with flowers and kittens.
"Whose gift this is you cannot know.
But with this poem I will show
That my inner eye showed a portrait of you
and not as I first thought an angry poyou.
It would mean the world to me
if you would care to with me be
and later meet for a cup of tea
somewhere where we can see the sea.
Perhaps tonight at the Old Dungeon Ghyll
With all my love, your own Sibyll!"
An embarrased silence downed over the classroom after that quite unexpected declaration of love. For the first time since he was a teenager, Severus Snape blushed, and hid his face in his hands. But it wasn't over at that. An unpleasantly sweet smell started to spread throghout the room, and Snape looked up to be met by the sight of the winged dwarf holding out a bouquet of petunias to him.
That was the straw that broke the camels back, and Snape draw his wand, transfigured the offending flowers into a bunch of snakes which made the dwarf run screaming out of the classroom. The students eyed their Potions Master and the snakes, decided that the Potions Master seemed to be the more dangerous one and as one man they went back to their potions, trying to look like nothing at all had happened.
Professor Snape glared suspiciously at them all, before he in a threatening voice declared that if he heard as much as a whisper of what had happen in this classroom today ever again, he'd make sure that the whole class would have detention until their Graduation day!
He then started tracking down and capturing all the snakes, before dismissing the class.
After that he had no intention at all to go to Lunch, he went to the kitchens for a sandwich instead.
He took his light lunch to his office, and started to plot a revenge on Sibyll. How dare she do something like that, and in class no less! He knew she were angry at him for the little joke over the Christmas break, when he had jinxed her Crystal Ball to show muggle television. But how was he supposed to know that they were showing Dracula. It wasn't his fault that the daft woman drew all the wrong conclusions and thought she was about to be abducted by a Vampire.
Still, sending a Valentine to him in class was taking it too far! He'd get even, no matter what.
After lunch, and some plotting, he took a short walk around the castle to make sure none of the dunderheads had slipped something about it. A little calmed by the fact that nothing seemed to be out, he went back to the dungeons and his next class.
This class looked harmless enough on paper, fifth year Rawenclaw and Hufflepuff. In fifth year they should be advanced enough to avoid the beginner mistakes, not that that'd ever stopped the little dunderheads to try to blow up their cauldrons.But usually it were one of his better classes. Not today though. The students was tasked with making a Strenghtening Solution. Simple enough, one would think, but apparently not even Rawenclaws were immune to idiotical behaviour. But the lession started out according to plan, and went on smoothly for almost an hour.
Then Professor Sprout entered his classroom, carrying an empty jar. Seeing the jar, Snape sighed inwardly and wondered how he could have forgotten about the potion he had promised to provide. He gestured for her to enter his office, and told the class he'd be back in a minute.
He then proceeded to give Professor Sprout the Charmaig's Mandrake Nutricional Potion he had promised her yesterday and went back to his class.
He took one step inside and immeadiately knew something was wrong. First of all, there was a pink mist all over the classroom, and he could locate the source to the cauldron of one of the Rawenclaw boys. He watched in horror how the oblivious boy reached for another ingredient and put it in the Potion. For a second nothing happened and then with a wet, sloshing sound his caudron exploded.
A pink goo was plastered to floor, walls and ceiling. Most of the students were covered in it, and the Potions Master as well. He slowly walked down to the terrified student and demanded to know what had happened.
Apparently Mr Seger had recieved a pack of Chocolate Frogs from his girlfriend earlier, and suddenly felt peckish.
The effect of Chocolate Frogs in a Strenghtening Solution had never been scientifical investigated as far as Snape knew, but at least it seemed not to be lethal. When combined with the peeled eel eyes and salamander blood, it had omitted huge amounts of pink smoke and that seemed to be all.
It wasn't until a minute later, when the pomegranade juice were added that things started to get really interesting.
Snape made sure no one were injured and since the goo seemed harmless he dismissed the class – after giving Mr. Seger two weeks detention with Filch, and taking 150 point from Rawenclaw. He also took 50 point from Hufflepuff for being in the room, it had been a trying day for Snape after all.
So, now he sat his desk, covered in pink goo with no other wish than to take a shower and go straight for bed. Unfortunately the Headmaster had declared that all staff should be present at at least two meals a day, and would not accept harmless pink goo as an excuse.
Snape took a deep breath and Evanescoed the room from the pink stuff, and took the closest way to his quarters. After the shower and change of clothes he still had an hour left before dinner, so he decided to make good use of it and try to come up with a good enough revenge on Trelawney.
He would want something public, but after the Crystal Ball situation, Dumbledore had forbidden them both to continue this battle. So sending him a Valentine was really quite cunning, he knew Dumbledore would only twinkle and smile at that.
So what could he do, that was both subtle enough to escape the Headmaster, yet clear enough to make sure to Sibyll that it was his handiwork?
Then inspiration struck him, and he knew exactly what to do. But he needed to visit Hagrid first.
Dinner that evening was even worse than breakfast. The heart-shaped confetti was still falling from the ceiling, and the wall had the same horrid flower decoration. On top of that, the surly dwarfs dressed up as cherubs had formed a choire, and was singing love songs all through the meal.
As if that wasn't enough, Sybill Trelawny had come down from her tower – probably to gloat – and sat beside him with a smug smile on her face.
Luckily this played quite nicely into his plans, and when the desserts arrived it was time to strike. He knew the reason that she never missed a Valentines Day dinner, was the special chocolate mousse that was served every year. And this year he had made sure it was even more special than usual.
At the staffmeeting yesterday, Hagrid hade complained about an infestation of Love Bugs. The small redwinged beetles had made a home in roof, and disturbed Fang so bad that the dog now refused to sleep.
Snape hadn't taken much notice at the time, but today it came in handy. It was not a wellknown fact, but the droppings of the Love Bug had a similar effect to that of a love potion if ingested. And Snape had made an arrangement with the House Elves to make sure that the chocolate mousse would be placed close to him, so Trelawney would have to ask him for it.
And for once, things worked out according to plan. The Divination teacher ate her portion of the mousse and fell in love with the first person she laid eyes on. To his delight, that person were none other than Gilderoy Lockhart, they deserved each other. And the best part was, it wasn't traceable to him, since he had made sure to have a portion of the mousse himself. He'd just been careful to use his own spoon to take it with, and not the serving spoon that were laced with the droppings.
None of the students seemed to notice Trelawney making a fool of herself to Lockhart, wich were fortunate, because that would have upset The Headmaster. And Lockhart found nothing peculiar in the fact that a witch fawned all over him, he seemed to think it only natural. But as soon as the effect faded – after close to twenty minutes – Trelawney dropped Lockharts hands like they burned, and went straight for her tower while shooting suspicious glances towards Snape.
So it was with a feeling of accomplishment Severus Snape left the Great Hall and went back to his quarters.
Well there, he sat down by the fire and stared at the card that layed on the sidetable. It was a simple card, no pink roses or fat cupids or fluffy kittens. The card were yellowed with age and it only had a short verse in neat handwriting.
It was the only real Valentines Card he had ever recieved, and the only one that mattered.
Gently he stroke his thumb over the name that signed the card, while he read the poem to himself.
Come to me in my dreams, and then
By day I should be well again!
For then the night will more than pay
The hopeless longing of the day.
Lily.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Authors notes;
Poyou – Argentine armadillo with hairy underparts.
The Old Dungeon Ghyll is a pub and hotel in the Great Langdale valley in the centre of the EnglishLake District.
The last verse is a part of a poem called Longing by Matthew Arnold.