Disclaimer: I own nothing - all characters belong to Janet Evanovich. This story contains themes not appropriate for children.

WARNING!

THIS STORY MAY BE UPSETTING TO RANGERBABES OR ANYONE WHO EVEN SLIGHTLY FELT WARM AND FUZZY FEELINGS TOWARD THE RANGER MANOSO CHARACTER. IF YOU CHOOSE TO READ THIS STORY YOU MAY BE OFFENDED. PROCEED WITH CAUTION.

I didn't feel the wind or the cold. I didn't see the sparkling Christmas lights around me. I could feel carolers singing but I couldn't hear what they were singing. I simply stared at the man lying in front of me.

Ranger's skin looked so dark next to the clean white snow. He looked so peaceful. I tried to not to see the spreading red stain under his head. I looked at his hands. My eyes were drawn to his head. His blood was so brilliant red that it fascinated me. I felt someone pulling my hands behind me. Eddie. Eddie was arresting me. I couldn't focus on Eddie. I just stared at Ranger. He looked like he was asleep.

Someone was pulling me away from Ranger. I wanted to stay. I had to make sure that he wasn't going to get up and try to walk away. I'd wanted him to suffer. It wouldn't be worth the jail time if he hadn't suffered. I tried to pull away from Eddie.

"Come on, Steph, you need to get out of the cold. Let's go down to the station and you can tell me what happened." Eddie's voice was soft and soothing and I turned to him. I tried to tell him that he wouldn't understand but the words wouldn't form. I let him pull me to his car. He pushed my head gently down as he helped me into the back.

"Watch your head, Steph." Why? Why should I watch my head? What would one more bruise matter now? I wanted to say that to Eddie but my tongue seemed frozen. Eddie shook his head sadly and closed the door. He got in the front and turned the heat on full blast. I leaned back against the seat and closed my eyes still imagining the blood pooling around Ranger's head. I couldn't keep from smiling. When I opened my eyes Eddie was turned in his seat staring at me with a worried look on his face.

"You're gonna have to talk soon, Steph, and it may as well be to me. I'll help you as much as I can. Unless you talk to me it looks like you'll be facing murder one." I could tell that Eddie was genuinely concerned about me and I smiled at him to show my appreciation. Eddie shook his head and started the car. I closed my eyes again. I smiled as the vision of Ranger's blood pooling around his head swam into view. Who knew that such a little gun could make such a big hole?

My mother would wonder what had happened to Ranger and me. We were supposed to have dinner with my parents. Christmas dinner. Today was Christmas. I smiled again. I love Christmas. Fresh baked goods and sparkling trees. My mother always made a special glazed ham. Glazed hams made me think of Ranger again. Ranger hated ham. Was that what had started the argument? I tried to remember.

It seemed as though Joe and I had broken up for good a few months ago. That caused a tear to roll down my cheek. I loved Joe. Joe was a good guy. When Ranger had come to collect his fee for the DeCooch incident I had been amazed by his body and how good he'd been in bed. Seemed like a good enough reason to keep him around and Ranger seemed to want to stay around. He'd wanted us more than I had. I'd come home one day soon after Ranger and I had started sleeping together and had found all my stuff gone and my locks changed. Ranger had given notice and moved me in with him. I had been angry at first but Ranger had talked me around. We were spending nearly every night together and might as well keep all our clothes in one place. He got me into bed and made me see the definite advantage to more convenient sex. Things started to change after we started living together.

Ranger wanted me to give up bounty hunting and stay home. He wanted to take care of me. I'd never had anyone who wanted to take care of me before so it sounded kind of nice until I realized that I was expected to be a Burg wife without benefit of marriage. What was worse was that I had no money. Ranger would give me anything I wanted but I couldn't have money or credit. Ranger or one of the guys would go shopping with me and buy me whatever I needed. I also had to have one of the guys with me whenever I went anywhere with my friends. The constant companions made my friends uncomfortable and soon they weren't calling anymore. It got to the point where I wouldn't be leaving the house for days.

I tried to leave once but Ranger found me before I was out of the city. He had been confused and angry. He said that he'd been good to me and had given me everything that I ever wanted and I repaid him with ingratitude. He lost his temper and started hitting me. He was very careful not to hit me in the face. I cried and he told me that he had lost his temper because I was ungrateful. It had been all my fault. I just curled up and cried. He apologized a few hours later by having a pizza delivered.

I was having the leftover pizza for breakfast the next morning when he came into the kitchen. He made a joke about how fat I was getting. He said that if I put on any more weight that he wouldn't find me attractive anymore. There was something in his eyes that made me throw away the rest of the pizza and hurry to the exercise room. What would I do if Ranger didn't want me anymore? No one else would want me either. I couldn't risk becoming unattractive to Ranger.

Over the next few weeks Ranger lost his temper a lot. Tank and I were on the couch and Tank's arm was around me. Ranger beat Tank up and then told him that if he ever saw him again he'd kill him. He then accused me of having sex with Tank. When I told him that there was nothing but friendship between Tank and me he called me a liar and beat me while berating me about taking Tank's "pity sex." I didn't know what to do but curl up and take the beating. He beat me again when I didn't want to have sex that night. He said that if I could give it to Tank that I could give it to him. I tried so hard not to cry while he raped me. I knew that if I cried it would only be worse.

It was that night that I had started to fantasize about killing Ranger. I would close my eyes and I would watch him die. Sometimes it was slow and sometimes it was brutal but I would always make sure that he was dead. Why wouldn't Eddie let me make sure that he was dead?

Christmas Eve had been the worst day ever. Ranger and I had argued about something. It doesn't seem to matter what it was now. He had locked Bob's chain around my neck and shoved me out onto the patio and locked the door. I was only dressed in a thin nightie and there was snow on the ground. He opened the door and threw warm water on me. I shivered but I knew that he wouldn't leave me out there. He had to know about hypothermia. He had to know that I could die. I lost track of time. He threw warm water on me. I started looking forward to the warm water but I was feeling so weak and so lost. Something broke inside of me. When Ranger finally let me back into the house he held me in front of the fire and told me that he knew that I would be a "good girl" now. I just nodded. I couldn't speak.

I didn't want to get up the next morning but Ranger pulled me out of bed. He was laughing. He told me that we were expected at my parents and I had better hurry or we would be late. I knew how much he hated to be late so I pulled myself together quickly. I hurried to the living room and Ranger told me how horrible and slutty I looked and how I should be ashamed of myself. How he was becoming less attracted to me every day. I didn't say anything and Ranger didn't seem to care as he pulled me out to the waiting Bronco. I was climbing in when I saw Tank across the street. He pointed to a gun in his hand and made a gesture to indicate that a gun was under something. I dropped one of the gifts and leaned down to find a gun under the seat. Ranger called me a "stupid bitch" but I just smiled at him. I would have blown a kiss at Tank except that Ranger might have noticed.

We were almost to my parent's house when I faked nausea and asked Ranger to pull over. He wasn't happy and said that I had better not mess up his Bronco. He pulled off and I got out and reached under the seat pulling the gun out. I pointed it at Ranger.

"Get out of the car."

"What are you doing, Stephanie?" He never called me "Babe" anymore and he always used that voice that people use with toddlers.

"Get out of the car, Ranger. Don't think that I've forgotten how to use this." A sardonic smile spread across his face.

"You never knew how to use that."

"We'll see if you don't get out," I said. He made an exasperated sound and stepped out of the car. He walked around.

"Where did you get the gun?" he asked.

"A good friend." No need to say any more than I had to say.

"Give me the gun," he held out his hand.

"No."

"Give me the gun, Steph." His eyes were dangerous and he stepped toward me. I knew that if I waited I might not live through the next punishment. The bastard didn't even have the good sense to tell me that he loved me or try to charm me away from my gun.

"Rot in hell, Ranger." I pulled the trigger and shot him in the head. It somehow wasn't as satisfying as my fantasies. I stood and stared at him. I watched as he fell in seeming slow motion and as his blood started to spread in the snow. I watched amazed. It had seemed quicker than I would have wanted. He didn't really seem dead. I waited for him to move. I'm not sure how long I waited before I felt Eddie pull my hands behind me. Eddie.

I opened my eyes as Eddie opened the door to help me out of the car. I couldn't feel anything. I stared at the police station and noticed that Joe was leaning against the building watching us. He looked sad. I wondered why Joe would be sad. Was Ranger still alive? He pushed away from the building with his foot and walked over to us.

"Can I sit in on the interview?" he was talking to Eddie and his voice was low.

"Don't know what kind of interview there'll be. She's not saying a word. I have two people who say that she did it. I'm hoping she gets a good lawyer who can plead temporary insanity." Eddie thinks I'm insane? Didn't he see that I killed Ranger? I was insane to let Ranger do what he did to me. Killing Ranger was the sanest thing that I ever did. Joe turned to me and he looked so sad. I lifted my hand to his face and he clasped it.

"Will you talk to me, Cupcake?" I wanted to tell him that I'd never been better but the words didn't seem to want to come out so I just smiled sadly. I liked the way that he called me "Cupcake." It seemed genuine. I think that I started to cry. No one had been that genuine in a long time.

"Merry Christmas, Joe." It was all that I could think to say.