A/N: Hi guys! I'm sorry this is late...I know I've been promising a new fic for a while, but school is really killing my spare time. Sorry.

Just so you know, this isn't completed yet, and I do intend to finish this up soon. It's rated M for a reason people – Lemon next chapter.

So, enjoy this, and soon I'll have the second half up, with that sexy lemon I know all of you want deep down. Don't hide it! Be proud and strut your stuff like Kakashi and Icha Icha :P

Alrighty... thanks, and don't forget to review! Gimme some ideas, because I'm not really happy with the idea I have for the ending right now.

Disclaimer:

Me: *Henge no Jutsu!* OH CHYEAAHS, look who's transformed into Masashi! YESS! I NOW OWN-

Sai: ...Hn...Kai!

...

...

...

You're...Ugly.

Me: *Sniff* ...please bear my children.

And without further ado...

Sai watched in utter silence as the pink-haired kunoichi stared with glazed eyes at nothing in particular. They sat together under an old cherry blossom tree, after her decision to stay after a team 7 training session. Sai decided to stay too, not wanting to have to come along to Ichiraku with Naruto and end up paying anyway. So he sat next to her, sketching quietly. He had drawn the landscape, the trees, and would've started drawing Sakura, but he feared the chakra infused punch that she would definitely deliver if he started. Now that he was done, he noticed that she had not moved an inch in hours, her eyes trained on the same spot in the sky that darkened in the twilight.

Her fingers drifted in the grass, as though pulling her fingers through one's hair, and she remained silent. She did not move, did not acknowledge that he sat next to her, and soon enough, he was watching her eyes and wondering if this was another one of those complicated emotions that everyone but he seemed to possess.

Sai would have thought she had been paralysed if not for the slow rhythmic breathing that made her modest chest rise and fall slightly. She was so still that it was inhuman - even hardened, heavily trained ANBU members could not rival her motionlessness. It confused him. He wanted to know what could make one act in such a manner.

"Hey, Ugly." he voiced, watching her reaction.

She did nothing except raise one perfect, slender eyebrow, and clench her jaw slightly.

"It's getting dark. We should leave." he notified her, gesturing to the ever-darkening sky. She replied almost instantaneously.

"Then leave Sai. Go. I won't stop you." she murmured expressionlessly.

Sai stared her for a last second, and then got up and began to leave. As he walked away, he paused when he heard her chuckle quietly.

When he turned around, his eyes widened when he saw shaking her head, laughing, despite the crystalline tears that flowed in rivulets down her face.

Before he could even question her actions she held up a hand to stop the inevitable questions she sensed.

"...You'd think I'd be used to it by now." she laughed bitterly.

When he raised a wary eyebrow in confusion, she choked softly before continuing.

"...Why must everyone I care about leave me?" she asked him, searching the cold depths of his eyes for an answer he did not have.

He searched his mind for an answer, anything to stop the inevitable tears he could feel coming.

This had happened before. Although she tried to hide it most times, he always caught her, and the tears that she shed, when she walked over the bridge to Konoha, whenever she went to the third training ground, every time she passed the Uchiha complex where his clan once lived.

Every time she looked into his own eyes and saw someone else behind those obsidian orbs.

"Answer me, Sai." she commanded weakly, the tears collecting in her eyelids, and dripping down her cheeks, her nose, down her lips.

Sakura was one of those women that were beautiful when they cried. She didn't have the insane hiccoughing, or the snot-choked voice, or even a hysterical whining noise that women made when they sobbed uncontrollably.

Sakura's face had a heartbreaking expression on her features. Her eyes were shiny and bright, despite the tears that clouded her irises. Her lips were pouted unconsciously, and the tip of her nose was a soft pink that made her look so innocently beautiful that she appeared to be an angel.

Sai would never admit that he found her so exquisite. He continued to call her ugly, because he had read somewhere that women like to be called the opposite of what they were. Now, in her apparent misery, he felt the ghost of an unknown emotion stir deep within his buried depths.

He could do nothing but stare. He knew that most people were uncomfortable when they were stared at, but he couldn't find a reason to pull away. The crease in her perfect, pale skin above her eyebrows... The way her teeth bit her lip in attempt to stifle the sobs that threatened to emerge...all down to the way her slender fingers held on tightly to the tufts of grass located at the base of the cherry blossom tree. The petals of the bloomed flowers began to fall, and Sai thought for an incredulous moment, that this was just like the movie that Naruto had forced him to watch last week. Only...it had ended with the heroine dancing under the petals.

Sai wondered what Sakura would look like dancing in the petals of her namesake.

She had apparently forgotten him, or maybe she just didn't care anymore. He wasn't sure how to approach her; he couldn't stay here, rooted to the spot five meters away from her, and leaving was out of the question. It wasn't because he wanted to stay, but leaving would make everything worse.

He took a tentative step forward, and kept walking silently, til he was at her side. He kneeled down, watching her trembling physique with perplexed eyes. The flower petals were littered on her lap, her legs, her hair, yet she made no move to remove them. He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out.

"Sai...will you stay with me? Just for a while?...Please?" she whispered delicately, wiping away stray tears with warm fingers, bleached pale in the moonlight.

He paused for a second before answering. "...If that's what you want." he murmured softly, ashamed of the huskiness in his voice.

He moved closer and sat next to her, leaning against the trunk of the tree, and gazing at the stars that had slowly began to emerge shyly. With a resigned sigh, she too lay back down against the trunk, not at all minding the shoulder to shoulder contact she was making with the emotionless artist.

They sat in sheer silence, so quiet, it was eerie. The usual birds in the sky had already flown to their nests, roosting for the night. The sun had finally set, and so it was black as pitch, save for the crescent moon, and the tiny stars shining like little diamonds in a black tapestry.

Hours, minutes, days, or years could have passed, yet neither knew how long they sat against that tree. He was aware of how she edged closer until she rested her head against his shoulder. He didn't know what that meant. Affection...No, he thought. He wasn't the one she pictured when her fingers absentmindedly drifted across the pale skin of his forearm.

"Sai..." she breathed, her dainty eyes fluttering shut.

"Hm?" he murmured faintly.

She looked at him then, and he was yet again taken aback by the intense emotions on her face. She looked at him again, her features composed in a way that he had never seen them before.

What was that? No one had ever looked at him that way before. It was similar to something he had seen form Yamanaka Ino, but it was still different. It was...unnerving.

Could it be?

...Lust?

But also...

...Some kind of pain?

She leaned closer, her eyes still pained, yet full of the new emotions she displayed. Sai was thoroughly confused. He didn't understand how a person could feel such things...Lust and pain...it seemed a dangerous mix.

She reached out closer to him, running her hands along his forearm, until she gripped him, vicelike, under his elbow. His eyes widened in alarm, and he automatically leaned back from her advances, a hand repositioning itself back behind him to stop him from falling over.

"Sakura-san...what are you doing?"

She sucked in another breath through her teeth, tracing her fingers up his bicep, up his shoulder, and dipping her fingers into the hollow above his collarbone, making him gasp momentarily. She ignored him, leaning close enough that he could feel her breath on his neck, not knowing - or caring that he had become a tense statue under her administrations.

"Sakura-san...Saku-" he inhaled sharply as he she pressed her lips against his neck, her tongue darting out as if to taste the skin on his neck.

"Sakura..."

She smiled bitterly when he dropped the appropriate honorific.

"Sakura...what are you doing?"

He gently pushed her back to see the intentions written on her face as he observed her with bewildered eyes.

"Just...let me..."she breathed, her face the epitome of distress, as she slowly lifted two fingers and run them softly down the side of his face. Her fingers left an invisible burning trail down his skin. He closed his eyes at the feeling of her ministrations, feeling utterly trapped, unknowing of the appropriate response to her actions.

If I pull away, will she cry again? Or will she just hit me?

"Let you what?" he murmured inaudibly, eyelids low-set over his obsidian orbs as he watched her lips move down his shoulder with an entranced, yet fearful fascination.

"Let me...forget."

She pulled away for a split second, and glanced at his face, ashen and beautiful.

He looks so much like him.

In her eyes, she didn't see Sai. She saw the replacement for her true love hidden in the facets of his obsidian orbs, the colour so...similar...

Until he comes back. I promise. Sasuke, when you come back, I'll run to no-one but you.

Maybe it was denial. Or some bizarre way for her to cope with her loss. He had left her more than 3 years ago, yet not a day had passed when she didn't miss him. Not a second, not a breath, not a heartbeat had left her, without his name dancing with them. Breath. Sasuke. Heartbeat. Where is he? Blink. I want him to come back. His memory was forever trapped in her mind. And she could do nothing, only hope for his return, wait for him to love her enough to come back to Konoha.

She knew that she would always be waiting.

And hell, she knew he wouldn't come.

But she hoped. Because that was all she could do. Hope, pray, plead, anything to keep his fast fading memory engraved in her mind.

And if it meant pretending he was Sasuke...

...Maybe that would be enough.

Looking her newest teammate, she really had to pity him. He didn't know what she was doing, how to react- and deep down she knew it wasn't fair to use him for her own sick, twisted attempts at holding on to Sasuke. But she was selfish enough to keep going. She could see that he was so confused...so unsure of how he was supposed to react. She could see how his pale, washed-out skin began to warm in her smooth yet strong hands. She could see the rosette hue his cheeks had begun colour to.

She hoped he could see what she wanted. Needed.

He sighed inaudibly as she ran a warm hand down his chest. He revelled in the touch of her skin against his shirt, and his sigh turned into a startled gasp as her hands met the skin of his abdomen, unclothed by the midriff shirt he wore.

"Do you like it? ...Do like it Sasu- I mean, Sai?" she quickly corrected herself.

"...I am..."

"What?"

"...Unsure...I...How would one react in this situation, Sakura-san?" he gasped again when she rubbed a slow circle around the ring of muscles around his belly button.

She smiled for a second.

"Just...relax. Use your instincts. It'll come to you."

"...Okay."

I used to hate that stupid shirt. Now...it's working in my favour.

Her fingers drifted slowly back up to his neck, and before caressing his collarbone briefly, she slowly unzipped his shirt, revealing the top half of his chest. She gazed at his body, flawless skin, broad shoulders, strong abdominals, and that sexy hollow made by his pelvic bones that pointed to nether regions.

Having an ANBU member for a teammate definitely had its advantages, she decided.

His eyes, so dazed and peaceful suddenly snapped back into consciousness when she slipped the garment off his shoulders. He leaned away again, suddenly anxious.

"...Saku- ...Sakura-san...I think...this is wrong. We shouldn't do this." he advised seriously, reaching for the shirt.

"Huh. Why?" she scoffed, irritated now. Her hands still caressed his body, trying to lull him back into his previous state.

"I have read that it brings dishonour to a lady to lose her virtue before marriage." He recited with about the same emotion as the textbook.

She hummed in surprise. "I didn't know you thought that."

"Thought what? Sakura." He warned, as her hand strayed lower. He pulled her hand away, but she just went back to his chest.

"Lady? What happened to ugly bitch?" she asked skeptically.

"You are an ugly bitch. But you are a virgin, ugly bitch, and will remain for so for a long time."

She knew that he probably didn't understand how very insulting that was, so she tried to ignore his last words by distracting herself from pulling him limb from limb. She pressed her fingers into his warm, smooth chest waiting for a reaction. Her plan failed though, he had held her back with two strong arms and was now trying to stare her in the eye, feeding her rationalism.

She exhaled angrily, and leant back, turning away from the suddenly-all-responsible artist, who moved a few paces away from her to give her space. She was frustrated with him, and she didn't know how she was going to deal with things now that her replacement Sasuke had also pushed her away. That's all she ever got from him. Pushed away. And now, Sai was doing it too. She leant back against the tree, shaking her head in anger.

Fuck this. Fuck Sai. Fuck Sasuke. Fuck the world. Fuck my life. Fuck everything.

He watched in wary concern as she battled a losing war in her head, how she clenched her fists in anger, how she gritted her teeth. He noted how cold and narrow her eyes were now, when less than a minute ago they were clouded in that strange mixture of emotions.

"Sakura-san...what is wrong with you?"

He remained impassive, and didn't flinch when she exploded.

"My name is Sakura, okay, Sai? Sakura. Not Sakura-san. Not kunoichi. Not FUCKING UGLY, OKAY? SAKURA! IT'S SAKURA! That's all. That's all it'll ever be!" she screamed, standing up and drawing tremendous amounts of chakra into her fist.

Hm. She actually growled. Do females usually display this behaviour?

"SAKURA. HARUNO SAKURA. ALL I'LL EVER BE IS HARUNO SAKURA, ALRIGHT? NOT UCHI-" she yelled before her voice broke, and she swallowed uneasily, refusing the tears leeway onto her cheeks.

Sai didn't move an inch, but watched in absolute shock as she struggled to keep her inner self under control. He had never seen her so angry...not even when Naruto would do something stupid. No, she was serious. And he'd have to be careful, or she wouldn't hesitate to kill him.

"AND YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT'S WRONG? HO- YOU KNOW WHAT'S WRONG?" she bellowed, eyes glowing like green fire.

She strolled over to where he was sitting, and picked him up easily with one hand and hauled him to his feet. She refused to be affected by the look of cold indifference in his eyes.

Does he feel nothing?

"LOOK AT ME!" She sobbed, shaking his shoulders, when he was clearly staring her silently in the eye. "Oh Kami...Look at me. Just look at me." she cried, sinking down to the ground, clutching at his legs. Her nails dug into the back of his pants at his knees.

"I am looking at you, Sakura." he murmured softly, looking down at her with eyes that for a second were almost sympathetic.

"Why...why...what did I do wrong? Why...wasn't I...ever enough?" she choked out between hysteric sobs.

Even when she couldn't speak, even when she was at his feet, even when the tears that she cried were for the man that had selfishly left her, he still thought she was beautiful.

"Sasuke...come back...Sasuke...please...I love you...Sasuke..."she whispered like a mantra, sobbing into his legs.

His eyes tightened at the spectacle in front of him. It always led back to Uchiha Sasuke. He had reason enough to hate the bastard after seeing everything he'd ever done to her. She was calling out for her lost lover...the one that never loved her in return. His eyebrows furrowed, his eye sight grew blurry, and his eyelids felt heavy.

He felt the warm liquid trail down his face.

Startled, he lifted a single finger to his face, and wiped at the moisture.

...Tears?

He looked down at Sakura again, who was still crying at his legs, whispering his name over and over, and felt that familiar pang in his chest. He hadn't known what it was- or how to stop it, but all he knew was that when she was upset...

...That was when he felt it.

He knelt down; looking into her glossy eyes, and took in her sight again. Lovely as ever...but he always thought of her perfection in an artistic way.

So why is this time different?

Her face was less than an inch away from his, and he could see every tear clinging to her eyelashes.

Then when she spoke, he finally knew.

"I'm sorry Sai." she mumbled, and green eyes met obsidian.

Oh Kami...I'm in love with her.

While he fought to stop the explosion of feeling in his body from showing on his face, he took deeper breaths, trying to stop his trembling fingers from meeting her eyes. He had never felt so justified in his whole life – never had a reason to care so deeply before.

And that was why he was so incredibly terrified.

When he finally had exerted enough self control to listen to what she was saying, she was still apologising.

"I didn't mean to yell at you. I just...really needed...I-"

It didn't make any rational sense, but then when it came to Sakura, nothing ever made rational sense. It seemed to work out somehow, but there was no logic. No rhyme or pattern. Everything she did always surprised him. He would always be a step behind, trying to learn the reasons for what she did. It was often that he didn't get any answers.

And it shouldn't have been happening. Sai was raised in ANBU root – and the training he had undergone taught him to forget emotions, because emotions sparked hatred, and hatred led to war.

It's all Uzumaki Naruto's fault. I might have felt like an outcast without these unpredictable emotions, but at least I was safe.

At least I knew what I was doing.

She looked distraught. Confused. Angry. Chaotic. Depressed. Everything. All her emotions were written on her face, and finally he understood what was wrong with her. Finally, he understood why he cared so much.

He cut her off, placing cool fingers on her pink satin lips, ignoring the twist in his stomach at the unfamiliar action, similar to stage fright.

"...Ugly, just shut up."

And somewhere in the incoherent madness of his mind that was screaming at him to stop, his lips found hers.

Hope you likeeeee! Suggestions and ideas are most welcome. I love my readers! :D

Oh, and that review button down there is a little itchy. Maybe clicking it will help..?