Disclaimer: CSI New York and its characters are the property of Jerry Bruckheimer and CBS. No infringement is intended, just pure fun.
~ This one's for Jessica. Happy Birthday, gal pal! ~
. . .
Mac quietly entered his bedroom and stopped right in the doorway. The peaceful and sleepy atmosphere of the room made him feel almost as if he were an intruder. Outside the morning was in full swing. The streets were flooded with noise and rush. But here a perfect silence hung in the air. It was so quiet he could hear the low murmur of the air-conditioning and the monotonous ticking of the clock. And he could almost hear Jo's steady breathing.
The blinds were down, letting in only a small amount of sunlight. Its beams managed to fall solely on the floor, leaving the bed in the undisturbed shadow. But as the sun climbed higher in the sky, the light would crawl towards the bed. Towards her. First it would innocently fall on the sheets. Then it would lay on her bare shoulder, highlighting the golden hue of her skin. Finally it would reach her face, tickle her eyelids, wanting to get beneath them and reflect in her eyes.
It would be around noon then, so there was a chance that she would open her eyes and stretch herself languidly and feline-like.
Mac slowly walked towards the bed and sat on the edge in order to watch her for a moment. She was lying across the bed, occupying much more than a half of it. Her face was cuddled into a pillow. His pillow, to be exact. He smiled again at the thought it would smell of her from now on. Like his whole bed.
She was bringing this smell to his bed regularly now. Not every night, but at least a few times a week. And every time she stayed at his place, they made love. Sometimes more than once. He kept thinking back about their first time together and how bitter-sweet it had been. Now all the bitterness was gone. It wasn't about the desperate need, about the illusory comfort. Not only about the chemical reaction in the brain. Sure, it was about the want and the desire as well. But there was more. There was always more.
He held out his hand and gently brushed her cheek. It was her day off, so he didn't want to wake her, but he didn't want to leave without saying a word either. He had to whisper her name a few times before she began to stir.
''Jo, I'm leaving for work.'' He whispered.
''Hmm?''
''It's half past eight. But you can sleep as long as you want.''
''Mmm.''
''Will you call me when you run your errands? We could grab lunch together. Or go out for dinner.'' Mac offered, toying with the strand of her hair.
''Mhm.''
''OK.'' He smiled. Then he leaned forward and kissed her bare shoulder before the sunlight did it.
''Will ya go already?'' She murmured, her voice laced with sleep, her accent noticeable even more than usual. Her eyes stayed closed, but the corner of her mouth twitched lightly. She was fighting a smile. He leaned towards her again and placed a little kiss on the corner of her mouth, letting her know he had noticed.
''Bye.'' He whispered and got up. Once more he glanced at her before leaving, trying not to think how much he wanted to bury himself under the sheets next to her and share the moment of pure laziness, simply enjoying her warmth and closeness. But he couldn't. He could only hope that part of him would stay with her in her dreams.
. . .
''I've been trying to meet you for a long time.'' The man said. Jo locked her eyes with his. It sounded like a really lame picking up line. She was more than aware of her charm. It could attract a man on the spot. And it had, in the past. If that was it, then she would simply say she wasn't interested. But something was telling her that wasn't the issue here. There was nothing smarmy about him. Quite the opposite. He seemed honest. A little unsettled, but she was sure his intentions were good. Whatever he was up to.
''That part's accomplished.'' She said simply, trying to sound encouraging, wanting to know already the reason why he had followed her.
''I don't really even know where to start.'' He admitted. ''Beginning, I guess. I was born in Tuscaloosa, Alabama.'' He said. She wanted to make a joking comment about how literally he started from the beginning, but the mention of her home town caught her attention.
''Roll Tide!'' She exclaimed cheerfully and smacked her hands against the table. ''I'm from Alabama. I went to undergrad in Tuscaloosa.'' Then the cold reason prevailed over the excitement. It couldn't be a coincidence. ''But you know that, don't you?'' She asked with a sly smile. There had to be some connection. ''Did we meet before?''
''No.'' He shook his head.
''Do we have mutual friends?'' She tried again.
''No.'' He denied once more. ''Not exactly.'' He added quickly. She quirked her eyebrow at him. That was quite mysterious, not making anything clear. ''Eight years ago, I was diagnosed with a heart disease called hypertrophic cardiomyopathy.'' The term that he had learned by heart the same day he had heard it for the first time. Not at all familiar to ordinary people. ''Um, it was very hard for my heart to pump blood and I was extremely sick.'' He briefly explained.
''Well, you look very healthy now.'' Jo told him with a smile. The silent question about what she had to do with it was hanging in the air.
''That's because three years after my condition was discovered, on September 13, I was given a donor heart.'' That date. It echoed in Jo's ears along with the loud pounding of her heart that came out of nowhere. ''A very successful transplant. An incredible match, and a healthy donor.'' It was like the whole world around her stopped existing. Everything went frozen, meaningless. There were only his words. That date. Her mind put two and two together as quick as always. It was all reasonable. Every detail matched. But it didn't make being able to believe in it any easier.
''That was you?'' She asked, as if she wanted to force her mind to acknowledge the reality.
''Yes.''
''You got her heart?'' She asked again.
''Yes.'' He patiently confirmed. He kept talking, but his words didn't seem to get to her, being drowned out by the rush of her own thoughts. She had never thought about it. She had forbidden herself to think about it. The mental image of the beloved one lying on a table in a cold morgue was way too much itself. Tormenting herself by the thought of Leanne's body being cut into pieces and used to serve someone's else was simply unbearable. But right now it hit her like a truck. The man that was sitting across the table from her had in his chest Leanne's heart. A piece of her.
''You have my sister's heart.'' She whispered. It wasn't a question anymore. It was a statement. The air in the coffee shop was deadly still. She took a deep breath, but the feeling of not being able to get it into her lungs wouldn't leave her. She made a desperate attempt to deceive her mind that all this didn't have any deeper meaning. It was just an organ. It wasn't her heart anymore, it was now his. Nothing more than a spare part.
Her own heart instantly rebelled against such a thought. It put up a fight, sending to her mind all those memories she kept buried deep inside. The heart in his chest was the same heart which she had heard for the first time while watching the ultrasound recording her mom brought after the visit to the doctor. It was the same heart that had gotten broken in fifth grade by Paul Greene, who threw away the Valentine's card from her. It was the same heart that pounded like crazy when Jo was opening the mail from the University of Alabama for her, because her own hands were shaking too much.
All memories she tried not to remember suddenly rushed through her head like a fast-forwarded movie. All the happy moments when her little sister's heart was filled with joy. All those moments when it ached with sorrow or trembled with anxiety. All the time they had spent together. The time that ended way too soon.
''Whoa.'' She breathed out.
She felt like slipping back into that dark place. The sorrow she just managed to tame started to run wild once again. And now it was threatening to tear her apart with its claws. It was like aching before actually getting hit as the pain was too familiar. She felt dizzy and breathless. She needed to run away, to hide somewhere. There was only one place she could feel safe and calm again. In his arms. He had managed to make the pain subside and finally disappear completely. He had enveloped her with a cocoon of happiness, not letting the sorrow find its way back to her. But now her world trembled. She was falling and only he was able to catch her before she hit the ground.
''I'm sorry.'' She whispered. Then she rose from her chair and left the coffee shop.
. . .
A/N Many thanks to UrbanMuse who proofread this chapter and did it at the speed of light (if not faster :)
There will be a follow up, hopefully soon.