I stared at my reflection in the river. The big, sunken eyes. The small, pointed chin and full upper lip that made me look almost slack-jawed. The shaggy hair. The warrior paint.
I'd been mistaken for a boy for as long as I could remember. But what happened that morning was the straw that broke the moose-camel's back.
I'd been playing a game with some of the village boys. We were taking a five-minute break when a girl – her name was Kyla, I think – walked up and asked if she could play.
The self-proclaimed leader, Li, scoffed. "Are you kidding?" he'd said. "Girls can't play!"
My head snapped up. "Waddaya mean 'Girls can't play'?"
He turned to me. "Please. Everyone knows girls can only cook, sew, and play with dolls. They can't play sports. They can't fight!"
I raised my eyebrows and stood up. "Oh, really? I could kick your butt to the Northern Water Tribe and back!"
Everyone stared, dumbfounded.
"I'M A GIRL!" I yelled.
All the boys burst out laughing. Kyla looked at me with her head cocked to one side, like she was trying to see me in a different way.
After a minute, Li stopped. "Hey, guys," he said, "I think he's serious!"
"Waddaya mean 'you think'? Of course I'm serious!" After a second I realized what he meant. "You didn't believe me," I whispered. Disbelief turned to anger. "You didn't BELIEVE ME! You are such sexist, low life–"
I didn't realize how insane I sounded until I noticed them backing away.
I didn't know what to do. Spirits know I wasn't about apologize, but…
I turned and ran.
That's how I ended up staring at my reflection. Hating my reflection.
It reminded me of a song I'd overheard while passing by the village theater. With one small difference.
"Who is that boy I see," I whispered, "staring straight back at me–"
I was cut off by light, distinctive footsteps.
Cinnamon stepped up behind me, her namesake reddish-brown hair tied back with a ribbon so you could see her hazel eyes and the burn under her jaw. It would never heal, just like her sister's scar.
"Hi," she said in her soft voice, sitting next to me.
"Hey," I whispered.
"What's wrong?" she asked, trying to look at my face.
"Nothing," I said, turning away.
"Bee, c'mon, what's wrong?" she asked. She was just as persistent as her sister.
I turned toward her. "I hate this," I whispered.
She cocked her head to one side, concern in her eyes. "Hate what?"
"Looking like this. Everyone thinking I'm a boy." I glanced back at my reflection. Why is my reflection someone I don't know?
"Bee, this is who you are. You shouldn't care about what other people think. As long as you're comfortable with yourself, other people's opinions don't matter."
I looked back up at her. "You sound like Longshot."
She smiled. "Well, you know, technically, Longshot doesn't–"
"Yeah, yeah. But the problem is that I'm not comfortable with this. This isn't who I am."
"Bee, this is a warrior. You're a warrior."
"Yeah, but I'm not just a warrior! I'm not just arguably the toughest in the Core – for the record, The Duke said that. I'm a girl, too."
She thought for a moment, then the look of someone with a brilliant idea came over her. "I have an idea!" she said.
"Should I be scared now?"
She rolled her eyes. "No. Come on. Just go to my tree and wait. I'll go grab Honey."
"Yep, I'm officially scared."
"Just go," she said, pushing me in that direction. "Oh! And take off your armor!"
I shook my head and, against my better judgment, listened. A few minutes later I was in their hut, sitting on the only chair, armor-less, and wondering what torture she had planned.
After a couple more minutes, Cinnamon came up, Honey behind her and, if possible, smiling even bigger.
"I'm so gonna regret asking this, but what are you two gonna do to me?"
"Oh, you'll see," Honey sang. I noticed she had some kind of box with her.
"What's that?" I asked suspiciously.
Cinnamon came up behind me and squeeze my shoulders. "Just close your eyes and relax. We'll take care of everything."
After a moments' hesitation, I closed my eyes. A few seconds later, I felt one of them take my headband off.
"What are you doing?" I asked.
"Just keep your eyes closed," Cinnamon said.
A few more seconds and I felt water against my face. I tried to ignore it and just space out until it was over.
Surprisingly, it worked. The next thing I knew, Cinnamon was saying, "Okay, you can open your eyes now."
I complied. They pulled me out of my chair and led me to the "door". The reason for the quotation marks was it was in the floor.
I turned and stared at them.
"Go down!" Honey said, grinning.
I shot her a weird look, but listened.
I went down the rungs to the landing, then grabbed a rope and got to the ground. They were next to me a couple of second later.
They each grabbed one of my arms and led me through a very rarely used trail to the river.
"Um… Why are we going this way?" I asked. "Wouldn't it be faster if we just cut through the square?"
"Oh… reasons," Honey said, grinning.
Okay, I was really scared now.
After a few more minutes, we reached the river.
"Okay," Cinnamon said, grin mirroring her sister's, "take a look."
"Waddaya mean, 'take a look'?" I asked, stepping over to the edge and looking down.
And then I just stared.
My first thought was, The light must be playing tricks on me. Second was, Maybe I've just gone insane. Because there was no way I could really be seeing this.
My paint and kohl had been washed off. My ratty headband was gone. My hair was done up with several who-knows-how-expensive pins, my cheeks were tinged pink, my lips were painted red.
I was… pretty.
If I wasn't afraid it would wash away all their efforts, I would've cried. Instead, I just ran to the girls and hugged them as tight as I could.
"Thank you," I whispered.
I let them go.
"Hey, didn't you have archery practice at noon?" Cinnamon asked.
I looked up at the sky. It was at least two.
"Crap! I completely forgot! Oh, man, Longshot's gonna kill me!" I started running. "Thank you!" I called back. "Thank you so much!"
I ran through the square, everyone staring. I tried to ignore them and sprinted across a well-worn path, hoping Longshot hadn't given up and left.
Around two more corners, and… There he was!
I skidded to a stop 3 inches in front of him.
"I'm sorry! I completely forgot! Cinnamon and Honey needed me, and I just–" I stopped babbling, finally noticing he was just staring.
"Um, Longshot? You okay?"
"Bee?" he whispered.
I grinned and nodded. "I look different, don't I?"
(What is all of this?) Apparently he'd recovered from the shock enough to not talk.
"The girls gave me a makeover," I said, still smiling.
(Why?)
Okay, that confused me. "I'm sick of being mistaken for a boy. I actually feel like girl, for the first time in years!"
(Bee, this isn't you.)
What was left of my smile melted. "What do you mean?"
(You're not… this. You look like some village girly girl. You're the toughest in the Core, probably in the whole group. A few months ago you swore you wouldn't wear any makeup other than the kohl and paint to save your life!)
"Earlier, when I told someone I was a girl, they thought I was joking," I said, staring at the ground. I shoved the toe of my boot into the dirt. "I'm sick and tired of this. I'm a warrior, sure, but I'm a girl, too. Who says I can't be both? Look at Avatar Kyoshi. She mastered all four elements, created an island, and formed a group of kick-butt girls-only warriors." After a moment, I whispered one more thing. "Girls can fight."
(I know they can.)
I finally looked up at him.
(You're right. Kyoshi was an incredible warrior, and a woman. But she didn't have to change who she was to be both. She wore warrior paint and carried her weapons wherever she went.)
I looked back at the ground. "But people could tell she was a girl."
(So? She was being herself. That's all that matters. As long as–)
"I know, Longshot. I know."
(If it makes you feel any better…)
"I like you just the way you are," he finished.
I looked back up, eyes wide. His head was cocked to one side, and he was smiling ever so slightly.
I smiled back. "I'll go wash it off."