Disclaimer: I don't own The Fairly Odd Parents, just the characters you don't recognize
Author's Note: I'm ba-aack! And this time, not with that sequel i mentioned, but with my own version of how Cosmo and Wanda came to be. There's more about that in the summary. You'll see some scenes here that might be familiar if you read New Girl (and we'd all better pray this one goes better than that garabge!), except with a little tweeking involved. Now, on with the summary!
Summary: Cosmo and Wanda seemed like the perfect couple, until Wandissimo found out about them! What happens when Wanda's jealous ex does everything in his power to eliminate the green-haired fairy from her life?
Chapter One - Swirly Pink Angel/Messy Green Hair
I was staring out of my window absentmindedly when I first saw her and her swirly pink hair. She was walking with two other girls, but I barely noticed them. All I saw was her. She made me feel tingly all over. I wished I knew her name…
"Cosmo?" my friend, Venus, asked from across my bedroom. "Are you okay?"
"Huh?" I turned around. "Oh, yeah, I'm fine."
"Are you sure? You look sort of…sick."
I felt kind of sick, but it was different from the runny-nose kind. I wasn't sure what kind it was. All I knew was that it was the swirly pink haired girl's fault.
"Anyway," Venus said, "Donna's cousin is coming up on the night of our senior prom. I thought we could go out to eat with her afterwards. She really wants to meet you, you know."
"You told her about me?" I asked in amazement. I didn't think I was important enough to be told about.
"Of course!" Venus said to me. "We've been best friends for, like, ever!"
That was true. Venus's family moved next door to mine right after I was born. We were always playing together. When she made friends that were girls, like Donna and Summer, they were my friends, too. And those were the only girls Mamma ever let play with me. She really doesn't like other girls much.
"So, how's it sound?"
"How does what sound?"
Venus laughed. She never got mad at me, she just laughed whenever I said something stupid. "I was saying how you, me, Donna, Summer, and Athena, Donna's cousin, can go out to eat after the prom. You know, as a group of friends."
"How can I go to the prom," I asked, "if I don't have a date?"
"Who cares?" Venus asked. She never liked dating. "I'm sure Donna, Summer, and I can share you all night."
I really wanted to dance with that pink-haired girl, but she probably had a date already. She probably didn't even go to my school. Besides, Venus was joking anyway. I could tell by the way her eyes lit up. Her eyes always light up when she's joking. She says she doesn't know why.
"Yeah," I answered, "I guess that sounds like fun."
"Great!" Venus said. "The girls and I are going dress shopping tomorrow. You can come if you want. There's probably some nice bow ties there."
"Okay," I answered happily. I loved being with Venus and her friends. They're always really nice to me and we usually have fun together. And I did need something to wear if I was going to the prom as a popular girl's friend.
Venus is the second most popular girl at our school. The Tooth Fairy is first, but I don't pay enough attention to know who's third. Anyways, everyone knew we're friends, but no one liked it. That's why Luther only beat me up when Venus, Summer, and Donna weren't around.
"Great again!" Venus said. "Just make sure you let your mother know where you're going to be before we pick you up. Is noon okay?"
"Sure," I answered.
Venus looked me over. "You still look sick, Cosmo."
That was because I was still thinking about that pink haired girl. No, she wasn't a girl. She wasn't even a fairy; she was an angel.
I was still thinking about the angel the next day at the mall with my friends. We'd been there for two hours. I had already found my bow tie, but Summer still needed her dress, so while Venus helped her out, me and Donna stood by the mirrors.
"What is taking you so long?" Donna asked impatiently. At least, I think that's the adjective I wanted to use…if adjective is a word. Donna had picked out her dress already. It was simple, yet fancy. It looked really nice on her.
"This dress has to be perfect!" Summer called from the dressing room.
Venus flew out into the room Donna and I were in with a reject dress in her arms. "We only get one senior prom, you know."
"Yeah, yeah," Donna mumbled. "I'm starving!"
"Me, too!" I agreed. I hadn't eaten since early that morning.
"You two can go to the food court if you want," Venus said to us. "We don't care."
"I'm all for that plan!" Donna said. The two of us poofed to the food court.
"So," I asked her when we got there. "What do you want?"
"We could just split some fries."
"Sounds good to me!" I answered. At that point I would have eaten a hubcap.
"All right," Donna said. "I'll order, you grab a table, 'kay?"
I nodded and looked around. The small room was considerably empty—I really wonder what that five-syllable word means—except for a bunch of nerds and Wandissimo, Fairy World's most liked teenager. It was weird that he didn't have a girl at his side.
I took a seat in view of Wandissimo's. I didn't mean to, it just happened, although I'm glad it did.
The door to the girls' bathroom swung open and out walked…the pink haired angel! I couldn't take my eyes off her as she flew. She went towards the exit. "Please," I whispered, "don't leave!"
She made a turn and headed straight towards…Wandissimo!
"Ah, my swirly haired love," he said, "you have returned!"
"Oh, give it a rest, Wandissimo!" her wonderful voice called out. "I only went to the bathroom!"
"To you, it may have been four point seven minutes," he answered, "but to me, it was a lifetime. I love you."
From that moment on, I hated Wandissimo, but I never knew why at first. Maybe because his last sentence was ringing in my ear for the rest of the afternoon.
Donna came back with the french fries and sat down across from me. "Are you all right?" she asked in a scared voice.
I could imagine why. I felt my face turn red with anger, so I must have looked as mad as I felt. "Yeah," I said, trying to shake it off. "I'm fine."
Donna raised her left eyebrow. "Whatever you say, Cosmo."
I kept staring at the angel and Wandissimo. He looked really happy, but she didn't. She looked bored, as if she didn't want to be there.
I must have been staring for a long time, longer than I thought, because Donna waved her hand in front of my face and said, "Dude, are you sure you're okay?"
"Huh?"
"What are you staring at?' she asked and turned around. "Hey, there's Wanda and Wandissimo!"
Wanda…
Donna flew over to say hello, leaving me to sit there and watch. Gosh, she was beautiful! I knew right then and there that I wanted to marry that girl.
What was that called?
Oh, right, love.
I definitely loved Wanda!
"Oh, come on, Wanda!" my best friend Daisy said to me. "He's the sexiest fairy in all of Fairy World! What's so bad about going to the prom with him!"
Luna, Daisy's sister, added, "You're supposed to go with your boyfriend, stupid!"
"I know," I answered, "but…oh, I don't know, there's no spark between us anymore."
Luna nodded like she understood—and she probably did—but Daisy snorted and said, "Who cares? He's HOT, Wanda!"
"Grow up!" Luna shouted to her sister.
"I'm grown up enough to know the difference between hot and ugly!"
I laughed. Daisy and Luna's fights are usually over pointless things like that.
Now, back to Wandissimo.
Back when we first started dating, I had looked at Wandissimo the same way Daisy did; a really hot guy with a sexy accent. Now, it's been nine months since we'd dated, the whole school year, and I saw he was an obsessive freak who wouldn't let me leave his side. Thank goodness he had to work that day, or else I'd be suffering through another trip to the movies or the mall. Sometimes he'd make me go to the Pointy Crown, or he'd use his breaks at the Fairy World Magic Springs Spa to give me a massage. When you're suffering with Wandissimo, you're never bored.
I couldn't break up with him, though. I tried that once, and it didn't work. All that happened was begging and crying. It was sickening. I had to stop it.
"So," Daisy asked, still glaring at her sister, "do you want to come to Uncle Knuckle's Chuckle Bunker with us tomorrow, Wanda? My uncle can get us in free!"
I sighed disappointedly. "I can't. Wandissimo is taking me to the mall."
Luna frowned. "You can't break it off?"
I shook my head. I did need a prom dress, since it was only two days away. And besides that, Daisy was right…Wandissimo wasn't so unfortunate in the looks department.
I did realize the next afternoon that he was really bad when it came to compliments. Every single dress I tried on made me look awful. "Don't make it so simple, you're pretty enough as you are." And then, I went simpler, he said, "The simplicity of that dress makes you look less fortunate than you actually are." It was extremely frustrating.
I finally found a dress that I liked, and even if Wandissimo didn't, I bought it. He decided he was hungry, so we went to the food court.
I really hate the food court. Everything there is extremely fattening and greasy.
"Mi amor," Wandissimo said to me, "what can I end your hunger with?"
I rolled my eyes. "I'm not hungry, Wandissimo. Just get me an iced tea, I'll be in the bathroom."
Wandissimo tried to kiss my hand, but I pulled away and sped off in the direction of the girls' room. I tried to figure out how long I could hide in there before Wandissimo noticed I wasn't planning on coming back. Beneath his long hair was the bran of an ocelot, so I figured I had a good ten minutes before he went looking for me. Maybe he'd be gone by the time I got out.
After five minutes, I started to feel guilty. I poofed up a window on the door that looked out into the food court. Wandissimo had just sat down with his food and my drink, and I saw Donna, my neighbor and good friend, walk in with some green-haired Fairy. I wondered what she was doing with him. Donna had a boyfriend, but he was part of the exchange program that let Wandissimo spend his senior year at our school. I guess he was just a friend. I'll tell you one thing; he looked about twelve times better than Wandissimo ever could!
After a few more minutes of debating, I decided that if Wandissimo got too annoying, I could "just notice" that Donna was in the food court and go make a conversation. So I flew out of the bathroom.
As soon as I sat down across from my boyfriend, he said to me, "Ah, my swirly haired love, you have returned!"
"Oh, give it a rest, Wandissimo!" I yelled "I only went to the bathroom!"
"To you, it may have been four point seven minutes," he answered, "but to me, it was a lifetime. I love you."
Oh, sure he did!
"Wandissimo," I started to say, "I really—"
"Oh, I cannot wait until the prom tomorrow! We will dance all night." He moved his eyebrows up and down. It was extremely sexy, but make me want to puke.
"I will pick you up at seven, my sweet, and then we will begin out magical evening."
"We're Fairies, Wandissimo," I said. "Every night is magical in some way."
"This is not what I meant," he said, twirling the ring he had on his finger. His old girlfriend had given it to him.
"Hey, Wanda!" Donna said, thankfully flying up to our table to stop Wandissimo from talking anymore.
"Oh, hi, Donna!" I said almost too energetically. Luckily, Wandissimo didn't notice.
My angry boyfriend looked at the clock on the wall. "I must leave now, Wanda. My shift begins now."
With that he poofed off.
Donna sighed and sat in his spot. "I'd give anything for a guy like that!"
"But," I said, "you already have Benny. And that guy over there."
Donna looked over and laughed. "Oh, him! That's just Cosmo. He's Venus's friend. We got tired of Summer being picky, so we came here."
"Mmhmm," I mumbled. I caught myself staring over at Cosmo. He was looking at me, too, but he turned away when he noticed I was looking back. Cosmo was a really great name. Anyone names after stars is great already. But that messy green hair was even better.
"Wanda?" Donna asked me.
"Yeah?" I asked, still staring at Cosmo.
Donna looked over where I was looking. "Jeez, he isn't that intriguing!"
Au contraire! He was amazing! Now that was the kind of guy you wanted to spend your night dancing with.
Donna looked from me to Cosmo, who was staring at me again. "I knew something was up! You two like each other, don't you?"
"What?" I asked in amazement. "No, we haven't even met! I just think he's kind of, you know, hot."
Donna gave a sly smile. "Don't worry, I won't tell."