Dan accepts the third flute of champagne Nate offers him, laughs slightly at his joke about Penelope's hairstyle. He is wearing his finest suit, Armani, one that Lily picked out for him years ago. It's the second time Dan is wearing it that year, the first one was at his graduation party that Lily and Rufus organized for him.
He was sure that he would be wearing it tonight, because it's the only piece in his entire wardrobe that would meet Blair's expectations. It's important for him to look good, because everyone at that party knows about his lingering crush on Blair, and Gossip Girl posted earlier that day about how painful it would be for him and Nate to attend her engagement party, the one she is hosting with Charles Bartholomew Bass.
He has been at the party for more than an hour, but he has not got the chance to talk to Blair yet. Every time he tried to approach her, she was already engaged in a conversation with one of her mother's collaborator or Chuck's investors, or former Constance student. So he is standing in a corner of the Pierre's ball room, patiently waiting for his turn, trying not to stare too much over his champagne glass.
Dan feels a little out of place, because Nate is most of the time busy flirting with some German girl, and Serena hasn't arrived yet. He prefers to stay alone, though, because one could only stand Cyrus' vacation tales for too long. Only two people came to introduce themselves, because they recognized him, Daniel Humphrey, the author. Those two people were not aware of his complex relationship with the bride-to-be, he figures, because all the other guests just furtively glanced over at him, whispering to each other.
He is watching his father and Lily dance on The Way You Look Tonight when somebody taps on his shoulder.
"They are so adorable" Serena says, standing next to him, a glass already in her hand. She is looking at their parents, completely touched by their love. "I'm so glad they managed to go the distance"
It is not out of the blue that she thinks that, Dan knows it. A few weeks ago, they celebrated Lily and Rufus' five years anniversary, and it was striking how they still loved deeply each other.
"Have you seen Blair and Chuck?" Serena asks him, and Dan points over at Blair talking to an old man with a yellow bowtie. Serena nods when she spots her best friend, then she turns to Dan, offering him a smile "How are you doing?"
Dan shrugs "Good. I'm leaving in three days to visit Jenny in London. How are you?"
Serena keeps her burning glare hanging over him, doesn't say anything. Dan sighs.
"Look" he says "I know you want to be there for me and everything, but I don't feel comfortable talking to you about…it."
"Why not? I'm your friend, and Blair is my best friend. I'm your best option if you want to talk about it."
"Then let's just say I don't want to talk about it."
Serena stares at him some more, then shrugs. They down together their flutes and Serena waves the caterer for him to bring them two more.
"Do you think she looks happy?" Dan asks, when the caterer moves away. He knows she is looking at Blair too.
Serena smiles, probably from the satisfaction of opening his emotional shell.
"I do" she says. "But Blair might be the best actress I have ever known."
"Then what are you saying?" Dan turns to her "That she is pretending?"
"I'm just saying that if Blair weren't happy, but wanted us to think otherwise, she would have no problem at pulling that off. That's all. Come on, bottoms up"
Dan follows her lead and their glasses are empty within a few seconds. Even though they could be considered as grownup, now, Serena would always remain a little wild. Besides he suspects her to make him drink so he would talk to her more. If that's her plan, it's a good one.
"People are talking" he says "They think Nate and I are glooming over the fact that we didn't get Blair in the end"
"Let them talk, Dan. Blair's life isn't over, and Nate will be a dashing middle-aged man. There's still hope for them"
Dan doesn't answer. He knows she is joking, but it stings a bit that she didn't think of an alternate life for Blair with him. They both pick up another glass of champagne.
"I was walking in Central Park today" Serena says "And I came across those two teenagers, Gossip Girl addicts. They told me that now that Blair was getting married, you and I could have a fresh start."
Dan chokes on his champagne, several guests look at him with their noses turned up.
"It's not a crazy idea" Serena goes on "Because when you look at our past, then at our parents…"
"Serena…"
"But I told them it was impossible. You don't even know how to dance salsa. Besides, I couldn't be involved with someone that is desperately in love with my best friend"
"Oh God. Don't say that. I'm not ready to acknowledge it quite yet" Dan finishes his glass of champagne. He has had enough for the night.
"Listen Dan, I want to tell you something" Serena turns to him, looking him dead in the eyes "Tonight, it's only the engagement party. She is not married yet. You should go talk to her"
"And tell her what?" Dan bristles. "Leave your prince charming, epic love of your life and runaway to Brooklyn with me?"
"Did you just call Chuck Bass a prince charming?" Serena can't help laughing.
"There is no point, Serena. She has made her choice two years ago. She called our kiss a 'social experiment gone wrong'"
"She might have been wrong. She might have been in denial. Please find your balls, tonight, and go talk to her, Dan. I'm getting tired of you moping"
Dan rolls his eyes, to show her how much she annoys him at the moment.
"Alright" she finishes her glass too "Do whatever you want. I'm going to cock-block Nate"
She starts moving then stops to look at him, with a smile "You know what I like? You and Blair, that bond you have, it actually started out about me. So whatever happens tonight, I'll always be the reason why you started to care about her, in the first place"
Dan shakes his head in disbelief "You and Blair are so self-centered"
"Come on. You know you love us"
Right when she leaves, Dan looks at Blair again. He is shocked to see that she is looking back at him. With a slight smile, she nods toward a door leading to an adjacent room, indicating him to follow her when she starts walking. Dan doesn't know what to do with that sign, then resigns to oblige, picking up another glass of champagne on the way. He is going to actually need that one.
When he gets to the door, and slowly opens it, he can't help the way his heart is racing. It's a conference room, it seems. And Blair is leaning against the table, sipping on her champagne. When she sees him, she smiles.
"Remember when we were at this boring private viewing at MoMA, and you stole a bottle of Dom Perignon so we could get drunk on our way to Nate's birthday party in the Hamptons?" she asks, with a little laugh.
Dan can simply nod, wondering why she brings that kind of memory back.
"I think it was the last time I got drunk" Blair says "Are you having a good time, tonight?"
"The time of my life" Dan says. He doesn't mean to be sarcastic, or for his voice so sound so hoarse and nervous.
"I am sorry I haven't been able to talk to you earlier. There was just always someone to congratulate me. Irritating, really."
"Isn't Chuck going to worry if he doesn't see you?" Dan asks.
Blair shakes her head "I think he is way too busy to even notice. Besides, we're not married yet, he doesn't have to know about any of my whereabouts"
"Um..okay" Dan says. He starts drinking, and regrets he didn't take two flutes. "Are you excited about the wedding?"
Blair laughs "What kind of question is that, Humphrey? Of course, I am. Although, if someone had told me when I was fifteen that I would be marrying Chuck Bass…"
"Blair, why are we here?" The question is sudden, he knows it, but he can't bear being there with her, alone in this room while her fiancé is just outside celebrating their engagement. She has got to see that there is something wrong with that.
"I wanted some time alone with a friend" Blair answers "Aren't I allowed?"
"Nate and Serena are here"
"Nate is with some German girl and Serena would spend this time talking about herself" Blair rolls her eyes. "You're the only one I want to talk to, right now."
A silence settles, while Blair finishes her champagne. When her glass is empty, she looks down into it, her brows furrowed.
"I think I'm scared, Dan"
"People say it's normal to be"
"What if it's not?"
"Blair. It's normal to be"
He doesn't know why he keeps insisting on convincing her she is making the right choice. But then again, it's not like there is any other choice. Not to her, at least.
"Chuck is not nervous" Blair says, looking back at him.
"Have you ever seen Chuck Bass nervous?" Dan asks.
"Right" Blair smiles "I can't believe this is it. I am going to become Blair Bass. My initials will be B.B." She steps away from the table and walks toward him, then takes his hand in hers "Hi, Blair Bass, enchantée" she says, shaking his hand.
Dan shakes back, and doesn't release her hand when she stops. They are looking at each other, and Dan can't help notice her breathing is as erratic as his.
"Humphrey" she whispers "Are you going to say it or what?"
"Say what?"
"Humphrey, please. I need to picture an alternative"
"I don't understand what you mean, Waldorf?"
"Dammit, Humphrey!"
"Don't marry him"
Blair has a small gasp when she hears him. He knows it's what she wanted him to say, he is certain of it.
"Why not?" Blair asks
"Because you deserve more than becoming another Upper East Side wife. You deserve more than being showered with gifts so words don't get in the way" Dan says confidently, as if he had rehearsed the answer a thousand times before. Perhaps he has.
"It's not about what I deserve, Humphrey. It's about what is meant to be. Chuck and I were meant to be. Just like you and Serena by the way."
Dan knows she is throwing Serena in just to see his reaction, and just to unhinge him. He tightens his grasp around her hand.
"And just like Serena and I, just because you two were meant to be doesn't mean you were meant to last."
His argument seems to have an effect on her, because she swallows with difficulty.
"And what do you suggest I do, if I don't marry him?" Blair asks.
"You could break up with him tomorrow and move to Japan" Dan shrugs "Or you could run away with me tonight"
Blair laughs nervously, but Dan can see she is flirting with the idea, and it fires confidence through his veins. He pushes her, forcing her to walk backwards until she is halted by the table behind her. Then he brings his body against hers, starts whispering in her hear.
"You pick the destination. It can be Sri Lanka, or it can be the Queens. It can be the Upper East Side, even. We could go to more exhibits together, cook French cuisine together. We could go wine tasting in California. We could criticize up-coming novelist, film-makers, musicians. We could make love in a movie theater and at The Met."
"You can be such a girl sometimes, Humphrey" Blair whispers in his neck.
Dan steps away from her. Her cheeks are red but her breathing seems to have steadied. She is still holding his right hand, so Dan lifts the other one, and brushes the contour of her face with his fingers.
"I want to kiss you" he says
"Control your hormones"
Dan ignores her and gets closer again, leaning forward.
"Don't do that, Humphrey"
Again, he pretends he didn't hear, and put his lips on hers. She squeezes his hand in hers, but does not pull away. On the contrary, she opens her mouth under his, both inviting him and granting him access. Dan then releases her hand, only to bring one hand on her lower back and the other on the back of her neck, connecting their bodies. He forgets everything that isn't related to her tongue against his, her smell in his nose, her hair between his fingers.
Eventually they have to break the kiss for air, and Dan take a few steps backward so he can look at her.
"I have to go" she says "Serena is probably looking for me."
"Blair…"
But just like he did with her, she ignores him and walks past him to get out of the room. Dan stays there a bit, cursing every single fiber of his being. There could not have had better signs that he had royally blown it. Still, it didn't feel disappointing. It had had nothing to lose; he had taken the opportunity she had given him. Now it was up to let the fate she cared so much about decide.
When he gets out of the room, he finds his father and Lily leaving. When they offer him a ride home, he declines because he wants to be by himself. Besides, they are waiting for the car to arrive, and the sooner Dan gets out of there, the better it is. He tries not to run into Blair, or Chuck or Serena as he leaves. He catches the sight of Nate groping the German girl's ass in a corner of the ball room.
Dan takes the subway home, regrets it because the summer heat and his suit makes the ride excruciating. As he walks towards his building, he decides he is going to pack and take the first plane to London. Jenny would be a great reminder of why he did not need to go after Blair Waldorf again.
Dan opens the loft doors and the first thing he sees convinces him he is crazy.
"Took you long enough to get here" Blair says, like her standing in his living room on her engagement party night should not be disturbing. "I assume you took the subway"
"What are you doing here, Blair?"
"I am exhausted" she simply answers "Let's go to bed"
"Blair" his voice is firm, insistent. He wants to know what is going to happen.
Blair sighs, probably calling him names in her head. She walks toward him, and puts her hands on his chest.
"The thing is, Dan, you've managed to get me thinking about an alternative tonight."
Dan's throat is dry. He should have stolen a bottle of champagne that night too. He doesn't even move when Blair leans up to kiss him softly on the lips.
"You told me to pick the destination" she says "I choose Brooklyn"