AUTHOR: C A Moore (cab_moore@yahoo.com)
PAIRINGS: f/f, specifically, um, I think that it's better as a surprise
RATING: PG, I suppose, nothing very explicit
DISCLAIMER: Daria and associated characters belong to MTV etc...
SUMMARY: Slash as mentioned above. Interview with Ms Daria Morgendorffer, focusing on her new family.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: I had this Idea for a story kicking around in my head, and Daria seemed to fit, so I tried it. Indirectly inspired by "Write where it hurts", I got to thinking about alternative scenarios; also I blame reading a whole lot of mediocre Daria slash into the middle of the night. I know that character matching isn't very good, but a lot can change in 16 years. Had idea: too lazy to write full-length story: hence interview. And last, but not least, feedback much appreciated. I'd really like to know if my writing sucks, or otherwise, obviously
Fade in
Typical 21st century digital talk show set: two chairs and a coffee table, the female host already on set, standing by one of the chairs
Penny:
"Our computers have just reported over a billion viewers, the highest
ratings ever. Now, it's been a long time since she had to explain that
it was a business name, not an address, so I very much doubt that anyone
hasn't heard of our next guest. I'd like everyone to welcome Ms Daria Morgendorffer"
Deafening applause from the studio audience as Ms Morgendorffer joins the host on the set. The years have been kind to her, and the most visible difference from her high school days is the absence of her glasses, made redundant by laser eye surgery 10 years before.
Penny:
"Although I think the audience has already expressed it, I would like
to thank you for coming in tonight, Ms Morgendorffer"
Daria:
"Thank you Penny, please call me Daria, Ms Morgendorffer sounds like
my sister"
Penny:
"So, Daria, this is the first interview you, or you partner, have given
for six years. Now, obviously, a lot has changed since 2010. In the statement
you issued back then you said you were retiring because already had more
money than anyone could spend and you were going to enjoy it. A lot of
people have speculated that you were traumatised by your parent's death,
two months earlier, would you like to comment on that?"
Daria:
"I guess it's closer than the theory with the aliens. Every year we'd
joke about retirement, but it never seemed the right time. The plane crash
did make me think a little more about death; but really, it was the life
insurance that made up my mind"
Penny:
"The life insurance?"
Daria:
"When you're committed to something you don't often look outside and
realise where you are, it's easy to fall into a pattern. My parents had
life insurance for a million dollars, and it suddenly hit us: that we were
getting that much every week just from the dividends – it was like my parents'
life was only worth a week. We were talking one night, and that was it;
a week later we issued the statement and went back to the house in Lawndale"
Penny:
"And you've just been getting richer. A recent review claims that your
joint stock holdings are worth over 600 billion, making you the second
richest couple, and joint eighth richest individuals, in the world, is
that correct?"
Daria: (laughs)
"We don't count it every day, but I guess that's pretty close"
Penny:
"I know that this interview wasn't supposed to be focused on finance
but your income must be nearly 30 billion a year; you live pretty modestly,
and even allowing for the scholarship program that is a lot to spend. The
rumours are that you donate it secretly to charity – is that true?"
Daria: (still smiling)
"Answering that sort of eliminates the purpose of secrecy, but I will
say that the rumour that we're using it to build a colony on Mars to escape
the apocalypse isn't true"
Penny:
"You mentioned moving back to Lawndale; a lot of people were very surprised
by that. Your lifestyle has caused a lot of discussion over past six years
years. It's well known that you and your sister didn't get on in high school
– now, obviously, you had a lot of choice so, why live with your sister?"
Daria:
"I guess we grew up, we both changed a lot. I know there are still
lot of people out there who would think this is hypocritical, given my
lifestyle, but I think family is very important; living in our old house,
it just felt right"
Penny:
"You wrote a story in high school about what you thought the future
might hold, but in the last six years you've turned that on it's head.
As you mentioned earlier, Quinn is the Ms Morgendorffer in popular literature,
and you've been raising children in relative obscurity"
Daria:
"I wouldn't have believed somebody who had told me about the future
back then, Quinn in with the literati, and me raising kids, but I'm not
sure that my mother would have been that surprised; of course she probably
wouldn't have believed who the other parent would be"
Penny:
"We'll come back to the parenting later. You're obviously quite proud
of your sister's literary accomplishments, but you were quite a writer
yourself in high school, its been claimed that you've continued to write
under a number of pseudonyms, including the bestselling 'Miss Darlene'
– so is Miss Darlene a tribute to your brief spell as an English teacher?"
Daria:
"It's an open secret that she is a collaborative effort, Quinn has
hinted as much in her reviews, so I'll confirm it, and that I have other,
less obvious, ones"
Penny:
"The nature of Miss Darlene's books is quite a departure from your
previous style, do you think that you have changed that much?"
Daria:
"I like to think I'm still as cynical as always, but having the kids
has made me spend more time looking at the brighter side of life. I used
to believe in happiness, now I experience it"
Penny:
"That brings us to the main subject of the interview. Despite your
business success, your biggest claim to fame in the media is more personal.
After six years avoiding the media you've 'come out of the closet', last
month as a spokesperson for the breastfeeding mothers association, and
in this last week, confirming that you would be speaking at the next meeting
of the Global Coalition for Assisted Fertility. Is this sudden interest
related the upcoming congressional debate on the legality of homogametic
fusion treatments?"
Daria: (in a dry monotone that would be familiar to her former classmates)
"That's so obvious, I'm not sure that I need to answer"
Penny: (smiling nervously)
"Obviously. Um In the past you have declined to become involved in
this issue, why the change?"
Daria:
"We were worried that, because we were one of the first couples to
use the technology, our children could easily become 'issues', not people.
We've actually put a lot of money into making the technology cheaper and
more available, but up until now it has been impossible, thanks to the
tireless efforts of the Republican Party, to get clear-cut legislation
in the United States. The procedure is legal in the EU and Japan, and even
has complete Medicare coverage in Australia but it is still forbidden by
the moratorium of reproductive cloning here – in the US."
Penny:
"So we can thank the Green/Democrat majority for this interview?"
Daria: (Smiling again)
"And my kids said that I should"
Penny:
"Before we move on to the kids would you like to explain the technology
simply for the audience?"
Daria:
"HGF, um, HomoGametic Fusion, involves the joining of two gametes of
the same sex to produce a foetus, which is them implanted in the womb,
and develops into a normal baby"
Penny:
"With two mothers?"
Daria:
"Yes. The child had genetic material from both parents, just like one
produced by natural fertilization. It's a little more complex than just
fusion because you need to do come cloning steps to ensure a normal foetus,
and that's where the legal problem arises. At the moment it is only possible
for women, but we expect that it will be feasible for men within 5 years."
Penny:
"So, now the kids. One year after you retired, as friends, you decided
to have children together: when did your relationship change?"
Daria:
"I don't know how many people will believe this, but actually we decided
to have children before we became lovers, I guess bearing each others children
sort of triggered the realisation"
Penny: (seems genuinely surprised)
"So when you got the civil union, and caused the media frenzy, you
weren't actually _involved_?"
Daria:
"Not involved that way; it was actually to simplify custody if something
happened to one of us"
Penny:
"So I guess 'Richest lesbians of 2011' was undeserved?"
Daria:
"We had the article framed, and decided not to 'come out of the closet'
as straight until the kids were born, but by then, well, 2012 was justified"
Penny:
"You both decided to become pregnant at the same time, was there any
special reason for that?"
Daria:
"I guess it felt strange to think of one of us bearing a child for
both; neither of us wanted to be 'daddy', so we both were implanted, although
it was a surprise that we succeeded the first time and they ended up more
or less as twins; it's a good thing that HGF/I doesn't give multiple pregnancies,
two sets of twins or triplets probably would have scared us off parenting"
Penny:
"But three years later you had another set. Four little girls must
be quite a handful?"
Daria: (laughing)
"They would deny it, but they keep us pretty busy"
Penny:
"So any family resemblances?"
Daria:
"I think Lynne reminds me a bit of my mother, even though she's only
two. My aunt Amy says that Anne and Maria are so like Quinn and I at that
age that it's scary"
Penny: (ending with a definite smile)
"Nearly the same age difference too. That leaves Penny"
Daria: (smiling, definite motherly pride)
"You would have to ask about Penny, we wondered a bit at first, but
after she finger-painted Quinn's room there was no problem in knowing who's
genes to blame"
Penny: (chuckles)
"I guess that's all we have time for. Thank you for coming tonight,
I know that most of us are behind your campaign and we wish you luck in
Washington"
They stand and shake hands before Daria leaves the stage.
Penny:
"Thankyou for watching MLM: The World Talks. We have just interviewed
Daria Morgendorffer co-founder, with her wife Jane Lane, of Morgendorffer-Lane
Media. Next: a panel discussion of the Sydney bombing: The Infinity Consortium:
fact or fiction? Are Immortals already among us?"
Blackout.