THE GREAT FANDOM WAR
Chapter 1 - Genesis of the Fandom War
"So does a cheeseburger come with ham in it?"
By this point, it wouldn't surprise Adriana if the brain dead customer started drooling at the mouth or something. Hell, if the line behind her started moaning, reached for her, and begged for brains, it would actually confirm her theory that only flesh eating zombies would want to waste money on this sort of crap. They were drones, the whole lot of them, worshipping their fast food God.
Then again, Adriana got a paycheck from said fast food God.
Taking a second to tuck a stray strand of her curly ginger locks behind her ear, Adriana mumbled. "There is a burger inside of a cheeseburger, yeah."
The customer's out of focus eyes didn't reveal any clarity of comprehension. "Yes, but is the burger made of cheese or ham?"
"It's made of burger."
"Well, that's not very specific."
"Have you ever had a burger not made of ham?"
"Turkey, vegetables, beans-"
The shift could not end soon enough. The moment she clocked out, Adriana ducked behind the counter, and left the raging masses to her coworkers. She snuck a burger from the shelf-fringe benefit of working at a fast food chain-and abandoned the calorie laden restaurant behind her like a bad dream.
Yes, bad-mouth the only place that would hire you, the place that gave you free food after shifts.
Of course, working at said chain had done wonders to her figure. Not like she cared much anyway. It wasn't like she was waiting for some sports scholarship or anything. Still, asking for a new uniform would be humiliating, especially since it was the second time she had to ask for a larger size since signing on as a cashier-sales associate-a few months prior.
Hey, at this rate, maybe after the fifth resizing, she might be able to afford a class at community college.
She drove off, fingers squeezing the wheel so tightly the leather actually twisted around her knuckles. She had to cool off. Sure, she had gained twenty pounds since getting this dead-end job. Sure, she had fewer job opportunities than an immigrant baby from the Bangladesh. That didn't mean her life was dreadful.
There was one place that she always wanted to be after a long days work.
She pulled off the highway, and into the local comic store. When she entered, the cashier acknowledged her, a smile on her lips. "How's work?"
"Bleh." Adriana sagged slightly, noticing how her uniform pulled awkwardly against her skin. "Got anything new?"
"Newest issues of Before Watchman are in."
"Is Rorschach finally out yet?"
"Uh, I believe so. Check back there if you want."
Adriana nodded, and walked to the back. After a few moments, she found the volumes. A smile crawled up her lips as she dove into the pages, the panels, the characters. If only she could buy it. She wouldn't have to scrunch up into a loose fetal position on the ground, nor would she have to sit on the dirty floor. She could spread herself out on her bed, as she had when she was a kid, comics, manga, and books all spread out over the covers.
Of course, that wasn't possible now.
Too little money, too many fandoms to enjoy.
When the doors opened to the store, the familiar jingle ringing in her ear, she paid it little mind. It's only when the cashier stifled a laugh that she turned. Every so often, strange characters came to the store. There was one smelly man late into his fifties who-when Adriana was only fourteen and still a size four-implied that she'd look better if she cosplayed Princess Leia in that skimpy outfit from Return of the Jedi. Now she was lucky if a guy complemented her on her shoes. Another strange guy, more recently, came in dressed as Seto Kaiba from Yu-Gi-Oh, and had a full-blown duel with a Yugi cosplayer in the middle of the store. That was perhaps one of the best memories Adriana had of this place.
A Dalek cosplayer didn't seem out of place.
It wasn't just a usual Dalek cosplayer. At cons Adriana attended years ago, people sometimes threw together cardboard sheets, went on a few wheels, and would do that high-pitched Dalek voice. Some would go further and use plastic, but this cosplay was something else. Shiny steel, polished well. A lot of effort clearly was put into this one costume.
"Dude, how did you weld all that together?" the cashier asked, a fascinated smile on her lips.
"I-HAVE-NO-NEED-OF-WELD-ING-HUUuuuUU-MAN!"
The lights were flashing and everything with each syllable! This was an incredibly well cone job. Still, Adriana had seen plenty of cosplay in her day. She drew nearer, searching for airholes, only to find none. The guy inside was dying for his art, probably dehydrated and exhausted inside.
"Hey, how do you take a piss in there?"
"DAAaaAAA-LEKS-HAVE-NO-NEED-OF-URINAAaAATION!"
It was a damn good impersonation. Even the eye-rod thing that Adriana could never manage to quite describe right was bobbing up and down, blinking to life with each syllable. She circled around the cosplayer, and eventually found the one thing wrong with it. Attached to the side-strapped on, really, with some Velcro-like material-was a little black box, with a blinking red light. That must be the fan unit inside or something.
"The costume is damn good."
"DAAAaaaAAA-LEKS-HAVE-NO-UND-ER-STAANDING-OF-GOOoood."
"Obviously. You're Daleks."
"YOU-KNOW-OF-THE-DAAaaAAA-LEKS?"
"Of course we do," the cashier laughed, "Haven't you flipped on a TV?"
"THEN-I-HAVE-FAAaaailLED."
"Don't get discouraged," Adriana pouted, encouragingly balling up her fists, "You did a great job getting the costume right."
"COS-TUME-?"
The cosplayer's eye-thingy turned toward Adriana, boring at her. It was odd, as if in some way Adriana could stare into the opposite end of that rod, stare into the eyes of the man inside the machine-or whatever it was inside-no, just a normal person. A cosplayer. A fanboy just as crazy as she was. Nothing more or less.
"WHY-DO-YOU-NOT-RUN?"
"Actually, been working on a few theories about that myself."
The door opened once more, and in walked in perhaps the most convincing 10th Doctor cosplayers Adriana had seen in awhile. The guy looked identical to David Tennant, right down to his mannerisms, the way he crinkled his nose, eyebrows, everything. It was a dead-on impersonation. Even the voice-they got the voice wonderfully.
"Well, probably not sure how to react. Big man like you, standing there, barking like that. Maddening, really." The Doctor glanced at Adriana's red hair, and asked, simply, "Would it be too much to ask if I could ruffle your hair?"
"Ruffle?"
"Been trying to grow my own hair out like that. Hasn't worked yet. Doubt I ever will."
The Dalek turned with a little whirl toward his cosplaying rival. Did the pupil-like lens dilate?
"DOC-TOoooR?"
"Damn, this is a good day for cosplay," the cashier laughed, smiling. The laugh must've alerted the Dalek, or alarmed him. Plunger weapon was now directed at the cashier, as was the laser arm clearly made out of the junk you'd find at a kitchen. Still, that thing looked too shiny to be bought from some Goodwill store.
"Is there a way out of here?" the Doctor cosplayer asked, glancing at the two girls.
"Uh, storage room. Why ask a weird question like that?"
"Weirder question: why aren't you there yet?"
The cashier backed up slowly, eye on the Dalek's laser-no, prop. It was just a cosplay prop. A really cool looking one, but a prop nonetheless. As much as a part of Adriana would like it to be real, it was nothing more than a silly little tool.
"I suggest you get out too." The cosplayer reached into his trench coat, and withdrew a perfect replica of the sonic screwdriver. The Dalek cosplayer turned to face the Doctor, more than a little alarmed.
"Oh, you have one too?" Adriana reached into her bag, and withdrew her own replica.
The cosplayer's eyebrow raised up-in the same bewildered way David Tennant raised his-lip curled into a confused frown. "Now how'd you get that?"
"Discounted."
"No, but how'd you-?" The rack of comics caught the cosplayer's eyes. He turned toward the comics-all issues of Doctor Who. The Doctor glanced at each one, one by one, his skin breaking out into a sweat after each one. "Oh, so that's how it is here."
"TWO-SCReeEEWW-DRIVERRSS!?"
A jet of energy flew against the wall, jolting Adriana to life. The wallpaper combusted in a great flare, snapping her to life. The laser wasn't a prop. It was real. It didn't matter if the Dalek cosplayer was the real McCoy or just freaking nuts. He was packing heat.
Instinctually, Adriana ducked behind shelf of comics. She heard a second jolt of energy whiz over her head, and soar straight into the shelves. Half-burned comics scattered in all directions. The recent issue of Deadpool landed at her feet, smoldering and fiery.
The room was filled with props of all sorts, but what good would that do against a Dalek? If it was an old Who Dalek, maybe a few stairs might be enough, but New Who? Forget it. Bullets were worthless, so what could work-?
"This spot taken?" Adriana turned toward the Doctor, that goofy little grin on his lips. That adorable face of his. She wanted to glomp him, but restrained herself. After all, this wasn't the time or place for that-assuming this was the Doctor.
Oh God, she was talking to the Doctor!
"Can I see that of yours?" Without waiting for a response, the Doctor snatched Adriana's sonic screwdriver, waved his over hers, then handed it back to her. "There, that ought to work."
"Work?" Adriana pushed the button. A tremble ran up her fingers, her wrist, her arm, as the little piece of plastic whirred with life. It was a toy she bought at a convention. What did he mean it worked? Was it-no, that was just silly-but still, so was a Dalek posing as a cosplayer at a comic convention.
"Now, listen carefully because we're going to do something incredibly stupid right now together."
"Stupid?"
"How good are you at running?"
"Bad."
"Good enough. Sprint at the thing, and point your screwdriver at that box, okay?"
Before Adriana could even nod, the Doctor hurdled over the comics, screwdriver aimed at the Dalek. A jet of energy flew overhead, but Adriana wasn't looking to see when-or if-it hit. Rather, she ran at the Dalek, and pointed her screwdriver at the box.
If The Doctor told her to, she had to do it.
After all, who would say "no" to the Doctor?
She pushed the button.
Shockwaves ran up Adriana's fingers, though the buzz felt empowering rather than confusing. The little black box began to flicker, to spark wildly, a nova of light blinding all in the room. At once, Adriana felt her feet lift off the ground, felt her body tumble through eternity-before all began nothing.
Then the something left in the nothing levitated in a great colorful portal and vortex of nothing. As Adriana felt her being tugged at from all sides, she did the one thing she thought of first.
She grabbed the black box, and pulled it off the Dalek.
The moment her fingers wrapped around that little device, she felt the pulling stop. Instead, it almost seemed as if the Dalek was being pulled farther and farther away. Soon, it began to blur into oblivion, incoherently screeching at the still gusts. All the while, Adriana tumbled forward, deeper and deeper, until the light swallowed her up.
#
Comics fluttered like dry leaves in all directions. The Doctor lowered his arm, only realizing how incredibly desperate that plan had been. Not one of his brightest moments, surely. Still, he had been a little distracted since Rose-
That didn't change the fact he had just sent another soul hurdling through time and space with a Dalek.
The cashier was long gone, so it gave The Doctor time to exit the store without asking any questions. After all, what was the cashier going to say? A fictional character came to burn down a comic store? She'd be sent to the nuthouse.
So the Dalek's inter-dimensional technology did succeed at something. First concealing the Cult of Skaaro in-between dimensions. Very clever, had it not been for all that dark goop they left behind. Still, there was a secondary goal. One of the Daleks thrust into Hell had been installed with a device that could punch holes in reality, to make traveling from universe to universe far easier.
Still, the repercussions of inter-dimension hopping were huge. The collapse of all reality was almost inevitable. Thankfully, the TARDIS was build to go through time and space. Alternate realities weren't too much harder, right?
It took a little modification, but the Doctor eventually found a way to follow the portals left by that little black box.
"Miss me, sexy?" The Doctor patted the door to his little blue police box, parked right outside of the store. It was only before he opened up the door that sirens blared. "Of all the times…"
A cop car pulled up behind the Doctor. He was an oafish looking guy, blocky, just a few brain cells short of a bulldog, though he certainly had the face of one. "This yours?"
"If it is?"
"Alright, British, it's parked in a handicapped space."
"Well, it just so happens I have a handicap."
"And it is?"
"Senior citizenship?"
The cop nodded, smirking.
"Also, I have a heart condition. Two, actually."
"Get your hands on the door."
Oh, just a brilliant start to an adventure. Ah well, he was sure that girl wouldn't get herself lost too quickly through time and space.
…hopefully.