Waiting Unanswered

Jin winced as Shishi strode in, looking disgustingly self-satisfied. He had been with his fangirls again, that was plain, and the Wind Master could feel Suzuki tensing up beside him as he made the same assumption.

Shishi didn't look at the two who were sharing the table, but instead grabbed a plum from a nearby bowl and walked out, Suzuki's jealous green gaze following him.

"That smug bastard," he hissed at length.

Jin sighed, knowing another rant was imminent and not really in the mood to hear the younger demon's complaints. "Suzuki, do you need to-…"

"He knows how I feel about him!" the other continued as if he had not heard Jin. "He knows and he ignores it and continues to do what he wants. It's not fair! He's being selfish, and cruel and he knows it!"

Letting his head drop to bang on the table once, Jin sat back up and pointed at Suzuki. "Now listen here- I've had enough a' this whining. I've listened to it for a long time now, and I think it's about time I spoke up. You're making assumptions about the man you love, thinking him cruel and selfish, but I know you've never even had the balls to tell him how you feel. You assume he knows, but maybe he's assuming as well- that you don't love him. You don't know how he feels, or even what he does with those girls, so shut up, will you? You don't know a damn thing about the pain love can bring."

Suzuki had straightened up and was staring at Jin in surprise and hurt- knowing he had a point and not ready to admit it. "Oh, like you know anything about love! Your head is too high in the clouds to ever understand!"

Jin's eyes darkened, causing a look of doubt to grace the proud face of Suzuki. "And now you go assuming about me. Aye, I know what love is, and have since before ye and Shishi were born, whelp. I know I sometimes, or usually," he conceded with a brief grin, "Act like a child, but no child rises in the Shinobi like I did, and you need to stop forgetting I'm your elder. So listen here- I've been in love for centuries, and I've told him, and had to see him smile tightly and change the subject every time. He hates it when it comes up, but sometimes I can't help myself."

"Touya?" Suzuki's voice was subdued.

"Aye. I'd thought it was obvious."

Suzuki coughed delicately. "It is, when I think about it- and look beyond my own jilted affections."

"Least you haven't been repeatedly turned down. In fact, I don't think you've been rebuked for it once by Shishi, have ye?"

"No. I've not told him."

"Might want to do that."

"But what if he does turn me down, calls me a pervert and refuses to see me?"

"First, he isn't likely to call you a pervert. He's the first one to accept adoration from those around him, and he certainly doesn't seem to care which gender it comes from. We've both seen him flirting with women and with men. Second, nothing in the way he acts around you hints that he's likely to do anything to upset you."

"What do you mean? Sure, he's nicer to me than he is to you, but I almost think he likes Touya better than he likes me."

"We'll, you're busy trying to convince yourself you have no chance, so you're ignorimng a lot of what you're seeing, but I'll tell you something you won't know. First thing in the morning, when he wakes up but before he goes out to meditate, he looks for you."

"What?"

"I've seen it, and so has Touya, when one or the other of us is up that early He tries to hide it, or he did at first, but I think he's given up on that. He'll go to your room and push the door open and watch you sleep for a few minutes before taking himself off. Or, if you're not there, he'll check your workshop. The few times you've gone in to town, he'll ask me and Touya where you are, and settle down with a book he barely reads while he waits for you to return."

Suzuki swallowed hard, clearly trying not to hope. "Swear to me you're not lying. Swear he really does this?"

Jin raised one hand and solemnly replied, "I swear as a man in love to another, I'm not lying."

"Thank you, Jin!" Suzuki grinned, slapping his palm on the table before springing to his feet and bounding off after Shishi.

The room was silent for a moment before Jin spoke again. "You hate me, don't you?"

"I think it was a bad idea. My room is right next to Shishi's, and I fear an end to my quiet nights," Touya answered evasively as he stepped into the room.

Jin let it pass. "It will make them happy."

"So we could assume."

The Wind Master turned to look over his shoulder at Touya. "Why won't you ever give in to me? I know you're less stubborn than Shishi."

Touya frowned slightly, a tightening around his eyes and lips. "Jin, please…"

"No! You please! Touya, please," Jin interjected, rising and crossing the room to kneel before Touya in one quick movement. "Please just give me a chance!"

Touya looked helpless and uncomfortable. "Jin, I can't give you what you want. We've gone over this."

"Barely. You've never told me why." Jin's large eyes bored into Touya's pale ones until the Ice Master looked away. Jin ran a hand through his unruly hair. "Look, I've been devoted to you for centuries. Doesn't that count for something?"

"I'm sorry, Jin."

"Dammit, Touya," Jin sighed. "I just love you so much." Defeated, he leaned forward until his forehead rested against Touya's abdomen, his arms coming up to wrap around the smaller demon. "I'm so tired of carrying these feelings, Touya. So tired. I can't really find it in me to care anymore if you love me. Just… could you please give me one night with you? Just one? I know you can't and don't love me, but it doesn't matter anymore. I just… just that. So I know all of my caring hasn't been in vain."

There was a long quiet as Jin just basked in being so close to the other demon. And then he felt arms sliding around his shoulders, and the muscles shifting in Touya's stomach as the other leaned down to embrace him.

"Alright, Jin. You win. I'll share your bed tonight. Just don't forget or try to delude yourself into thinking it means more than it does."

"How could I, after all these years?" the other asked, voice muffled but clearly elated.

Touya sighed and withdrew from the embrace, then offered his hand to Jin and led him into his own room to share an intimacy that could never be quite what either really wanted.