This story is something I've been working on for over a week now and it's gotten personal for me in more than one way. Honestly I'm still not completely happy with the turnout, but this is as good as its gonna get.
There's actually a story behind it. My brother is a genius, literally. And when he was young he was mocked and teased about how calculated he was. So he shut people out and stopped acting passionate about anything and he's a very passionate person.
Now after time and being in a better environment he's become passionate again. He has a 4.0 GPA in college and is in a serious relationship with someone who's very good for him. He has friends with the same interests and is completely happy.
Today is his birthday and I wanted to put this out for him. So happy birthday big brother.
"Look, I know it's not three dimensional, but it's pretty cool. Right?" Deeks grinned, desperate to get the nearly silent, unresponsive boy to acknowledge him.
"I mean we've got the sunshine, the clean air..." The Detective gestured around the outdoor chess park. "Hey, the girls." He finished with a wink.
"Yeah." Byron mumbled, sliding his piece across the board. "Checkmate. I win. Again." He flashed the tiniest glimer of a smile.
"God, bud. Might wanna try giving me a chance, huh?" Deeks chuckled, sweeping his pieces back to set them on their proper squares.
"We don't have to do this." Byron said quietly, adjusting his frames nervously with one hand.
Sighing, Deeks dropped his hands to the board, letting his palms rest on its surface and staring at the squares between his long fingers. "I want to, Byron."
"No you don't." The boy shrugged. "Look, I know I wasn't your first choice for this program. And if you want to just go watch a movie until the afternoon is up that's fine with me."
Deeks lifted his fingers, unconsciously touching the corner of his jaw, before ruffling at his curls. "Maybe you weren't the one I was originally placed with, but there's stopping us from making this a fun couple of weekends."
"Except for the fact that we have virtually nothing in common." Byron centered a knight perfectly on its square.
"Well, I'm a pretty charming guy, so I'm sure we can find something to bond over." Deeks grinned, determined not to let anything deter from getting the boy to open up.
"Look, Marty. It's fine, you don't have to try hard or put in any extra effort, nobody else does and it's fine, I'm used to it."
Well, shit, Deeks winced. Those words were painstakingly familiar and pieced his sometimes shallow armor with more force than he expected, hitting him right where it hurt the very most.
The amount of places that gave him a sense of belonging, that gave him a sense of home were few and far between. The amount of people who gave him that feeling even a smaller number.
Growing up he refused to let anyone in, terrified they would see past the stories of him having another clumsy accident that sent him to the ER over the weekend, petrified they would notice the bruises when his too hot for California long sleeves rode up. Even more he afraid they see past the layers of jokes, laughter, and confidence he built up to guard himself.
Ray saw beneath those hidden walls almost immediately, because he had the same ones himself. He gave young Marty Deeks a small place to be safe and let himself be afraid without the fear of a belt cracking down over his back.
But even with the friendship Ray offered him, Deeks didn't let him in all the way, didn't let him become a home for fear of losing him.
The ocean became a home eventually. The ocean, the feel of a board beneath his feet and the noise of crashing waves let him be at peace, at home, because they never left, never truly hurt him and provided a comfort Deeks never knew was possible before.
"That's a shame, Byron. You seem like a pretty great kid to me." Deeks spoke honestly, his knee nervously bouncing along.
Letting out a small snort laugh that reminded Deeks of Kensi, Byron lifted his head, meeting the Detective's eyes for the first time. "My Dad is dead, Marty. My Mom is somewhere on the streets and my foster family does the best they can, but it's hard." He shook his head slowly, his gaze dropping back to the board almost as quickly as it had met Deeks'. "I'm not the type of person other kids want to to be friends with. I like things other kids hate, my type of fun is advanced polynomials and Opera in a language most people don't know. I'm a nerd, a geek and I am okay with that, so please don't pretend like you want to be here, or you're having a good time with me."
"Sometimes, Byron." Deeks started slowly. "Other people's opinions of us hurt, I get it, I know."
"That's not the point," he said and lifted the frames of his glasses to rub at his nose. "Your turn," he gestured to the board and Deeks turned his attention back to their current game.
Shifting a pawn in a half-hearted move, Deeks' thoughts focused back on the boy seated in front of him.
Belonging; a home. That was the problem, that was what he had craved, but never thought he'd be lucky enough to have, be good enough to have. That was what Byron Chester wanted as well, maybe the same fears that had plagued Deeks for years didn't hurt him, but maybe they weren't as different as they both assumed.
Whether it was law school or the LAPD he didn't have much luck finding a place where people wanted him. It might be an urban legend that every officer at the police department despised him, but he would never be winning the most popular cop of the year award from them either. Between getting plenty of their arrests released during his days as a lawyer or simply pissing them off as colleague, he was genuinely disliked around their offices.
His first day at NCIS he started with hope, hope that he would be accepted, hope that this would finally be an environment he could thrive in. But it had started off with the same mockery and barely concealed disgust he'd come to expect at the LAPD.
Then something changed and everything changed. The mockery and teasing was still there, but there a something lurking behind it; something that seemed a lot like real admiration and respect for him. Even when he was breaking in that hospital bed, Sam's straightforward and authentic words fixed him a little.
But there were still times. Times when he woke with Kensi's lips pressed to his own or a exposed patch of skin that he couldn't believe that he had Kensi Blye kissing him, that Kensi Blye wanted him.
There were things he was still learning about his teammates, but there were things he knew. Callen wouldn't work with someone he didn't trust. Sam wouldn't tell someone he respected them without meaning it. And Kensi Blye, oh God Kensi Blye wouldn't snuggle, or giggle or wake a man with soft kisses unless she loved him.
"Look, Byron." Deeks paused and shifted nervously in his seat. "Sometimes people say enough crap about you that you start to believe it, but other times you just don't let yourself believe it and you just shut them out."
"You're taking this too far," Byron grumbled.
"No, I'm not, you see. You shut these people out, but then it becomes easy and you just start shutting everyone out. You pretend to be an open book and hide behind jokes, or your case, variables and coefficients."
The boy laughed silently at that and Deeks grinned. "But one day you realize you don't care what those people say, because just one person's belief that you are worth it is enough."
Byron's hand lifted and he scratched roughly at his cheek. "You found that person?"
Tilting forward, Deeks tugged his phone out of the back pocket of the slightly tighter jeans Kensi had convinced him into buying. "Her name is, uh. Her name is Kensi." He grimaced at the clichés of the situation and held out the phone where a quick snapshot of his girlfriend was the set wallpaper.
"Oh," Byron's eyes drifted from the picture to Deeks' face. "Maybe we can still have some fun today."
Deeks shoved the phone back into his pocket, grinning madly. "Yeah?"
"Yeah," the boy smirked. "If I can kick your butt at none three dimensional chess again that is."
There was techno baring and the lingering smell of chocolate in the air when Deeks walked into his apartment later that day.
"Princess?"
"In the kitchen!" Her voice was garbled, a slight giggle coming out with her words.
"What the - I'm highly confused and very intrigued by this," Deeks gestured widely with both hands as he strode into the kitchen.
Kensi sat cross-legged on the counter, only wearing his tee shirt, a bag of cheese curls balenced precariously on her toes. On the floor Monty sat soaking wet and looking miserable.
"Want one?" She held out a curl and when he declined, tossed it to Monty, who judging by the cheese strains on his jaw had more than one.
"Kensi?"
Letting out a heavy sigh, she plopped a curl back onto the bag and set it by her side. "It's stupid."
"Never would have guessed." Deeks smirked, coming to lean against the counter beside her.
"I came over so I could be here when you got back, but I fell asleep and Monty climbed on top of me." She paused grimacing. "But I just so happened to have a chocolate bar on my lap right then, and it kind of melted. In between us."
"So you gave Monty a bath and put your chocolaty clothes in my hamper?"
"Hey! I could have washed them!" She bristled.
"Did you?"
"No."
"Thought so," he leaned over and wiped some stray pieces of chocolate from her cheek. "Things went well today, I think." He said softly, stroking her cheek longer than necessary.
"Yeah?" She grabbed his wrist to hold him place. "You do fun things with your little brother?"
"Yes actually. I convinced him to try fish tacos and he ended up loving them, maybe next weekend I'll get him in the ocean."
"You're doing this again?" Her mismatched eyes nearly bugged out if her head.
"And looking forward to it."
"What about Byron?"
"He said he was." Deeks spoke with a shrug.
Shaking her head, Kensi smiled and rubbed the back of his hand with the pad of her thumb. "Wow," she breathed out slowly.
"What?" A shy grin broke out over his face and he planted his other hand on her thigh.
"Only you could manage that, you know that, Deeks? And I wasn't even expecting you to get along with him, but at the same time I was. Because that's just who you are - and I'm just - I-"
"Hmm?" He stepped closer, standing between her legs.
"I'm just really proud that you're mine." She whispered, stuttering over the words and glancing nervously up at him before looking back to her lap.
His eyes softened and his arms came around her, pulling her tightly to his chest. "God, I love you so much, Kens."
She stiffened against him, fisting her hands in his shirt, then loosened. "I - I love you too."
His arms tugged her even closer and she buried her face in his shirt.
Suddenly laughing, Deeks' lips found her ear and pressed a kiss to its shell before mumbling. "Checkmate."